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woosanniee · 4 years

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[ateez] S E O N G H W A ⤮ baby daddy au

HIS SON IS A PRODIGY AND HE NEEDS A (mommy) NANNY. MAFIA SEONGHWA.

a/n: in honor of the beautiful vlive from last night 😭😭. how ya’ll doing Seonghwa stans?

• Seonghwa’s proud of his son.

• even if he works dirty jobs—

• isn’t exactly proud of himself.

• he’s got pride, believe me.

• but it’s not ordinary pride.

• Seonghwa’s far from the ordinary.

• “The nanny quit.” Hongjoong teeter’s Seonghwa’s baby-double on his hip. “Hwa, you need to find someone who can handle Yeolhwa. Your son is as bad as you. If not, worse.”

• he chuckles lowly putting down his stack of papers before reaching over for his son.

• his son always curling at the scent and warmth of his father.

• he playfully glares picking at his cheeks before telling him, “Yeolhwa, you can’t just pull nanny’s hair when you can’t get something you want. That’s not good.”

• Yeolhwa’s too young to understand.

• because his son is spoiled by everyone he encounters.

• and Seonghwa expects nothing but when he works his ass off to get the things he wants.

• he doesn’t want his son to struggle the way he did when he was young.

• “What’s the mother doing?” Hongjoong is merciless when he asks. “That dumb skank only knows one thing and it’s popping kids and popping pills.”

• he admits he’s had too much leisure when having his fun in the past—

• but he never regrets having his son in a mistake he can barely even remember.

• “I’ve made it clear he needs no mother.”

• “Seonghwa, no matter what you do, that boy needs a mother.” the younger rolls his eyes. “A nanny can only make up so much for what you deprive. And your job doesn’t make things easier. You can’t take care of him like this forever. Not by yourself.”

• Seonghwa teeters his own son to sleep in his arms.

• staring and cradling his face like he’s the greatest gift not even money can buy—

• not even his power.

• he didn’t have to kill someone to get Yeolhwa.

• his son is everything to him.

• but he has to make sacrifices to give his son everything.

• nothing is ever just given.

• “I’m sorry it’s such short notice, Ms. y/n. But I hope the accommodations we have are enough to settle with.” Hongjoong opens the door for you. “Yeolhwa can be a little arduous when it comes to caretaking. Do be careful.”

• you are anxious you must admit.

• the home smells eerily like iron and musk.

• you can tell the job you took wasn’t just leisure or easy money.

• “Oh.” you shyly smile. “I’m sure he’s just a little hard to understand. Children can be unpredictable and we can’t blame them for that.”

• Hongjoong hears that too many times.

• knows that’s what they all say.

• chokes on his breath before he says something that might scare you away.

• “Well I must get back.” he hands you a cellphone and a book of references before pulling his suit. “Please don’t hesitate to call me. Everything you need is in that book. I’ll be back to relieve you at 9 pm tonight.”

• “Thank you, Mr. Hongjoong. I hope I don’t let you down.”

• he scoffs at that. “Good luck, Ms. y/n. You’re gonna need it.”

• you don’t know what that means.

• but you’re more concerned on taking care of a child who is claimed to be intolerable.

• and you stern by the idea of inexperienced children.

• because they’re not like us.

• they learn from what they’re surrounded with.

• “M-mr. Hongjoong. I’m sorry for bothering you but I was wondering if I can take Yeolhwa to the park today. I see there’s no schedule for outside play time and I—“

• “Unfortunately his father doesn’t approve of outside exposure.” Hongjoong’s fast to quib. “He’s going to have to settle playing inside.”

• “But Mr—“

• “I apologize y/n but that just can’t happen.”

• you observe Yeolhwa.

• he’s a quiet and kept child.

• but he doesn’t like the word no.

• no, he likes getting what he wants.

• and he plays with his toys like they’re not toys at all.

• holds his toy gun like it’s almost real.

• “Yeolhwa, what’s that baby?”

• he looks up to you with golden eyes. “Nanny y/n.”

• you smile at the small boy who offers you a book. “You want me to read to you?”

• he cracks a smile and curls in your lap.

• he’s a sweet kid and is quite capable.

• but you see why he’s not easy to deal with.

• not when he throws tantrums like he’s a grown ass adult—

• “Yeolhwa baby, put the book down.” you ease him in the best way possible. “Sweetie, you can’t play anymore. You have to take a nap.”

• he sobs again.

• hurling a heavy hard cover book in your direction.

• sighing, you only collect the things he throws never giving it attention.

• it only peeves him more.

• “You can cry all you want. But crying won’t get you your toys, baby. You have to sleep.”

• eventually fulfilling your hopes,

• he gets tired.

• curling in your lap when he seeks comfort and warmth for slumber.

• once he’s asleep, you pack your things ready to leave for the night.

• “I hope he wasn’t too much trouble.”

• Hongjoong’s surprised the safe house wasn’t a complete wreck.

• he’s surprised nothings broken.

• but notices the bruising marks that formed on your legs.

• “I’m assuming you won’t be back?” he asks while teetering the small sleeping boy on his hip.

• “I’ll be back.” you affirm. “And I don’t intend to leave any time soon.”

• he’s convinced you’re different.

• that you have a certain will and composure that resembles someone he knows.

• tells Seonghwa immediately.

• “She’s worth watching. You should definitely see.”

• it happens again for the next couple days.

• but Yeolhwa’s toys hurt more than the books.

• and now you’re bleeding hard in the bathroom while he sleeps in his bed.

• “Children are unpredictable, y/n.” you mumble to yourself. “They grow learning from you.”

• Seonghwa watches through his monitor how you treat his child.

• sometimes peeved that you don’t give his son what he wants—

• but mesmerized when his son crawls into your lap every time despite it.

• “Hongjoong, I’ll be picking up Yeolhwa tonight. And prepare Yunho for babysitting duty.”

• Yeolhwa cries when he’s pulled out of your arms by a dark suited man,

• wants to stay in yours.

• crying for your name while you smile softly at him, hand to his cheek.

• “I’ll be back tomorrow, baby.” you coo. “Be a good boy okay? And I promise if you don’t cause trouble, I’ll come back every time.”

• he understands well for a child.

• curling obediently into the dark suited man who resembled him after you spoke.

• “I’m assuming you’re the infamous father?”

• Seonghwa studies you. “You take care of a child well. Thank you.”

• you shake it off pulling at your scarf. “I take care of a child as if it’s my own. Thank you for letting me.”

• your voice is soft,

• motherly and gentle.

• Seonghwa hasn’t felt this kind of delicate emotion in years.

• “I have dinner waiting. Care to join me?”

• you smile while holding at Yeolhwa’s reaching hand. “I have my own family I must attend to, Mr. Park.”

• “It’ll only be a couple minutes.”

• you notice the tattoos on his neck.

• the similar stamp of injustice that lingered on each of the men you’ve met prior.

• realizing days ago that Seonghwa’s son was a prodigy.

• one so that isn’t exactly safe or ordinary.

• “Your family relies on you.” Seonghwa keeps his eyes on you in midst of eating. “You’re a very lovely woman, y/n. Strong willed and captivating.”

• you blink softly unsure of how to respond. “I do what I must..”

• “Don’t we all.”

• your eyes meet his and you swallow your emotions harshly biting back at your lip.

