xbloodandteax - Tumblr blog

[xbloodandteax]

I feel like media makes my mental issues worse and honestly with the whole “quiet on set” I feel really gross about the teen croquette vibe I’ve shared on here. And I’ve had a few oddly specific fetish blogs follow me which feels gross.

My real life has been crazy and with media and my maladaptive daydreaming, real and not keeps blending so I think I may delete tumblr as well

I don’t have much of a following but I have lots of mutuals

[xbloodandteax]

Never mind this is the hardest breakup. It’s like now I did it I can’t remember why but I know I needed to. My poor kitties god I’ve sobbed and told them sorry repeatedly.

We’ll be friends. He said he wants me in his life even if we’re just friends.

This will be good. Idk his plans but maybe he’ll get out there and change a lil and I can get back to working on myself again.

Maybe one day

He was my first real love, I hate it’s come to this

[xbloodandteax]

I guilt cleaned his bed. When do I tell him about wanting to breakup/take a break and move back with my mom cuz he works tonight and has his daughters game tomorrow;-;

[xbloodandteax]

[xbloodandteax]

[xbloodandteax]

I think I’m gonna do it. It’s time. I gotta break up with him ;-; ⚠️long post⚠️

I talked with mom. We even looked at a house we could buy together. She said I’m 23 and a relationship shouldn’t stress me out so bad.

Current issues include: I pay for EVERYTHING. I didn’t mind buying groceries because he spends like $500 a month towards he car, right. But I spend like $200 every week to support us ;-; I’m not struggling but aaaaaa. It’s hard. I gave him opportunity to work where I do making $17 but he doesn’t wanna do it. Of course he gave me a bit of money this week ;-; he fixed up some of his bills but ah. Also, I just regret moving in, a year of struggles beyond my comprehension. He’s not a great father, I had to parent his daughter which was hard when I also worked thirds and we had her every other week. I’m not gonna ask for the $3000 back even though I could really use it. He’s a bum y’all 😭 he doesn’t find anything I do bother some and I think it’s cuz I cook, clean, and support him. He has a short temper with his daughter but not me????? I don’t like kissing and my libido has disappeared off the face of the earth. This only happened with my last ex when I fell out of love with him :/ he was easier to break up with doe 😭

J is very caring and has always supported me. We’ve had good times, but the stress and loneliness out ways that. He never gets off his game when I wanna spend time with him but if I wanna do something alone and he wants me to spend time with him, he gets pouty. He got pouty when I asked him to stuff picking and tickling me. I can never set boundaries without him taking it as I hate him. I faked every orgasm and he thinks he knows my body so well. I felt bad for him ;-; I have to set up everything around us just so he can have it easy. I’ve had to stage him like he’s a good father and I believed it myself, he’s not, never really was. He loves her but puts no effort, AND I DID, I don’t even really like kids but I loved her enough to make an effort.

Now I resent both of them, not to her fault at all but to his. I see her as something I have to care for in place of him and it’s ruined it.

Hanging out with him before I moved in was so fun and careless now I’m insane and mean. I wanna be free god I want to be free. And happy. And soft and kind. I was doing so good and I’ve lived for a man. And I’m riddled with guilt.

I’m even guilt cleaning his old matress so it’ll be clean when I leave. When…not if….

Mom said I can keep my girl kitties, I hope he’ll care for the boys. I’ll miss my Loki :< he was his anyways right before I moved in. We were gonna be a happy family….

It was so right the first month then shit hit the fan. Shit I never thought I’d deal with. Now I’m $3000 down the drain 😔🫡 I’ll miss everything but I havnt even shed that many tears talking about it. Havnt had good memories in at least a year. Plus we’re not married or have kids and only dated for 2 years. The first year was great ;-; damn. Him and his babymama dated 5 and had a kid and it still didn’t work. I just have to tell him…

[xbloodandteax]

When work is slow and your boss gives you the okay to relax a bit and everyone is friends and goofing around together but you’re quiet and you’re fine being quiet but you feel everyone feeling sorry for you and trying to include you but it’s just embarrassing and I’m about to vomit with anxiety

[xbloodandteax]

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[xbloodandteax]

nature artwork by Andy Goldsworthy

[xbloodandteax]

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[xbloodandteax]

A mysterious spiral in the sky over Alaska spotted by aurora borealis watchers last week (2023)

[xbloodandteax]

[xbloodandteax]

I'm like if a sensitive sweetheart was a bit bitter and loathesome

[xbloodandteax]

Fellow American girls, how yall loosing weight?;-; I eat meats and veggies, very low sugar and calories and I’ve been biking and walking a lot. I’m overweight I should be loosing weight but it ain’t budging ;,-,;

[xbloodandteax]

made u dinner