wonniexy

[wonniexy]

# LEFT IT IN THE PAST — bang chan

synopsis: meeting chan, after all this years, comes to you as a big surprise. You missed him, and he missed you as well, but you two have a different way to let the other know that.

genre/tropes: nostalgia!au, slight angst, fluff at first, exes meet again!au

word count: 1k

pairing: non-idol!bangchan x gn!reader

warnings: cigarettes

author's note: this is a review of a fic I wrote and posted on here a long time ago, and which I actually didn't like at all. I'm trying to review and rewrite a lot of stories I have already posted, so if you feel like you have already seen the ideas of the chapters on my blog, do not worry: you actually did and I'm just cleaning the mess this account is. Enjoy <3

~☆

When this morning you got up in a hurry to get to work after an evening full of numbers written on a thousand papers that then invaded your dreams, you would have never expected that.

You are late —  twelve minutes and thirty-eight seconds kind of late, trying so hard not to bump into your boss that when your coffee spills all over someone's pale white shirt you almost get a stroke and the void that creates inside of your stomach is the strongest you have ever felt until now. It reminds you of exam week in high school, only more embarrassing.

"I'm so, so sorry..." The panic in your voice is palpable, and your body trembles as you couch down to grab your — now empty — cup of coffee from the ground and take some tissues from your briefcase to clear up the mess you just made. Only then you realize you'll need way more tissues and a plan B about your work career.

"y/n?"

That was what you weren't expecting.

You stop your hand from wiping the floor and look up, only to meet a pair of very familiar brown eyes that are looking at you from above. They're oh so warm, just like you remembered.

"Chris?"

You can't help a smile from growing on your face as you get up and stand in front of the man.

Bang Christopher Chan: a name, a guarantee. The first boy to gently stroke your head and place a sweet kiss on the bare skin of your forehead; the first boy to teach you how to play checkers, during a chill summer night; the first boy to take you by the hand, interviewing your fingers together, without asking for permission or worrying about what the future was gonna reserve you two.

Bang Christopher Chan: your very first boyfriend and love.

Seeing him again, seven years after the end of high school and your relationship, is no small surprise. Bumping into him, trying to get into the lift at the agency you work at as he's getting out of it (counting out the coffee you managed to spill on his shirt) makes you think about how today is not even your birthday and yet luck is on your side.

You find yourself not able to take your eyes off him, even though your cheeks are on fire and his wide smile is making you melt. Even after all this time, he seems to have got the same power over you.

"I really can't believe it." He says, moving some inches closer to your figure and comingin for a hug. You don't even realize you're returning the gesture as his heart almost beats on yours. "Y/n L/n themselves! And they got my lucky shirt dirty too!"

You roll your eyes as he pulls away, giving him a crooked smirk that could very well hint at everything, "That's not your lucky shirt."

You could say a lot of other things: ask him if he's made his way into the world of law school because that what was he was supposed to do all along; ask him how his parents are doing because you haven't seen them in years; ask him what he's doing right here, right now, in this place, because when he left it felt as if he wouldn't have ever come back.

None of those thoughts, however, leave your mind. It's fine as it is. He's here now, older than before, and there's no need to bring out things that are safer to be conserved for another time.

For a moment, you revert back to being the Y/n L/n and Bang Chan you were over seven years ago, as if nothing had changed. You are close kids —way too close kids — who know everything about each other.

The man before you laughs a cheesy laughter, turning his gaze to the right and, then, back to you. "And how would you know?" He asks.

"I remember your favorite shirt, Chris. " You sigh. "It's kind of hard to forget, don't you think?"

Even if it's been years since you last saw each other, you know he would have never enjoyed a dress code like this one.

He slips his hands into the pockets of his black velvet pants and shrugs, never ceasing to smile that same smile he has had for decades for a moment. And to think, when you first met him, he was even afraid of the power smiles could hold.

"Considering you burned its collar with a cigarette, I'd say yes, it is kind of hard to forget."

"Hey!" You playfully raise your voice, slightly hitting his arm with your hand. "The pack was yours!"

"But you were the one smoking, Fudge." His eyebrows move up a little as he looks at you and you try to pretend that your heartbeat didn't just stop upon hearing the nickname ( which was given to you by Chris himself before he even decided to invite you to the movies) that, for all these years, has been buried under boxes and boxes of memories. You don't even know how he even came up with it in the first place.

You raise your arms in surrender, laughing as you speak: "Mea culpa, I guess."

For a moment, none of you talks anymore. You stay there, still, looking at everything except the other. When your gaze drops on the Harbour Bridge, it looks almost like a drawing on canvas and everything feels so familiar yet so distant.

"I haven't touched a cigarette since then, you know?" Chan says, a lower tone in his voice and his eyes on the same spot you were looking at just a few seconds before.

"Since the day I burnt your shirt?" You joke around, gifting the man you consider the biggest part of your youth with a barely sketched smile. You know what he means.

