xiincun

[xiincun]

i think i'm going to revamp jing yuan onto another blog and start fresh with him.... idk i want to write him but his muse is so fickle i feel bad when i don't have the energy to make him work with me

[xiincun]

// trips and falls and @spadilled falls out of my jacket pocket

[xiincun]

;; once again i am going to have to plug my k.o.f.i as i had a woman drive into me on my way home yesterday and we think my car is going to be written off as it's old and decrepit and not worth enough for them to justify fixing it. i have com.misions open on there for simple head shots and such - but honestly even just signal boosting this post would mean the world to me. i'm working as much as i physically can but i just can't seem to make ends meet and can't face the idea of having to sell my horse that i've worked tirelessly for over the past five years because i just can't seem to get enough money behind me no matter what i do....

any help towards funds or even just spreading this around is incredibly gratefully recieved - as is any advice on where to go/what to do - i'm just in such a bad place right now i don't know what i'm meant to do

[xiincun]

;; i swear i'm not dead... life has just been kicking my ass recently and my ability to write in the little down time i've gotten just completely vanished oof

[xiincun]

˗ˏˋdialogue : kissingˎˊ˗

change pronouns as needed!

“god– i wanna kiss you.”

“can i kiss you?”

“just one kiss and i’ll never ask again.”

“let me be your first.”

“it doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“then shut up and kiss me already.”

“hurry up. get it over with.”

“you can kiss my ass.”

“i never kissed before—”

“is this your way of asking me out or—”

“that was better than i thought it would be.”

“one more time?”

“huh. you don’t taste as toxic as i thought you would.”

“you sure that was your first time?”

“shit, i wasn’t supposed to enjoy that as much as i did.”

“that was worse than i thought it would be.”

“you– you want to do it again?”

“alright. never doing that again.”

“did i do it right?”

“you sure that it didn’t mean anything?”

“should we take this elsewhere?”

“let’s go somewhere private.”

“think i wanna do a little more than just kiss.”

“wish we weren’t in public…”

“think of this as a one time thing.”

i never kissed anyone, i hope that isn’t obvious. enjoy :)

[xiincun]

had my first rude customer at work.... not fun. cried.

[xiincun]

;; i think i have caught some kind of bug because i am Not feeling Well at the moment.... i blame pine for giving me their cold

[xiincun]

welt yang is an interesting case. jing yuan finds himself thinking he has the measure of the nameless before he seems to shift again before the general's very eyes and there's a new shade of a person stood before him. this time, he's distracted - almost distant - as he sits across from the arbiter general with what jing yuan can only assume is a question weighted in personal curiosity. still, the lion pauses in his instinct to answer and ease welt's discomfort. the matters of the loufu are his to overlook and mediate... if welt knows of this luocha character, he might be able to offer some kind of insight into how to deal with him. but, on the contrary... what if jing yuan is just opening himself and his people up to outside influence by telling welt of issues that should not concern an outsider?

welt is met with a low hum at first, gilded gaze unmoving from the smaller frame of a man across from him, as jing yuan debates his standing. "a travelling merchant? we have many a merchant board the loufu throughout the year, mr. yang. do you have a description of this merchant?"

@xiincun // ever since seeing those hauntingly familiar green eyes on security footage, that face gnaws on the back of his thoughts. that cunning, sly smile that refuses to stay gone.

gaze tears away from the seat of divine foresight's windows with a quiet noise of frustration. " forgive me if this is .. unprofessional to ask as a guest. " a question that answers nothing outside of personal gains. gold sets on the general with some hesitance -- yet it's not the first or last time that curiosity gets the better of welt yang. " there's a travelling merchant, named luocha. do you know anything about him? "

[xiincun]

"hm. perhaps not. but it would feel better, would it not?" he's not sure why he's asking. golden gaze doesn't shift from where he watches his old friend's features. hoping, praying for some kind of emotion to pass over familiar but different eyes... only to be met with nothing of the kind. jing yuan leans forward minutely, gaze searching those of crimson that watch him back. maybe he just doesn't want to see that face turn away from him again. maybe he just can't take the idea of blade disappearing into memory like that of his old personhood.

"what do you want to be, blade? other than a weapon... other than a vessel for her revenge? there must be something you wish to do with this... second chance?"

                     how typical and  annoying.  to not let go and have him answer that question.  though he should have expected this from his former friend.  hunter merely gives him a look as he remains silent,  perhaps a bit  too long  for it to remain comfortable.         “     no,  i do not want to be a saint.    ”          he eventually replies.  such title would be wasted on someone like him.         “     it would not make a difference.    ”  

[xiincun]

;; i am so eepy all of the time.... working in retail over christmas is so much

[xiincun]

;; coughs......... @gaolerr

[xiincun]

"you can't know. not for sure."

instinct tells the general to rebut dan heng's argument, tells him to distance himself again and promise to find official documents from the time of the quintet, dig up his own journals and offer them up as reading material for when the vidyadhara feels like he can bare to look at it. he does none of those things, though. jing yuan keeps walking, gaze focused on the slow swell and fall of the approaching and retreating tide - leaving nothing but smooth sand and gently rolling pebbles in its wake. he wants to add some kind of flowery explanation - some poetic line he'd read and memorised for this very conversation. but... the truth is that he doesn't have anything like that. not for this... not for now. truthfully, he'd hoped this day might never come. truthfully, jing yuan had hoped that exile would serve as a salve over dan heng's torn past.

