xanadontit

[xanadontit]

Saw a promo for F1 (the movie) that called it "Top Gun on wheels" and excuse me but we already had that and it was called Days of Thunder.

This is fancy Days of Thunder if anything.

[xanadontit]

[xanadontit]

D met with one of the associates at the law firm where I used to work and feels 1000% better about their financial situation vis a vis 1) paying for long-term care and 2) being able to stay in the family home. As suspected, a lot of what I told her (which boiled down to "no sudden moves until you talk to the attorney") was correct and she has an actionable plan and guidance on each step. I told her to ignore whatever nonsense his parents, his finance bro friends, the cashier at Trader Joe's, etc. says and just do what the attorney and her assistant tell her to do. But also, get started because the sooner the motions are filed and he's qualified for Medi-Cal and assets are protected the better. Securing their finances is Priority #1. And #2, really. Like, shopping for summer dresses and repotting plants can fucking wait. This is your new hobby for a bit!

She was grateful for the referral and support and said she should have done this a month ago when I first brought it up and man, inject that shit to my veins.

"You are/were right." Oh yeah.

Anyway, more than being right I'm so relieved she has answers and there's a way forward that doesn't involve up-ending all of their lives more than it already is.

[xanadontit]

Boom. Boom. Boom.

Are we paying the price for our hubris of science?

shout out to @brostateexam and Tracy Jordan's middle aged son Donald

[xanadontit]

I have not been doing a good job with my summer body (not a single popsicle consumed so far!) but I am swimsuit ready (bought a really cute one at J Crew Factory).

[xanadontit]

you look great in that frog costume

[xanadontit]

A few friends - granted ones who have had to deal with follow-up ultrasounds or even biopsies - asked if I was nervous about the mammogram or results and honestly? No. Not especially. No scary family history, no lumps, nothing that's made me anxious. It's uncomfortable but then it's over and I got my results quickly. The End.

The eye doctor however? I manage to convince myself that this is going to be the appointment where I find out I have glaucoma or unexplained blindness and start coming up with names for my seeing eye dog and freak out. Then it's just "yeah so your eyesight kinda sucks but we knew that - here have some contact lenses about it" and I hand over a ton of money and move on with my day.

I continue to be a paragon of chill and logic.

[xanadontit]

Mammogram results are normal! See ya in a year!

[xanadontit]

So far this weekend:

Hair appointment

Errands

Laundry

Made a warm fig and arugula salad that was the hit of a super fun dinner party

Changed the sheets and towels

Organized vanity drawers! Finally! God bless The Container Store!

Cleaned makeup brushes

Next up: organize clutches and wallets

[xanadontit]

@hot-juliachild-inthecity asked "can you describe the different times you use all these? I'm getting better at sunscreen but I want to do more!" and so now you all have to hear it!

Kidding you can scroll past if sunscreen talk bores you!

The mousse, spray, and lotion are all basically interchangeable in terms of purpose, and it really just depends on my mood (and E's - he uses this stuff too). I'll admit I'm not super diligent about daily sunscreen on anything other than my face/neck, so these are really just for pool/beach/outdoorsy times. The spray is great for quick touch-ups if I've been in the pool or need to reapply after a few hours outside. I don't use these on my face unless there's no other option because I am a delicate angel baby who breaks out easily.

I use the face lotion on my face when I'm going to be outside or in the pool or sweating a lot. Most days I use my Avene or Kosas or Tower28 but sometimes need something a little more hardcore versus makeup that includes sunscreen. It doesn't irritate my skin or run when I sweat. The lip balm was a free gift with purchase and I've only used it a few times and it has a faint sunscreen scent to it which I don't love but it's not a dealbreaker for me.

The Glow Screen Drops are a new thing for me and I'll admit I was #influenced. I either mix a few drops in my moisturizer or apply a layer over it and it gives a subtle "glow" without being glittery or shiny. I justify my vanity by telling myself I am protecting my skin.

Not pictured but honorable mention: the Glow Screen Stick! Fits in my purse and can work as a subtle highlighter and is perfect for quick touch ups.

I'll happily answer other questions - hopefully this was helpful?

[xanadontit]

My most recent sunscreen haul. It was time to replenish the supply!

Obviously a huge fan of Supergoop, and all of these are great. But the mousse? Exceptional. It isn’t sticky and has great staying power.

[xanadontit]

[xanadontit]

JK guess who's been ghosted!

So it's no secret I hate my job (well, Insane Owner) and am looking. My mom has transitioned to a similar role (she's in risk management/compliance) within her long-time company. She keeps telling me to keep an eye out for openings there because their department is growing.

Here's the thing: way back when I was a wee baby adult I worked there. It's a pretty good company! Made a ton of friends who are part of my life to this day! But working at the same place as her was rough. We didn't work together exactly but were in the same region and occasionally crossed paths. She has zero sense of boundaries when it comes to me. Would make a big deal about telling people I'm her daughter, and on more than one occasion was straight up rude and unprofessional to me as some sort of flex.* It wasn't good.