He turns toward you almost as if, even after all these years, he knows the real meaning of your words from the very beginning. His blond, short — the kind of short that always suited him more than everybody else — and wavy hair gives him a more majestic aura than you remembered from the past, or had noticed when you met him again. He looks amazing, still.

He shakes his head slightly and then, in a low whisper, he lets out the words he has kept inside.

"Since I left the town; since I left you behind."

You would love to say you missed him too.

[wonniexy]

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[wonniexy]

# IN WINTER, WE FALL — han jisung

synopsis: your first meeting with Jisung has to be some kind of hilarious, but you two are pretty good at avoiding awkwardness and, apparently, at flirting.

genre/tropes: fluff, strangers to friends, open ending, friends to lovers

pairing: non-idol!jisung × gn!reader

word count: 1.5k+

warnings: (unintentional) fall from window

author's note: is the warning even a warning, or just a spoiler? I guess I'll never know T.T I've written this short story in two hours last night because I couldn't sleep and am extremely anxious for Christmas. If it feels rushed, it's probably because it is: I genuinely suck at putting an end to fics 😭😭 I'd like to thank my best friend for telling me to use Jisung as the main character: he fits so well the whole concept <3

Also, Merry Christmas guys! Whether you celebrate it or not, make sure to stay warm, safe and watch as many Christmas movies as you can, because they're always a nice way to spend some time 🎄❄☃️

Renting a small cabin in the middle of nowhere was one of the best choices of your life. You needed to pick up a suitcase and escape for a few moments, get back to breathing: away from the voices of your family, away from Christmas presents, away from everything but, for once, yourself. You're enjoying Christmas this year much more than you ever have, and it's finally easy to appreciate every little moment and every little snowflake that falls gracefully from the sky day and night.

Grabbing the hot cup of tea you've made yourself with your hands covered by the sleeves of the warm woolen jumper you are wearing and blowing on it to a rhythm invented especially for hot cups of tea, you walk slowly towards the armchair from which you have not detached yourself for the last four days. It's big enough for you to curl up in and cover yourself with a thick blanket, and it's positioned right in front of the biggest window in the cottage: you couldn't — wouldn't even dare — ask for anything better.

You like to spend your lonely days sitting there watching the snow fall, or reading one of the many books you've brought from home, or even getting lost in your innermost fantasies and reading with your eyes on the trees outside, thinking of nothing but how good it feels to be alone in the warmth.

You make yourself comfortable in the armchair, humming to yourself as you try to cover your body with a blanket in one hand and hold your cup of tea in the other — a heroic feat, you like to tell yourself — and, once comfortable, you gaze out at the world outside your window.

It's all so beautiful, with the snow framing the picture that everything you see could be or become.

As you slowly sip your favourite green tea, your eyes rest on the cabin across from yours, just a few feet away and maybe fifty centimetres taller than the one rented to you.

"Oh?" You focus your attention on it, moving from the front door to the windows of the rooms above. "It was still closed this morning. Someone probably came in."

You don't like to get into other people's business, but you enjoy looking at any person and, from their gestures, creating a scenario about their life. It's a way to pass the time, to feel less distant from reality and it helps to think that we are not the only ones on earth. You've always done it, so even when you're sitting in an armchair in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, you look for someone. Anyone.

You don't put much hope in your search, because with the cold weather your neighbour has probably decided to shut themselves up in their house in front of the fireplace and rest, rather than shovel snow off the pavement and get wet up to their knees, but you try anyway. You have nothing else to do, after all.

And then luck — a bit of an exaggeration here — finds you, just as your lips are again resting on the rim of the cup: the one hanging from a rightmost window pane overlooking your garden is definitely a person.

You smile.

"Peter. 21, though he always says he's 22 when anyone asks." You begin your monologue, your eyes focused on the boy's figure. Unfortunately, you can only see that he's wearing a dark hat and a jacket that's probably as big as he is. "He's on holiday with his three best friends and he's lost to rock paper scissors, so he has to clean all the windows in the house." Consequently, according to your story, there he is, working and reaching for the furthest spot outside the window.

You take, again, a sip of tea, then continue:

"He's studying modern literature at a small university in his small town, but he's a bit of an id--"

Thud.

"Oh God!"

Your body immediately reacts to the thud coming from outside, and you almost spill whatever is left of the hot tea all over you as you get up eagerly.

The guy who was cleaning the window has fallen on top of a pile of snow.

Without a second thought, you run to your front door, slip on some heavy boots, and cover yourself with the biggest, warmest jacket you own. Gloves, hat, and scarf arrive immediately after.

You run out into the snow that has stopped falling a few minutes ago and hurry to the body of the boy, who has fallen in the middle of a large pile of snow, you were looking at.

Thank goodness, you say to yourself as soon as you see him move just a little to make it clear that if something has happenedto him, it is not as serious as death could be.

