xtinak-rules - Tumblr blog

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WANNA COME TO A RED CARPET PREMIERE WITH ME???!

hey tumblr people, you're the best section of my fanbase as far as I'm concerned cause you get the real weird shit soooooooo

wanna come to the premiere of Dracula's Ex-Girlfriend in Hollywood???!!!! :P I'm giving away free tickets!

Share the trailer with the tag #DEX to be entered into the draw. We'll pick names out of a hat on Friday!

Premiere Deets

9th of September, Hollywood, Los Angeles, California

You have to sort your own flights and accommodation lol

Tickets include a +1 so you can bring a friend

You'll get a bunch of DEX Merch Swag

Dress Code: Gothic Black Tie :P

Adults only

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Please Listen To Me 💔🙏

I really need your help to rescue my children to a safe place as soon as possible🥹

You Can Help By Donating, Sharing, Or Reblog 🥹🙏.

Note : Verified by

@90-ghost , @aces-and-angels , @ibtisams , @heba-20 , @northgazaupdates , @riding-with-the-wild-hunt

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Important post

I was getting suspicions but now I'm very 100% sure that most of this website's userbase hates Palestinians and not passively. I'm now fully 100% comprehending that the vast majority of this website's userbase passes by any mention of Palestinians and seethes to their core and the only reason little of it came out was because you thought there might be social repercussions for attacking Palestinians in our time of need. All it took was an easily debunkable false accusation to get people to attack people undergoing genocide as well as a genocide survivor, and now he's been stopped from doing the work he has spent months doing. I will not allow this experience to go undocumented or forgotten. Those who partook in the harassment know what they've done and the unspeakable repurcussions of it. I expected this honestly, because that is exactly what happened to BLM and other Black rights activists since 2014; a cycle of unbelievable praise before horrendous abuse and harassment once they stopped being deified. I also saw the way people treated Moataz Azaiza after he evacuated Ghazzah, and expected the same to happen to Ahmed, who also survived unspeakable things for months in an accelerated genocide, and got harassed and attacked by the THOUSANDS on tumblr after this harassment campaign was put out. I will not forgive any one involved, especially not for what they've done to Ahmed.

Here's a collection of links to posts about the issue in the past couple of days, in chronological order I think. And under the cut will be screenshots of the initial post that I saw that brought this to my attention.

[Post 1] [Post 2] [Post 3] [Post 4] [Post 5]

[Post 6] [Post 7] [Post 8] [Post 9] [Post 10]

[Post 11] [Post 12] Edit: forgot one [Post 13].

These links are absolutely non-exhaustive and there's more shit these people have said that I don't have the patience to go collect and link here.

Honorable mention for white victim-playing after leading a hate-campaign against Palestinians surviving genocide:

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sometimes the things are I am most scared turn me on the most.

I formally split up the kink gear that I had co-purchased with my last (and first) sub. I felt kind of bad for a bit but god I hope they get some use out of it. It certainly wasn’t getting any use sitting around my collection abd I would rather than use it with someone else.

This sounds like I’m being amicable, I just think they are super hot and would love for them to fuck someone else. They aren’t into me like that anymore (I am still into them, at least physically, but I get to see them in hot outfits all the time and they are chill with me lusting after them)

That sounds so basic, but I seem to be horny only when I know someone deeply and I know them super well. I would life to find someone who wants to fuck daily or near daily but it’s got to the right person and that hasn’t come together yet

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So this was originally an addition to another post but it wasn't making the same point despite being on the same topic but I'd still like to share it

A year ago in a little bout of mania I started doing some work archiving early trans web content. One of the sites I found was called Dragscape, and it was pretty explicitly a site for chasers more than it was a site for TS/TG/CD/TV girls themselves.

