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#selfreflection #continuetogrow #dontworrybehappy

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Forgiveness

An experience shared to me.. very eye opening. life is short, live in the moment, set your worries aside and let your future unfold!  Every second you spend unhappy or upset is a second of happiness you will never get back!

'I had a friend years ago who worked in a hospital. She was having an especially difficult time with a senior citizen she was taking care of and was sharing her difficulty with me. I was feeling bad for her, having to go through verbal abuse and then what she said at the end of the conversation caught me totally off guard. She said she couldn't wait until she was old and in a hospital bed so she could treat her nurses the same way. ?????? I do not understand that mentality. Have been through some stuff in my life and would never want to subject someone else to what I have been through.  If we stay in the mentality of unforgiveness we stay in bondage to whatever or whomever we refuse to let go of or forgive. We become a slave to the past and have a hard time living in the now or going forward because we are always looking back, on edge, unhappy. Sucks the possibility of joy in life right out of a person... If I can encourage anyone today it would be to forgive those things that keep you in bondage. By remembering them you will continue in bondage... Work on yourself (with God's help) and in doing so you will hopefully inspire those you have a problem with to do the same. Show kindness and forgiveness (I know that can be a hard one, I have challenges with myself every day). Jesus said ~  Matthew 6:14 The Message (MSG) 14-15 “In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part. Matthew 7 The Message (MSG) 7 1-5 “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.  "

-anonymous. 

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  This is the letter my dad would have written to his son if he knew what I know now.

—

I’m a man who is in the business of providing relationship advice for men. I encourage and lead other men to improve their intimate relationships. The path I’ve taken to this place has been rocky – and I’ve learned things. My clients and I share a history of spending our early years struggling to know ourselves AND the women in our lives.

I never received a letter from my dad giving me the “Top Secret” information I would need to succeed in my intimate relationships with women. Most men never do. My rocky ride has since smoothed out mostly because of what I’ve learned along the way. I don’t begrudge my dad for not telling me sooner. He did the best he could do and I will always appreciate how hard he worked for me.

This is the letter my dad would have written to his son if he knew what I know now.

◊♦◊

Dear Son, As your wedding day approaches I want to give you 5 THINGS to keep close to your heart in your marriage. I didn’t learn these lessons before it was too late for me. Do not make the same mistakes I did!

Before I give them to you, please understand these truths without any self-doubt. KNOW you are worthy of love. KNOW you deserve a life of love, inspiration, and passion. KNOW there will be ups and downs and to expect and embrace them.

And, KNOW that you always have the power to CHOOSE to create good feelings for other people instead of bad ones.

#1 – She can FEEL your intentions

Your wife has a very special ability to sense negative energy and pressure. She can’t “read your mind”, but she “feels your love”. This “intuition” is widely documented, though many women don’t even trust it themselves. But they WILL react to it. We men are so simple, so direct, so “what you see is what you get”. This is why we stink at reading between the lines and taking hints.

This is also why we stink at truly understanding the avalanche of emotions we can cause in our women without even knowing it. It’s obvious that your angry toned, table pounding, perfectly logical argument will ruffle emotional feathers. What’s NOT obvious is how she FEELS your intentions. Even without a word, if your energy oozes the least bit of resentment, condescension, or judgment – YOU have already declared war. And yes, it’s your fault. Sorry.

The GOOD NEWS is that your wife feels positive intention the exact same way. Positive intention means positive energy which means everything you say and do is coming from a different place – a place of love. Instead of judgment, your intention is acceptance. Instead condescension, your intention is respect. You get the idea. It MUST be true. You MUST be authentic. The results you will see in the tone of your conversations are absolutely mind-blowing! But YOU have to GO FIRST.

I can hear all of your “yeah but” arguments now and already call “bullshit”. There IS a way for you to take more ownership for your energy. You can’t own her reaction or her happiness, but you can do better, BE better – if you WANT to!

#2 – Don’t ever think she is NOT a sexual woman

If you ever decide your wife is simply not sexual, not physically affectionate, or EVER aroused – you’re wrong. Just like you, she is designed for sexual arousal and sexual pleasure. That’s about where the similarities end.

She DOES think about sex. She DOES have fantasies. She DOES get aroused. But, if your marriage has tensions, she just doesn’t have YOU in mind.