"Hold on, I'll help you." You start stomping on the pile of snow with your feet, trying to get closer to the young man's body. "Can you extend your arms?"

"Yes, fortunately." You hear him say.

Now that you're physically close to him and his voice comes right to your ears, you can confirm the fact that the boy can't be more than twenty-two years old. You grab his arms, trying not to slip yourself, and notice that the dark blue hat he is wearing completely covers his eyes. 

The boy tries to get to his feet as best he can and, with your support, he finally does. He shakes off the snow from his jacket and pants, shivering from all the snow that must have gotten into his clothes.

Poor him.

"Thank you." He says, adjusting his hat on his head and turning in your direction. He smiles. His cheeks are round and colored in a slight red tone.

You raise your eyebrows. "I saw you fall from the window, are you okay?"

"You saw me fall..."

"From the window."

"... from the window."

"Exactly." You say, trying not to laugh. "It wasn't exactly what I would have expected, you know."

The boy lets out an awkward laugh. Even though he's embarassed, the sound coming from his mouth is nice and clear. "It wasn't exactly what I would have expected either."

"Fair enough." You say, finally joining in his laughter. "How did it even happen?"

"I was cleaning because of some stupid bet me and my friends made..."

I got it right!

You simply nod, hiding your happiness from having guessed the situation right.

"Thanks again, by the way. For the help. And maybe for seeing me fall, too, because that was probably the reason you were able to help me."

It starts to snow again and you shrug at the boy's words, smiling in his direction. "No problem, let's just say you were lucky I'm a curious person, that's all."

With a quick movement of his arm, the boy invites you to shake his hand covered in thick woolen gloves. "The name's Han Jisung, by the way. And you can be as curious as you like with me: I'm no different. Just give me a whistle and I'll make sure I fall from somewhere else to enrich your day."

Jisung has a beautiful smile and his eyes light up under the faint light of the day, while small snowflakes rest on his hat and the shoulders of the jacket he wears. He is not a very tall boy, but he seems to have good body proportions. Which you shouldn't be thinking about right now.

Also, he seems to know how to talk. You like him and you wouldn't be too surprised if he revealed himself to be a nice companion.

You laugh at his words and, before answering, grab his hand, shaking it in greeting. "Well, Jisung, maybe instead of falling down from somewhere you could, I don't know, knock on my door and ask me for a cup of hot tea. That might enrich my day, too. Maybe even more."

His smile widens as your gaze begins to wander and settle anywhere but on him.

Never in your life have you said something like that. Maybe it's the season, maybe it's the holiday spent by yourself.

Either way, Jisung seems to be enjoying this side of you.

"I'm in." Jisung replies, smiling, if possible, even more widely. "But you haven't told me your name..."

You pluck up courage and place your eyes in his. "If you're curious, my cabin is right across the street. I also have a window that could need a quick cleaning."

The boy looks at the sky, extending one arm forward and opening his hand so that it can catch a few snowflakes. "I'm gonna get changed."

"Alright."

"Will you really make me a cup of hot tea and tell me your name?"

You dodge the question, answering with your own question for him:

"Say, Han Jisung, do you know any person named Peter?"

He looks at you, but you're looking at your big window — the same one you were behind a mere twenty minutes ago.

"That's actually my English name."

You would totally love to freak out right now. Score. I scare myself.

Instead of showing any kind of weird emotion, you simply start walking towards your cabin.

"Then I guess I really will tell you my name as I make you a cup of hot tea."

[wonniexy]

# NONE OF ME — lee heeseung

♡ this work is part of my first enhypen's collection: I Think I've Seen This Film Before.

♡ inspiration: "VO!D" by Hyunjun Hur

synopsis: Heeseung is drifting away, but the truth is that you both are. Heeseung is lost, but perhaps it was you who lost yourself first. A chasm of loneliness, a maze made out of closed doors, three thousand wrong steps that lead everything to fall under your own feet. In the end, you can say you tried, but is that really true? Yours are all nice and poetic words, but which one of you has ever really meant them? Love and fear of love in just one chapter of a story that no one will ever write: yours. Without one of you, there is none of the other. But one of you has forgotten how to find the other, and the other has forgotten how to be found.

pairing: non-idol!heeseung × gn!reader

genre: angst, established relationship au, break up au

warnings: feeling lost emotionally, holding on to the the other person

word count: 1.6k

author's note: I absolutely have no idea what goes on in this chapter *breakdance* and I usually see it as a positive thing, but really... why? 🤨 Maybe it's Heeseung who brings out the "more angsty" (sounds wrong but the keyboard ain't helping me 🙄) part of me. That's okay, I guess (???). I'll accept that. I hope you guys will enjoy this heeseung fic <3

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

1.

Heeseung is lost, and he told you more than once, on several different occasions.

"I don't know where I am these days." He whispers in your ear one night, after coming home later than usual. Much later than usual.

I don't know where you are either, Heeseung.