If you're interested in my writeup of the site, you can find that here, but one of the articles I had found was from a self described "trannychaser" posted August 2002. Genuinely one of the most interesting reads of my life:

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Memes that I make while white christian women give me confused smiles

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This fundraiser has been at a very low amount for a long time. I feel like it needs to be spotlighted and pushed forward. This individual's children have hemophilia and in the case of a cut or other issue they do not have the possibility of treatment and could die. He recently faced hospitalization for malnutrition, kidney infection, and low blood sugar all at once. Please please please send money their way. Spare a few $ today and send it to this fundraiser. (In the link CW: photo of a child with blood on face if you scroll all the way down)

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For any Black Trans/LGBT+ who needs some help!! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤

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A cute guy likes me on a dating app. After chatting with them for weeks, we decide to go on a date. They are very flirtatious and forward over the app, but not when we meet in person. He admits he thought I was transmasc like him, we laugh about it because his mistake is funny and means I'm not passing but in a silly backwards way. I think his sudden awkwardness in person may be nervousness and flirt with him in ways less forward and aggressive than he'd been flirting with me earlier, and they become cold and distant for the rest of the date. By the time I get home they've blocked me on the app we met on. This case of being mistaken as a transmasc on a dating app will happen 3 more times, and in 2/3 times it results in a similar sudden lack of interest where once they were coming on to me. None of these people will be cis.

I am in a self defense class for queer people, learning hand to hand combat as a community. I have been here months. I notice I'm the only transfem in the classes but there are other trans people there so I don't think much of it. Today I have some stubble as I did not have time to shave before the early morning class. When discussing unrealistic action movie and anime fight scenes I describe on of my favorites, quoting the lines as I pantomime the goofy moves. They smile and laugh along until the word bitch leaves my lips in one quote, then the bisexual woman who only ever they/thems me glares at me like I've committed a grevious crime, and the rest of the class looks at me like a freak in awkward silence for a moment before moving on. I learn bitch is not a word a clocky bitch can "reclaim". I am quiet in classes now, and when I go I focus primarily on the training, when I see other trans women try it out they often give me a sad look and do not return for a second class. I get a sinking feeling that if I ever use this training to save my life one day I'd be branded a violent man instead of a strong woman.

I am texting with a good friend of years who was one of the people who helped me realize I was trans like them and even the one who helped pick out my name loves talking about our shared interests and sharing their favorite smut with me. We bond over favorite stories, artists, characters, and kinks as well as our trans experience. Yet they constantly tell me they could never date someone who's AMAB because of the trauma of being "female socialized" and their genital preferences for vulvas. Every compliment they have ever given me on my appearance or outfit is followed up by "but in a non-sexual way, I could never date you". Today I finally have the courage tell them they don't need to say that every time. They ignore this response. We keep talking for awhile, but they start taking months to respond to my messages and respond with a short sentence at most. They no longer share details about their life and shut me out when I ask or share details about mine, even the most mundane and chaste details. I stop talking to them. A birthday gift I bought them months before this falling out happened looms at me in my closet. I cannot use it as it doesn't fit me but can't bring myself to throw it away, just in case we reconcile one day. I feel pathetic for craving friendship with someone who sees me as "abuser-bodied", that so much of my early stages would've been impossible without their help. I feel a little more lost without them.

I am at a queer/trans/enby kink dance party with some friends. I am scantily clad and wearing a skirt and high heeled boots. I do not pass well so this space is one of the few places I feel safe and free dressing like this. It is packed with queer and trans people just like me engaged in delightful debauchery and wearing very little. The music hurts my ears but I'm happy to be here, I feel overstimulated but alive and authentic. I am approached by a beautiful stranger from across the dance floor, she is graceful and stylish, like some modern Galadriel clad in leather, white lace, and industrial piercings with impeccable voice training. She compliments my outfit, I compliment hers. She tells me I need to shave my armpits if I want to look like a real woman. My two friends stand up for me and yell at her. They assure me she was just being an asshole, that women were supposed to be hairy, but I can't help but notice how both of them have hairy armpits and yet the "advice" targeted me. The wide range of bodies that people here tonight find desirable on cis women don't seem to apply to the women like me. I am the only one of us that doesn't go home with a hookup at the end of the night. I realize now she likely spoke from experience. I am still hurt by her words, but realizing the kinds of experiences she must have had herself to feel her words were kind advice hurts far worse.

A local queer photographer who's work I follow is looking for women & non-binary models for a photoshoot. I have become comfortable with getting photos taken of me for the first time in my life since my egg cracked, and had a few small time modeling gigs under my belt. With something like this I could actually have the beginnings of a portfolio. I reach and am told that they are not looking for trans women models, "only women and AFABs". Getting the same line I get from agencies from an independent queer photographer repackaged in "woke" terminology stings. I see many queer and nonbinary models I looked up to take part in the shoot. I have to wonder if they knew that the photographer's definition of woman didn't include trans women, or if like me in my martial arts class they noticed no transfems were there but didn't think much of it because there were other trans people there.

