wordsbysaraa
Sara Parab
Sara | she/her | 18// books and poetries 🫧
instagram :- @wordsbysaraa🖇
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you grew up wanting to be 'chosen'-be it in friendships, family, or silly crushes. you wished to be understood, hoping it wouldn't be so challenging for you. tired, you developed your own coping mechanisms, with isolation being the worst. you took a step back, removing yourself from any situation that even remotely hinted at causing hurt. you made them forget you, let alone choose you.
but then, years later, as an adult, you realized that none of it was anybody's fault. you desired affection, just like any other human on this planet, and didn't receive it, much like many others in different circumstances. and that's okay. ask anybody with a slightly broken heart - it always takes one silly coping mechanism for somebody to get to know themselves, mostly for the better.
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you grew up wanting to be 'chosen'- be it in friendships, family, or silly crushes. you wished to be understood, hoping it wouldn't be so challenging for you. tired, you developed your own coping mechanisms, with isolation being the worst. you took a step back, removing yourself from any situation that even remotely hinted at causing hurt. you made them forget you, let alone choose you.
but then, years later, as an adult, you realized that none of it was anybody's fault. you desired affection, just like any other human on this planet, and didn't receive it, much like many others in different circumstances. and that's okay. ask anybody with a slightly broken heart - it always takes one silly coping mechanism for somebody to get to know themselves, mostly for the better.
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I guess Beth was right when he said it to Jo —
"i used to think i couldn't let you go, but i'm learning to feel that i don't lose you, that you'll be more to me than ever, and death can't part us, though it seems to."
@wordsbysaraa
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as i grew older, i learned that the key to surviving the day is not positivity, it's acceptance. accepting that not all days are good and happy, you will have bad days, you make mistakes, you fail, you mess up, everythings not going to fall into place and thats okay.
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The language of flowers and silent things.
Charles Baudelaire, from Elevation; Fleurs du Mal (tr. by William Aggeler), 1857
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Love is a teacher, but one ... must know how to acquire it, for it is difficult to acquire, it is dearly bought, by long work over a long time, for one ought to love not for a chance moment but for all time.Anyone, even a wicked man, can love by chance.
-Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothe Karamazov
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I exist. In thousands of agonies-l exist. I'm tortured on the rack-but I exist! Although I sit alone-l exist! I see the sun, and if I don't see the sun, I know it's there. And there's a whole life in that, in knowing that the sun is there."
-Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
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Until the stars burn out and all worlds end until the planets collide and the suns wither until the moon's light dies and the rivers and seas run out until I grow so old that my memories fade away and my tongue cannot say your name until my heart beats for the last time, only then perhaps, i would stop loving you.
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When you lose an emotional attachment to someone, you realize how ordinary they are. it's your love and your energy that makes people seem so special.
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life works out. i cannot stress this enough. life always works out. it always turns out in your favor even if it doesn't go according to the original plan. you may be utterly confused and lost right now, it may feel like everything is falling apart and there is nothing you can do to salvage any of it. but believe me when i say that this is just a transition period. things are constantly changing and evolving around you even if you can't actively see that. life is changing you to prepare you for what is to come. you are growing and as you grow you are being built into the person that you are going to be. because see, life always has this funny way of working out.
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You don't know what it means to be loved by someone who's tired, someone that despite their inner bitterness, they try to love you with all the sweetness in the world and despite all of the chaos that lives within them, they tidy themselves up for you.
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Life is too short for loose ends, for feelings that were never acted upon, gestures that were never taken. So take the damn chance. Get on the plane, send that person a message, learn that instrument, hug your parents, tell your best friends that you love them, drive all night to see someone in the morning. I don't care if it makes you vulnerable, if it exposes you. Open the hell up. Let life fill you with hurt, with happiness; let it weather you, let it teach you. Let it inspire you, let it break you down and build you up. You are here to risk your heart. Please don't ever forget that. Please don't ever forget that love is always the answer.
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