He kisses your head gently, because he knows you are not asleep and have a lot to talk to him about; he caresses the exposed skin of your right arm, because somehow he wants to be there for you, despite his silent absence that wears your relationship down from the gut. His body rests against yours as if the two of you were always meant to be together, and you can feel his light breath on your neck. Neither of you moves a muscle anymore, too busy taking back what little is left of everything you had in your hands. The two of you are a sculpture, the immortalised image of a love that was destined from the beginning and which, from the beginning still, was told that one day there would have been a step backwards to take.

"Really, believe me. Can you say you love me even though I've lost my way?"

If only his voice wasn't always the same, if only he didn't know how to always use it in his favour, if only you were able to get out of bed and walk away, at least for once — once, one time that might even turn out to be the first and last.

If only, if only, if only.

"Without you, there's none of me."

When you whisper it, without turning in his direction, your open eyes resting on the faint moonlight coming from your bedroom window, you're sure it's so. Or at least, you think so, because you could have said anything else, but you didn't. And when you feel Heeseung — the angel brought to earth to soothe the pain — smiling against your skin, clinging to you as if he were afraid that, by letting go of his grip, he might lose you, you try to convince yourself that it is really so: without him, there is none of you. Nothing of you remains.

He holds you up, but are you able to hold him up too?

Now, that backward step of your love has turned into a long staircase.

2.

Heeseung is lost, and he may never come back.

He does not tell you directly, because hiding behind metaphors and mince words is his armour; it's yours as well, after all. You both wear armours; you both lock yourselves in a big chest to which the other has never had the key. And it's all right, as long as you are protected from time passing like a tornado without it hitting and sucking in both of you and what you have. Or what, perhaps, you had in the past that now seems so far away it makes your head spin thinking about it.

"The void is controlling me, but I really don't want to run away. What do you think?"

Heeseung's hands are made of porcelain, as he moves a tuft of hair from your eyes with his index finger, to get a better look at you in front of the light emanating from the television. When you are together, no light is ever bright enough to show each other what you really are. So, you just stare at a full screen with the volume at zero, while your fingers intertwine from time to time and the sound of your hearts becomes the only sound to fill the room you have taken refuge in. Together. You don't spend any real time together anymore, and if you do it's all so ambiguous, all so hard to tolerate.

Heeseung is the same as always, you are the same as always, but everything that was compact is now no longer compact; everything that was snow has now melted.

Everything falls. Everything keeps falling.

Both of you drift away and take a different path. Right and left. Left and right. You cross each other from time to time, heavy shoulders and tired gaze, but you always have one single, immense thought in your head that makes you each rest in your own box; it is many letters that you dream and live in your dreams, but which disappear when you are awake:

despite everything, I know that you would wait for me.

Conviction is a serious, almost sinful feeling. Heeseung's lips are dry from repeating it in a low voice, while your eyes are releasing delicate tears with words in them that you don't want to show anyone, least of all him.

"Even if you were to run away, I would wait for us." Perhaps, it's the tears that are talking for you. Perhaps, it's the hope that Heeseung might actually return from the place he seems to have left for. "Without you, there is none of me."

Heeseung clasps your hands in his, pulling you gently to his body and kissing your temples softly, just like he does at night when he comes back later than usual and knows you're awake. You close your eyes, let yourself be rocked by his gentle touch, and when you feel your heart skip a beat, when you feel a sudden, enormous emptiness in your chest, you know that Heeseung — the boy with eyes that hold three whole galaxies — will never come back.

He is far, far, far away. He is light years away, lost in a world of which you are no longer a part. But have you ever really been a part of it?

"Even if I hold onto you, even if I hold you, I'll end up getting lost again."

And when he says that he knows you're not asleep. He says it, even though it hurts — it hurts like hell — to say those huge, heavy words, because you don't want to. At least one of you should be able to speak the truth.

But you are lost too. Were you lost before him, or did you wait until Heeseung could no longer find his way home to do so as well?

3.

Heeseung is lost, so why don't you try looking for him one last time?

His skin is cold under your touch, but you are more than certain that yours is as well. If you take each other's hands you risk freezing, and dying next to each other is no longer an option for you to hold on to. You have followed Heeseung all the way across the sea he swam, always three metres behind him, even though you may just want to convince yourself that he was not the one following you.

Look for him? How am I supposed to look for him if I'm following him? If I'm right behind his beating heart?

"Heeseung, please come back inside. It's freezing out here."

You're not following him. You're not looking for him. You've forgotten how to find Heeseung, lost in a place now unreachable to you, hidden under music that is too loud for your quiet comfort zone.

You move away from him, squeeze into your jacket and watch Heeseung's breath come to life in the chill of winter, as his eyes close in contemplation of an evening you will never relive again.

"Why won't you bring me back, y/n?"

He asks you in a whisper, his eyes still closed, his voice not trembling but hinting at an end neither of you can escape anymore. And all you do is stand there, ten feet in front of him who can't see you but is looking at you anyway. "I know you can't, don't think I don't know. But I'm asking you anyway. Why won't you bring me back?"

