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[xroseofmay-blog]

on selectivity & why being selective or private is not the same as “elitism”:

there are a few other posts like this out there but this became relevant & i felt the need to do a small write up on this.

if you’ve been in indie rp long or even just a little while it’s likely you’ve seen the words “selective” and / or “private” ( sometimes both at the same time ) floating around. if you’ve been in indie rp long then you’ve also probably seen the word “elitist” floating around as well, often times when describing specific rpers or fandoms that are particularly selective & / or private. 

some people might not know what this means but here’s a run down of how i have seen most people describe it:

selective:

can be choosy with who they choose rp with

private:

only roleplays with mutual followers ( meaning they follow their rp partner and their rp partner follows them )

BEING SELECTIVE AND / OR PRIVATE IS NOT THE SAME AS ELITISM.

it’s understandable that some people may take it as a personal slight when an rper who is private & / or selective chooses not to rp with them, but don’t be confused. it isn’t. selectivity is not elitism. elitism in the way it is most commonly used by people in the rp community tends to paint roleplayers labelled it as “snobbish” aka: “one who despises, ignores, or is patronizing to those they consider inferior”. 

selectivity can come across as being ignoring of those who are “inferior” but the truth of the matter is more often than not the selectivity of a particular roleplayer or fandom has more to do with the any number of the following:

they have had bad past experiences and retain selectivity in order to keep themselves safe & comfortable

they have anxiety 

they have a lot of followers and therefore a lot of potential threads & are attempting to keep things orderly & under control as to not become overwhelmed

they prefer an uncluttered dash to keep anxiety at a minimum

they have anxiety & prefer to stay within a certain group of people because it helps them feel safe & comfortable

they have trouble maintaining muse if their writing doesn’t mesh well with the other person

they have trouble maintaining muse if they feel they can’t get along with the other mun ooc

so basically what i’m saying is writers are selective & private NOT because they feel you are inferior or are “elitist” but because:

roleplaying is a hobby

selectivity helps keep that hobby fun, safe, comfortable & easy to maintain for them

IT IS RARELY IF EVER a personal slight against you or because they do not like you specifically. it is almost always because of one of the reasons listed above. selectivity helps maintain an individuals rp space safe, fun, comfortable, a hobby what roleplaying is.

please stop making those who are selective & / or private feel guilty for maintaining these things. being turned down to roleplay with someone can be disheartening but in my experience it is rarely a personal slight against you and can be for any number of reasons outside of it. making that roleplayer feel guilty for turning you down is a manipulative and not good thing to do and is actually more than likely a part of WHY so many roleplayers are selective & / or private. making people feel guilty for maintaining their hobby and keeping it a hobby for them kind of defeats the purpose of roleplay. 

additionally, NO ONE OWES YOU AN EXPLANATION for why they do not want to write with / follow you. i understand that can be a hard pill to swallow but more often than not in my personal rp experience, explaining to someone why i do not want to write with / follow them has led to unnecessary drama or them being unnecessarily rude about it when i have been nothing but polite. you are not ever owed an explanation for why these things are. explaining those things can cause those rpers unnecessary anxiety, stress, & drama that– once again– makes roleplay less of a hobby than it should be.

people have the right to not want to roleplay and / or follow you. the sooner you accept that that is not against you personally, the easier this hobby will become, trust me.

additionally, even if people don’t like you specifically or your writing that is THEIR OPINION which they are entitled to & which may impact whether or not they want to write with you & that still doesn’t really make them elitist, it just means they have a personal preference that you don’t fit. it might be a hard reality check, but roleplay doesn’t revolve around you or me or anyone. all of us will be faced with people no matter who we are who do not like our writing, our choice in muse, our characterization, who we are ooc,  AND THAT IS PERFECTLY HUMAN & OKAY. if that happens, you are still not allowed to make them feel guilty for that. actually, you’re allowed to, no one can stop you, it just still doesn’t make it any less inappropriate for you to make people feel bad about their preferences or get haughty about it and label it “elitist” because god forbid someone doesn’t like you or your writing or is selective in a way that excludes you.