So now she wants to talk to me about a job opening there and I am going to have to find a reason to say "I'm not applying for that" without saying "because I don't want to work with you" because she'll flip out. And while I generally am of the "your reaction is not within my control" camp I really don't want to fight with her. I'm tired. Genuinely hoping the job is a terrible fit or outside my realm so I can say "thanks but no thanks" and move on.

*This is a go-to move for her and one time when she was being shitty to me in front of her friends because she knew I wouldn't make a scene in front of others** I said "Why are you being mean to me? Are you trying to show off for your friends that you're so tough?" and she looked like I had kicked her in the stomach. It was actually kind of great.

**I literally never made a scene, ever, but anything other than complete compliance is seen as the act of a hysterical nightmare.

[xanadontit]

Have an initial phone screening either tomorrow or Thursday (gave HR my availability and am waiting on her to confirm a day and time). Gonna need to do some tap dancing to explain why I want to make a move from insurance to being an office manager! I really wish "My current boss is three Cluster B personality disorders in a trench coat and you pay more. Let's do this" was an acceptable answer.

So it's no secret I hate my job (well, Insane Owner) and am looking. My mom has transitioned to a similar role (she's in risk management/compliance) within her long-time company. She keeps telling me to keep an eye out for openings there because their department is growing.

Here's the thing: way back when I was a wee baby adult I worked there. It's a pretty good company! Made a ton of friends who are part of my life to this day! But working at the same place as her was rough. We didn't work together exactly but were in the same region and occasionally crossed paths. She has zero sense of boundaries when it comes to me. Would make a big deal about telling people I'm her daughter, and on more than one occasion was straight up rude and unprofessional to me as some sort of flex.* It wasn't good.

So now she wants to talk to me about a job opening there and I am going to have to find a reason to say "I'm not applying for that" without saying "because I don't want to work with you" because she'll flip out. And while I generally am of the "your reaction is not within my control" camp I really don't want to fight with her. I'm tired. Genuinely hoping the job is a terrible fit or outside my realm so I can say "thanks but no thanks" and move on.

*This is a go-to move for her and one time when she was being shitty to me in front of her friends because she knew I wouldn't make a scene in front of others** I said "Why are you being mean to me? Are you trying to show off for your friends that you're so tough?" and she looked like I had kicked her in the stomach. It was actually kind of great.

**I literally never made a scene, ever, but anything other than complete compliance is seen as the act of a hysterical nightmare.

[xanadontit]

[xanadontit]

[xanadontit]

I promise you I am more than sympathetic to how overwhelmed and exhausted she is, but every conversation with D involves a portion where I have to say, "OMG what? No. Don't do that/stop doing that." I'm five minutes out from spraying her with a water bottle each time she shares a new "idea" for how to manage things.

Some of her greatest hits:

1.) Sell her condo and pay down/off their family home. (Talk to your financial advisor and CPA first to make sure you're not going to get screwed in taxes!)

2.) Divorce her husband. This one is financially and, frankly, emotionally motivated. (Talk to the asset protection attorney first to make sure you protect the house and apply for Medi-Cal before starting any divorce proceedings!)

3.) Rent out the family home and move in with Mom. (Have you and your mom discussed what living with two small kids will look like? Have you considered that you can barely get through Easter brunch with her? Will the rental income on the house screw you over benefits-wise? OMGGGGGG!)

4.) Hand over husband's SDI checks to her in-laws because they are "helping" with his medical bills that insurance won't cover. (Are you kidding me? No. That's to make up for his loss of income so you can support your kids! His parents are rich landlords; they can afford to help! Don't do that!)

5.) Generally spiraling out over things that haven't happened yet or won't be an issue for some time. (Maybe instead of panicking about father-daughter dances you could locate the notarized updated power of attorney you need for your meeting with the attorney!)

And look: I'm fine to be the voice of reason. But at some point some sense of self-preservation needs to kick in and she has got to chill out, focus on what must be done, and then do that. Worrying about who will hang the Christmas lights on the house* is not productive. I feel like a monster because I know this is an emotionally and logistically rough time, to put it mildly. Her kids are so young and not remotely self-sufficient (I mean, they are totally normal for 5 and 2 but she can't be like "yeah go use the stove to make some eggs while I sleep in!") so exhaustion is already in the mix. But goddamn. If you have limited energy and resources then focus.

Luckily she trusts me and I promise my delivery is not severe or scolding just like "Hey friend, I get you feel like you need to make moves now, but please get some professional advice so you don't create a new, also expensive problem, ok? OK!"

I'm tired.

*Told her I'd pay for a Task Rabbit if she promised to stop worrying about things like that.

EDIT: To be clear, she has asked me "What do you think?" I'm not just bossing her around or offering unsolicited advice. I don't do that...anymore. If she was only venting I'd be like "vaya con dios" and move along but if you ask what I think/what would I do I'm going to be honest.