"I forgot how to find you, Heeseung."

Heeseung smiles sadly at your words, because hearing them ring in his ears with your voice hurts a lot more than he had previously thought, but it somehow makes him realize that what is happening is true. All too true.

"I know."

He opens his big eyes to point them straight into yours. He stares at you as if he's not really there. He's already miles away. He's sitting on a log, in front of an unlit fire, in the middle of a meadow covered in fine white snow. He looks much smaller from where you are standing. Fragile, helpless, lost.

"Why don't you look for me?" You ask, and your voice betrays you: without Heeseung, nothing of you remains and you are afraid. If he doesn't find you, what will become of you? What will you have to settle for?

Heeseung — the dreamer who dreams and tells, thinks and writes — shakes his head. "Even if I looked for you, I'd get lost again."

You smile, as tears roll down your face. "Even if you looked for me, I wouldn't know how to be found."

Heeseung got lost a long time ago, you got lost maybe long before him. Heeseung is lost and will never return, and so are you — so will you. Heeseung is lost, maybe looking for you, maybe not. You are lost, maybe looking for him, maybe not. You are somehow both lost, without being able to follow the steps you two had already taken and come back. Take each other back.

You can no longer find each other. Which one of you really doesn't know how to find the other and which one doesn't know how to be found?

But without you, there's none of me.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

taglist: @miyooki

[wonniexy]

♡ welcome to ficscafe! below are guidelines for both fic recommendations and writers that want to apply to our network.

Keep reading

[wonniexy]

# NONE OF ME — lee heeseung

♡ this work is part of my first enhypen's collection: I Think I've Seen This Film Before.

♡ inspiration: "VO!D" by Hyunjun Hur

synopsis: Heeseung is drifting away, but the truth is that you both are. Heeseung is lost, but perhaps it was you who lost yourself first. A chasm of loneliness, a maze made out of closed doors, three thousand wrong steps that lead everything to fall under your own feet. In the end, you can say you tried, but is that really true? Yours are all nice and poetic words, but which one of you has ever really meant them? Love and fear of love in just one chapter of a story that no one will ever write: yours. Without one of you, there is none of the other. But one of you has forgotten how to find the other, and the other has forgotten how to be found.

pairing: non-idol!heeseung × gn!reader

genre: angst, established relationship au, break up au

warnings: feeling lost emotionally, holding on to the the other person

word count: 1.6k

author's note: I absolutely have no idea what goes on in this chapter *breakdance* and I usually see it as a positive thing, but really... why? 🤨 Maybe it's Heeseung who brings out the "more angsty" (sounds wrong but the keyboard ain't helping me 🙄) part of me. That's okay, I guess (???). I'll accept that. I hope you guys will enjoy this heeseung fic <3

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

1.

Heeseung is lost, and he told you more than once, on several different occasions.

"I don't know where I am these days." He whispers in your ear one night, after coming home later than usual. Much later than usual.

I don't know where you are either, Heeseung.

He kisses your head gently, because he knows you are not asleep and have a lot to talk to him about; he caresses the exposed skin of your right arm, because somehow he wants to be there for you, despite his silent absence that wears your relationship down from the gut. His body rests against yours as if the two of you were always meant to be together, and you can feel his light breath on your neck. Neither of you moves a muscle anymore, too busy taking back what little is left of everything you had in your hands. The two of you are a sculpture, the immortalised image of a love that was destined from the beginning and which, from the beginning still, was told that one day there would have been a step backwards to take.

"Really, believe me. Can you say you love me even though I've lost my way?"

If only his voice wasn't always the same, if only he didn't know how to always use it in his favour, if only you were able to get out of bed and walk away, at least for once — once, one time that might even turn out to be the first and last.

If only, if only, if only.

"Without you, there's none of me."

When you whisper it, without turning in his direction, your open eyes resting on the faint moonlight coming from your bedroom window, you're sure it's so. Or at least, you think so, because you could have said anything else, but you didn't. And when you feel Heeseung — the angel brought to earth to soothe the pain — smiling against your skin, clinging to you as if he were afraid that, by letting go of his grip, he might lose you, you try to convince yourself that it is really so: without him, there is none of you. Nothing of you remains.

He holds you up, but are you able to hold him up too?

Now, that backward step of your love has turned into a long staircase.

2.

Heeseung is lost, and he may never come back.

He does not tell you directly, because hiding behind metaphors and mince words is his armour; it's yours as well, after all. You both wear armours; you both lock yourselves in a big chest to which the other has never had the key. And it's all right, as long as you are protected from time passing like a tornado without it hitting and sucking in both of you and what you have. Or what, perhaps, you had in the past that now seems so far away it makes your head spin thinking about it.

"The void is controlling me, but I really don't want to run away. What do you think?"