• you don’t deny he’s a charming man.

• like his son, quiet and kept.

• “But you’re a beautiful woman too.” he admits. “Caring and gentle. My son’s fond of you for those reasons. He has good taste.”

• “Like his father I presume?” you tease making him laugh. “I have one request I want to light up though, Mr. Park. I want to bring your son out. Expose him to more than just the guns and walls.”

• he notes your observance.

• strong willed indeed.

• “I trust you.”

• you should be the one trusting him.

• but it’s inevitable what happens with his son as soon as he’s vulnerable, exposed.

• he’s a prodigy wanted by the best and worst of the world.

• and now your shielding a child with your own life.

• as if he was yours.

• “Hey baby, don’t cry. You’re gonna be okay. Yeolhwa, you’re gonna be okay sweetie.”

• he’s only crying because you’re crying.

• cause you don’t know what to do in this situation.

• but when Seonghwa appears from nowhere, spins you and his son around into his chest,

• you suddenly feel safe.

• him guarding you,

• you shielding his son.

• “Y/n, look at me.” he’s careful to touch you. “I’m gonna need you to come with me, okay?”

• you can only blink when his son is yanked out of your hands,

• the poor boy wanting only you.

• but with Seonghwa’s men, he’s safer.

• Seonghwa staying behind to protect you.

• “Y-Yeolhwa!”

• “He’s gonna be okay.” Seonghwa caresses your face shooting blank bullets over the car you two hide against. “I need to get you out of here okay? You need to be strong for me.”

• crying’s not gonna get you anywhere and if anyone were to know that, it would be you.

• so you follow.

• now safe from harm, Yeolhwa sleeping soundly on your lap,

• while his men try to console you with a cup of hot herbal tea and sweet talk.

• “This must be a lot for you. We’re sorry y/n.”

• you smile softly bouncing Seonghwa’s son up and down on your lap. “I don’t mind. I read the book Hongjoong gave and it was all in the fine print. A disclaimer that promised to keep me safe.”

• it’s no lie even Seonghwa’s men find you attractive.

• and it might be because you’re so humble.

• so delicate.

• Seonghwa has a proposition for you when Yeolhwa’s asleep.

• today being the day you should be quitting.

• but you promised Hongjoong your full effort and nothing but.

• “Y/n, stay with me.”

• Seonghwa leans his forehead against yours, hand cradling the line of your jaw.

• you feel warm against his touch.

• like a baby to a mother.

• in this case, a woman to a man.

• “Stay with me and Yeol.” he runs a finger over your parted lips. “He needs you. He needs a mother.”

• he admits his son has grown to love you.

• and maybe he’s grown to love you too.

• “I can’t take care of him the way you do.” he watches as your eyes lull to his voice. “He won’t be able to live without you.”

• “I’ll stay for as long as he needs me too.”

• it’s the first time Seonghwa’s ever stayed home.

• ever slept in his own bed with his own son curling into his chest.

• but it’s not the first time he’s slept in a bed with a woman.

• but it’s the first in his own bed with a woman he loves.

• “Mommy, hurry..”

• your eyebrows furrow and you whip around to face Seonghwa and his son,

• “M-mommy?”

• Seonghwa chuckles brushing through his sleepy son’s hair. “You heard him, mommy. Come to bed.”

• you take care of his son like he’s your own.

• but now Yeolhwa doesn’t need a nanny anymore.

• most of the time, looking for his father.

• “He doesn’t need me anymore, Seonghwa.” you playfully nudge at him when his chocolate haired son plays with new toys. “I don’t think I need to stay.”

• “Absurd.” the mafia boss spins you on your feet so your lips meet his. “If he doesn’t need a nanny, he needs a mother. But if he didnt need you at all then stay because I do.”

• you giggle against your boyfriend’s lips.

• “Hongjoong keeps having me sign a contract.” you pull at his collar, studying his eyes some more. “But the one this morning seemed to have unordinary discrepancies.”

• “That’s because that was a marriage contract.”

• “Ah.” you tease, him biting at your lip. “That must be why I saw your name instead of Yeol’s.”

• “APPA!”

• you two are suddenly pulled apart, the small boy holding out his arms protecting your legs.

• “You’re hurting mommy with your teeth! Bad appa.”

• you choke a laugh when Seonghwa furrows at the cockblock son of his.

• “Yeolhwa, you can’t just hurt me to get the things you want.” Seonghwa teases hoisting up his smiley son on his hip. “Who taught you that?”

• “You appa. You said we have to protect mommy from bad people. And that mommy should never get hurt.”

• “Oh yeah. I did, didn’t I?”

@atinybitofau

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woosanniee · 4 years

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[ateez] S A N ➱ baby daddy au

YOU HAVE TO RAISE HIS SON AFTER HE LEAVES. MAFIA SAN.

warnings: teen pregnancy

a/n: sorry ya’ll I accidentally posted this on my main lol - @atinybitofau

• raising a son on your own was hard.

• raising a son whose genes were on par to his notorious father was even harder—

• a hooligan. a mischievous troublemaker.

• an eyesore in morality.

• and yes, your son was just like him.

• cold. ruthless. blood thirsty.

• but unlike San, your son loved you enough never to leave you.

• appreciated the things you did for him enough to stay.

• “Eomma..”

• you turn on your side when your son interrupts your slumber,

• injuries blatant on his tethered arm.

• raising a child who’s now 13 since you were 16 never easy.

• “Where were you, Ari?”

• he sits at the edge of your bed and leans for the warmth only a mother could give. “I was trying to get your medicine.. but I ended up causing a scene and the store owner kicked me out.”

• you sigh letting him lay down beside you. “It’s just a little cold. You don’t need to go and risk your life to save mine.”

• he wants to ask you.

• he’s old enough..

• why hasn’t his father came back to be the one the take care of you?

• to take care of him.

• why do you have to suffer alone?

• “Ari, just do me a favor and take care of yourself the way you do for me.” you cuddle into your sons warmth too. “That’s all I need.”

• but you’re lying.

• you’re getting sicker.

• and he can’t take it anymore.

• he goes to lower than the low to find something to save you, his mother.

• eventually ending up tied up in San’s gang house.

• brutally beat for intervening a drug heist—

• “Alright you little shit,” San holds your son up by the collar, blood running down his face mixed with his tears. “I don’t care that you’re 13 years old. Hell you could’ve been 10 and I’ll still beat the living crap out of you. No one just comes barging into a drug heist for no reason. That’s not just a coincidence.”

• it is.

• it really is.

• and maybe god was just giving him a sign.

• because you were on the verge of dying—

• and his own son being dealt his life and in the hands of his own father,

• yet San still didn’t know what was going on.

• what sign god was trying to give him.

• “I have to admit.” San runs a finger down his son’s chiseled jaw and smirks. “You’ve got a nice face. But in a couple minutes, you might not even be able to recognize it anymore.”

• “I-I-I was just trying to get medicine for my mom! I swear.”

• San really needed to get a clue.

• not all drugs were recreational.

• and some—

• some can actually save lives not just make dirty money.

• “You think I’ll believe that sissy crap?”

• Ari shudders looking to his torn up jeans. “H-her pictures in my wallet. I swear, she’s the only thing I’ll do anything illegal for. I promise I wasn’t trying to fuck anything up. She’d kill me if I got involved. Kill herself if I pushed myself too far.”

