writeitinsharpie

[writeitinsharpie]

[writeitinsharpie]

[writeitinsharpie]

My latest cartoon for New Scientist

[writeitinsharpie]

You will come to Chicago prime and you will like it

[writeitinsharpie]

“Masculinity is always rewarded in girls/vagina holders”

I wanna tell you all about my mom. I know this is a sentence used against transmascs, and im a trans man, so I wanna use my voice to tell you about my mom.

My mom is a cis woman, a gender nonconforming woman. (I had to teach her gnc recently actually, because she couldn’t find a term that she felt accurate.)

My mom has always hung out with mostly guys, she can fix cars, we half-joke (because its true) that every time she breaks up with a man they steal her toolbox (they do). We’re going to negate her current relationship because my stepdad is a feminist who adores her, but not all of her exes where like that.

My mom has faced SO MUCH misogyny over her clothing, her makeup, her hobbies. When she was building her tiny model car, her ex would drunkly rant how thats a “boys hobby” and “she shouldn’t be doing that”. Her and my dad used to renovate houses when they were married, Dad would plaster, and mom would plaster alongside him. While also fixing doors and windows, and floors, and ceilings, and painting the damn thing. When she goes to autoparts stores, or car lots, they always talk to her like shes stupid. Recently shes been bringing her husband, so the associate will ramble his ear off, and when theyre finally done, her husband turns to her and goes “babe I don’t know a thing hes talking about, what do you suggest?” because theyre both just so pissed off about it.

Don’t get me wrong, my moms for the girls too! She’ll give her enemy a tampon type of person. But the girls turn their backs on her, quite frequently. Mom used to have a friend, a male friend, who would go to the bar with her. I knew him well. They’re not friends anymore because he used her hobbies and interests to try to sleep with her. He would always try to change her too. Mom likes cooking, so he would try to push her away from things like watching fantasy TV (he thought that was a more ‘male’ genre) or fixing up the house for things like cooking and cleaning.

And so when I came out as trans, it was a really hard time for my mom. She understands now, and shes a HUGE HUGE ally and advocate for me, and I couldn’t fathom having a more supportive mother, but she was really confused. Mom was worried I wanted to transition because the misogyny gnc/masculine women face. I didn’t shave, I liked playing with knives and multitools, when I did makeup it was always more Kiss/Marilyn Manson style, when my sisters did a Marilyn Monroe.

I remember her driving us home from the clothing shop I came out to her in, and the talk we had. She asked me if I was confused, and I said I was sure. She said that I could just be a tomboy, like her. That it didn’t matter what everyone else said about being a masculine woman. Having talked later as adults, she thought I thought the only option for the type of masculinity I have was to be a man. She was so scared for me and my safety because of how punished masculinity is in women.

So now, as I’m 23, and its 2025, Mom is still the gender nonconforming woman she always has been. Mom taught me how to fish, how to use a hatchet, knife safety, and how to cook and sew. I’m a man who picks up heavy things for her now that shes too disabled too, who wears makeup and nail polish with my denim cutoffs and binder, who still has to call my mommy when I can’t get this screw to screw in right mom, I dont know your tips and tricks.

And masculine women can exist alongside trans men. My mom goes to my hormone appointments with me to make sure these doctors are listening to me, she yells at me when I take my shots late, she picks up my hormones if I’m at work. Mom takes me to Pride every year, and god rest the soul of any transphobes that cross my mothers path. My moms for the girls and the gays, the he’s and the they’s, the its and the lesbians and everyone between. Mom will fix you dinner and your car, and we give her gifts on fathers day too because she was Mom and Dad growing up.

So no. Masculinity isn’t always rewarded in female-presenting people or people with vaginas. My very cis mother could tell you that much.

[writeitinsharpie]

Since everyone loved my IT girl story I thought I should update you guys on some of the more charming "people don't expect me to be in this position" experiences I've had so far:

Multiple men in other departments have asked if I'm a new bartender or HR hire. Followed by them looking incredibly embarrassed when I say I'm in IT.

