writingpromptslw

[writingpromptslw]

” i understand the whole sleep talking thing but what i don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why i’m in it. ” ” i took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because i could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly ” ” i drunkenly tried to fight you and knocked myself out but you were kind enough to take care of me till i woke up. ” ” you’re the walking personification of a fart. ” ” you’re doing this to avoid 5 minutes of work? ” ” the best way to solve problems is to create more problems until you are dead. ” ” i’m not looking for judgement, just a yes or no ” ” how’s your hooker doing? ” ” my shrink told me i was crazy! well, who’s the narcissist with severe attachment disorder now? ” ” i’m sorry, i don’t speak ‘i never get laid’. ” ” i’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else ” ” is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? ” ” i don’t keep you around for your brains now do i? ” ” hey, jackass. i see you’re more jackass-y than usual. ” ” don’t you think that’s a little primitive?❝ ” zombie apocalypse is serious business. stop laughing. ” ” what are you doing with that pot, bro.❝ ” if i don’t keep busy with trivial things like this i’m afraid i might start to cry ” ” will i be my valentine? yes i will. ” ” i mean, how do you not have sex with me? ” ” is this a business decision, or is it personal? because if it’s business, i’ll go away happily. but if it’s personal i’ll go away… but i won’t be happy ” ” i’ve met some pricks in my time but you are the fucking cactus. ” ” are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me? ” ” Did you not see me fall down in the parking lot? ” ” Oh, that’s a cow. Thought it was a stop sign. ”

” you’ve had your fun. now it’s time to get married. ” ” okay….kill me. but screw me first. ” ” actually, i didn’t invite you. ” ” had a crappy guidance counselor. ” ” people believe in santa claus. how come i’m not getting hooked up every christmas? ” ” this is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done. ” ” yeah, you know what? there’s a ton of lore on unicorns too. in fact, i hear that they ride on silver moonbeams and they shoot rainbows out of their ass!❝ ” don’t objectify me. ” ” i’d like to think it’s because of my perky nipples. ” ” zombie-ghost orgy, huh? well, that’s it. i’m torching everybody ” ” dude, you’re confusing reality with porn again. ” ” for fans, they sure do complain a lot. ” ” i found a liquor store. and i drank it. ” ” no one dicks with ____ except me ” ” doctor called me sick. i said true ” ” she/he gave me a toothbrush. let’s egg his/her house ” ” how cute. you look like you raided a dumpster! ” ” this isn’t right. where are the slutty male costumes?! ” ” what you mean that the rim job isn’t for my car? ” ” i think i’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again. ” ” i can be flexible. as long as everything is exactly the way i want it, i’m totally flexible. ” ” all nighter, you and me. first one to fall sleep buys the other dinner. ” ” i’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot. ” ” what about a compromise? i’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, i’ll apologize ” ” can i touch your boob? ” ” give me cake or give me death ” ” you know what i like most about people? pets. ” ” I told myself I was Jasmine, but I realize now ... I’m Jafar.”

[writingpromptslw]

dating in secret/ secret relationship prompts

secret from friends/co workers/roommates/etc

A trying to sneak out of B’s flat in the morning and B’s roommate catching them “A..what are you doing here?” “oh just um- you know” *raises eyebrow* “I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ACTUALLY HOW HAVE YOU BEEN??”

^ additionally the roommate just being like “…” and A wondering if it worked and the roommate being like “i’m actually so glad i wanted to talk to you too you know i need some advice actually-“ etc

“is that..is that a hickey” “no hahahahah of course not what happened actually is-“ *both the characters who are dating staring at each other awkwardly* “A CAT..BIT THEM ACTUALLY” “YEAH THAT uh a cat..bit me” “on the neck?” “yeah like just..pounced you know *while shooting the other character a “seriously? couldn’t think of anything better??” look*

them just making such fucking elaborate ridiculous lies to hide things and people actually buying it fav trope

A: “i can’t find my camera i have no idea where i kept it” B: “it’s in your second drawer near the wardrobe i think” A’s roommate: “how the fuck do you know that”

C showing up at A’s door (bc they got broken up with or got fired or something) while they’re hooking up with B and then having to hide B in their flat

“whatever you guys say..we were really good at hiding our relationship” “literally all of us knew” “no you didn’t” “we just wanted to see how long you two would manage to keep it up..i must say, that was an extremely entertaining decision”

B’s roommate: “B i think A is stealing our stuff” “what?” “listen. i found your item in their washroom yesterday look i got it back as proof” “tons of people use the same thing B” “it says “property of B” at the bottom”

A and B thinking they’ve made a completely plausible excuse to leave together without anyone suspecting anything, but then when they leave their friends being like “so they’re 100% hooking up” “oh definitely”

feel free to use! tag me if you do <3

[writingpromptslw]

miscellaneous romantic dialogue prompts pt.3

part 1 / part 2

“you said none of it was true… tell me your version then. maybe i will come to regret it one day, but i will take your words as they are. you’re my husband/wife and i trust you.”

