wthjace

[wthjace]

i was praying you and i might end up together → self para

You never think it’ll happen with you until it actually happens. That’s what people say and that is the absolute truth. Jace deep down still hoped everything was just a misunderstanding, a bad joke, something far from the truth and the both would be there, laughing at something silly like they always did. Jace could not believe that maybe, just maybe he would never talk to her again. “I’m so fucking dumb." He spit out, bringing one hand to his face while the other kept still in the staring-wheel, feeling the tears quickly soak his own hand. There were so much time. And instead of going to who he really wanted he kept hooking up with strange girls who only liked him because somehow they found him hot or because of his money. He wanted to be with her again. Just like it was. His hands found it’s way to the wheel again, strongly and repeatedly hitting itself on it, as he closed his eyes for a second. He was mad.

He was sure everyone could hear the noises the wheel was making and he would get a expensive driving ticket but he didn’t care. Everything happened so fast and it felt like his brain and his body wasn’t following. Everything was dark and dizzy. He could feel his heart stopping and beating again every 5 seconds, and his blood going anywhere but his brain. He couldn’t stop thinking about them. About her. Death was something so natural, yet everyone feared it. Heck it, Jace was fucking scared of it. "Please, please, please. I’ll do anything. Please. Please." Jace exclaimed, looking up. He wasn’t sure what he was doing or to who he was talking to, he just seek for help. From God or the universe. Mother Nature, or even Gandhi. He wouldn’t live without her. He tried that already and it did not went okay. He couldn’t, he wouldn’t.

Jace parked wherever and got out of the car, quickly putting on his shirt and grabbing his phone, rushing out of the car and running inside the hospital. "I need to see two friends who just had a car accident, where can I find them?" He quickly asked the first person he saw and luckly, the lady asked for their names and after it, she sent him the right way. The boy brought his hands to his head, keeping it there while he walked the apparently endless corridors, picturing Iris’ fragile body violently crashing between the car and the solid ground or some other thing. Why? Wiping his tears away, he got where he wanted, deeply scared of what he might see or hear. He had to go through this once. The day he had to leave her, the day she went to LA and he switched bases, the day he kept recreating every moment of theirs. Jace took a quiet and deep breath, closing the door behind him, looking around. He knew there were people there, he didn’t know who, he couldn’t recognize anyone. "Excuse me. I’m here for Iris Arroyo. Please, let me know anything that happens. Christian Miller too." He asked a nurse who was walking by firmly before walking towards the chairs and having a seat. Too many questions were passing through his mind and he wasn’t dealing with them quite nicely. No answers.

"I’m sorry, sir. Are you Jace?" The boy heard a male voice behind him and he quickly turned around to see who it was. A bald man shoot him a nice look and he shook his head, knowing he probably looked a mess. "I’m in the paramedics team that helped Mrs. Arroyo and Mr. Miller on the crash. I am not familiar with their state right now but I did find these in the local, along with we think are personal belongings of Mrs. Arroyo." Jace’s eyes widened with interest as he grabbed a paper where he could see his name on it and the girl’s purse. "Thank you." Jace nodded his head, cleaning his face before giving the paper another look. It was a envelope and it has his name on it. Part of him knew what it was about. He quickly opened to find another paper full with her cute handwriting. A letter.

"Dear Jace,

It’s been a long time since we’ve written each other— two months, one week, and four days to be exact. and I’ve missed you every single one of them. The past two summers I’ve spent with you were one’s I’ll never forget. You taught me many important things, the most important being how to love. J, let’s be honest, you’re my first everything, most importantly my first love and no one will ever earn that place other than you. I know this is going to be just like the past forty letters I’ve written and not send them, but maybe that’s why I keep writing. Because I know you won’t see them. But, Jay, every one of those 72 days I’ve missed you, I’m slowly starting to get this stabbing feeling in my chest like something’s missing. And i’m just now realizing what that is. My heart. As you fight for our country, flying that red, white, and blue flag, you’re dragging my heart with you. I hope you know that. I hope you know how hard it is to not hear from you for that long. Are you dead? Are you captured? Do you still love me? Do you still care? Every single day those questions fly through my thoughts like birds. It hurts. I hurt. I know how silly and foolish I sound, but I guess it doesn’t really matter. I know I’m going to chicken out and never send this, when I really have no excuse not to. I still have the address, I have enough stamps, but not enough faith I suppose. I love you and pray every night that you’re safe.

