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[xreiiixc]

Day #731

February 9, 2019

Hey. It’s been a long while since I wrote to you. Went to visit you yesterday. You showed us you knew we were there again. I honestly thought it wouldn’t happen again, but you made the sun shine for the first time all day, even though it was still raining. God, I love you. There was a rainbow too. You are at the end of the rainbow. It’s you. The mood was so different compared to last year. We were laughing and joking around. I knew you wanted us to be happy. I knew you didn’t want us to cry over you. There were definitely still tears, but I hope when we were laughing you were laughing along with us. Anyway, so much has changed since September. I have a boyfriend lmao. Tomorrow will be 3 months with him. He reminds me of you a lot, honestly. He’s constantly smiling and joking around. He doesn’t like it when people see him cry. He knows how to cook pretty well, and I told him I’d teach him how to bake, just like you taught me. I miss you so much. We had a narrative unit in English and I wrote my final narrative about the time we went to visit you last year. Sam wrote an amazing, beautiful poem for you that made all of us cry. I really wish I could talk to you again, just maybe, like, 5 minutes with you would be awesome. Breaks my heart knowing that you’ll always be 13. You’ll never experience highschool or have your first kiss or stress about finals. It’s okay. I’ve come to terms with what happened, and I’m okay with it. Finally. I know you know we’ll always come back. I just miss you a lot. I have Formal to go to tonight, and I wish you could be there with me. You probably wouldn’t like it, but who knows? I thought I wouldn’t like Homecoming but turns out I did. Anyway, I miss you so much. Thank you for showing us you knew we were there again. We really needed it. I love you so much. Rest easy, Irene. Love you lots <3

-Rei

[xreiiixc]

2019 is gonna be a slutty year I promise you

[xreiiixc]

Day #582

September 13, 2018

Holy shit, I’m so sorry it’s been so long since I last wrote. I tried writing during school earlier today but the service is so shitty there that it didn’t send oh fuck okay. Okay I’m sorry. It’s been almost 600 days without you and I miss you like hell. I don’t really remember what I said in my letter earlier today but it was stuff about school I guess. School is pretty shit honestly. I’m in sophomore year but I keep thinking about how you never graduated middle school. Breaks my heart. There’s this girl that looks like you. She has the same shape glasses and same body type I guess and maybe the same clothing style you’d have if you were still here today. I don’t know. Her voice isn’t the same. Your voice was so unique and I can’t believe that most of the time I wanted you to shut up but now I would give anything to hear your voice one more time. God, I’m sorry. When I first saw this girl, it caught me off guard so bad. I couldn’t stop staring and I felt bad. I still can’t stop staring sometimes and I still feel bad. I don’t know. I’ve had these thoughts for about a month now about what I would say if I were to write a book about you. Different scenarios and whatever. I know how i’d describe everything, how I’d say everything, but there are still holes missing, and maybe that’s why I haven’t started writing it yet. Maybe I’ll do it for nanowrimo. Maybe not, who knows? I think it’s a good thing that the other post didn’t go through, because that was before I had my English class and found out we had to do a comic-type project where we had to make it say something about us and who we are as a person. Pretty sure I’m choosing you. I don’t really know why, it just feels really important to me, like someone out there needs to know about you other than my friends. They already know how great you were, I need to tell everyone how great you were. I miss you so much. The things I would do if I had the chance to bring you back for one day, one hour, 5 minutes, 1 minute, if I could just see you again. I miss you a lot. I wonder how often we’d hang out if you were still here. With all this highschool shit, I don’t know. I hope I do your story justice for my English project. It’s what you deserve. I miss you so much. I love you lots <3

-Rei

[xreiiixc]

