worldbetweenworlds

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Friend Zoning vs Unrequited Love: Traditionalism and Romantic Claptrap (PART TWO)

So this is what it was supposed to be. I had forgotten.

One has expectation, the other is the lack of expectation. One puts the onus on the object of affection; the other acknowledges the affection is not to be shared because it is only their own creation.

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Hi babes. I still exist, I promise. Find me as blus0k or rozbot on twitter. <3

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This photo makes me smile so much

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#the universe gave its blessing that is the only reason #get in sisters we’re going usurping

George Miller talks about the stunt work of the Polecats in Mad Max: Fury Road.

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I'm baaaaack.

I've missed you.

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[ cloud overview ] [ get your own cloud ] This is a Tumblr Cloud I generated from my blog posts between Jul 2008 and Nov 2013 containing my top 20 used words. Top 5 blogs I reblogged the most:

brokenmachine

life

lipsyourloversleave

mrgolightly

emhaetsengrish

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Hey tumblr. I'm drunk. Let's do this.

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The dust of Stars.

You will never be as large or as small in the universe as you are at the exact moments just before and after your birth. You are both, in those moments, the most and least important being to exist. In you there is potential that is beyond imagining, beyond words. In you there is disappointment beyond measure waiting to fall on your unready head and your fragile shoulders.

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Friend Zoning vs Unrequited Love pt 1: Shame and Control

Friend zone. Over the past ten years or so, I’ve noticed this term become prevalent in the vocabulary of society. For those who may not know, the “friend zone” is what happens when you are friends with someone you are attracted to and want to go out on dates with/form a tentative relationship with/etc.

This name is a misnomer. If you have a crush, i.e., are attracted to someone with the end goal of forming a relationship, you are already not friends with them. You cannot do both. You are not a good friend if the reason you are nice is to (eventually, even if you may be unaware at the time) get into their pants. It just doesn’t work. You can be friends and date, you can be friends and be in love, you can be friends and be married. You just cannot with a crush. Here is why. All the parts of you that make you a good friend, those qualities and traits that made you loved by all your friends? All of that is funneled into making your crush want you. When there is an endgame like that, the methodology is different and you might not necessarily be behaving as exactly like yourself because the goal is for the crush to like the crushee so therefore the crushee must become more likeable  and therefore changes themself (and this opens an entirely other can of worms so we will save this debate for another time).

To say that you have been put into the “friend zone” gives the person that you like authority over your actions, which is completely and totally illogical, not to mention incorrect. Someone has no control over whether you are attracted to them/have a crush on them or not. Sometimes, there will be people who exploit those that have a crush on them, but that only works if they know there is a crush in the works or not.

By using the term “friend zone,” you are shaming the person you like into believing that it is not your fault they don’t like you back but their own which is giving them more control over you than you might actually want to give. It is completely unacceptable to use the term friend zone because of these reasons, but mostly because of the aspect of shame. Shaming someone because they do not like you is wrong and cruel. A person cannot help who they love or do not love and to suggest otherwise means that you are trying to revoke their ability to make choices for themselves and fall in love with whomever they choose to.

It is inexcusable for someone to revoke the agency of others in this way. I propose that we slowly wean out the use of the phrase “friend zone” and all of it’s derivatives that related to someone who has a crush on another person being treated by a friend by this other person. There is a much better term for that: Unrequited Love.

NEXT TIME: We’ll get down to business with what (and what isn’t) Unrequited Love. See you soon!

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do u ever get so torn between being productive or doing something fun that they cancel each other out and you wind up just sitting on your ass

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Worst feelings in the world

Failing a test you studied really hard for

Getting replaced in a friendship

Getting ignored 

Having something that you’re looking forward to, get cancelled

Having to fight back tears in front of people

Finding out that the person you like, likes someone else

Goodbyes

Showing your parents something you’re proud of only to get a disinterested reply

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some people think life is like a roller coaster but my life is more like one of those rides that spin really fast so you’re pinned to the wall and can’t do anything about it

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I haven't been 12 for 13 years, 2 months and 2 days.

okay seriously reblog if you're older than 12

COME ON PEOPLE, THERE HAS GOT TO BE MORE. 

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I don't know how to fix it, so I'm going to ask for help.

Dear tumblr, please help me figure out how to successfully move my things from one place to another without spending a full day over it.

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My friend Megan was sexually assaulted at a 24 Hour Fitness by a staff member and on camera. Instead of firing the staff member, corporate intimidated her into not pursuing legal action and terminated her fully paid membership without her consent. This staff member still works at the 24 Hour Fitness located on Cass Street of Omaha, Nebraska. What Megan wants is for this employee to be fired as a result of his behavior, for her paid membership to be reinstated, and for sexual harassment policies to be posted publicly in 24 Hour Fitness locations.  By choosing not to punish this employee for his behavior, they are enabling him and providing him opportunities to do the same to another woman again. By choosing not to punish this employee, 24 Hour Fitness is expressing that they have no regard for the safety and well being of their patrons. And that’s bullshit if you ask me. (Please signal boost.)

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Die on Teen Wolf!

Have you auditioned to die on our show yet? What are you waiting for?? http://t.co/IZMErtDvfF

— TEEN WOLF (@MTVteenwolf) October 4, 2013