wrongtimeaita

[wrongtimeaita]

Info i should have probably thought to put in the original post/ responses to some of the questions in the replies:

why not just tell him it upsets you? he knows it makes me very anxious and he has mentioned that i get that way about lateness and things not starting on time before. also, he was a tendency to start spiraling if you tell him something he does upsets you and i would like to avoid that if possible. the last time he got like that it was about 2 hours of me trying to convince them they’re not a terrible friend and that i still like them. so yeah id like to avoid stressing them out like that. also hes less likely to get upset about the time change than he is about me directly telling him anything.

He’s going to notice if all the times he gets are off. i’m only doing it for the one event he will get locked out of if he is not on time to it this time. additionally, people are already given a 30 minute arrival period before the doors close. he was 30 minutes past the end of it last time and he lives 5 minutes away from where the event is held. i would just be shifting the period back 30 minutes for him. also even if he did arrive at the earliest time, im helping set up for this event so its not like he’d arrive to nobody being there. chances are if they are miraculously on time to the time i give them it will be at the end of the period which is when the original one starts. my point is, this is a one time thing.

Why not just remind them? i have sent them reminder texts before, they don’t work. they also don’t seem to care if they are late to things so it might be a combination of time blindness and not caring about being punctual.

you should have gone into the fair instead of waiting in your car in a dark parking lot.

looking back yeah i probably should have. at the time i didn’t because it was supposed to be me, strawberry, strawberry’s girlfriend, and a friend of theirs from school and we were going for a buy one get one free deal so i was waiting because we were paying together.

their school friend ended up not coming so i did end up having to pay full price but its ok bc i was able to give away my free wristband to the little kid behind me and it turned out to be his birthday so im glad i got to give it to him. strawberry and their girlfriend did the bogo together which i expected. ignoring the waiting it was mostly a fun event!! third wheeling is always awkward but it was fine bc i’m very used to it at this point

additionally they can drive so it is not a matter of parents not wanting to leave on time.

WIBTA if i started telling my friend incorrect start times for events?

i (17ftm he/they) have this friend (18x He/they), let’s call them Strawberry, who is constantly late to everything. I would be more ok with it if they were like. 5-10 minutes late but they’re often 30+ minutes late to things. sometimes this is fine and doesn’t cause more than slight annoyance. but other times they’ll be 30 minutes late to an event that was supposed to have the doors close by a specific time so it could start. they ended up holding up the entire event and made it so some of the activities that were planned had less time to happen and the only reason he was still let in in the first place is because the organizers are fond of him.

i get severely stressed out by things not going according to plan or when i’m going to be late. as a result of this i refuse to ride with strawberry to anything because his time management skills are so terrible that we will end up 30 minutes to an hour late. recently they planned a hangout where we were supposed to meet up at a fair and they picked the time. i arrived at the chosen time and ended up waiting 45 minutes in a dark parking lot for them to arrive. the event he held up is an annual event and he often asks me for start times and such. would i be the asshole if i told him the event started 30 minutes earlier than it actually did so that if he was late he might still arrive on time.

reasons i might not be the asshole :it would be doing him a favor because this time if he’s late the event organizers most likely will not let him in.

reasons i might be the asshole: telling people the wrong time is generally rude and it might offend him if he found out i did that. and if he did arrive on time for it then he’d be too early for the event and might have to wait outside til the doors open. plus i know he has adhd which makes time management difficult. however he doesn’t take any measures to make it easier for him to be on time because he doesn’t really care about being late.

info: i also have adhd but i feel like arguing that he should be able to do something because i have the same thing as him and can do it is not the strongest logic because different people with adhd have different struggles.

What are these acronyms?