wvba-exclusives

[wvba-exclusives]

will you continue to work on your punch out ask blog?

hiiii thanks for asking!! Im glad youre interested in the blog!

i really do like cindy and the whole mini-story i was building up there, but ive currently shifted focus to my more original projects (particularly fairy story)! I dont have a plan as to when ill go back to it per se, but when im burnt out from my other projects and feeling particularly punchy ill probably come back and answer for a while 🌟

[wvba-exclusives]

CINNDDDDDDYYYY I GOTTA KNOW what got you interested in the wvba in the first place!!!

“A request about me? I’m not a boxer, but it would be rude not to answer… so I will!

At first, I didn't want to be a reporter at all. Since I was young, my dream job was…"

"A WEATHER GIRL!

But what I didn’t know, is that you’re not going to get hired as a weather girl without an atmospheric science degree. And I…"

"...Am not good at that.”

"But you can’t get a degree if you’re missing a class, so I switched out of that program and into Journalism and did that for a few years, though not very passionately.

I got a summer internship at some small British Columbian reporting facility. They wanted to cover the new oil pipeline construction plans, and tasked me with interviewing some outspoken environmentalist. But when I got to the guy's house…"

"Well, I had to know more.

That was last summer! I spent all my time last year researching, set building, and saving up money so I’d be able to report on the WVBA’s most recent season. I skipped my own graduation ceremony to fly out to Nevada to get here before the rush of anyone else.

I’m still only an indie reporter, but I’m hoping I catch someone’s eye! Maybe I can get hired officially one day!"

---

"Oh, and for those who are wondering, the bear is literally just a bear that Hugger stumbled upon while up in his boreal cabin. He says when he saw it, he panicked and tried to punch it. Upon seeing this, the bear was so disgraced by his terrible form she stopped trying to eat him and taught him how to hit better. Now they trade scraps for punches. Mutually."

[wvba-exclusives]

Did Aran Ryan start his boxing career cheating or did he actually keep it clean at first?

[wvba-exclusives]

Has old Hoy Quarlow finally decided to retire yet? Or did the WVBA drag him out kicking and screaming?

Investigation already concluded! [xxx]

[wvba-exclusives]

who's the funniest boxer....? as in, who has the best sense of humor? in your personal opinion or from asking other boxers, whichever works!

"Bob Charlie now does small-scale standup. I think he's pretty funny! Only a matter of time till he gets picked up for a professional show."

[wvba-exclusives]

how's nick bruiser? what happened to him after his career got ruined?

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPTION: NICK BRUISER

[Pre-interview pre-ramble: microphones tested, Camera troubleshooting, pleasantries exchanged, etc. Irrelevant to interview.]

Q: Will your brother be joining us?

A: No. I’m not in contact with him. Haven’t heard much from him since I lost the championship.

Q: So you have no idea where he is or what he’s doing?

A: [strained] No.

Q: So what are you up to currently?

A: I work at a botanical garden in [REDACTED: PRIVACY], mostly as a groundskeeper. Despite my arm never being able to fully heal enough to be safe for sporting, I can still do most mundane things. I’m still a lot stronger than the other people working there, so they get a lot of hard labour out of me. I do a lot of digging. Fine by me; need to flex the muscles somehow.

Q: Do you like working there?

A: …Yeah. It’s quiet. I never realized how much I liked plants till I started working there.

Q: When you were first hired, did people know you? Were they scared of you?

A: Everyone is, at some point. I’ve been working there for almost a decade now, so most people are over it. I think.

Q: You think?

A: [silence]

Q: Do you doubt that?

A: [pointed] How about you ask the question we both know you want to?

Q: [reluctant] Are you still in contact with Glass Joe?

A: No. Neither of us have contacted one another after the incident. I get an “anonymous” gift basket of bread and wine annually, however.

Q: Why do you think that is?

A: I think… he’s ashamed. Joe’s always been a nice guy; I’m sure the incident is eating him up, even now. I don’t reach out because it would be awkward and unnecessary. Is he still in the minor circuit?