It is years ago and I am still an egg. I am with my partner of 4 years. I am exhausted after a long day. She asks me for sex in the voice that I know means saying no will hurt her. I learned from her long ago men have high and insatiable sex drives, therefore saying no meant I wanted to have sex, just not with her. So I say yes. The sex is painful and unsatisfying, and I simply do my best to thrust through the discomfort until she cums. I feel numb and hurt. She enjoys herself but seems sad I did not cum. I assure her I love her. When we hold eachother after my obligation has been met and I finally feel comfortable and safe. We begin talking. She talks about the trashy women she saw on the street today, describing their cringe outfits and ugly styles and bad hair. All the styles and clothes and hair I yearn to try myself in my deepest and most repressed desires. I change the subject and ask her about work and family. She asks if I'd still love her if she were a man and I say yes. She says she would still love me if I were a woman. Something in that statement feels like a lie. It is months later when we break up and I move out. Now that I am a woman I look back and know from our years together that if I were a woman then she'd hate the kind of woman I'd become. That if I were a woman she'd still have the same expectations of me as a man, that her refusal of sex equated an impersonal not being in the mood but my refusal of sex equated a cruel refusal of love.

A lesbian group begins organizing a queer woman's strip night event. A safe place for amateur performers to shine and women to perform and enjoy sexuality away from the male gaze. I see no transfems in the promotional material or leadership team, and I've learned not to think nothing of it just because there are other trans people there. I do not go.

I am talking with my therapist. They are trans too and an amazing therapist, often providing insights and advice only someone else with the lived experience of being trans can. I express distress and suicidal ideation at the fact I feel like I need to pass before I can dress the way I want. That until I get expensive hair removal procedures and FFS I can never feel safe and welcome presenting authentically. I lament how these things are expensive and may never be accessible to me. They tell me I need to deal with my "internalized transphobia", as if these feelings aren't a result of constant rejection and othering by external forces even within queer spaces. As if the scrap of womanhood others sometimes acknowledge in me does not rely on their perceptions of me.

There is a publication accepting works from trans people of all stripes to document trans experiences. It gets flamed for not having a single transfem as a contributor. The people behind it apologize profusely, they say didn't notice no transfems had sent work in and would do a sequel publication that was transfem-centric. I wonder if anyone had noticed there were no transfems but didn't think much of it because there were other trans people there. I think about the kinds of spaces I've seen like that, and the implications it has about how they treat transfems, and I am unsurprised no transfems submitted.

One of my closest friends for years is very supportive of me when I first begin crossdressing and experimenting with they/them pronouns. She gives me suggestions on cute clothes to wear and takes me shopping as well as asks for pictures. We had helped eachother discover we were both queer as young teens, come to terms with it, and navigate it in a hostile environment, so I have complete trust. We are close enough we are frequently asking eachother advice on serious life choices & relationships, sending nudes for critique + tips before sending them to our partners, and sharing our most secret and vulnerable moments. She often asks me for tips on getting her straight boyfriends into pegging and crossdressing that make me slightly uncomfortable but I don't mind, she is a loyal friend I would endure a great many discomforts for. I host a lunch for us one day, and come out to her as a trans woman. I tell her my new name, say I no longer use he/him pronouns, and thank her for her support on my journey thus far. She launches into a monologue about how by changing my name I am throwing away all our memories together and spitting in the face of my family. Taken aback by her sudden heel turn after being so supportive of me being nonbinary and GNC, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom to get a break and give her some time to process. When I am in the bathroom trying not to cry, she is on the phone. I overhear her misgendering me as she is talking about me being bisexual in a frightened voice. She sounds truly afraid that I intend to be sexually violent towards her. When I leave the bathroom and sit back down I pretend not to have heard. She gets off the phone, saying she was just chatting with her boyfriend. We talk a bit longer, she explains how "the surgery" is dangerous and experimental and she hopes I won't get it. I assure her I won't and do my best to change the subject and hope she comes around after some time to process things, hurt and shocked that what I saw as a natural shift in the path I was already on marked me as frightening in her eyes after knowing eachother for over a decade. That a fellow bisexual suddenly saw my bisexuality as dangerous now that I was asserting myself as a trans woman. I say goodbye to her, and she says goodbye to me using my deadname, I do not risk an argument to correct her. It is months after the meeting we have not seen eachother since and she has not responded to any messages I sent. After reflecting on her reaction further I decide that I don't really want to spend time with someone who thinks these things about me for my own safety and mental health, regardless of our history. A friend of 14 years who supported my queerness and transness gone the instant I crossed an intangible woman-shaped line that marked me as a predator and invader in her eyes.