Sex is not a guaranteed fringe benefit of marriage.

Don’t let “life” numb your awareness of your responsibility. Sex is not a guaranteed fringe benefit of marriage. Sex is the result of an age old cycle of attraction, flirtation, and foreplay. And that’s really all she wants. If you lose this recipe she can easily imagine it with someone else. Women simply will not have sex with someone they don’t feel attracted to.

The key word to remember is ATTRACTION. Without this, flirting and foreplay are a complete waste of time unless you’ve pushed so hard you wind up with “obligation sex” – the worst possible type! I don’t want that for you.

The most important thing to know about attraction is that it will not happen in an environment of bad feelings. You have the ability to create feelings of attraction – or not. This ability will come from you KNOWING who you are, what you believe in, and the direction you’re going in life. Attracting her to join you means always respecting her and supporting her need to do the same for herself. You are neither superior nor inferior to her. Help her feel that in her heart every day.

While you are not in charge of her moods or behavior, you need to be aware of how you may be involved in her reactions toward you. Becoming attractive to her may involve reversing some damage you unknowingly inflicted. If you have been argumentative, dismissive, resentful, negative, or critical you ARE in charge of that and need to get to work. Why?

Because fixing THAT stuff is important for WHATEVER goals you have in life. If you decide to fix that stuff JUST TO GET SEX she will know it in an instant! Yes, she really is THAT good. A man who is willing to resort to “stuff” to earn sex is seen and FELT as tremendously non-masculine to a woman.

#3 – She has no choice but to LEAD if you’re not trying

By “lead”, I mean being the one who chooses to OWN your part in the marriage and the household. So many men will complain about their “bossy wife” or their “nagging wife” or their “disrespectful” wife. Why? …because they deserve it.

Your wife will rightfully expect and appreciate some leadership from you! Leadership is an important part of the attraction formula. Many men allow their women to lead everything:

the kid department,

the laundry department,

the meal department,

the cleaning department,

the relationship department,

and even the SEX department!

It’s no wonder these guys find themselves begging for morsels of respect and physical affection. They don’t deserve it. You see, the type of leadership I’m talking about is really about your ownership of some of the departments.

Taking responsibility and following through is absolutely SEXY. Establishing your personal values for what you’re in charge of is SEXY. Playing your role in keeping the relationship loving, respectful and fun is SEXY. 

This type of leadership will finally allow her to feel safe, trusting, and relaxed because YOU have stepped up. A woman lucky enough to have a man like this doesn’t have to resort to nagging or bossing. With the right level of leadership she will respect you, partner with you and be proud of you.

#4 – She expects you to understand how to help her feel safe emotionally

For both men and woman, Emotional Safety simply means that our emotions are not judged and not subject to debate. It means that emotions are respected for being real and important exactly as they are felt. It means the environment is safe for sharing and discussing our feelings.

Emotions are not supposed to make sense or be logical. THINK before you say, “Well, you shouldn’t feel that way.”

When a woman says, “I hate it every time you lose your temper. It makes me feel, I don’t know, I just hate it!” What she’s trying to say is that “You have the ability to either make me feel good or bad, and you are choosing to make me feel bad.” And THAT choice of yours speaks volumes to her about your concern and respect for her. And it never helps to tell her, “It has nothing to do with you. You shouldn’t feel that way.” Trust me on that one.

If a man chooses to create an environment of emotional safety, he is choosing to understand what behaviors of his can allow that to happen. He is choosing to make changes in how he responds to his wife’s emotions. He learns the power of a masculine response over a boyish reaction.

#5 – She picked you for a reason

She is attracted to you. She thinks you are funny. She laughs at your jokes. She loves making love to you. She trusts you and respects you. She is proud of you.

Don’t screw this up. She loves who you are now. But, you have a lot of growing to do still.

Within the first few years of marriage, many men lose sight of who they are and why they picked her. They can grow impatient, critical, and judgmental. These negative emotions start in very subtle ways during seemingly inconsequential events.

If you’re not careful, those events will lead to bigger events and soon you may find that her trust, respect, and attraction for you has faded away.

Be the man she married. Be the man she needs. Be the man who is better than trying to “get even” by creating bad feelings in her just because you’re feeling bad.