Heeseung's hands are made of porcelain, as he moves a tuft of hair from your eyes with his index finger, to get a better look at you in front of the light emanating from the television. When you are together, no light is ever bright enough to show each other what you really are. So, you just stare at a full screen with the volume at zero, while your fingers intertwine from time to time and the sound of your hearts becomes the only sound to fill the room you have taken refuge in. Together. You don't spend any real time together anymore, and if you do it's all so ambiguous, all so hard to tolerate.

Heeseung is the same as always, you are the same as always, but everything that was compact is now no longer compact; everything that was snow has now melted.

Everything falls. Everything keeps falling.

Both of you drift away and take a different path. Right and left. Left and right. You cross each other from time to time, heavy shoulders and tired gaze, but you always have one single, immense thought in your head that makes you each rest in your own box; it is many letters that you dream and live in your dreams, but which disappear when you are awake:

despite everything, I know that you would wait for me.

Conviction is a serious, almost sinful feeling. Heeseung's lips are dry from repeating it in a low voice, while your eyes are releasing delicate tears with words in them that you don't want to show anyone, least of all him.

"Even if you were to run away, I would wait for us." Perhaps, it's the tears that are talking for you. Perhaps, it's the hope that Heeseung might actually return from the place he seems to have left for. "Without you, there is none of me."

Heeseung clasps your hands in his, pulling you gently to his body and kissing your temples softly, just like he does at night when he comes back later than usual and knows you're awake. You close your eyes, let yourself be rocked by his gentle touch, and when you feel your heart skip a beat, when you feel a sudden, enormous emptiness in your chest, you know that Heeseung — the boy with eyes that hold three whole galaxies — will never come back.

He is far, far, far away. He is light years away, lost in a world of which you are no longer a part. But have you ever really been a part of it?

"Even if I hold onto you, even if I hold you, I'll end up getting lost again."

And when he says that he knows you're not asleep. He says it, even though it hurts — it hurts like hell — to say those huge, heavy words, because you don't want to. At least one of you should be able to speak the truth.

But you are lost too. Were you lost before him, or did you wait until Heeseung could no longer find his way home to do so as well?

3.

Heeseung is lost, so why don't you try looking for him one last time?

His skin is cold under your touch, but you are more than certain that yours is as well. If you take each other's hands you risk freezing, and dying next to each other is no longer an option for you to hold on to. You have followed Heeseung all the way across the sea he swam, always three metres behind him, even though you may just want to convince yourself that he was not the one following you.

Look for him? How am I supposed to look for him if I'm following him? If I'm right behind his beating heart?

"Heeseung, please come back inside. It's freezing out here."

You're not following him. You're not looking for him. You've forgotten how to find Heeseung, lost in a place now unreachable to you, hidden under music that is too loud for your quiet comfort zone.

You move away from him, squeeze into your jacket and watch Heeseung's breath come to life in the chill of winter, as his eyes close in contemplation of an evening you will never relive again.

"Why won't you bring me back, y/n?"

He asks you in a whisper, his eyes still closed, his voice not trembling but hinting at an end neither of you can escape anymore. And all you do is stand there, ten feet in front of him who can't see you but is looking at you anyway. "I know you can't, don't think I don't know. But I'm asking you anyway. Why won't you bring me back?"

"I forgot how to find you, Heeseung."

Heeseung smiles sadly at your words, because hearing them ring in his ears with your voice hurts a lot more than he had previously thought, but it somehow makes him realize that what is happening is true. All too true.

"I know."

He opens his big eyes to point them straight into yours. He stares at you as if he's not really there. He's already miles away. He's sitting on a log, in front of an unlit fire, in the middle of a meadow covered in fine white snow. He looks much smaller from where you are standing. Fragile, helpless, lost.

"Why don't you look for me?" You ask, and your voice betrays you: without Heeseung, nothing of you remains and you are afraid. If he doesn't find you, what will become of you? What will you have to settle for?

Heeseung — the dreamer who dreams and tells, thinks and writes — shakes his head. "Even if I looked for you, I'd get lost again."

You smile, as tears roll down your face. "Even if you looked for me, I wouldn't know how to be found."

Heeseung got lost a long time ago, you got lost maybe long before him. Heeseung is lost and will never return, and so are you — so will you. Heeseung is lost, maybe looking for you, maybe not. You are lost, maybe looking for him, maybe not. You are somehow both lost, without being able to follow the steps you two had already taken and come back. Take each other back.

You can no longer find each other. Which one of you really doesn't know how to find the other and which one doesn't know how to be found?

But without you, there's none of me.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

taglist: @miyooki

[wonniexy]

hi!! i would like to be added to the 'i think ive seen this film before' taglist :DD

Hello there <3 sure thing !! thank you so much for looking forward (I hope, at least 👀) to my collection! I'll try my best not to let you down 🌺☁️

Have a good one (or a peaceful night sleep!) 🤍💫💕

[wonniexy]

# I THINK I'VE SEEN THIS FILM BEFORE | enhypen

♡ hello, and welcome to my new series, "I think I've seen this film before", based on some of my favourite (sad) songs and starring the enhypen members!