Day #537

July 30, 2018

It’s almost 3 am. I honestly don’t know why I’m up. I’ve missed you a lot these past few days. A few days ago, my mom and I were talking about how she doesn’t want to regret not going back to Taiwan during this upcoming winter break or spring break because apparently my grandfather isn’t doing that great. I told her that if she has the chance and opportunity to go and she wants to, then she should go. Because that’s probably my #1 regret with you. There were weekends and moments where I could’ve seen you, but decided not to because I thought I’d be able to just see you the next time. I wonder what would’ve happened if I changed my mind before the last time I saw you. I probably would hate myself a bit (a lot) more. Mom didn’t understand though, she though it was because I was scared. Although that’s not entirely incorrect, I think it was mainly because I was in denial that you were eventually going to pass on and was pushing it aside. Maybe that was driven by fear. I don’t know. I just miss you. I have a dog now. Her name is Mochi, she’s almost 12 weeks, and she’s so tiny. Especially compared to Cody. I loved Cody so much. I wonder what would’ve happened if he lived longer, if you lived longer, if I got my dog sooner. They would’ve been great friends. Probably. Your aunt told my mom a while ago that she still has some stuff that was yours and is willing to give Sav and your other friends and me if we asked. As much as I want something of yours to remind me of you, I don’t know if it’ll just make me more sad or bring me more acceptance. I don’t know. I just really miss you. I know you were scared at times about going, and that hurts. I didn’t want you to be scared. You were so strong. Stronger than I’ll ever be. I love you so fucking much. I’ll never forget you, I promise. I know it’s been a while, but I haven’t forgotten. I love you lots <3

-Rei

[xreiiixc]

Felt it in my youth, feel it when I’m old.

[xreiiixc]

Boys are allowed to be feminine and that includes trans boys, pass it on. Girls are allowed to be masculine and that includes trans girls, pass it on. Nonbinaries are allowed to use feminine or masculine expression, pass it on.

[xreiiixc]

I think we can all agree to this

[xreiiixc]

Day #492

June 15, 2018

You know, it’s close to 1:30 AM and I wonder what life would be like if you were still here. I mean, people change all the time. I’m definitely not the same person i was back in February 2017 and you wouldn’t be the same person you were in February 2017 either. I’m not the same person i was an hour ago. I guess the reason i bring this up is because one of my favorite bands released their new album today. I wonder if you were still in good health and coming over to my house every weekend what our hangouts would’ve consisted of. I’d probably be screaming about bands, because that’s who I am right now. Two years ago, you’d be talking about movies and YouTube and video games and baking. I would probably be talking about YouTube as well, but I guess lately I’ve just been wondering what would’ve changed if you weren’t gone. I’ve definitely come closer to accepting what happened, but I still miss you a lot. I don’t know. My friend called me today and they were crying because their dog had to get put down. The whole time they were talking to me, I just kept thinking about what I wanted someone to say to me when Sav and I found out about you. But I couldn’t think of anything, so I just stayed silent. I felt so bad though. No one deserves to go through that. At least they got to say goodbye. But who knows, maybe that’s worse than what happened with you. I never got to say goodbye. Sometimes it just feels like a loose end that’ll never get tied. I never had closure. Everything was sudden. But like I said, who knows? Would things really be that different if I had gotten to say goodbye? No one knows. Anyway, I just wanted to say hi, I guess. It’s been a long time since I’ve written to you, and I can’t sleep so I just decided to do this. I don’t know. I miss you. I love you lots <3

-Rei

[xreiiixc]

[xreiiixc]

Mikey: What’s up with Frank? He’s been laying on the ground for like fifteen minutes.

Ray: He’s just a little overwhelmed.

Mikey: Why?

Ray: Gerard giggled.

[xreiiixc]

I love that I keep seeing that support post for Common Language Bookstore, and thought that people might want to spread that love to their local. LGBT+ bookstores are a dying breed, but they don’t have to be!