• he’s convinced at the desperation in the poor kid’s voice.

• normally not as merciful but he digs through the kid’s pocket for the picture anyway.

• and he should be glad he did because shit—

• the picture of you made him go from 100 to 0 real quick.

• “Y/n?”

• “T-that’s her! That’s my mom.”

• San glances up at the beat up kid, horrified.

• horrified at the sight.

• that he was basically beating to death a walking replica of himself.

• an age far enough that fit the time he left you.

• “You’re telling me my high school sweetheart..” San’s bloody fingers curl around your picture. “The woman you’ve been trying to steal medication for is your mom? The woman in this picture.”

• he’s at first in denial.

• that the kid he almost beat to death was your son.

• but denial hits him even harder the chances he could also be the father.

• “M-my mom is everything to me.” Ari bawls his last tears out begging for his own father to spare his life. or anything to save yours. “She’s only got me. I’ve only got her. S-sir please. At least save her. If you wanna kill me sir, please save my mom first.”

• his jaw clenches,

• still knealt down on one knee propped in front of his pleading son.

• studying every feature of his face.

• how on par everything was to his own.

• San was beating up his son, he realized.

• holy shit he was about to kill his own son.

• “Why didn’t she tell me?”

• “W-what?” his son chokes. “What do you mean?”

• “Fucking hell— kid, I think I’m your dad.”

• the five days that your son was held captive was long enough for your body to grow cold and weaker.

• laying in a hospital bed nearly blacked out.

• your son cries over your body as you sleep.

• hoping he’s not too late.

• not too late to give you the one thing that might be able to keep you alive.

• a husband?

• finally a father to your child.

• “You’re the husband?” the doctor finds San watching from the doorway awkwardly glancing at the black dressed men who towered behind him. “You’ve got quite the entourage there, sir. But not even an army of soldiers would be able to save your wife right now. She’s hanging on a thin line. Barely holding on. That woman needs a miracle if she wants to live the next good years of her life.”

• San watches as his son that he never knew about cries over you.

• wishes you would’ve told him..

• he would’ve stayed.

• would’ve loved you.

• why were you always so selfish? always wanting to do things that pushed you too far even if there were another option available.

• “Eomma.”

• you hear everything.

• your son.

• San.

• “Ma, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get the medicine. I got into trouble again, ma. I’m sorry.” Ari folds his hand over your limp one’s. “B-but I have something even better. Someone who could help you and me. He can take care of us, ma.”

• it hurts.

• you want to wake up for your son because he deserves the world.

• he deserves a fight for the both of you but the option you chose came short.

• in the past, the option of never telling San in the first place of his own son.

• “Ma.. he’s gonna talk to you okay? I’m gonna let him talk to you.” Ari sniffles and suddenly your hand gets replaced with a different warmth. “He’s gonna tell you it’s gonna be okay. I love you, eomma. I love you. We’re gonna be okay.”

• it’s almost enough.

• your heart beats a little faster.

• burns a little more so you could breathe on your own.

• it’s definitely working.

• “You shoulda told me, bubba.”

• the nickname San had given you years ago,

• a nickname you thought you’d never hear again, rings in your ear and that light so far away,

• it gets further.

• “You shoulda told me about him. About you.” he lifts your hand against his trembling lips. “13 years? 13 years after I tell you to take care of yourself and now you’re almost dying. Come on now. My girl was a fighter. Pushed herself harder than she wanted to.”

• his voice is like a mantra—

• a dream that gives you a little bit more of life you we’re starting to lose.

• “Bubba, you were the love of my life. And I didn’t tell you enough how much I appreciated you. I know it may be too late and if god forbid I do lose you, I will make sure our baby stays safe okay?”

• you think if you were awake right now you’d be crying.

• as if a weight lifted off your shoulders.

• cause the one person who could save you right now—you and your son,

• was right here.

• ready to go merciless to keep you two safe.

• “I left loving you. And I’ll come back loving you. 13 years only kept us apart. But let me tell you, y/n, it never stopped me from loving you.”

• he’s unsure when he lets go of your hand.

• usually gets what he wants with one word—

• cause he’s a notorious mobster.

• but let’s just say you were the one thing he wanted he could’ve never gotten even with two words.

• 3?

• “I love you.” he continues. “And if I’m gonna have to love our son the way I should’ve loved you then so be it.”

• but life’s not like movies where you wake up right during a miracle.

• this miracle takes time.

• and after an EXPENSIVE deal of money and medicine to keep you alive,

• a year it takes for you to finally open your eyes.

• to a nice hospital bed room.

• filled with flowers and the reminiscent scent of old spice and San.

• your hair’s a bit longer.

• the sun’s definitely brighter.

• but not as bright as the smile you see once you turn to the side.

• “Good morning beautiful.” San reaches his forehead against yours. “How were your dreams?”

• you choke on a decent reply. “S-San?”

• “The one and only.”

• “Where’s— Where’s Ari? Where’s my—“

• “Our?” San chuckles softly. “You mean our son.”

• you kind of remember.

• it takes a while to remember the voices and the dreams in your head.

• how waking up to find them real was surreal on its own.

• “He’s at school, bubba.” San cradles your face in the palm of his hand staring at you like he was hypnotized. “I’ll have someone pick him up. Tell him mommy’s awake.”

• “San..” you shake your head in his hand. “How is this real?”

• “Our son might be a miracle worker. Brought us together the way we made him. Brought me so I could keep you alive.”

• cheesy as you remember.

• although this handsome and older version of your old flame you aren’t too sure.

• “So you just show up while I’m in a coma and play daddy while I sleep?” you hoarsely chuckle while he smiles against your lips. “Even after 13 years, you won’t grudge against me for not telling you?”

• “I can’t blame you for trying to save yourselves.” he admits with his lips still on yours. “I wasn’t good enough for you. I know still I’m not. But I’m gonna try this time. Even if I have to pretend I’m not who I am sometimes.”

• you two are interrupted by a crying teenager.

• one you remembered resembled San.

• but now them standing right next to each other,

• looking like two carbon copies and a surreal dream in your head.

• maybe you are dead...

• “Ma!” he shoves his father away abruptly. “Look ma! I brought dad! He helped pay your debt, pays for my school. Even finished the hospital bills.”

• you glare at your always boisterous ex boyfriend and long lost father to your son.

• “You did what?”

• “Did I mention this was my way of getting back at you for not telling me about my 14 year old son?”

• “San how the hell am I gonna pay you back?”

• you just woke up.

• and the doctor runs in ready to sedate to keep you stable for at least more than 24 hours.

• but the way San looks at you is enough.

• him being there like your life long medication itself.

• holding your hand while your son holds your other one proposing,

• “Marry me. And we can call it even.”

@atinybitofau

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woosanniee · 4 years

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First Time with San

Pairing: Choi San x reader

Genre: SMUT, Fluff, a bit of crack cause why not?

Words Count: 3,553

Warnings: Oh boy… Mentions of foreplay, mutual masturbation, oral (m & f receiving), fingering, dirty talk, praising, nipple play, ass grabbing, riding, protected sex

Summary: Choi San, recognized as sex on legs among fans, was exactly-if not more- truthful to his reputation, and you quickly discovered that from the beginning of your relationship with him. In fact, you were about to find out about how much that name was made for him.