I love you.

Iris Irene Arroyo."

He could feel his heart hurting more and more by every word he read. Jace didn’t get why they lost contact so suddenly and he thought she didn’t want to write him. He thought she didn’t want to be with him anymore or something like that. He quietly sobbed, closing his eyes and letting the girl’s previous words pass through his mind and find a place to stay there forever. "Fuck!" The pain was too much. He brought his hands to his head, touching it tougher than he should. Regret took over Jace’s body and he felt like crying and punching someone at the same time. He didn’t know what the doctors were doing to her and Chris but they better bring them back. They better. He thought as he cried out, holding that piece of paper like it was her on his arms. Jace took one final long breath, there weren’t tears anymore. It felt like he cried them all. But the pain was still there. And it wouldn’t go away anytime soon. He brought the letter to his chest, facing the black glass in front of him. Empty. He was feeling empty. All he had to do was show her love. Regret, pain? It was something bad. A mix of emotions were taking over him. He wanted her there.

[wthjace]

@wthjace: here we go to this bonfire thing

[wthjace]

That I do. Don't blame me, though.

You just love getting under my skin, don’t you?

[wthjace]

Let me guess, that's one of the big amount of things you're sure of? Or should I say, you think you're sure of?

That’s right, because I’m unreadable. And I know that bothers you.

[wthjace]

Truth is I don't know shit when it comes to you. I'm not bothered by that, though.

Am I? Tell me, what am I, Jace? You claim to know how I work so tell me.

[wthjace]

@fckchris: @wthjace i doubt i'm ever gonna do that, especially without getting an injury out of it.

@wthjace: @fckchris yeah, she could kick your ass if you did

[wthjace]

Because I'm bored. 

[wthjace]

Well, you are sure of a whole lot of things, aren't you? What am I doing? I'm not saying anything.

Whatever. I’m sure more than half of the people in this internship would beg to differ. I’m happy with who I am and who are you to tell me if I am or not?

[wthjace]

Didn’t mean to spill that liquor all on my attire, I’ve been drinking watermelon.

[wthjace]

[wthjace]

That D'ussé is the shit if I do say so myself if I do say so myself, if I do say so myself.

Surfboardddddd Graining on that wood, graining, graining on that wood

[wthjace]

I'm bringing my guitar and my surfboard, I don't think I need anything else.

Yes! I’m very excited!

[wthjace]

So, are you excited for tonight?

You too kid.

[wthjace]

@fckchris: really excited for todayyy

@wthjace: @fckchris it's gonna be hella awesome and if you get me a mint brownie from bry i'll give you my eternal admiration

[wthjace]

You could've ignored it and talk about something else or not talk at all, but either way you still decided to complain about only to make conversation. A dick? I'm sure you can do worse. But hey, you're not the sweetest. Well, I don't know, maybe you're not happy with who you are? Or who you're not.

No, giving me information that was a given is wasting my time. God, you can be such a dick sometimes. I’m happy with myself and who I am, why should be jealous of anyone?

[wthjace]

It was nice doing business with you, you're awesome.

As long as you love me, and you don’t touch my mint ones.

[wthjace]

I'm not doing anything, if you really are wasting your time and breath, you're doing that to yourself. You're right! Why on earth would you be jealous of them, right?

Never said I was worried. You can waste your time and breath, however, you are wasting mine. Why on earth would I be jealous of them?