writekin

[writekin]

untitled

"R, this idea is freakin' crazy," He hissed into his phone. "You should see the amount of people here, someone's bound to recognize me." "This isn't about you, D. It's about him. You know that. We need to make sure he's on our side. God knows what he's been doing all these years." Sighed the voice on the other end. Dave Strider shifted uncomfortably in the hot, packed room. There was chatter all around him. A few people snuck suspicious glances at him, though luckily, none looked like they worked for the empress. None had that glazed-over look that indicated that they were under her control. "Christ, I know. I know. I just can't believe intel would say that there's even a slight chance that he'd be on her side. He's always known what's right." He muttered into the phone. More looks his way. He swallowed nervously. The lights in the room started to dim. Dave looked up and sighed. "Listen, R. I gotta go. The show's about to start. I'll update you afterwards." "Okay. Good luck, D. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." "Right, and you're so full of great ideas." Dave snorted. "Goodbye, D." Click. He was on his own now. He put the phone into his pocket, and looked up to the stage. A stagehand walked up and put down a stool, a microphone stand and a few bottles of water. Then, he walked off. A few people enthusiastically applauded him. Dave rolled his eyes. But then his heart started beating rapidly. This was it. Any moment now, he'd come out. It's been years, I wonder how much he's changed. Then he walked out. His shirt wrinkled in a few places, a blue striped bowtie around his neck, sleeves rolled up. Jeans. White socks and loafers. That dark, messy hair, forever sticking up in about a hundred places. Blue eyes (definitely color contacts, they were so blue) long eyelashes and rectangle frame glasses. That awful overbite. Such familiar details from so far away. He walked up to the microphone, tapped it to see if it worked, then picked it up. "Good evening New York. I'm sure you all know what you're here for. If you're here for the male stripclub, you're in the wrong place. You'll wanna go a few blocks east of here. It's called the Bear Cave. I hear they have great cocktail wieners there." Pause for effect. Laughter rang through the room. "Yeah... I've been to a couple male stripclubs before. Don't you hate when you get there and they're already requesting you to dance?" A couple groans and giggles. "Joking. If anyone wanted to see a jelly roll on stage, they could go back in time 70 years. It's okay, you can boo me." He grinned at the audience's reaction. "Anyways, I'm John Egbert. You've all heard of my awful jokes. And if you haven't, you just got a taste of the entree. If you want to leave, go right ahead." Nobody moved. "Shit, who's paying you guys? Can I get in on that?" Laughter. Dave snorted. "Alright, this show is dedicated to my friends back home. And a special shoutout to Rudy. I know you're here man, give me my five bucks already." He took a sip of water and started.

The show was phenomenal. The reviews were terribly understated. John's jokes were all fresh, except the ones he said himself were used in other shows. Everyone seemed entranced, and they gave him a standing ovation when he left the stage. Dave remembered his mission before he walked out of the building. He turned and went back into the auditorium, but everything seemed packed up already. He cursed himself and walked briskly outside. He turned a corner and went down an alley, scaring off a raccoon. He leaned against a wall next to a door, and pulled a lighter out of his pocket. The cigarette pack was already halfway out when he heard the door open loudly. A happy voice was saying goodbye, and the door closed again. Then something bumped hard into Dave, making him stumble, making his glasses fall off, and the contents of his pockets fall out. Dave dived to the dirty alley's floor, groping for the glasses in the dark. The person gasped. "Oh shit, I'm sorry, let me help you!" They dropped down next to Dave, and picked up the phone and cigarette pack. They handed the things to Dave. "Here you g-" Dave looked up, into the eyes of John Egbert. "John--" "DAVE??? OH WOW MAN!!!!" John exclaimed loudly. "IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!!" Dave took a step backward and shoved the items into his pockets, and his glasses back on his face. They stared at each other for a while. Dave glanced nervously around a few times before John talked again. "Haven't changed much, have you? That's alright.... Hey, you wanna come over to my place for, like, a drink?" John smiled. "Uh....." Dave glanced at his watch. 11:34 PM. I should get back to Rose, He thought, at the same moment he said, "Sure." Fuck.

Dave sat in the passenger seat of John's dark green Ford Bronco, and closes the door. He checks his watch again. 11:45 PM. Rose has gotta be so pissed. John clips his seatbelt on and fires up the ignition. He leaves the gear in park. Dave leaves forward and stares at John. "What's the hold up dude?" John stares back at him with an eyebrow raised. "This car doesn't move without the seatbelts on, Dave." "Really?" Dave snorts indignantly and pulls the seatbelt over, putting it in the clip. John shifts to reverse, backs out of the parking space, then to drive.

Dave's hands tingle halfway through the drive. He rolls down his window and reaches into his back pocket for his cigarettes. Not there. He starts to panic and pats himself up and down for the cancer sticks. "John, we gotta go back, I left my uh, my--" He looks over at John. The box lying on one of his legs. "I swiped those from you. You know they're not good for you, Dave?" John says grimly. "I have half a mind to throw them out of the window. But I won't. Just don't smoke them in my car, okay?" He reaches over to Dave's side, eyes still on the road, and opens the glove compartment. "There's some water and gum in there. Help yourself." Dave sighs, wiping sweat off his neck, and cracks open the water bottle, letting the cool water run down his throat. He opens the pack of gum (peppermint flavored) and chews three sticks nervously. "I really missed you, Dave." John said suddenly. Dave looked over at John, chewing loudly. "Rose, too. And Jade. And I've watched some of your movies. They're pretty awful, huh! You must be rich." John smiles. "And I've read a little bit of Rose's book, but it's really confusing. Have you talked to her lately?" Dave pushed the gum into his cheek. "Er.. yeah. We talk often." Dave nods. "We kinda have to stay together, y'know?" John laughs. "Yeah, you're both getting into that uprising, huh?" Dave swallows nervously and opens his mouth to speak, when his phone beeps. He makes and face and looks at it.

[stupidass 🥀] [Calling iPhone]

He declines the call, silences his phone, and shoves it into his pocket. "Who was that?" John asks curiously. ".....Ben Stiller." Dave lies quietly. "Oh, shit really? He's in your movies right? Wow! Wow, hahaha! I bet he thinks you're a total nerd for owning his glasses. You're welcome for those, by the way." John looks at Dave and grins. "Still wearing them?" Dave flushes. "I've only recently grown into them. You have no idea how long I had to wear those things and they were huge." "Yeah, yeah, okay. No coincidence either that they look so clean and not scratched, huh?" John teases playfully. "Aw whatever, I bet you still have that stupid bunny." Dave groans. "Ahah, I actually do. It means a lot that you'd get that for me, y'know? I can admit that I'm grateful for a gift." He says smugly. "Even if Con Air is garbage." "So you finally admit it." Dave smiles. "Duh!! I mean, Cage's accent is so fake! The acting is horrible, and they basically casted every ham and egger white dude who played a funny character in a movie once." Dave feels his phone buzz. He gingerly pulls the phone out, pretending to listen to John go on about the movie, and checks the screen.

[stupidass 🥀] [Missed Calls (3)] Where the hell are you? Why aren't you answering me? What's going on!?

Dave sighs, and types quickly.

got caught u pwith jhn up with john* might be a while might learn more yw

[stupidass 🥀] Oh my god.