Love her. Give to her without expecting something back. Respect her words and her dreams without judgment.

Talk to her. Be open. Be vulnerable. Let her understand you and your fears. Cry with her.

But don’t stop leading! Lead YOURSELF first so you can lead her to a stronger marriage.

Accept responsibility. Expect more from yourself. Surround yourself with other good men like you who are on the same path.

I’m one of those men and I’ll always be with you – for the rest of your life.

Love, Dad

  Originally posted on Noomii.com

Photo Credit:  Bigstock.com

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#MothersDay! #MotherOfTheYear @sandrajavier #IloveHer #MySupport (at Blue Agave Club)

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We are fam--ily! Got my two little cousins with me! #showtime (Taken with Instagram)

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“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”

FB

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Never thought the day would come when I buy my first car in my name! Chevy Cruz LTZ! #HIGHCLASSLIVING (Taken with Instagram)

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THE "POWER OF SUCCESS" IS WITHIN MY OWN ABILITY TO PERFORM EVERY TASK AT HAND WITH ATTENTION TO DETAIL WHILE GIVING 110% FANATICAL EFFORT AND COMMITTING TO EXCELLENCE, AND IF DONE SO, IN RETURN I WILL RECEIVE THE "SUCCESS OF POWER"

G-MAN

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HOW I MEDITATE

HOPEFULLY THIS WILL FIND YOU WELL

Day1

I do meditate regularly and I love it. I find it very helpful and useful in my daily life. I use meditation as a tool to develop my mind and emotional barriers. Today I focused on happiness. I listen to a podcast what has soothing music and sounds of a blissful paradise and waves crashing on the beach, seagulls squawking, and wind swiftly and refreshingly blowing over me. I start by focusing on relaxing one body part at a time and slowly work my way from head to toe. I feel every tingle and sensations and pulse throughout my whole body. Then I enter a deep state of mind where Im not just relaxing in bed I am relaxing on a beach chair watching the sunset. I feel an intense sense of relaxation and happiness while the whole time in my other dimension of consciousness I am smiling the whole time. I then start to surround myself with nothing but positive people and energy and objects of desire. I use this to get me to a level of happiness where I can then start my day with a great level of positivity and happiness and be able to maintain that throughout the day.

Day 2

Today I imagined myself taking a night hike in the forest. I used this dark quite energy not only an escape from the real world and life’s problems but also to practice having the feeling of being alone in a dark place and relying on nobody but myself to get myself out of it. The key is to keep calm and collected taking it step by step allowing myself to continue to feel accomplished. I then find a path and not just walking over bushes and tree stumps and continue it all the way to the only doorstep I can recognize from a mile away… my home. The only place I feel safe and secure. This makes me feel through life’s adversity I will always be okay because I have established  the sense of happiness and security through myself so I wouldn’t have to burden anyone else with my problems and would be able to go head on with life’s situations and be happy and successful in the end.

Day 3

Today I focused on anger… not in a bad way but a way to grow and develop. I started of getting to the point of full relaxation and come one with myself with a deep feeling of security and confidence. I then start to surround myself with situations and people and personalities that I know  frustrate me and even amplify tough situations I have had in the past. I then feel a level of frustration that is more than I am used to and I use it to grow. How I am able to use this to grow is almost like muscle memory or weight lifting. The heavier you lift the stronger you get. The more anger I can feel then overcome the higher anger tolerance I can maintain and deal with.  Once I get to that point of aggression I take a HUGE deep breath and become selfless and humble and have a huge level of humility and am able to get over that aggression and bitterness. I come to realize that no problem is too big to overcome or too small to oversee and that there is a solution to everything no matter how long it may take to solve.

Day 4

Today I focus on what drives us to do everything that we do on our life witch is emotion. And a biggest part of our emotion comes from a level of attachment, affection, or simply LOVE. I start my journey ( with soothing music in the background of course) at one end of the beach in the early morning walking to the other end in the direction of the rising sun. I begin to think of all the great qualities I look for in a women and with each asset I think of I find a beautiful see shell that signifies it. And I begin to realize the type of women I am searching for or feel fit to be with. At this time in my life I know what I want and what I deserve and until I find that perfect girl to put all my shells in one basket for and give to and not hold anything back for, is when my sun will rise and I can begin the first day of the rest of my life.