A/N: Here’s the sixth story from my First Time fics series with our demon San! I was so eager to write this one, cause let’s be honest here…SAN GOT US ALL FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAYS! Anyways! As always this is a work of fiction and my personal view of how the first time with San COULD be, so no accuracy guaranteed. Please feel free to give me feedback! Xx. B.

[Unedited yet]

_________________________________

You liked to think that your relationship with San was just like any other regular couple. But you had to stop lying to yourself. Of course, it was not near similar.

First, he was an idol, so you had to live the perks of it. Hiding your relationship from the rest of the world, “sharing” him with thousands and thousands of fans, accepting the rare occasions you got to see him and spend time with him.

Second and mostly, he was Choi San, of course, things were not usual with him. You already knew that when you started dating him, but he just had this ability to be very convincing and get whatever he wanted. So it was not very difficult for him to get you under his spell when you were already attracted by him.

Keep reading

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woosanniee · 4 years

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1:14AM | a brief inquiry into: impregnation

࿐ : the intense arousal from the possibility of getting pregnant via unprotected sex or impregnating one’s partner.

“fuck, don’t pull out”, moans and grunts fill the room. Your eyes shut tightly as the expression on San’s face changed drastically at your demand, not knowing if it was you that spoke these words or the pleasure that’s taken over you.

“I don’t have a condom on baby”. He hissed, thrusting faster. He is close and the way your body is asking for more, only brought him closer. You nodded in acknowledgment as best as you could, hoping he noticed the movement of your head through the way the rest of your body bounced.

“I want you to come in me”, you yanked him closer with a tug on his hair, and his body on yours warmed you “fill me up pplease”. San felt his dick twitch at your words “how bad do you want it?”, his quick breath fanned over your lips.

“I need it s-so bad”, he found your g-spot and a sudden pull on the back of his head made him groan. “I need your cum in me-”, you cried and he forced his cock particularly hard into you, making your jaw go slack but no sound left you.

“shitt are you su-”, his voice broke before finishing the sentence. You knew he was close by the way he throbbed. The sound of skin meeting skin got mixed with his grunts and the mere thought of him coming in you, with no protection, only made your walls convulse pathetically around him. You took your bottom lip between your teeth, feeling the tightening in your stomach burn and your last thoughts slipped out of your mouth.

“if it’s o-okay”, his hand wrapped around your waist to hold you closer “y-you’ll have it all-”

San barely took the words out and it felt like his validation was the only thing you needed to reach your climax and your body spasmed under him, walls clenching hopelessly and loud cries filling his ears. You held him tightly and came as he kept fucking you through your orgasm to reach his own climax and in a few more quick thrusts, he shot his load into you. Heavy breaths and the slight feeling of overstimulation made your eyes roll back but it’s the first time you’re feeling him like this. His cum got all over you, painting your walls, getting mixed with your own...and the thought drove you hazy.

“You should’ve told me you’re into that”, San panted against your neck “I won’t pull out ever again if you want it like that”.

‹ previous series masterlist next ›

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woosanniee · 4 years

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ateez kinks - all members (s)

compiled list of ateez kinks here woot woot

…

Park Seonghwa

definite kinks

sir/master kink - for sure for sure for sure hands down i am here to spread the dom seonghwa agenda. ahem. mans has a sir/master kink for sure. would call you kitten any day of the week, say stuff like “does kitten like being a needy little mess for sir?”, “kitten, you need to use your words for master” and more. would ask to get you chokers and collars. that’s all. thank you.

breath play (giving) - going along with the chokers, i think seonghwa would be super into a bit of choking here and there as well, esp when he’s feeling hard dom (bc i think he switches between hard and soft dom depending on the occasion and such) yea so breath play yes

finger sucking (giving) - lowkey a size kink/dominance thing for him, i think he’d love to see his fingers filling up your mouth especially if you’re on your knees too it would just turn him on sO much

ice play (giving) - i said it before in my mtl for this and seonghwa was all the way into it and i stand by that. i think he would LOVE ice play especially during a makeout or oral sex, he’s gonna be super into it. seeing chills on your skin and you squirm under him is a big major plus for him and he’s here for it.

maybe kinks

light bondage (giving/receiving) - receiving huh? on dom hwa? yes actually, i think he would be kinda into it bc he would see it as a challenge/competition to get out of it and put you in it instead. he wouldn’t mind cuffing you or tying you to the bed here and there but i think he would have a lot of fun with a “i’ll get out of this bondage and put you in them’ scenario

edging (giving/receiving) - more into giving i think bc of his dom tendencies but i think he wouldn’t be opposed to the occasional edging from you as well. it wouldn’t be something he’d do a TON bc i think he leans more towards soft dom most of the time, but if he’s in a hard dom mood, then hell yea edging

definitely not

definitely not toys. i don’t think seonghwa would enjoy the use of toys in the bedroom, maybe (and i really really mean maybe) he might use a vibrator in public on you but that’s IT. he won’t wanna use toys at all outside of that bc i think he would rather wanna focus on pleasing you without them.

…

other members under the cut

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woosanniee · 4 years

Text

[ateez] S E O N G H W A ⟺ arranged marriage au

ARRANGED AS COLLATERAL BUT YOU FALL FOR HIM ANYWAY (MAFIA AU)

format: one shot

word ct: 1930+

tags: fluff, angst.

• you look stunning.

• absolutely stunning.

• it’s your wedding day and arrangements aside, you’re supposed to be stunning.

• you’re supposed to feel that way too but you hold the short end of the stick today.

• only feeling as stunning as the bittersweet taste in your mouth that’s left after saying the words,

• “I do.”

• now you’re stuck kissing the groom that you’ve only met hours prior,

• sitting solemn in a private vehicle with the looks of him staring back at you,

• a bit coldly you might add.

• “You look stunning tonight.”

* you bite back a sadistic reply.

• “Thank you.” you end up muttering instead.

• the air thickens as the clock strikes midnight.

• your hands sweat over your silk dress and your heart soothes at the silence.

• hoping it would end like that too.

• “I know this isn’t the night you had planned, y/n.”

• you don’t look at the man.

• instead at your playful fingers trying to look for a way out.

• “My father’s sold and dealt many treasures. I, for one, am not an exception.” you bring forth your glare onto his. “It may not be a night I planned but it is a night I’ve expected.”

• he leans forward with his glass rimmed over his fingertips. “I’d like to make it a night you won’t regret either.”

• you let out a callous chortle, eyes rolling back to the outside of the moving vehicle. “I assume you expect a lovely evening in the sheets for a woman you cheapstakingly bought?”

• “Your deduction’s shit.” he replies leaning back with eyes closed shut. “I didn’t buy you, sweetheart. Your father owed me. And it was either his life or yours. But I’m a considerate man and I’ll take the short end of the stick if I have to.”

• you dare to glance back just by his choice of words. “So you married me instead?”

• “You’d rather be dead?”

• Park Seonghwa was a lot of things.

• from a wanted fugitive in many countries,

• a charming bachelor,

• to a boss of many criminals—

• he’s a lot of things the untouchables should never even encounter.

• one of which being you.

• as a prized possession of a lowlife black market ringleader, you had little options in fate.

