wymond

[wymond]

[wymond]

a sardine just burst out of the ground and pierced me

[wymond]

The combination of good kush + alcohol

[wymond]

[wymond]

Keep making myself like choke laughing because I keep imagining a Netflix documentary following Augustus Gloop 20 years after the chocolate factory incident, heavily advertised across the platform and titled "Augustus: After the Gloop" like with his face in shadow or something

[wymond]

Nothing more embarrassing than accidentally using a big word wrong because now I'm simultaneously both stupid and pretentious, the worst combination of all time

[wymond]

[wymond]

“never kill yourself” is such a funny phrase to me that i think it’s accidently started working. its like an affrimation. say ‘never kill yourself’ enough times as a joke and maybe you won’t try to kill yourself over minor inconviences anymore

[wymond]

IF everyone on earth quit their job right now we would change the world and if everyone always drove the same speed and stopped at the same time there would never be traffic jams and if everyone planted a berry on earth there would be lota berries

[wymond]

there is something erotic about irritating a man. i’m really enjoying pissing you off. do you want fuck me yet

[wymond]

*walks through a bead curtain*

[wymond]

i love night driving!!!

[wymond]

if a man calls women bitches he shall be stoned to death. bc it says so in my scriptures. that i wrote

[wymond]

does anyone have that one drawing of a greyhound from like the 1920s or whatever please please please i need it the one where it looks like a single piece of forlorn wire i need it

[wymond]

[wymond]

(cant remember the expression "bit off more than i could chew") guess i really sucked off more than i could swallow huh

[wymond]

this is me when i get my bathtime blueberries if i'm being quite honest