would-i-eat-that

[would-i-eat-that]

If this were real I would tear it up, raw. I might also enjoy it with some kind of sauce, but I wouldn't be courteous enough to eat it like a proper food, I would simply open my mouth and it would be gone. 9/10 would eat

Cindy Wright, "Bacon Cube 3, 2005,

Oil on canvas,

78¾ h × 76¾ w in (200 × 195 cm)

[would-i-eat-that]

I would eat this shit so quick its existence would be erased across all timelines. I would eat it so quick people would forget it was there, get up from the table confused, and go about their day. I would open my mouth and it would blink into nothingness I would glance at it and rub my hands together like a cartoon villain and it would simply cease, across all iterations of time and space. 9/10 would eat

[would-i-eat-that]

I'm already apprehensive about eating things with eyes on them, and that's at least 100 eyes, maybe more. I could eat a couple fish individually, but with them all fried together into some kind of horrible biblically accurate angel made of dead fish, it's just a little too much. Also I don't understand the purpose of the single egg, and I already don't really like eggs. It's not that it wouldn't be good, I've actually always wanted to eat a fish like that (ONE fish) it's just that with them all spread out like that, I can stare into the eyes of my meal and feel the soul of each sardine enter me one by one. And that's too much to handle. 3/10 would not eat

Crispy Small Fish Fry Topped with Colorful Vegetables and Spices

[would-i-eat-that]

I don't think I could eat them. I'm sure being alive and sapient only makes them more delicious, but I would have to use them all at once or else the rest would kill me. I have no use for nine whole onions if I can't use them 1-2 at a time. They would tear me limb from limb, they're "fantastic", I can't possibly compete with that and expect to survive. But maybe a few of those beers would numb my senses and make my final meal worth it, I can't say for certain. 5/10 would not eat

"hey man im grabbing a beer do you want anything"

"yeahh can you grab me one of the fantastic onion brothers"

[would-i-eat-that]

Unparalleled rush. The high I get from suckin' sludge is far greater than anything else I have ever experienced in my lifetime. I will look my newborn in the eye and see myself in them, and I will still be thinking about my sludge, when I can "sludge up" next, where I'm going to do it, etc. 8/10 would eat

[would-i-eat-that]

I forgot to share several months ago when I ate a whole banana with the peel on. I ate everything except the stem because I thought it would be dangerous. To give you a more specific timeframe, I said I would do it if Jake Paul beat Mike Tyson in that boxing match. Imagine my shock. 5/10 would not eat

[would-i-eat-that]

Cities would burn. I have to stay away from this for the greater good, but I won't hide from my real feelings. 10/10 would eat

(via Instagram)

[would-i-eat-that]

I would commit unspeakable acts to get my hands on this, and I would finish it in seconds and find myself in incredible pain.

If anyone reached for a single tot I would bite them hard and only let go when my venom leaves them convulsing on the ground, not unlike a vicious snake. I would imagine a delicacy such as this is only conjured once every thousand years and I am prepared to sacrifice my humanity for that opportunity. 10/10 would eat

(via Instagram)

[would-i-eat-that]

Would I eat it? I'd probably try some, but I don't think it would blow my mind. However, let's say a certain lactose intolerant person forgets to pay me back the five hundred dollars I loaned them... 8/10 would eat

(via Instagram)

[would-i-eat-that]

My first time sharing something of my own creation. Chocolate covered garlic. There were three, and I have since eaten two. The first wasn't half bad, but the second one was painful enough to bring tears to my eyes. If I were to do this again in the future I would either do something to weaken the garlic first or finely chop it and spread it throughout an entire bar. 5/10 would eat

[would-i-eat-that]

I would eat all of these burgers, but I would not eat them in polite company, due to their mature rating. I can only assume that the burgers might use nasty words such as "stupid" or "balls" and I wouldn't want to subject the people I love to something so heinous. 7/10 would eat

[would-i-eat-that]

I think the snake thing would be okay, just a bit too dry and sweet to really enjoy. The rabbit looks like it's made of the same material but more, which I really don't like minus the candy bits, and the horrible glistening worms look like either sausages or really wet pastries, and I don't trust those odds. 4/10 would not eat

EDIBLE POKÉMON FROM AN OLD JAPANESE MAGAZINE

[would-i-eat-that]

Why must so many things be shaped like food? I have bitten into countless painted rocks and decorative foam fruits. I went without food for two whole weeks because I wouldn't stop trying to eat the same plastic toy banana, day in and day out, no sleep, just gnawing on plastic. 1/10 would not eat

[would-i-eat-that]

Apologies for not updating in ten days. I tried to order Chick-fil-A but they thought I looked a little gay, so I have been in chicken jail. They let me out when I showed them pictures of my collection of cool monster trucks and plastic dinosaurs. They only fed us their patented Chick-fil-A Chicken Gruel™ which was a surprisingly pleasant experience. 7/10 would eat

[would-i-eat-that]

I would eat this thing because I don't like how he's lookin' at me. It's like he's about to ask me if I have games on my phone, and I'm not in the headspace for that right now. Also I would imagine those drumsticks would be so juicy and good. 9/10 would eat

Perched velociraptor

[would-i-eat-that]

I would swallow this thing whole like a bird, while staring someone dead in the eye. If I were sufficiently inebriated I would lunge at a man's jugular for a mere lick of a sandwich of this caliber. 10/10 would eat

More weird food stuffs. Ignore the plasti-cheese. This is meant to be roast beef. Bro is still mooin’.

[would-i-eat-that]

I did not realize that I'd been gone almost a week. I never should have eaten that cursed jewel... Regardless of its powerful allure and the angelic voices calling out to me to lick its lustrous, verdant exterior. Foolish of me. 5/10 would not eat