"i... do not have a plucky quote or story to tell here, dan heng. i wish i did, really i do," a sigh, he thinks he always knew that this day would come, though. "what i do have, however, is experience and an - unfortunately so - clear memory of what i was witness to those hundreds of years ago. i do not claim to have the whole story - or truly understand what my friend dan feng went through as the high elder... but i want to help. in any way i can."

slowing to a halt, that familiar ache that permeates every inch of the general starts to build in the back of his mind slowly but surely as jing yuan finally turns his attention fully back to the younger man, expression faltering at the final question posed to him. was it? every fibre of the lion's being wants to say that it was. that everything will be right in the end. that they'll all figure it all out bit by bit and find a way to look back on days like this with a kind of softened nostalgia. he wants to look dan heng in the eye and tell him that everything that happened here was worth it and that dan feng can live on in the memories of the people he was close to without fear of what his legacy might become. truthfully, though? jing yuan doesn't know. he doesn't know and he's too tired to try and soften that blow as much as he'd like to. dan heng would just see through his efforts at gentleness, anyway.

"i do not know. i won't lie to you, dan heng. i don't know if it was worth it. i have been asking myself that every day since i was left alone on this island without them."

          the archivist followed in the general’s direction, if only because just being in scalegorge waterscape was an exercise in endurance. donning his own human disguise had never been the same chore it was here, as if his face was a mask, and his short cropped hair and modern clothes were little more than a snakeskin only half discarded. it was like he felt itchy, like his own draconic horns might burst forth from their mystic combines whether dan heng wanted them to or not   (   he still felt the pain of it, lancing through that empty heart, the key to making layers of intricate cloudhymn magic fall by force.   ) either way, he wished to leave, and jing yuan offering the only respite from the fresh scent of death on sea water.

          “   tea.   ”   dan heng agreed, near robotically, following him down the shore, ignoring the phantom visage of a thousand memories overlapping, crowding his mind with how familiar sand felt under soft leather boots.   “   jingliu and yingxing were two of the most brutally honest people in the memories that i can remember.   ”   the vidyadhara’s voice was a soft challenge, compartmentalising what he could felt like catching parchment torn apart by wind, each piece of his memories coming back with more question than answer.   “   the mara has never lied, only twisted what was known.   ”   of five, three must pay a price.   dan heng recalled the coldness of their gazes, how – when not within mara’s grip blade’s eyes were much, much worse than sad or furious, but empty.

          “   …   i know you wish only to help me, general, but   …   how could i ever known what you mean to say is not as skewed as theirs ?   ”   there was pain there, genuine heartache, for the memories of the high cloud quintet were not cut and dry, and the first of them that had become prominent in his mind were only that of continuous, dreadful war.   “   even dan feng was not reliable in the end. he went insane, mara struck, succumbing to the fate of so many high elders before him. he thought all he did, he did for love.   ”

          “   he died believing all his sacrifice would one day be worth it.   ”   eyes of seafoam on gilded hue, unblinking, lost.   “   was it ?   ”

[xiincun]

— farewell… master. your gift of instruction… i repay in this strike!

HONKAI: STAR RAIL (2023) • ANIMATED SHORT: A FLASH production: mihoyo anime • co-production: fantasier animation, studio ppuri  

[xiincun]

"i am a busy man - commanding a place such as the luofu is no mean feat, i'm sure you understand as much?" the stranger backs off a pace and jing yuan stands his ground, back still pressed against the wall and head canted to the side as if to get a better view of his new acquaintance without getting any closer. despite himself, despite the strict security measures the general insists on maintaining for everything and everyone else aboard his home - arbiter general makes no move for his weapon or to call for this mans arrest for attempted assault of an official. no, instead, jing yuan smiles warmly across toward the outsider.

"though, i must say... if it was a simple audience you wished to have with me, would a quiet word not have sufficed? or were you perhaps just hoping to set the tone, shall we call it?" gilded gaze never once wavers from the other man's frame, picking up on every twitch and move made. the posture suggests confidence. is he sure of himself, or just trying to make jing yuan think that he is? questions, questions and no answers - not yet, anyway. not as rounded ear flicks and the lion's tail swishes momentarily behind him, catching at the fabric of his capes as they follow. he doesn't look like he's a native - jing yuan hasn't met him before... he'd recognise a smile like that anywhere - even if it wasn't trying to deflate any tension that might arise between them after that... performance.

"ah, but forgive me - here i am, making excuses for myself while you're still stood there expectantly." pushing off of the wall, the general's movements are graceful as he closes the distance between them and brushes past sampo without hesitation, tail catching the man's elbow briefly on his way past. turning on his heel, jing yuan gestures for sampo to follow him as he walks, keen to distance them from anyone who might have seen their... meeting. "please, let us walk and talk. we're less likely to be interrupted if we stay mobile. that is... if you'll allow me to make up for my neglectful handling of your requests, hm?"