• for what it had in store for you?

• not anything you can decipher.

• past your mental capability at least.

• you were as good as dead.

• “Why did you even choose to have me?” you ask in the midst of heated dispute. “When you could’ve had any other beautiful woman in the world?”

• “You required no effort.” his lips tilt in the most devious way, shivers sending through your spine down and out. “And with what no effort gives, I’m more than satisfied with I got.”

• you want scream.

• cry.

• fling your arms and legs out side to side.

• this man spoke enough words to drive you insane in the span of minutes.

• what more can a whole lifetime drive?

• Park Seonghwa was a monster,

• a devil in disguise.

• you?

• you were a new wife of one and nothing more.

• “I expect nothing but faith in our current disposition, y/n.” he makes himself clear as he leaves you in a comfortable room. “And if I hear of any sort that you cross that line, mark my words, mercy is the last thing you’ll see from me.”

• you watch him tighten his coat,

• the way the muscles in his back move,

• the curvature of every structure his bone carved.

• a gorgeous man with an ugly pride, that’s for sure.

• “And I expect nothing but the same from you, Park Seonghwa.”

• he smiles.

• forbidden in a way.

• but content.

• and you’re far from that sighing relentlessly succumbing to sleep.

• “I’m leaving for Ulsan later.” he straps his suit not turning towards you on the edge of the bed. “Stay here, y/n. I don’t want you causing trouble.”

• bite me, you want to say.

• fuck you, something along those lines.

• three days later and he comes back home.

• just fucking sleeps.

• while you stare at his flawless and shirtless back.

• he’s driving you insane.

• “I have to go.” he tells you again the next morning. “Have breakfast with Sannie later when you feel like. I’ve set up a time for you to meet with your friends at 6.”

• how courteous, you think.

• at least he has some tenacity as a husband.

• but you hate to admit it, some nights you hated being alone.

• this new feeling of having someone care enough,

• to be with you?

• you ultimately feel lost.

• and maybe just maybe you might miss him a little.

• even if your conversations were revolved around eatin, sleeping, and him leaving all over again.

• “Good morning.”

• you don’t look stunning this morning.

• you don’t feel it either.

• your husband’s not here.

• what about this morning was good, you want to say but end up not opening your mouth at all.

• “Seonghwa asked if you’d want to tag along? To pick him up, that is.” San closes the door to the refrigerator as you sit. “You okay, y/n?”

• “Spectacular.”

• he tilts his head before asking, “Are you not satisfied here? Does being here still make you angry?”

• you shake your head. “No.”

• “Then you don’t want to see Seonghwa?”

• your head whips up and you don’t know why it is.

• why you yearn for him even if you shouldn’t.

• you lightly rub over the ring around your finger, sheepishly looking away when San chuckles at your reaction.

• “We leave at dawn.”

• time feels slow on the way,

• hearing unfinished stories of Seonghwa’s endeavors miles away.

• you get anxious knowing you’ll see him again first.

• you rarely care for the moment what he spent away from you doing.

• just for a moment..

• “Wait here.” San instructs before leaving you behind in the car.

• you perk in your seat behind the tinted glass, hovering your hand over the door when Seonghwa appears.

• you’ve missed him.

• that’s what you feel.

• though you shouldn’t,

• you do.

• even if he’s extravagant in the way he lived,

• he’s arranged to be with you.

• and you the same.

• you take a sharp breath when he opens the door and slides in only slightly glancing at you.

• your heart beats in the silence.

• one. two, you hear it.

• before you openly greet, “How was your trip?”

• his eyes are bloodshot and he only smiles when he leans back. “Exhausting. I’ll have another tomorrow.”

• you’re not allowed to spare a word.

• you shouldn’t but you still do.

• “So soon?”

• he chuckles softly reaching for a drink beside you. “Don’t tell me you’d like for me to stay?”

• “Then I won’t tell you.”

• stubborn prick.

• “I’ve heard you‘ve gotten quite close with San while I’ve been gone.”

• you remember trying to fill the void Seonghwa himself pried opened,

• only to leave you empty most of the time.

• San being there helped a little.

• it was affection you searched for.

• granted, some kind of presence.

• “If you weren’t here, who else would I have spoken to?”

• he huffs softly, eyebrows frowning at your reply. “I thought we agreed to a faithful partnership.”

• you scoff, “You think I was fraternizing?”

• “Whatever you’d like to call it.”

• you glare in his direction. “I suppose you think I believe you haven’t done anything in the time you were gone? You think I’m gonna believe you haven’t at least tried when you’ve gotten nothing out of me.”

• he pricks at his teeth and then there’s silence.

• you hate to admit that he hurts you.

• with just an action.

• and silence used to comfort you.

• why couldn’t he just admit it?

• that you’re nothing but worthless collateral.

• “Be useful instead and give me a massage.” he rubs at his temples attempting to push the topic aside. “My head’s been killing me and my own wife won’t even give me a break.”

• you scoff again.

• but cave only because you care just a little.

• he sinks his head in your lap and you move your fingers against his soft skin.

• it felt right.

• it felt soothing even for you.

• you stare at his close eyelids before finally asking, “What was it you did in Busan?”

• he sighs lack of reaction but answers anyway. “I was monitoring the distribution centers for discrepancies. I’ve gotten word that there was a mole inside and handled it promptly.”

• you feel a weird sensation in the pit of your stomach.

• intimidation?

• relief?

• sympathy?

• “Are you stressed?” you mumble while watching his brows uncrease. “You don’t have to make things difficult for you. I’m sure there could’ve been someone else to take responsibility.”

• you feel him vibrate against your lap,

• his low chuckle heating up that weird sensation in you again.

• “Thank you for your concern, dear, but I’m sure only I’m capable of handling it myself.”

• your fingers graze over his features,

• not feeling intimidated really.

• no, more allured.

• “I don’t know how else to comfort you.” you whisper in the silence being the first to break it. “I’ve never.. I don’t know what to feel. How to act. Even if I’m forced to be your wife, I feel obligated to put even just a little effort.”

• he opens his eyelids and you face him for the first time in a while.

• how it’s different when it’s not his sleeping back.

• the silence isn’t thick, unwavering.

• it felt loose.

• hot.

• you hesitate when you run a hand through his soft tousled hair. “I’ve never been offered an oppurtunity to care. To love before.. this is new to me, Seonghwa. And sometimes I feel things I’ve never felt before.”

• “What do you suppose you are to me?” he asks still soothed by the way you touch him.

• “A wife.”

• “A true wife kisses her husband.” he doesn’t once blink only moving his lips. “She relieves him of his stresses. If you know they exist, why don’t you act on that?”

• your fingers twitch in it’s pause.

• is this a good idea, you ask yourself.

• should you?

• are you allowed to?

• to feel like, “—I want to more than I should.”

• with that, he finally blinks. “So you should come and kiss him then.”

• like a scene out of a movie,

• your back bends to kiss him.

• like a melody in a beautiful song,

• your lips move in rhythm.

• he grunts softly when you pull away but you can only stare at his face.

• “I wear your ring around my finger and I don’t break my promises, y/n. If I say I’ll be faithful, I will.” his hand comes to curl around your cheek. “I’d like you to have some faith in me and I promise I’ll be a good husband to you. As much as I’m able.”