“what happened to forever, [name]? what happened to our vows?”

“every time i see you, i thank the gods that you exist.”

“for our divorce settlements, you won’t have to worry about my intentions. i want nothing of yours.”

“if i have to go down on my knees and beg for a second chance, i will do it. i would rather lose my pride than you.”

“loving you have always been the biggest mistake, but never a regret”

“i will always be here if you ever return, despite everything that happened.”

“i would rather be hurt by you than not have you at all.”

“i will let you go, but promise me, that you will find someone worthier of your love than me. i can’t stand seeing you in pain like right now.”

“ask me to stay.” “will you?” “yes.”

“you possess my every thought, day and night. i can’t imagine a world without you anymore.”

“don’t ask me to forget last night. in my heart laid a map of your body.”

“one day, i will forgive myself for not being able to save you.”

“after the goodbyes, my biggest wish is to remain in your heart with warmth and tenderness.”

“without you, i am homeless.”

“bearing your pain has always been my job.”

“have i not suffered enough? has my sacrifice been insufficient to entertain you?”

“you took everything from me, yet i have succeeded in hating you.”

note: i don’t normally ask for credits if you use my prompts, but these are either directly from or heavily inspired by my own wips, so if you decide to use these prompts, i would highly appreciate a credit to @delilahfairchild/@decseptapril <33

[writingpromptslw]

flirty enemies to lovers prompts pt 2

feel free to use! tag me <3

“not so feisty now are we?” “shut up and kiss me”

“YOU ASSHOLE” “HEY what did i do” “WHAT DIDNT YOU DO?? I WAS HALF WAY THROUGH AN EXTREMELY IMPORTANT PRESENTATION *sighs* and i took my jacket off and the ceo of the company is asking me if i got hurt because i have a bruise on my neck. a very very big one”

^ the other character just fucking laughing because they find it hysterical and getting pillows thrown at them

character A fooling around with character B and leaving them an adorable flustered absolute mess (who is begging for more) before getting up and straight up leaving “that’s for payback *tiny wave*”

“i hate them so so so so so much you don’t understand i wake up? and i think about how much i hate them. i eat? still hating them. work? want to stab them. hooking up with someone?? still thinking about how much i hate them.” “dude..”

“it’s so funny how-””shut up” “you’re like so tough and everything during the day” “i hate you so much” “BUT LAST NIGHT-” “i will punch you”

them hooking up and being loud so a roommate barging in because they think they’re like..killing each other and being like “oh OH OKAY”

“you’re so cute when you’re not trying to sabotage me”

<making out> “this is strictly physical” “obviously” “you being hot doesn’t make up for your awful personality” “rude, but i’ll take it”

“fuck why are you so good at this” “i realise that this is not the time but you just admitted that i was good at something”

“you know, i bet i could win you over” “try”

“i don’t really hate you” “really? name one thing you like about me” proceeds to name 50

[writingpromptslw]

underrated tropes

woooooooooooooooooooo tag me <3

A spilling coffee/soup all over themselves by accident and starts panicking, so B helps them take off their clothes right when C walks in

^ “i’ll just..leave you two alone” “ITS NOT LIKE THAT C COME BACK”

getting set up for a blind date but turns out they’ve had a one night stand before

found family but they all actually hate each other.

^ and like when they’re slowly getting used to each other and showing affection in little ways; eg remembering birthdays

their friends being so convinced that they’re dating like refusing to accept that they’re not and even in mundane situations like folding clothes together “oh my god you guys are so cute” “WE’RE NOT TOGETHER FOR GODS SAKE” (they are)

unrequited love; “you’re like a brot-“ “no no no NO NO DO NOT FINISH THAT SENTENCE”

“we..took that cab together because..we..,are..taking a woodwork class together” “*whispers* i thought you were a good liar” “shut up”

bad pick up lines x being totally oblivious about them and taking it 100% seriously

the surrender arm gesture thing while smiling my god

smiling like idiots please give me more of characters smiling like idiots

“i think..you don’t hate me” “what gave you that idea”

making out post saving the world. hm.

arguing and someone is just like “god can you both get a room already i’m trying to concentrate here”

“i-“ “shut up” “that was-“ “that never happened” “i don’t think this ego boost is ever going to fade” *throws their head back in exasperation*