Multiple women in other departments treat me like I'm the single coolest person on the planet simply for existing . Several already request me specifically for help despite not even being here for a month yet. I'm a hit with the ladies.

Had a very anxious caller say "Thanks, bro. Ma'am. I MEAN THANK YOU MA'AM" as we ended our convo.

Older employees especially love me. Even if they're usually "difficult" with my (very sweet) coworkers.

Maintenance guy was about to make a poop joke to one of my coworkers and stopped himself. "I can't say that nasty shit, dude...there's a lady in here"!

Boss was discussing setting up a very heavy (100-ish lbs) piece of equipment with me. My lead interrupted him to point out that I can't physically lift that. Boss was visibly confused for a solid 10 seconds before going "...Oh!" (All of my male colleagues, including him, are built like brick shithouses)

We fist bump around here. Was helped to my feet after servicing a machine with a facilities worker. And then he proceeded to give me the gentlest butterfly-kiss of a fist bump I've ever received in my life.

Colleauge meanwhile gave me such a mighty fist bump it physically pushed me back in my chair and then looked like he was going to die of shame immediately after (didnt even hurt lol)

In general, the blue collar workers treat me like a princess made of glass. This includes the single butch lesbian on premises that is even shorter and smaller built than I am.

I started using heart emojis in our teams chat and now all of the IT guys are doing it too.

Security guard clocked me as a lesbian based on my corporate goth vibe alone.

Lead (who is 6'5) has "lost" me standing next to him more than once.

[writeitinsharpie]

"Yeah, never worn. No, nothing happened to the baby. Well so what if it sounds ominous? We bought two pairs of shoes for the baby and got another two from the baby shower, and honestly, there's not much of a reason for a baby to be wearing shoes. Well I mean she's either in the stroller, in the bassinet, or being carried by someone, she's not being put down on the floor. I'm saying that nothing happened to the baby. The baby is fine, she's just a toddler now, the shoes wouldn't fit her. I don't think you can do that, just ask people if their baby died. No, it wasn't a miscarriage. Look, are you interested in buying the shoes or not? I'm sorry that 'never worn' filled you with a sense of melancholy, but that's really not anything to do with me."

[writeitinsharpie]

crossposting from bsky - glad I stopped using spotify when I did and that I unlinked it from my discord, but still

[ reddit thread | bsky post ]

[writeitinsharpie]

[writeitinsharpie]

My therapist, who specializes in adults with ADHD, recently told me that all of her clients need a three day crashout period after a big life change. Finish the semester? Crashout. Change jobs? Crashout. Go on a really cool, really relaxing vacation? Crashout the moment you get home.

It's true of literally all of her clients. She works with a lot of them to put systems in place so that their crashouts are only three days. This includes the high-powered execs who travel regularly for work. It does not matter how successful or high functioning they are - they have ADHD, and a crashout is just part of the process of living with it.

I'm sharing this with all you ADHD friends out there, just in case you (like me) start shaming yourself if your crashout lasts more than one day. It turns out three days is kind of the best case scenario. Be kind to yourselves!

[writeitinsharpie]

I think this has been posted on here before but this one always makes me laugh

[writeitinsharpie]

[writeitinsharpie]

Calling it, this is the fucking Information Age Collapse. Bronze Age Collapse 2.0. We have three or so generations of this shit while everything slowly breaks and then in 1k years archaeologists will be unearthing hard drives and cursing us for putting all our information in such shitty, easily degraded media instead of etching it into metal and stone like a sensible civilisation.

[writeitinsharpie]

"Getting into this hobby is actually super cheap and easy!!!! First, start with a section of land and a house that you own and can mess up at your discretion"

[writeitinsharpie]

I think when you correctly identify a trauma that is the base of a woe of yours it should just disappear. It should be like "aaahh. you got me" and vanish and leave 100 dollars behind