• “I’d never kindle with anybody while you’re away.” you look into his eyes like a puppy to it’s master. “Not when I sleep in your bed. Not while I wear the same ring you do.”

• he pulls your cheek to kiss you again and he stills a beneath you.

• “I may not have made much of an effort to earn you but keeping you, my love? Takes more than that.”

• your fingers roll down to the nape of his neck, rubbing softly at the nodes to feel him when speaks.

• “I told you I didn’t want you to regret this.”

• “Why do you choose to have me anyway?” you dare to ask again while he rubs affectionately at your skin. “The real answer.”

• he traces your features the way you did with his.

• allured in a sense.

• inding you as stunning as he did the day he first laid eyes on you.

• years before this planned arrangement was actually even formed.

• “You’re the only woman who’d be capable of loving me. And the first woman I ever sought stunning enough to be mine.”

a/n: raise your hands if you want this to be a short story LMAO 🖐🏽

@atinybitofau

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woosanniee · 4 years

Text

[ateez] S A N ⟺ enemies to lovers au

TAKE CAUTION WHEN HEATED AKA things get too hot for you two to handle

warnings: may contain implied sexual content.

• “Y/N, GET THE FUCKING DOOR!”

• you roll off your bed finding yourself face flat on the floor.

• a brief minute of regaining consciousness,

• before you’re cursing in your head.

• “I’m gonna kill you Choi San..” you mumble to yourself first, eyes shut in frustration. “DON’T YOU HAVE FUCKING LEGS, YOU ASSHOLE?!”

• let’s just say when life gets desperate,

• you get desperate.

• and rooming with the devil incarnate himself was sadly the only option given to you,

• in terms of desperation...

• you glare at the man behind the door eyes bloodshot and fists clenched,

• the friends of your roommate backing up with terrified expressions as you hiss in their direction,

• a new direction your head turns just to yell, “SAN IT’S YOUR FUCKING FRIENDS!”

• “WELL I’M NOT GONNA WASTE WATER! LET THEM IN!”

• they smile at you in the most apologetic way possible,

• knowing your heart and mind was strewn on hating Choi San.

• but of course you would never just drag innocent lives in the conundrum you’ve been handed.

• “Sorry.” you rub at your eyes. “You can come in. He just got in the shower so you’re more than welcome to make yourselves at home.”

• Yunho rubs at the back of his neck. “Sorry for waking you up, y/n.”

• “It’s fine.” you smile in attempted consolation. “It’s San who should be apologizing. Not you.”

• being awake, you get ready for the day yourself,

• showered after 30 minutes and prepped for work,

• unlike some people who take god knows how long to get ready just to go out with some friends.

• “Hey.”

• your head whips around your shoulder while tugging at the back of your shoe, “What?”

• “I’m not gonna be back till late tonight.” he’s leaning against the doorframe when he says it, subtly looking at your bent down ass with a reminder in mind. “Just a warning, I might bring a girl home.”

• you roll your eyes at him standing up straight, “As long as you keep it away from me and my room, do whoever and whatever the fuck you want.”

• his eyebrow cocks up at you. “Aggressive much? What, woke up on the wrong side of the bed, honey?”

• you flick at his forehead feigning a smile. “You woke me up this morning, honey. Remember?”

• see, you and San’s relationship was TOXIC.

• actually no it was deadly.

• you two just don’t see eye to eye.

• but when you met, on agreement, it was smiles table round.

• claiming this would be good for two people who weren’t willing to pay full expenses on a college student paycheck.

• that living together couldn’t be that bad.

• but day 3 came along and glasses were broken.

• tables, tv’s, doors.

• let’s just say you two can get...

• physical when it comes to being together.

• albeit never sexual for being straight and very much single, the both of you.

• and now it’s been 2 (lacking) wholesome years of it.

• “You sure your roommate won’t mind me coming over?”

• you smile at Seonghwa while kicking off your shoes. “He’s gonna be late tonight anyway. Plus, it’s none of his god damn business.”

• don’t get too excited.

• you and Seonghwa were strictly just friends.

• nothing better than a late night movie date with your hot just friends college mate

• “Wow, you were right.” he chuckles softly. “It does reek of man in here.”

• you join him by the couch once you finish getting comfortable.

• “I don’t know if it’s cause he brings his friends over all the time,” you start while turning the tv on. “Or if he just reeks of overwhelming levels of testosterone.”

• “Isn’t that supposed to be hot?”

• “On any other man, possibly. On Choi San? Unlikely.”

• you two get cozy for just friends.

• his hand on your lap and your head against his chest,

• while you two laugh at stupid romcoms.

• you don’t realize how late it got.

• when San enters the apartment with his one night stand obscenely wrapped around his waist.

• Seonghwa respectively takes his hands off you like he’s been caught red handed,

• but you’re a little less respectful.

• wanting nothing but to strangle the hell out of your roommate.

• “What about being discreet did you not understand, San?”

• where Seonghwa stares,

• San glares.

• because not only did he not like a man he didn’t know in his apartment,

• he didn’t like the looks of him all over you.

• “Who is this?”

• “None of your business.” you sigh taking Seonghwa’s hand and dragging him up with you.

• “Y/N!”

• you ignore his calls for you when you finally get Seonghwa in your room.

• “Maybe I should go..”

• “Seonghwa, I—“

• “No it’s not you.” he chuckles it off laying a soft kiss on the crown of your head. “But privacy is important. And your roommate will only know that if he see’s what it looks like.”

• you’re ready to kill San.

• a remake of the first physical fight you two got in already playing in your head.

• and you don’t hesitate to whip open his door even if he was in the middle of something,

• privacy thrown out the window at this point.

• taking the girls clothes shoving it in her face,

• throwing her out all in the while.

• “Do you ever think about anyone other than yourself, Choi San?”

• San is half naked while pulling up his pants,

• fairly charismatic when he’s full headed angry and abdomen bare in front of you.

• but that’s none of your business right?

• “God, San. One day.” you let out a guttural groan. “One night is all I ask for myself. And you have to literally take it upon yourself to ruin it.”

• he scoffs storming out of his room in hopes of getting away from you,

• taking a hefty drink of water to cool down his hot anger—

• and blue balled hormones.

• “I told you.” he anunciates while facing the floor. “I told you I’ll be coming home late tonight. And with a woman. I’m sorry but I don’t remember you telling me you’d be home in the living room this late. On top of it, with a man I don’t know.”

• you swallow adding an exasperated sigh.

• him now visibly shaking while glowering at you.

• “And don’t say it’s none of my business because as someone who lives here, that is definitely my business, y/n.”

• you follow him not wanting to lose.

• cause you have little to no shame,

• knowing you probably look dumb doing all this..

• “If you get to be with a woman, what’s wrong with me being with a man?”

• “NOTHING!”

• it begins.

• the wrath begins.

• when San starts to pull at his hair, slamming shut the refrigerator making half the building shake with just that.

• “Nothing is wrong with that! God, just tell me. Tell me if you want to fuck someone for christs sake.”

• the first glass breaks.

• “When I don’t want to hear about your horny fiascos, I’d expect you to feel the same.”

• the second glass breaks,

• San always getting the angriest first.

• lividly bubbles when he says, “I’d want to know who comes into my own house, wouldn’t you?”

• the third glass breaks.

