xanthicantag

[xanthicantag]

i have hired this fucking thing to stare at you

[xanthicantag]

How are my sweetie pees

[xanthicantag]

Yeah so unfortunately, my friend was right. Muttering 'I'm gonna put on the greatest talent show this town has ever seen' darkly to myself is not only vastly funnier than saying I'm gonna kms, but is also somehow more concerning to anyone who might overhear it

[xanthicantag]

i forgot about the time honored tradition of opening your dashboard like the local newspaper to learn about what happened at the my chemical romance concert last night

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[xanthicantag]

captain america: so do any avengers have any pressing business

blade: are any of you motherfuckers gonna help me fight the vampires. please. there are so many.

captain america: no

[xanthicantag]

Really is interesting to me how Steven Universe remains hands down the most consistently and deliberately non-evil cartoon in terms of it's depiction of fat people. You don't notice how consistently it's putting it's money where its mouth is on that point until you watch like literally any other cartoon

[xanthicantag]

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

[xanthicantag]

instead of either having a server be muted or unmuted discord should introduce a setting called special princess mode where the server is muted except ☝🏽 for one person that is your special princess and the emoji0oo990op09iop09i8o09i8op09iolp-09op-0opyujiko8o9i8ukol9iukolp9i8uki sorry. i got a drop of oil on my keyboard bc i was eating hummus with a little bit of olive oil earlier and i was cleaning that off. anyway and the notification icon is a heart. and they have to to call it that.

[xanthicantag]

truly can’t believe the entire internet used to be about playing little games. it was about having adobe flash and playing little games on nick.com

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"ohhhh i'm an influencerrr" you are a shill. you are the fucking slap chop guy. sell me some oxyclean

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the original guy i reblogged this from was a shithead so reuploading it

[xanthicantag]

🆘TEEN GIRL DYING WITHOUT OXYGEN‼️

15-year-old Nour is in a severe state of hypoxia!! Her heart is struggling to function due to her chronic condition, and her blood is unable to circulate oxygen throughout her body! She urgently needs funds for supplemental oxygen treatment OR HER ORGANS WILL SHUT DOWN!!

Please help save a teen girl’s life!!! Anything helps!!!

Current: $63,826 CAD

[xanthicantag]

great! now do the same medical study with women

[xanthicantag]

Sabrina the Teenage Witch – 4.05: Spoiled Rotten

[xanthicantag]

I wish I woke up tomorrow in a world where I don't have to see a single AI generated image ever again