xenith85 - Tumblr blog

[xenith85]

Reblog if you are insecure about anything below:

-weight

-appearance

-intelligence (or lack of) 

-skills (or lack of) 

-weird hobbies

-friends (or lack of) 

-body

-personality

-family

Who ever reblogs this will get a message in their inbox.

[xenith85]

[xenith85]

I’m pretty sure this vine defines my life

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Re-uploading this here. It’s also on youtube.

[xenith85]

Thriller Night

DM: The Deadlord stares at you all and mutters something in Infernal. Four zombies arise from the graves surrounding him. Then he…*rolls in prep for attack, is a nat 20* Oh. Oh my

Ninja (OOC): No! Did he just roll a critical Thriller?!

[xenith85]

Knight Enchanters be like

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Caboose vs. Fire

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Lindsay Jones, breaking hearts and stealing fries [x]

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Immersion has really gone downhill.

Caption this image!

[xenith85]

Ray pls

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“You have successfully convinced your captors that you are a seal polymorphed into human form. What do you do next?” “Arf arf arf.”

(via outofcontextdnd)

[xenith85]

Im playing a cleric with a nature domain, so i can talk to animals. The party was sleeping one night around the fire and me and our fighter dwarf are keeping watch. And a bear walks up, so i talk to it and. Offer it some meat.

Bear: can i eat the little one?

Cleric: i would prefer u didnt.

Bear. He looks yummy.

Dwarf: what does is want??

Cleric: nothing dont worry about it.

The bear then sits next to me like a dog for a while as we talk about him not being aloud to eat the dwarf. Apparently dwarfs are dense and yummy similar to a bagel.

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Alchemist: “Good news is, we found the cure for the poison.”

Half-orc Barbarian: “Bad news is, IT’S MORE POISON!”

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I had a few AUs that I didn’t feel were worthy of being their own post?? So… here?

Also most conversations in the LOTR Au tend to go like this : Gavin : Hey Ryan could you do a thing with magic Ryan : I’m gonna do the thing Everyone else : Ryan no Ryan  : Ryan YES

[xenith85]

Easter dragon you say

Wizard/Rogue: “We’re being chased by an angry Eastern Dragon”

Artificer(OCC) “Did you say Easter Dragon?”

Cleric (OCC) “TAKE MY CHOCOLATE YOU MONSTERS”

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I pull up a chair, turn it around, and sit in it backwards so the ghost knows that I’m his buddy now.

the wizard trying to catch a ghost (via outofcontextdnd)

[xenith85]

Bear With Me Here

So, we’re playing what is planned to be a one-off campaign. I’m DMing and my friend is playing a druid. My other friend is playing an alcoholic pirate who has had 59 ex-boyfriends.

Me: And how about you? Do you have any experience with relationships?

Kauri (Druid):…Not with humans.

Me: So, with like, what?

Kauri: I like bears.

Later

Me: While you’re meditating in the forest, a bear approaches and sniffs at you.

Kauri: I turn into a bear. And can we just like, skip forward an hour?

Me: *Jaw drops* …

Me: …I wonder if you get pregnant. Roll a constitution saving throw.

Kauri: *Fails*

Me: You’re pregnant.

Kauri: So, how exactly does this work? Like what happens when I turn back into a human?

Me: …That’s a good question. Roll a luck check.

Kauri: *Nat 20*

Me: You have kids immediately.