the bottom line is — selectivity is for comfort, safety, & to keep things fun. whether a selective rpers choice not to roleplay with you is because they don’t like you specifically or not doesn’t matter. it doesn’t make it elitist. and it is NEVER appropriate to make people feel guilty over these things.

guilt tripping & starting conflict over selectivity does not help things. it makes people feel guilty, it actually contributes to that selectivity, it’s petty and  it causes anxiety & unnecessary stress to a HOBBY ( god how many times do i need to remind people this is a hobby and not a job ).

something that’s ESPECIALLY important is that seeing as selectivity can many times directly tie in to an individuals mental health ( re: anxiety, depression, etc. ) guilt tripping is ESPECIALLY bad & can have severely negative impacts on those things. ignoring this is a really crap thing to do & hurts a lot of people & just in general perpetuates some nasty things. selectivity can be a tool to help with anxiety and depression as well as other mental health things that impact how people roleplay and spend their time here. guilt tripping applies to that in really bad ways and, again, calling selectivity “elitist” applies to those things as well. something i wish more people would keep in mind.

FURTHERMORE, HOWEVER, YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO ANYONE’S TIME. NO ONE IS OBLIGATED TO ROLEPLAY WITH OR FOLLOW YOU. DON’T MAKE PEOPLE FEEL BAD ABOUT THESE THINGS IT’S NOT COOL.

[xroseofmay-blog]

you know what im tired of? those posts that go: “reasons why im a feminist” or “reasons why y’all are fucking nasty”  and the first thing on the list is “because people ship x couple”

like fucking, the world is literally on fire, and the thing you’re most upset about???? is people thinking two fictional characters would be cute together??? or would like to see them fuck?????

what is wrong with your priorities??. “but its problematic, its abusive!!” alright cool?. its fiction. the world is full of actual problems? and this is your biggest concern?? shipping??? are you serious??? this is what you spend your time and energy fighting people over?? people are dying and being percecuted and we have to put up with having to explain to you “pinnacles of true justice!” that fiction isnt real. for the millionth time!!

“but its been proven that fiction has an effect on reality!” well fuck me in the ass jessica, everything has an influence on everything! should we stop writing anything but sweet coffee shop stories in the hopes that we will prevent someone from commiting murder if they read or watch a violent scene?? or should we start to accept the fact that people who think its ok to hurt people bc of fictional influences, would probably have hurt people anyways since they clearly have no grasp on social standarts or morals? are we gonna stop blaming fiction and actually blame the guilty party some time soon?? why would you take the responsibility away from the person by blaming fiction?? 

if you dont like a ship thats fine. you dont have to. if a ship makes you uncomfortable because of certain dynamics thats valid, and you shouldnt feel bad about blocking people and blacklisting tags. if you think a ship is problematic and you want to inform people of this thats cool (maybe keep it out of the pairing tag tho)  but if you think spending your time persecuting people for what they ship is a worthy cause on your “morally correct social justice agenda” then you really have an issue.

think about your priorities. you wanna fight someone in the name of social justice!!!™ go square up with your racist uncle or something and let people think fictional couples are cute in peace???

and i can just see he comments: “oooh so you support abuse/other prolematic behavior then?” no? “ooooh so you’re an abuse/other problematic behavior apologist then??” no!? i just want you to leave people alone to enjoy their fiction and their fictional pairings in peace? but sure put your buzzword accusations on me if it makes you feel better about your poor life choices. how about you went to a demonstration for equal rights if you wanna do something good in the world huh? instead of, ya know, bullying people online for finding fictional couples cute.

and dont even get me fucking started on the whole “you’re a pedophile!” phase this site is in. you’ve successfully turned one of the most severe accusations into another buzzword. its almost impressive. meanwhile while you’re screaming “protect the children” and “you filthy pedophile!” at ppl for shipping 16, 17 year olds, everyone from other countries than america (you know where the legal age is anywhere between 15 and 21) are rolling their eyes so far back into their heads that its actually starting to hurt. you do know that according to your logic, the population of like half of the worlds countires are pedophiles? you do know that right?

so if you’re considering dragging someone for a ship, please conisder alternatives such as: going  outside. decking your racist uncle. kicking your homophobic neighbor in the nuts. doing something productive. thank you that was all.

