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past
To be very honest, i am done with my past relationship. But i kept thinking what could have been if i had all those years to myself? Will i be the person i am today? Or better? worse?
Today i revisited my private account where i’ve kept and uploaded all our -past- photos. Look how much we’ve grown. 6 years is a long time, and you were the one who saw me grow the most to whom i am today. From graduation, to your enlistment, first job- wow! I was thankful for such a supporting partner. Back then, true most days i was happy and i bet you were too. Did we grew out of it? Did i? But we both knew it aint it,i was toxic. I guess fate has other plans for us but look, we are now free and i hope you are doing well too.
I can never be more apologetic at how i was and how i ended things. I knew it was shallow, but i asked myself, how else? I’m still haunted by the guilt, but knowing all falls into place eventually, eased my sorrow. I knew you loved me, and that pains me to do so.
I dont blame anyone for thinking i am the bad one in the relationship. Cos yes, i admit i am toxic, but i truly believe in my deepest of heart we dont belong to each other no matter how hard we tried to make it work. & that i have to give myself credits, for pushing through when i already knew it wont work out. But i hope that despite everyone’s thoughts, you’d still able to understand and see where i’m coming from.
But it sucks, sucks to know how bad you were talking about me. Didnt we agree, to keep mum about one another. Knowing how you easily let people know my bad side just fucking hurts bro.But that aside, you were hurt too. I need to understand. These friends of yours that you are so very much close to now- yes theyre your “type” but you knew why i didn’t like it when you were around them. But that’s not my problem now, but i hope we can respect each other enough to keep it seal. We both know that we have our own flaws.
I build up all these in me, i just dont know where to let out. And now that i finally did, i pray that the both of us find our ultimate happiness in our next relationship.
Here’s to burying the hatchet.
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Waterdeep Otho has some changes going on, so here’s a new portrait for him.
Also, long time no music, so a link to his [playlist]
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