♡ I really do not have much to say about this collection of mine, except, perhaps, "beware of angst". I haven't been able to write in a while, so I sincerely hope my works will still be of someone's liking (guys, really, scream at me if something does not make any sense).

♡ if anyone would like to be added to one (or more) of taglists in the stories, please send me either a DM or an ask !

♡ the fics urls will be added on their respective titles as soon as I publish them ^^

♡ enjoy <3

♡ the details of the stories are under the cut !

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

NONE OF ME — lee heeseung

synopsis: Heeseung is drifting away, but the truth is that you both are. Heeseung is lost, but perhaps it was you who lost yourself first. A chasm of loneliness, a maze made out of closed doors, three thousand wrong steps that lead everything to fall under your own feet. In the end, you can say you tried, but is that really true? Yours are all nice and poetic words, but which one of you has ever really meant them? Love and fear of love in just one chapter of a story that no one will ever write: yours. Without one of you, there is none of the other. But one of you has forgotten how to find the other, and the other has forgotten how to be found.

genre/tropes: slight angst, established relationship au, break up au

pairing: non-idol!heeseung × gn!reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings: feeling lost emotionally, holding onto the other person

based on: VO!D – Hyunjun Hur

SAME OLD — park jongseong (jay)

synopsis: it's been two years since you and Jay ended your relationship. In two years, you've never crossed paths again. Since you said goodbye, you have known little or nothing about each other. You know that Jay had left for America six months after your breakup and he knows that your brother got married. Little, nothing. But now you're sitting in the corner of the coffee shop where you used to meet in the past, and his scent is too him to forget. Your eyes meet as if it's magic and so many things remain unsaid. You are still the same, just with something different from Jay in your life. Jay is still the same, just with something different from you in his life.

genre/tropes: slight angst, exes meet again au, the past comes back

pairing: non-idol!jay × gn!reader

word count: tba

warnings: tba

based on: same old – SHY Martin

WHY, WHY, WHY — sim jaeyun (jake)

synopsis: it's 12:05 in the morning when Jake almost dials your number, which he knows by heart, on the keypad of his mobile phone with the innocence of a boy who has only been out of a relationship for a few weeks. Almost, because you are no longer together. At 12:06, thoughts begin to suffocate him and keep him awake under the lights of a city that, just like him, can't sleep. He should move on, he tells himself, but why, exactly? Why didn't it work out between you? Why is what you had gone now? When he gets home, half past midnight rings, but no answer opens the door to him.

genre/tropes: slight angst, exes au, nostalgia au (?)

pairing: non-idol!jake × gn!reader

word count: tba

warnings: tba

based on: WAYO – Bang Yedam

WE SAID GOODBYE — park sunghoon

synopsis: you and Sunghoon have been together for so long that you hardly remember what it's like to be alone. You never thought that one day he would no longer be by your side and Sunghoon had no doubt that you would last forever. Yet, four months into the preparations for the wedding you had been planning for years, all the good things about your relationship die away and everything you had thought about in the past turns into a big question mark. You two have done everything a couple could have done, and it's time those beautiful times come to an end. You have loved each other, you have flown together, you both want the best and still care for each other, and now you are saying goodbye.

genre/tropes: slight angst, broken engagement au

pairing: non-idol!sunghoon × gn!reader

word count: tba

warnings: tba

based on: Didn't I – OneRepublic

COLDER — kim sunoo

synopsis: you know you love Sunoo, but he only has eyes for someone else. He only has words for her as well. It hurts to see him smiling at the girl he fell for in freshman year of high school, while your eyes moisten every time he tells you that you're his best friend. Only his best friend. And maybe it hurts more because you've known Sunoo since you were born and, in the fairy tale you thought your story was, it should have been you kissing him in front of the lit candles on his birthday cake. He likes her better. You oh-so wish you were her. The third of December seems colder to you this year.

genre/tropes: slight angst, best friends au, unrequited love au

pairing: non-idol!sunoo × gn!reader

word count: tba

warnings: tba

based on: Heather – Conan Gray

IT THAT'S HOW IT ENDS — yang jungwon

synopsis: watching him as he walks away, without looking back even once, breaks your heart in half. Yet you were the one asking him to leave. All the words you could have said to him echo in your head along with all the moments you spent together. Jungwon doesn't look back, because falling in front of you when it's always been his job to protect you is not in his dictionary. He waits until he's turned the corner of your street before taking a moment to breathe and close his eyes to chase away all the hurt he's feeling. Neither of you has shed a single tear in front of the other, but you both know that if everything has to end this way, you don't want to love anymore.

