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Never trust a furry disliker

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It's darkly amusing to me that some people thought my mom didn't "discipline" me enough as a kid, were not shy about making sure both she AND I knew it, and now as an adult I'm one of the only people in my friend group who still wants anything to do with their parents. The proof is in the pudding, as they say.

When I was a kid, I broke a ceramic soap dispenser. I burst into tears and was terrified that I was going to be in trouble. My mom told me that it was okay, because accidents happen sometimes, and the important thing was that I didn't do it on purpose and apologized.

When someone else I know was a kid, they broke a dish on accident and got screamed at and guilt tripped. To this day, they have to push down a panic attack at the sound of broken glass, and have had to actively work on healing from that trauma. They will always have to carry that.

I think maybe it's not MY mom who fucked up in the "how to discipline your child" department. Quite frankly, I think the idea of "disciplining children" is fucked up and deeply harmful on a fundamental level.

When a kid does something wrong, you have to teach them how to fix it and do better. Humans are messy and complicated and we don't know everything there is to know just by being born. Children are learning how to be human beings, and that's a really hard thing to learn.

Kids question and fight back against authority that mistreats them, but someone treating them like a human being with human emotions is usually going to have a lot of success. Kids just want to be respected, and it's our job as adults to give them that basic human dignity. The world is utterly terrifying, and made scarier when all the grown-ups seem to hate you and wish you would just shut up and go away, even the ones that claim they want you around.

Kids can be mean, because they're still learning how to socialize and communicate and collaborate. Sometimes you have to give them time to cool off, and sometimes you have to redirect them. Sometimes you have to be firm. Sometimes you have to be an adult, and hone your conflict de-escalation and resolution skills. None of that requires punishment.

And if a child does something truly cruel and fucked up and shitty, and it hurts someone in a big way? My first question isn't "what should their punishment be," my first question is always, "who taught this kid that, and is this child in active danger from them?"

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If you've never seen someone write about their experiences with a species or character or entity or object or concept that you identify as, or if you've never found traces of other people who have identified as the specific nonhuman or fictional thing that you identify as, consider this a sign for you to write about your experiences!

Leave tracks! Show that you were here! Share what you experience and how you feel and understand it! If not for your own future benefit, then for the benefit of those who come after and wonder if someone like you existed!

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A snake story, based on an experience I had while I was in Florida.

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Spirit: Stallion of The Cimarron & the Indian Boarding Schools/Residential Schools allegory

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 tbh i fully believe that healthy kids should be getting in some stupid trouble.

like, a child that’s in trouble all the time, frequently skipping school, getting caught doing crimes? that’s a kid that desperately needs literally any positive attention. that kid needs help. obviously.

but a child that is perfectly well-behaved, never speaks up for themself, is seen and not heard? that’s a child that’s afraid. they also need help.

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its kinda scary how your whole life depends on how well you do as a teenager 

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This hack will save your teeth: there are no “right” and “wrong” times to brush your teeth.

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*laughs while actually getting feelings hurt*

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Gratitude - Tidying Up With Marie Kondo (2019)

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What is or isn’t a slur can be highly contextual, y'all.

“Jonny Sims bummed a fag off my ma” doesn’t contain a slur, but “What are you, some kind of fag?” does.

“Queer studies”, “the queer community” and “I’m queer”? Not a slur. Some bigot calling you a “dirty queer”? Slur.

“Be gay, do crimes” and “He’s gay” ≠ slur, but “Ew, that’s so gay” = slur.

In conclusion, stop buying into this fucking “q slur” bullshit. Queer people talking about the queer community aren’t using it as a slur any more than a gay man calling himself gay is using that term as a slur.

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Maybe I'm just a big mean genderless hermaphrodite bitch, but holy shit I'm tired of queer people acting like gay men and gay women are two different species. Ditto with "AMAB" vs "AFAB."

Neither of you have societal privilege over the other. You are crabs in a fucking bucket. I am going to get the get-along shirt. Jesus Christ. Will you please pay attention to the real enemy before they drag us back to the era of anti-crossdressing and anti-sodomy laws.

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