Mercenary's eyes can't help but flick down at the easy smile resting on the General's face. As those jades look back up, teeth bare in a mirthful smirk. Not meant to be prideful nor intimidating, but rather pleased with this minor detail. Intrigue piquing more than it already has been, initially taking an interest in poking agitating the lion based on the word play he's heard in mere passing. This display both a means to achieve a meeting but also see how far he could go while still cloaked by air of mystery.

The outsider knows he's crossing a line, but how it would be dealt with is all he needs to know before the next act in his little performance. ❝ I think that'll suffice~ ❞ His tone doesn't carry any bitterness, it's almost singsongy. Flair as he withdraws dagger, twirling it with practiced ease as he casts it away.

❝ Hardly offended, though it is quite upsetting that it's difficult to have an audience with you, ❞ despite the use of a negative word, he laughs, stepping back as he gives Jing Yuan room to breathe. Hands settle on hips, Sampo seemingly comfortable even after threatening the other. Should he be in hiding, considering the meticulous work of the Realm-Keeping Commission ? He's not sure that he'll continue to poke around to find that out if Jing Yuan doesn't deal with him in some other manner.

❝ My dear General, I didn't cause you any harm, did I ? I apologize for my brash approach, but I had a feeling you'd overlook little ol' me. ❞

[xiincun]

---- 心存 ; xīncún ; heart remaining ----

---- a private, selective. independent jing yuan rp blog ; PENNED BY NEV ----

[xiincun]

brow furrows, easy smile fading as their eyes meet and jing yuan is met with a decidedly neutral expression. ah. he'd hoped blade would give him some kind of reaction. nevermind. rounded ear atop his head flicks as the general leans his chin against the heel of his hand. "forgive my bluntness, but... i don't think that's the question i asked, blade. do you want to be a saint?"

                     did he even want to be such thing ?  the mere motion of it would make him laugh,  but instead his expression remains neutral as he turns towards the general.         “     over 600 years too late for that,  don't you think ?    ”          that and the fact that there is a 8,13 billion bounty on his head.  

[xiincun]

𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓 𝐀 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒.

lads if i ever have to type “pin against the wall” ever again in this lifetime, it’ll be too soon, but i really hope you enjoy these!! if you think of more that you would like to be added, let me know! please do NOT add more in the reblogs, it is VERY likely that i can and will be making a second part to this list! now go drink some water and i hope y’all enjoy the memes!

LAST EDITED: 01/06/22

[ KISS ]:     sender pins receiver against the wall and kisses them passionately.

[ ANGER ]:     sender pins receiver against the wall out of anger.

[ CHALLENGE ]:     in a motion designed to challenge the receiver’s authority, sender pins receiver against the wall.

[ TRAINING ]:     during a sparring match, sender ends up pinning the receiver against the wall.

[ HEAT ]:      while in the middle of a make-out session, sender pushes the receiver up against the wall, unwittingly heating things up even more.

[ SHIELD ]:     in order to protect them from physical harm caused by a third party, the sender shoves the receiver against the wall and shields them with their body.

[ COVER ]:     while hiding from persecutors, sender pushes the receiver against a wall and uses their body to hide the receiver’s face from view.

[ HIDE ]:     while on the run, the sender hastily grabs the receiver and pins them against a wall that’s hidden from public view to avoid being seen.

[ STOP ]:     in order to stop the receiver from walking away, the sender guides them back and pushes them against a wall.

[ FIGHT ]:     while in a physical fight, sender shoves the receiver against the wall in an effort to gain the upper hand.

[ RESTRAIN ]:     sender pushes the receiver back against the wall to stop them from physically fighting the sender.

[ STEADY ]:     sender gently catches and guides the emotionally distressed receiver against a wall in order to physically steady them.

[ CLOSER ]:     while pinning the receiver against the wall, sender glances down at their lips, suddenly aware of how close they are to one another…

[ THROAT ]: sender pins the receiver to the wall by placing a hand or forearm against their throat.

[ FRONT ]: sender shoves the receiver against the wall so that the receiver’s front is pressed against the wall.

[ WHISPER ]: sender pins the receiver against a wall in order to whisper something into their ear (either a secret or in a manner of seduction).

[ FEAR ]: in order to frighten or intimidate the receiver, the sender shoves them back against a wall, positioning themselves so that the receiver can’t get out.

[ HUSH ]: as a means of getting the receiver to stay quiet, the sender covers their mouth and ends up shoving them into a wall in their urgency.

[ FALL ]: while pinning them against the wall, a brief tussle results in the sender and receiver falling over, with the sender pinning the receiver to the ground.

[ DECEPTION ]: while pinning them against the wall during a public fight, the sender uses the close proximity to secretly reveal that they’re still on the receiver’s side.

[ POWER ]: sender unexpectedly uses their powers to push and pin the receiver against the wall.