xidiotgayboyx - Tumblr blog

[xidiotgayboyx]

entranced by his average pennsylvanian pussy

[xidiotgayboyx]

[xidiotgayboyx]

[xidiotgayboyx]

[xidiotgayboyx]

joe biden: how do i look in this chef hat, giuseppe?

giuseppe, the presidential butler: waifish and breedable as always, muy lord

joe biben: fabulous. pass me the Improbable Meat

[xidiotgayboyx]

yeah boss....yeah we hired a new goon.... he's all ethereal and pretty like a baby fawn sleeping in a morning dew sprinkled clearing with a ray of sunshine spilling right on him through the branches of the trees. just how you like them boss

[xidiotgayboyx]

i want michael mando to treat me mean and spit in my mouth

[xidiotgayboyx]

you're too logged on man your consumption of internet porn has severed your psychospiritual connection with the beauty of the natural land. i spent 10 months in sensory deprivation exclusively cranking it to the gentle soundscape of a babbling brook and now when i hear the tap on a soda machine go off i bust so hard the gas station clerk has to call the police

[xidiotgayboyx]

"i love music i wish i could hold it" well you can it's called a CD and it's got a hole and everything

[xidiotgayboyx]

What I love about Sally is that she is a subversion of the “perfect victim”. She’s not the nicest or most wonderful person you’ve ever met. She doesn’t always tell the truth. She is full of herself, inconsiderate, and a little hot-headed. But, so often in media, victims are portrayed as these perfect people who have done no wrong ever, because the only person who deserves to be felt bad for is someone who has done no wrong themselves. So, you get Sally, who is easy to dislike if the men in all the reviews for the show are anything to go by, and she is a victim. She was abused by almost every man in her life. She ignored the red flags. She spoke about standing up for herself and almost never did. She’s the imperfect victim, and I love her for it.

[xidiotgayboyx]

probably sucked to be will graham when he genuinely thought he just hated hannibal and wanted to kill him. like if he held a knife to his throat hannibal would just be like “ohh what are you gonna do big boy are you gonna slice me open are you gonna watch the life run out of me are you gonna look me in the eyes and feel my blood on your skin. would you reach into my body to touch my organs and feel the way my heart beats. would you penetr-“ like okay you’ve made it weird. I don’t even want to kill you anymore you ruined it. what the fuck

[xidiotgayboyx]

[xidiotgayboyx]

Bringing my favorite toy, a really thorny and slightly rotted branch, through TSA before my 6 hour flight to dollywood, shrieking when they ask me to throw it away

[xidiotgayboyx]

ME: what strain are we smoking FRIEND: it's called Hapsburg Gas. One hit's supposed to make you feel like the master of all Europe ME: i dunno, we're about a bowl in and I don't feel shit FRIEND, FIVE MINUTES LATER: dude. You have a single testicle, black as coal, and your head is full of water. Is that normal for you ME, STRUGGLING TO STAND UPRIGHT OVER THE WEIGHT OF MY JAW: Do you have. My cousin's number

[xidiotgayboyx]

me: if I become the evil overlord I will never harm my minions

[5 years later]

highly throwable imp: hoohoohee

me: hmm

[xidiotgayboyx]

🍀

[xidiotgayboyx]

please no one disturb me I am doing important research on wikipedia dot com today