• but it’s you when you accidentally hit the jar of salt behind you.

• “YOU LITERALLY— oh my god, San. You bring random women into my apartment like it’s fucking Halloween. And you think you could use that lame excuse? You think you have the audacity to tell ME that?”

• “My apartment. This is my apartment too.” he slams his hand down. “Don’t make this just about you. When I pay—“

• “Half the bills I pay.” you finish for him.

• “When I work—“

• “Just as hard as you do.”

• he’s testing you, you just know it.

• no man would push this hard.

• and maybe it’s hot.

• it’s just hot.

• it has to be hot.

• cause the way you look at San is different this time.

• or stressed?

• maybe you two are just stressed out with each other yeah.

• cause you interrupted his efforts to satisfy his needs.

• and he interrupted yours.

• “Why do you have to fight me every time?”

• his breathing’s heavy and his voice is hushed.

• but he’s too close to you that’s why.

• his body’s too god damn close.

• you’re smart, push him away.

• but you’re so far off the edge and so is he.

• he has to take deep breaths to control himself.

• and so do you.

• “Why do you fight me?”

• “You drive me fucking insane.”

• “Looks like there’s something we both can agree on.”

• his throat bobs and he’s thinking about how dumb he looks.

• staring at you like a full course meal as if he’s on death row.

• you starting to see a different arrangement of events in your head—

• a more theatrical version of your physical fights.

• “Is it just me?” his jaw firms in contorted control. “Or is it really fucking hot in here?”

• “I-It’s hot. It’s really hot.”

• he knows you’re thinking the same thing he’s thinking.

• and he’s gonna assume he’s gonna do what he’s about to do out of stress.

• out of feeling too hot.

• “Yeah right.”

• next thing you know, you’re raked up against the kitchen counter,

• hands clawing into his body while his hands search yours.

• “Fuck you’re so hot.” he grunts while rutting up against you. “You’re so hot when you’re angry, you know that?”

• you lewdly moan against his lips, legs wrapping around his toned waist. “Shut up and have sex with me already you idiot.”

• he lifts you up like a feather—

• ruining you against your bed like dough,

• sucking you up like a lollipop.

• or better yet, you sucking him.

• now you’re in your bed, his body relaxed and cool over you.

• breath fanning against your tortured lips.

• not to mention how his heart races when he’s right here with you.

• “It’s just cause it’s hot right?” he tries to make things clear while moving your damp hair back behind your ear. “We’re doing this cause it’s too hot.”

• you’re love drunk on his heat.

• that this was the mend in your shared anger you two needed.

• that the tension between you two was less of hate,

• more of sex.

• “It’s hot.” you smile against his lips. “You’re hot. Let’s do it again?”

• you’re certain this time it’s not cause it’s hot.

• no you’re doing this cause you like it.

• not in a million years would you ever say you like Choi San.

• but the possibility very likely considering the circumstances..

• “SAN GET THE FUCKING DOOR!”

• his friends feel like they’ve entered another dimension.

• that San never answers the door.

• surprised to see him looking less stressed than ever.

• wearing a hoodie on a hot summer’s day.

• “Dude it’s like 800 degrees outside.” Yunho’s eyebrows furrow. “Aren’t you hot?”

• San smirks to himself.

• “Not at all.”

• “Where’s the wicked witch of the—“

• “Right here.” you stick you’re hand out from the couch where a bundle of blankets were left. “What were you saying about a witch?”

• Yunho’s eyes widen in horror.

• looking around the apartment of yours that seemed out of reality,

• out of this world.

• “I’m sorry but am I missing something here?”

• “Oh I forgot to tell you..” San rubs at the nape of his neck. “Y/N and I are dating.”

• his friends definitely think they walked into the wrong apartment.

• barked up the wrong tree.

• the wrong mountain?

• that mountain being Choi San.

• “You’re.. dating y/n.” Wooyoung looks back at you who’s back over at the couch. “Your roommate that you hate to death. What the hell did you two do? Call a couple’s therapist?!”

• San walks over to you grabbing your chin to place a feverish kiss against your lips in front of his friends.

• his friends gawking at the sight of you—

• how perfectly calm for the first time in your life you were around their always boisterous best friend,

• your roommate that you hated to death.

• “A technician. Turns out our air conditioner just wasn’t working. Isn’t that right, honey?”

@atinybitofau

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woosanniee · 4 years

Text

S A N ↱ arranged marriage au

WHEN HE’S TOO (drunk) MUCH

a/n: may contain alcoholism past/present

• you didn’t understand why San neglected you.

• you fell in love with him.

• just like any girl would.

• cause who wouldn’t?

• he was strong.

• persistent.

• ambitious.

• the epitome of perfect.

• so was it because you didn’t meet his standards for a woman?

• that he’s too much for you.

• that you’re nothing more than just a business contract.

• “You’ve been in the clouds all day, Mrs. Choi.”

• “Y/n.” you mumble, pen signing your signature in your hand. “Please.. address me as so.”

• as a descendant of a successful line of entrepreneurs.

• it’s no surprise you owned 50+ coffee shops in the country and some international.

• known to be a silent woman.

• hiding in the shadows of your predecessors.

• and notoriously known as Choi San’s wife.

• — a man of many wonders and an A class entrepreneur of his own.

• you’re a woman everyone wanted to be.

• a woman everyone wanted too.

• “Will you be joining Mr. Park to Japan this weekend? You still haven’t confirmed if you’d be joining him. On his retreat.”

• you unknowingly glance at the picture frame of you and your arranged husband.

• wanting leisure from your deprived love life so bad.

• though the idea of spending time with another man sounded sinless.

• considering the circumstances...

• “It’s your anniversary with Mr. Choi this Saturday, is it not?”

• you turn the frame face front on your table, smiling softly at your assistant. “I’m sure he wouldn’t remember anyway.”

• now you’re at home packing.

• not surprised that San hasn’t came home yet.

• in the two— no three years that you two have been married,

• it seems he sometimes forgets this was his home.

• “Yes. That sounds splendid. Of course, I will be there. Wouldn’t miss it for the world. And to you too, Mr. Kang.”

• you hear him on the phone when he comes home.

• surprised that he actually did for the first time in a week.

• you don’t say anything when he enters your shared room.

• him not minding at all that you were packing.

• “Business trip?” he asks you seeming uninterested.

• and it does hurt.

• that your own husband never seemed interested in you.

• that though you’ve fallen in love with him despite the arrangement,

• he’s never fallen in love with you.

• “Um..” you choke on your breath. “More or less.”

• he hums in response while removing his tie. “I’ll be flying to Jeju sunday morning to meet with Yeosang. So I’ll be home all of saturday. That okay?”

• you don’t see why he’s asking for confirmation.

• he’d do it anyway without one.

• “O-okay.”

• he watches you from the corner of his eyes.

• wondering why you’ve never felt detested by the relationship in spite of your shyness.

• for someone like him,

• he thinks you two are an odd couple.

• that you two would have never been one if not for the marriage contract.

• but three years has taught him better

• “And where will you be going?”

• you sniffle while zipping you’re bags, letting loose your messily tied up hair. “Japan. I’ll be meeting with a... an investor.”

• it’s not entirely a lie.

• just..

• you won’t be meeting the investor in terms of business.

• “For how long will this be for?”

