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My stepdad is so fucking funny sometimes

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my brother had a brilliant idea that i wanted to share with other people who have four-legged family members: he trained our two cats to go directly to the door when they hear the fire alarm.

obviously at first the fire alarm sent them scrambling for cover, but he started slowly by giving them treats whenever it went off, when someone burned food or forgot to open the fireplace flu. he then progressed to calling them to the door to offer treats immediately after the alarm went off. and it actually wasn't too long before the cats voluntarily started going to the door upon hearing the alarm.

i think this was genius because in the event of a real emergency we know exactly where the cats will be and we will not have to waste precious time trying to find them to rescue them. i think this method would work equally well with dogs and probably other free-roaming pets such as rabbits, ferrets, etc. and i certainly encourage others to give it a shot!

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“Aces and aros don’t know the real struggles” yeah my foot

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(ID: two memes using the "it's 2023 i'm done arguing / if you hate X i'm straight up murdering you" meme format. the first says "asexuals" and has a picture of the ace pride flag, and the second says "aromantics" and has a picture of the aro pride flag. end ID)

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reaction image ive just made for an experience i have so often when talking about ocs with my friends. for when “GRIPS” just isnt enough

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my hungry ass could never work at astrophysics

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Oh, it’s you. It’s been a long time. How have you been? I’ve been really busy being dead. You know, after you murdered me.

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My friends who just got their first glasses: i need this highly expensive special cloth to wipe them, I also have this eyeglass cleaner from the same company, did you know you shouldn’t use your t shirt unless it’s specifically soft

Me who’s worn glasses since middle school: *slaps soap onto the glasses and washes them in the sink then wipes them with toilet paper* what

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met a women today and she was like “i’m mrs smith, soon to be mrs johnstone” and I was like “aww, that’s lovely! are ye gettin’ married?” and without blinking she hit back with “nah i’m divorcing the cunt” a legend tbh

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The Ninth Doctor is the kind of person who will take you out for something to eat and say “my treat” but then he remembers that he actually has no money.

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absolutely disgusting, the flagrant lack of support for the bug race worm. completely left behind. nobody even talking about it or trying to help them. Aand you all have the gall to ask who would still love YOU if u turned into a worm? SAD.

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It’s October! You know what that means... 🎃 (via kxvo)

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Treasure Planet was so right. About everything, but specifically I mean about the whole spaceships and technology blended with 18th century aesthetic.

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…so what you’re saying is Susie trusts Kris -

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Here's something weird. Mayor Holiday is described as rich and powerful...

(from the Spamton Sweepstakes, Noelle's watch description)

With a big, gated house..

...but in Undertale, in Snowdin, all the Holiday Family had was a cottage.

And Snowdin doesn't have a mayor.

Their political system is just... Undyne and Papyrus.

But Politics Bear also muses about running as mayor...

...implying no one is even running to be mayor at the moment.

What's going on there...?

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Why did Susie try to provoke Kris here?

I don’t think anyone really believes it was for shits and giggles. She takes an actual issue with Kris.

And I think we’re supposed to wonder what that issue is.

Here, Susie is upset that Kris won’t talk to or react to her. It actually says she continued because they didn’t react to her.

And she is trying very hard to get them to talk or react to her, and they don’t, at all.

Until they snicker at her.

…which Susie interprets as Kris making fun of her.

And…honestly, Susie seeing Kris bite the apple probably just confirmed that Kris was making fun of her in her mind.

But what makes her “explode”…

…is that they won’t say anything to her. No matter how hard she tries to get them to.

Which is also what pisses her off here.

It’s been proven already that she makes her own interpretations of Kris’s silence as being hatred of her.

And I think the reason she takes particular offense to Kris’s silence…

…is a personal reason to do with their adoption, because she brings up Toriel when she gets really angry both here and in the hallway.

Noelle doesn’t talk to Susie either…

…but recall that on the first day, Noelle gave her a pencil and smiled at her. Susie knows Noelle doesn’t hate her.

So despite Noelle’s quietness, popularity, big house, wealth, “huge opportunity”, and plenty of reasons to be jealous…

 …Susie doesn’t ever bully Noelle.

She just thinks the reason Noelle doesn’t talk to her is because she’s afraid of her.

She doesn’t think for a second it’s actually  because Noelle has a huge crush on her.

When Lancer traps Susie to keep her safe, she stutters in shock for a moment…

But you can actually see the rationalization start in her head.

And she doesn’t let him give her the actual reason.

She just takes it as confirmation that no one would ever want to be her friend and Lancer just wanted to get rid of her.

 All Susie’s interpretations of behavior she didn’t understand were to assume someone hated her, was afraid of her, or wanted to hurt her.

 I don’t think anyone had given her reason to believe otherwise in a long, long time.