Day 5

Today I feel as I am completely happy and accomplished of myself and my week. I feel blessed, happy, accomplished and motivated. I feel a level of energy ready to take on anything. Today I just felt myself in paradise and created a dream vacation and finished meditation very happy and fully relaxed! I LOVE MEDITATING! It’s a vacation in the comfort of your own home! J

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WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE?!

Since before we can remember as toddlers, back when life was worry free and had no one to influence our life or decisions... is when the whole world around us including our imagination and thoughts were free to roam. Our creativity was limitless. Now that we continue to grow and develop our thoughts and ideas... how do you think ones personality comes to shape into what it is now?

It can be shaped either by ones parents thoughts, beliefs, values? Friends thoughts, beliefs, values? Social influence? Maybe through traumatic events.  Now ask yourself...Are the views of your parent the exact same or complete opposite of your own? Or are your views the exact same as everyone else in the world? PROBABLY NOT! Now you see...sometimes life is more than just black and white and there are many grey areas. 

After a certain point in our lives, after being filled with so much knowledge about life, the world, and the society we live in; we begin to develop our own opinions, own thoughts, own ideas, and own ways of doing things. We begin to live our life as if we are in control of every aspect of it; We begin to take charge and sometimes force people to fallow; Sometimes we think our ideas are so great that no other thought or idea is nearly as brilliant as ours; And in this case it is every bit of a fallacy, a myth, not true.

So many people forget that life isn't about being perfect the first time you test the water but about testing the water until you become perfect. You can't expect to wake up one day and decide to compete in a triathlon and finish first with no hardwork, dedication, commitment to excellence,  passion, or drive. Another point to add is that not everyone is the same. Everyone has their own definition of success and if it is a success to just finish the race let alone knowing what the time was... than one has succeeded and got at least a little bit better then before that one person started. The only thing we can do is worry about our own race and support the others in their race and not to interfere. 

So you see... there are so many different aspects of life where so many different types of people come from. So who are we to judge others? Who is there to say there isn't more than one way of doing something. Why have so many people in our society become so controlling, narrow minded, stubborn, and so against change. Why do they feel the need to control every aspect of life. 

I know what it is like to be judged and second guessed. I know what it's like to be looked down upon for what I think and know to be true. I know what it's like to deal with harsh criticism. I know what its like being the center of discussion when I'm supposedly no where near.  I even almost got lost in myself and didn't know what was right from wrong anymore. But I stuck with my what made me who I am today or maybe what it is that makes others want to be the person they dream of becoming. I realize that I am my own person and no one can change me but my self.

The first thing for you to realize is where this advice or criticism is coming from. Is it coming from someone who truly wants to help you and has been where you've been and succeed already; or is this advice coming from someone who is not proven to be any more credible than you are?  Be careful to whose and what advice you choose to let better you or phase you in a negative way. If you are true to yourself and secure with everything you are and will become then you have nothing to worry about. For me, all I know is working hard to the best of my ability and doing everything I can to better myself, my opportunity, and my surroundings, all while giving 110% effort because I know at the end of the day if I fail or the outcome is not where it needs to be no  matter the situation, I know that I gave it my all and not one person's judgment can ever phase me.

It is never your job to impress your peers but to work as a team with and contribute as much as you can while all working towards a common goal. However it is your job to maximize every opportunity you are blessed to receive. As for people who usually pass judgment are ultimately insecure with themselves so don't let their pity phase you. Live your life and keep doing you and what you know to be true because at the end of the day your hard work and dedication��will not go unnoticed or unappreciated! 

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One may strip you away from everything you can possibly own including feelings or belongings... but no one can take away your power to help others and to guide them through the now newly paved path you once walked before. 

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The Los Angeles Clippers started the season hot, sparking debate about "who's the best team in L.A. But things have changed and if not careful, they'll find themselves with a new coach, victims of the 'the coach lost the team' epidemic.

Originally Posted By Bobby Bluford

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BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!!!

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Life is both magic and pain. What a gift that we don't have to do it alone. People need other people. If you need help, please ask for it. You deserve it.

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TRUTH... YOU WONDER...

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Why are you so darn cute?

I think its cuz im such a genuine guy. but would you like to answer that question?