Gay’s the Word (London, UK)**

Les Mots à la Bouche (Paris, FR)

Violette & Co (Paris, FR)

Eisenherz (Berlin, DE)

Erlkoenig (Stuttgart, DE)

Vrolijik (Amsterdam, NL)

Cómplices (Barcelona, ES)

Berkana (Madrid, ES)

Löwenherz (Vienna, AT)

The Bookshop Darlinghurst (Sydney, AU)

Hares & Hyenas (Melbourne, AU)

Little Sister’s (Vancouver, CA)

Glad Day (Toronto, CA)

Common Language (Ann Arbor, MI, USA)

Outwords (Milwaukee, WI, USA)

Charis (Atlanta, GA, USA)

A Room of One’s Own (Madison, WI, USA)

Bureau of General Services - Queer Division (New York, NY, USA)

Giovanni’s Room (Philadelphia, PA, USA)

Faubourg Marigny (New Orleans, LA, USA)

Voces en Tinta (Mexico City, MX)

Gingin (Taipei, TW)

**on 18/04/18 the front window of GtW was smashed in an act of vandalism, which does happen quite frequently. While their online store gets up-and-running, they have a mail order service available! Details on website!

This list is probably not exhaustive, just what I managed to find with a little bit of searching. If you know of one that’s not on this list, leave a comment!

Help spread the word and support LGBT+ small businesses ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[xreiiixc]

appreciation post for michael because this dude has been serving nothing but looks in 2017

[xreiiixc]

IM SOBBING

[xreiiixc]

luke falling…

[xreiiixc]

help a black trans girl survive w/o help from her bullshit dad

hi im sugar and i made a post prior to this about my situation. Long story short, my dad (a black man) finally had his long-awaited mixed baby casey (here she is my lil sis 💕)

and has decided that he longer wants to talk to, support or acknowledge me (his fully black, dark skinned, trans daughter) and refuses to help me and my mother pay for college. and ive always noticed that he was off about me, that he was kinda distant and deeply and vocally dissatisfied w me as a whole but who woulda thought huh lmao.

heres what he said to me (i blurred out the deadnaming and misgendering bc i hear it enough from him on the rare occasions i have to talk to him):

heres what he said to my mother about me and what my mom said to him:

and yes my mom saying we dont need help is so freaking untrue. we’re poor and my dad is the one making bank and im so freaking worried that i may have to drop out of school but if i do im worried i might never go back and honestly waking up these days is really really fucking hard lol.

my dad is keeping my sister from me, left me n my mother to struggle w paying for school and on top of that hes no longer going half for my hormones w my mom so really everything is effed lmaooo!

i’ve raised about 650 on tumblr with the help of everyone that that helped finish covering my room and meal plan and the bill is halfway paid.

heres what my bill looks like for this semester.

here what we paid and what we owe:

im trying to get a job on campus so i can help pay alongside my mom but my full time status may make it hard. at the very least i just wanna pay off this semester and if i have to drop out then ig i will so ty for anything anyone can do to help.

if you can please please donate or reblog or send me some nice messages bc at this point anything helps me stay grounded and hopeful

ty for ur time.

[xreiiixc]

Day #436

April 20, 2018

It would’ve been your 15th birthday today. I miss you so much. I wonder what you would’ve done this year. I still have pictures from your 13th birthday on my wall. I remember that day. It wasn’t on your birthday, but it was celebrating your birthday, so it’s close enough. Ha, I remember your friends and I were singing into the karaoke machine you got. It was the same one as me, except mine broke. I wonder if your aunt still has it. I remember asking Savannah this same question when she was sleeping over one night during the summer: what do you do with the belongings of the person who’s died? What happened to all your clothes and electronics and pusheens? I miss you. Remembering that day two years ago, I keep thinking that you’re right next door and I can just text you and you’d respond. But you won’t and you never will. You never even lived past 13. What type of fucked up world is this? I don’t know. I just miss you and I wish you lived long enough to at least see your 14th birthday. I miss you. I love you lots <3

Happy birthday.

-Rei

[xreiiixc]

reblog if ur a cryptid gen z-millennial like me (born between 1994-2003)