Q: You don’t know?

A: I don’t keep up with boxing anymore. That’s behind me.

[A brief conversation over overall current WVBA standings ensued]

Q: How do you feel about the whole incident, looking back?

A: I’ll be honest. When I first woke up in the hospital, I don’t think I’ve ever been angrier. Between me and my brother, I’ve always been very mellow, but in that moment I felt like I could punch through concrete. My brother was with me the whole time, and he kept us up until the early hours of the morning exchanging expletives about Joe, despite the nurse insisting I should be resting.

Joe, having defeated me, had the opportunity to claim championhood. A few days into my hospital stay, the nurse brought in about seven baskets full of fresh bread into my room. I told her to get rid of it, that I didn’t want the champion’s pity-bread. She informed me that Glass Joe declined the title of champion. When I heard that, I realized I didn’t want to be angry at him anymore.

My brother, however, is not so merciful.

---

[Follow-up was attempted on Rick Bruiser, but aside from his infamous resignation from the WVBA, no information on him could be found.]

[wvba-exclusives]

So I read a comic thing and king hippo said that he'd eat his next opponent? Or did he just say that to intimidate others

"Do you actually think King Hippo would cannibalize his opponant live on stage in the ring?"

[wvba-exclusives]

Have there ever been any... unexplained, and perhaps even un-explainable, occurrences in the WVBA's history?

"I don't know, I swear the minor circuit locker room is haunted. Kaiser says its just the old vents, but man, it sounds like crawling up there."

[Reporter's note: the phenomina Disco Kid experienced likely has a logical explanation, as the vents are able to both fit and support the weight of a small person as well as their very charming blue hat.]

---

"Explain this."

---

"I slept with a ghost once."

[wvba-exclusives]

Did Princess Peach ever try to become a boxer? I heard a rumor she was supposed to be in the wvba but Donkey Kong took her place…

[ref peach source]

[wvba-exclusives]

does anyone know what happened to birdie? like did he give an official statement or did he just... dissappear?

"No statement, just stopped showing up. Birdie's just... Kind of like that."

"He finds something that piques his interest, blindly pursues it until he gets bored, and then moves onto the next thing. Doesn't matter if he's even good at it-- just so long as he has fun doing it! Boxing apparently was just one of those things he was good at."

"He'll jump all over the world on a whim and doesnt really have any social media or anything that details what he's up to. Because of this, it makes it pretty hard to keep track of him. Based on sightings, He's currently in Mexico doing videography."

[wvba-exclusives]

Is there anything you can scoop up about King Hippo? Like age or place of birth?

And a second querie, if you can? What can you find out about Bear Huggers bear? And why he has one with him?

"I'll have to get back to you on Bear Hugger... This investigation was a bit draining."

[wvba-exclusives]

Here's a question, who's the other teacher in Kaiser's photo from before? Her seems important to Kaiser

"Finding information on Kaiser would be a pretty challenging task, seeing as he has no social media presence. Luckily, his husband does!"

"From what I can gather, they met in their early 20's while working for the German military. They were both honourably discharged after his husband lost his leg while on a peacekeeping mission for the UN."

"They went into teaching a while after-- well, Kaiser went into teaching; his husband is head cafeteria cook at the same school Kaiser teaches at."

[wvba-exclusives]

Hello, Cindy! Think you could ask Heike what they use for their hair? [Also this ask blog is giving me life- thank you for this 😭😭]

"Ask him yourself!"

"They quit boxing a while back and opened up a beauty product shop. He won't tell what the secret ingredient in his product blends are, but buying a bottle yourself is the next best thing!"

[wvba-exclusives]

why is popinski allowed to drink in the ring?

[wvba-exclusives]

yayyy punch out ocs yayyyy

[wvba-exclusives]

What the FUCK is in the Soda Popinski? WE GOTTA KNOW-

[wvba-exclusives]

Why does Aran Ryan cheat?

{reminder}