[xroseofmay-blog]

IT COSTS YOU $0.00 TO BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING

[xroseofmay-blog]

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.

Robert Frost, from ‘Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening’ (via seabois)

[xroseofmay-blog]

[xroseofmay-blog]

// ... Nooo...

There may come a time soon where there are no more polar bears on the Earth, but still some on the Coke bottle.

[xroseofmay-blog]

// Últimamente estoy en modo “por mí como si te mueres” con todo el mundo. Which is fair porque es justo la actitud que mucha gente tiene conmigo.

¿Inicios de año? Me estaba ahogando en depresión y ansiedad y un mental breakdown, y en un trabajo que no podía soportar, y sólo hubo unas tres o cuatro personas conmigo, todos los demás se desaparecieron. ¿Mediados? Lo mismo.

Así que sí, tengo derecho a ser tan perra como me plazca. Llevo años siendo buena gente. It's over now. Fucking over.

Le he pegado bofetadas a gente que me dobla la estatura, le restregué el racismo en cara a un imbécil que e creía con derecho a gritarme en el trabajo, y no tengo miedo de ser una maldita.

Everyone is gonna fucking hear me scream.

[xroseofmay-blog]

“Politeness is deception in pretty packaging.”

-Slytherin

[xroseofmay-blog]

[xroseofmay-blog]

cute shippy starters

[xroseofmay-blog]

How does a Japanese dog say hi? Konichihuahua

[xroseofmay-blog]

The Rule of 3

There are 3 things your character needs to survive, no matter what the situation is: food, water and shelter. Well, and air, of course.

The Rule of 3 means that a human can only survive.

3 minutes without air. If your character can’t breathe, if they’re drowning for example, they can’t draw in the oxygen their blood needs, but most importantly, they can’t expel the carbon dioxide that is slowly poisoning them.

3 hours without shelter. I know this may seem trivial compared to food and water, but in extreme conditions, like freezing in the Arctic or baking in the desert, it wouldn’t take much for the environment to kill your character. Finding shelter protects your character from the elements. I would even go as far as to include fire and clothing in this section. Anything your character can use to protect themselves from the brutality of nature is going to increase their chances of survival.

3 days without water. Dehydration is a nasty, painful way to die. Without water, their body slowly starts using what fluid they have in their urine, their blood, and their sweat to keep their motor running. Eventually, that fluid runs out, their organs fail and they die.

3 weeks without food. Everybody knows we need food to live. It provides your character with the energy they need to secure everything else on this list. Without food, your characters body will essentially start to cannibalize itself. It digests the nutrients from parts of their body to fuel the other parts. Your character can go longer without food than water, but without the energy to find water, your character is doomed either way.

In the following weeks I will be making master posts highlighting all of these things with example scenarios and suggestions for getting your character out alive.

[xroseofmay-blog]

Send me 🎼 and I’ll answer with an INSTRUMENTAL song that reminds me of your muse

If the symbol isn’t displaying send “instrumental” instead!

[xroseofmay-blog]

// Me va a dar hype con Game of Thrones, lo presiento en el fondo de mi inexistente alma. 

NADIE ME DÉ SPOILERS.

[xroseofmay-blog]

ship with me you cowards

[xroseofmay-blog]

Some Harry Potter sketches 

[xroseofmay-blog]

Reblog if your 18+

AND DON’T LIE.