genre/tropes: slight angst, break up au, lovers to exes

pairing: non-idol!jungwon × gn!reader

word count: tba

warnings: tba

based on: The Night You Left – Ashley Kutcher

YOU, YELLOW — nishimura riki (niki)

synopsis: first love never dies. Niki filled your life with his creativity, his vitality, his desire for adventure. With his yellow. He drew you, just as you drew him. Paper, color, then paper again and color once more. Moving on always hurts a little, because growing up is for everyone, but accepting it is never easy. Fifteen years old. The first love. The first flower. The first foreign hand to hold. The first portrait. Everything was yellow and, in your memory, Niki will always be yellow too.

genre/tropes: slight angst, first love au, lovers to friends

pairing: non-idol!niki × gn!reader

word count: tba

warnings: tba

based on: Yellow – Coldplay

[wonniexy]

you always tag me in so many games, @geminirules , and I sincerely love each one of them (as well as sincerely thank you so much for doing it!!!) 💗💗💕💫🥺💓❤

test

angst, hurt/comfort

you got angst, hurt/comfort! your coping mechanisms aren't the healthiest, let's admit. you have a thing for opening your wounds and rubbing salt over them, don't you? please remember you can't fight pain with pain, and there are many ways of feeling something other than ripping your heart out. you're a sensitive, empathic person, who sometimes can't handle their feelings well; you remind me of angry, stormy weather, of a bittersweet aftertaste, of colorful band aids on scraped knees.

rules: take this uquiz to see what trope you get!

tagged by: @jungwooisms

tagging: @donkey-hyuck @puppywritings @raibebe @byutafy @odentist​

you got angst, hurt/comfort! your coping mechanisms aren’t the healthiest, let’s admit. you have a thing for opening your wounds and rubbing salt over them, don’t you? please remember you can’t fight pain with pain, and there are many ways of feeling something other than ripping your heart out. you’re a sensitive, empathic person, who sometimes can’t handle their feelings well; you remind me of angry, stormy weather, of a bittersweet aftertaste, of colorful band aids on scraped knees.

[wonniexy]

tagged by: @geminirules <3 thank you so much dear💕💗💫❤

i took this test and this is my result:

I was pretty surprised, because THAT'S SO ME 😭😭

I don't interact much with people on here (as if I actually interact with anyone at all in life lmfao) so feel free to not see this as some chain: take the test and let others know your result!!!

tagged by: @geminirules <3 thank you so much dear💕💗💫❤

[wonniexy]

BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you’re supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out 💞💞

hi cutie🥺💕 it’s been a while since last talked and we should catch up😤💖

hello, luna <3 you're always so nice and sweet that my heart goes bounce bounce whenever I see notification from you 🥺💓

I'm sorry I'm not active, but studying for finals has been killing me ugh

I hope you're doing good and enjoying your days to the max! Please, stay safe and healthy🥺❤ ilysm <3 (let's catch up soon!!!)

[wonniexy]

Introducing another one of ENHYPENNETWORK’s birthday events: Countdown to Sunoo’s Birthday! From D-4 to D-Day, we’re encouraging Engenes to create content celebrating Enhypen’s smiley sunshine. You don’t have to be a member of the net to participate, and all types of content are welcome!

— DAILY THEMES

You can participate on all or just one of the days and interpret the themes however you like! Just center your content around Sunoo and have fun with it. :)

210620 ➣ D-4: Favorite Performance

210621 ➣ D-3: Favorite Sunoo Moment

210622 ➣ D-2: Favorite Friendship

210623 ➣ D-1: Favorite Thing About Sunoo

210624 ➣ D-Day: Happy Birthday Post for Sunoo ♡

— EVENT RULES

Reblog this post to spread the word.

Mention which day your post is for and tag @enhypennetwork in the caption.

Tag #enhypennetwork in the first five tags. (We recommend that you check to make sure your post has shown up in the tags after publishing, as Tumblr can be finicky about these things!)

Late posts will still be reblogged as long as you followed all the other rules.

— CONTENT RULES

No NSFW content of any kind.

No reposting/claiming another’s work as your own.

If you’re a writer: Please label your work properly, including pairing, genre, and any potential trigger warnings at the top of the post. If no warnings apply, you must say as much. If your fic exceeds 500 words, place it under the read more cut.

Please refer to our rules and content list for more information.

Feel free to send us an ask if you have any questions!

[wonniexy]

50 EPISODES OF 막내의 사생활!!!

for @chrisbangs :D

[wonniexy]

deobicarats reblog with your tbz & svt biases for science

[wonniexy]

i need to stop imagining scenarios in my head that have a -2% chance of actually happening it’s becoming a problem

[wonniexy]

“I am who I am. I have to love myself before I can love anyone else; I don’t think I can do anything at all if I’m unconfident. When I started out with this job I lacked confidence and self-love so I kept cutting myself down. That meant I always felt intimidated, but ever since I learned to love myself I’ve been more confident and relaxed and now I’m one step closer to accomplishing my goals.”- Yeonjun (Weverse Magazine)

[wonniexy]

jisung ♡ kingdom finale