• you mentally think, why was he getting curious?

• he’s never once cared.

• if it doesn’t matter to him, he shouldn’t even ask.

• “The weekend. If things go well, I should be home by Sunday.”

• he doesn’t know why.

• why it hurt him that you forgot.

• that he didn’t intend to do much this Saturday but stay home and eat dinner with you.

• maybe talk about work and relieve some stress.

• but he’d think by now you’d appreciate the anniversary.

• that he’d mean just as much as you do to him.

• “Sunday?”

• you don’t notice the hidden annoyance.

• thinking, talking to him was like talking to a wall.

• “Seonghwa doesn’t want to stay for less than a day. And well, since my schedule seems free and no appointments have been made, I made some time for him.”

• you speak to your husband like a business woman.

• how fucking senile, right?

• how honorable you two are.

• how much pride you think San has over you.

• just two people in a marriage contract.

• nothing less and nothing more.

• but San’s overwrought though.

• the hints of displeasure from you sensible in his tone.

• “Seonghwa? Park Seonghwa?”

• his mind blurs.

• crazed in a frenzy.

• at the sound of another man in place of him.

• “He’s invited me to his Japan retreat.”

• you look at San for the first time in a long time.

• and you think there was something different about him.

• his hair looked the same.

• his god like features were still in tact.

• was it his lips?

• his eyebrows?

• oh...

• OH.

• “You are aware of our own affairs this Saturday, correct?”

• you think he’s crazy.

• that he can’t pin you down.

• for not even caring for the past two— no three years.

• he had no right to ask you if you were aware.

• especially on a day he’s never celebrated with you before.

• “San, I think you’re the one unaware of our affairs this Saturday. Seeming as though you tend to forget for every year that’s passed, don’t you think you’re being too much?”

• his jaw clenches.

• eyes blinking,

• getting dizzy and filled with rage.

• — jealousy and betrayal.

• how could you think of another man?

• when he was always right in front of you!

• “I-I never forget!”

• you’re flabbergasted.

• completely disbelieved.

• “You never forget? The first, spending it with another woman. And the second with your friends in Bali? You never forget?”

• his jaw clenches and he’s in denial.

• in denial that he neglected you.

• he doesn’t feel like he did.

• “I called you. The day of and—“

• the way your lips frown makes him uneasy.

• unsettled that he’s made you so unhappy.

• he didn’t even realize...

• that he was too much.

• and not enough at the same time.

• “Then I don’t think me calling you would be much of a difference.”

• you blink away refraining from tears.

• starting to believe this arrangement meant more to him than you inititially thought.

• that fact actually hurting you more than when you thought he didn’t care.

• cause now that you know he did,

• why did he neglect you all these years?

• “I don’t know, Seonghwa... do you think I should go home?”

• Japan was fun.

• Seonghwa making your day nice and all.

• but you hated knowing San might be home.

• alone with his stresses.

• his questionable decisions that often made him resort to the unnecessaries.

• only knowing that as his wife.

• when as his wife, regardless of what happens,

• it’s your duty to cherish him as your husband.

• “You love him even though you think he doesn’t love you?”

• you sadly smile, lips buried in a scarf San gave you last christmas.

• “He might be a lousy husband. But he’s still mine.”

• Seonghwa found you admirable.

• never understood why San didn’t.

• “San may as well be the luckiest man on the planet. The dumbest one too.”

• you miss San.

• even though he was rarely there.

• you appreciated the things he gave you.

• like being your husband even though he sucks at it.

• “It’s still pretty early in SK. You might be able to make it before midnight if you leave for the airport now.”

• you look at Seonghwa with dreamy eyes.

• thinking if you hadn’t been so strung on San falling in love with you,

• you would’ve dared him to.

• “Go. And make sure he makes up for being the lousy husband he’s been.” Seonghwa kisses you on the forehead before taking your hand. “As successful as he is, adapting to loving you can’t be too difficult. Not something he isn’t capable of, don’t you agree?”

• you’re racing against time.

• three minutes away from your penthouse.

• ten minutes away from Sunday.

• your mind’s made up.

• guilty for being ungrateful.

• timid about being his wife.

• San insisted he stopped smoking months ago.

• but the copious amount of musk in the apartment was uncanny.

• you see empty bottles of liquor stranded on the floor.

• music at full volume.

• his figure staring out the balcony quiet and lonely.

• it’s not all his fault.

• because you sometimes forget,

• San used to come home to you.

• “Cheers to your wedding anniversary, San.” you hear him sigh. lit cigarette falling at his feet. “To the one failure you couldn’t afford.”

• you smile in small font.

• suddenly wrapping your scarf around his waist, pulling him into you.

• “Y-y/n?”

• he was drunk, you mentally note.

• whipping him around.

• still dreamy eyed regardless.

• “What are you.. I thought you’d still be in Japan?”

• “And I thought you’d be out with friends.” you mumble hoping he’d react sober. “Didn’t we agree on no smoking in the house?”

• “Stopped.” he answers breathless, weirdly looking sober while staring down at you. “I stopped, remember? Started today because.. because I didn’t have you.”

• “S-san you’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

• you think his hands are filthy.

• from doing the things he used to do before meeting you.

• but you let him hold you.

• his trembling disappearing when he does.

• you curl against his palm and softly smile.

• “I haven’t.. I haven’t been good to you, have I?”

• you place your fingers over his and hum. “Well I can’t blame you for doing what you’re only capable of.”

• “I am capable! I am capable of loving you. I am..”

• you want to giggle.

• because you used to hate drunk San.

• when he’d come home gurgling.

• babbling like a baby.

• “You’re drunk, San.”

• “Y-you think so?”

• you wonder how drunk San really is.

• drunk words speaking sober thoughts, you know.

• but was he hammered enough to kiss you?

• “San, do you want to kiss me?”

• your husband pouts.

• eyes saying yes.

• waiting for you to do it.

• “Well?”

• “I-is it okay?”

• “San, I’m your wife. You don’t need my permission, dummy.”

• he’s not drunk.

• not drunk enough.

• wanted to kiss you sober.

• wants to kiss you now.

• “I don’t want.. don’t you to hate me, y/n. Don’t want you to think I’m too much.”

• so you lean up and press a kiss onto his potted lips.

• his eyes processing slow.

• “Do you think I’m too much?”

• you chuckle, nodding softly. “Yes San. I do think you’re too much.”

• “B-but you still love me, right? When I’m not there. And you like being my wife?”

• of course you do.

• I mean, through thick, it might have been difficult to.

• but you still do.

• “I didn’t sign the contract for just business, San. I wanted to love you, you know? Wanted you to love me.”

• he doesn’t need to think twice,

• about why people fall in love with you.

• about why he’s fallen in love with you.

• “Can we start over? As husband and wife. T-tomorrow when I’m sober. Can you come with me to Jeju?”

• you don’t need to think twice either.

• your schedule’s usually free.

• but you agree because it’s San who asks you.

• it’s San who wants you to make the time.

• “Let’s start tonight. By you taking a shower and sleeping beside me? You think you can do that for me, San?”

• his eyes say yes.

• and so does his lips.

• kissing you through his intoxication.

• knowing he’s capable of loving you.

• drunk or sober.

• “For the record, I like being your husband too.”

@atinybitofau

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