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at this point everybody you meet it’s just temporary
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23:23
2019年04月18日
finally, im gonna end some complicated relationship with this guy i have been dating for quite a long time. i am done with him. he said he doesn’t like me going to night club so i stopped going to night club everyday. he said he doesn’t like me getting drunk so i stopped drinking frequently. he is a jealous guy, so every time he sees me with other guys flirting or just being with other guy he was always getting mad and jealous. so i blocked the guys who wanted to date me or like me. i wasn’t his gf yet, but he controlled me too much. but because i liked him, it did not bother me that he was controlling me too much. i am a girl who loves partying, clubbing, drinking and playing with guys. i am not gonna lie, i am gonna be honest. im not a nice girl. some people say im a bitch. but i ignored them. but for him, i tried my best to please him and i tried not to do the things he did not like. even though i did a lot of things for him, at the end.. he chose his ex gf who came back to him. it hurted a lot. how can he choose his ex gf when he controlled me too much and i let him control me? how can he do this to me? how horrible. at first, he said he cannot choose between me and her, but then he said he choose his ex. i really liked him, i did not care if he was poor or not my type, i liked him for who he was. i cried a lot. i cried so much. i couldn’t sleep cause i was crying too much. then i fell asleep while crying. i woke up with my eyes super red and swollen. then.. i forgot about him. probably those tears that came out of my eyes were my feelings for him. i am very tired so im gonna let him go. im gonna detach myself from him. i am ready to leave him. no, i think i already left him. the game is over. im not gonna play it anymore. i am so much better than his small fucking ugly (LOL) ex gf who wants a money from a guy to live her life. i don’t need a guy to give me money to live my life. all i need from a guy is flowers (bouquet), apple and newspaper (i love reading newspaper). i am beautiful, smart, and strong. he does not deserve a girl like me. he will never get me back and he will never meet a unique girl like me. he can regret as much as he can but im not coming back to him because everything is over. i wanna thank him because i learned a lot. and lastly, i hope he won’t be stupid anymore because we only live life once. the end. goodbye.
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13:42
2019年01月27日
so i only have 8 days left here in jpn. at first i rly didnt want to come bk to jpn, i think i already talked abt this in previous posts. i mean to me twn was much more better cause there’s a lot of fun, but i think its normal to think that ur own country is boring cause u’ve stayed there for a long time n u almost know everything so there are no new challenges and discoveries. but im totally having fun lol. im actually quite satisfied and happy to be bk to jpn. i just forgot how fun it is to stay in tokyo. the best part is im not lonely. im living with my family so i dont feel lonely as mush as i did in twn cause i was living alone there. but less freedom now lol which can be stressful.
in 3 weeks my 2nd semester will start, damn, i cant believe its my last semester in twn, so fast. im looking forward to seeing the new exchange students, im rly excited tho.
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19:07
2019年01月25日
im alive. no fever, im all good now. n im going to disney next week weeeeeeeee!!!!!! ... give me money plz somebody. can i have a sugar daddy? lol. i rly need one. im so bored everyday like i wish it was spring/summer here in japan cause winter is srsly killing me. 10 steps of walk outside n i already want to go back to my room. also idk why but 10 steps of walk im already exhausted. im getting old......... also im forgetting chinese yaaayyyy (fuck my brain plz) i mean i was never good in chinese anyways lmaoooooooooo, can i cry? btw i miss the summer of japan. i mean to me taiwan is everyday summer, like even december/january, for me its still hot. the summer of taiwan n japan is different. i rly miss the summer festival, food stand, wearing yukata and doing 青春 stuffs with my lovely peeps in japan! damn 2018′s summer was a good summer. fuck winter. also my brain is hurting cause ive been thinking abt what should i do once im rly back to jpn, i mean when i finished my exchange study, should i do job haunting? or become a graduate student? for now, i rly want to go to taiwan or shanghai’s graduate school. for taiwan probably NCCU, as for shanghai not sure yet but prolly jiao tong uni., well who knows what will happen in the future. but one thing i know is before i can rly plan for mba program, i rly have to be fucking good in chinese, which means i need to stop being a lazy ass n study chinese more
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2:43
2019年01月21日
i got a fucking flu. 2 days ago i thought i was gonna die like i had 40 degrees of fever. at the same time i got my period n my lower stomach was hurting af. what’s more, i couldn’t breath because my nose wouldnt stop running n i was coughing the whole fucking time. no appetite. lastly, i lost my sense of taste. .................... . . ... . ....... why did i even came bk to japan? i was in the bed the whole day. 24/7 hours in the BED. i guess i underestimated the winter of japan because i was away for a long time (bruh only for 4 months) anyways now im okay. no fever, although im still taking 4-5 medicines that tastes like a shit. good thing is i kinda lost weight. i mean i wasnt rly eating anything besides porridge. BUT i dont want this to happen again, dude its too painful, being healthy is the best.
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