I log online and day after day see trans women getting banned and harassed. Seeing baseless callout posts calling them groomers and abusers getting taken seriously by other queer and trans people. Seeing proof that deep down so many people I consider kindred spirits see me and people like me as worthy of intense scrutiny and policing to keep "the queer community" safe and united. The blocklist grows but everything stays the same. I treasure the people in my life who don't take part in this and would do anything for them, but it seems they get fewer each time.

I'm not making this post to seek sympathy, I am used to this kind of shit and far worse has happened to myself and others. I just make this to illustrate transmisogyny is not some "online-only" issue like people claim. Even if online issues weren't "real" (as healed is fond of saying, "online is real") this has tangible effects in the way trans women are treated offline as well. By communities, friends, partners, colleagues, systems, etc. That's why we talk about it.

So much of the discussions people have paint transmisogyny as some online oppression olympics maliciously trying to divide the community, smear transmascs, and "reinvent bioessentialism". That is not what it is about. Discussions about transmisogyny is about how we are treated for being what we are, and while related to transphobia and misogyny it is seperate because it often represents doors other trans people and women can walk through that transfems cannot. It has affected me in my most intimate moments when I was with other trans and queer people I felt safe around, and taught me that I need to carefully manage my persona and presentation at all times lest my authenticity be branded "male socialization". I am even terrified to express attraction to people who express attraction towards me because I'm so used to being treated like a predator upon reciprocating or being used and abandoned by people I trusted. I am terrified to be too excited about shared interests with friends lest I be too loud or talkative about it and branded with aggressive male socialization. So I make myself quiet and small, and shrink from the community and people I care about, and become more and more isolated.

Anyways, stop platforming anons who spread lies about trans women, stop hopping on TERF harassment campaigns because the trans gal they're smearing "gave you bad vibes", and maybe consider carefully if in your own life where you draw the line for a transfem's behavior is any different from where you'd draw the line for anyone who's not one.

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By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest

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also please, I’m not going to tag my random martini note. Also made with gin, vodka martini sounds gross. Gin is good!

wow martinis are really fucking good

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wow martinis are really fucking good

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rogue sounds like a bad rogue cosplayer

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thoughts about sex:

I had sex again today. I find most people’s expectations of sex to be super boring. I am rarely super horny, and I usually cannot come when I am bored. I don’t like romantic, hand-boldly sex. Looking in the eyes sex. I liked that with like one or two people previously. I have to be really into you, and in the right mood, which is rare.

I would rather just use someone the way I want. I wish I didn’t get embarrassed for most people during sex but I do. I just don’t get what most people want. Even what some kinky people want. That’s more of a different in that specific person not being good at getting consent before diving into shit though, and also being so ashamed that they are hard to talk to about junk.

Anyway, hand-holdy sex is boring. I want a wet hole that exists to serve me, that’s all

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thoughts about x-men 97 (the first ep)

- i am a sucker for that intro, I like morph’s change and that he is back on the team. Glad bishop is there too.

- Storms new hair is awesome.

- Gambit in a crop top is great.

- Hate the animation and am not used to the new voices. Is anyone the same that they were in the first series?

- The animation: I hate this style of animation, reminds me of something else I have watched. Dragon Prince, kind of. God that show is cringey at times, I started the their season and it was choking me to death, and not in a good way.

- I swear I wish all current cartoons would just slow the fuck down a little bit. Let me breathe a bit. Set up a scene with wolverine playing pool in a bar or something, just slow things down a bit. It’s rush, rush, rush and it stresses me out.

- I hope they write Jean in a way eventually where she isn’t just in full mom-leave the team mode. Her cerebro moment was cool. I think she’s written better at least in the more recent x-men comics I’ve read. She just needs to die a few more times, I think

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I do just wanna get high and make out with someone. With plenty of conversation beforehand.

I don’t want to mask anymore, but it’s a choice I make slowly.

I want to touch someone, put my hands under their clothes.

I want it to be kinky but I also want fun and sensual. Things can be at different times, but I like doing them.

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THE OUPPY GIRL

(she/her) 🐺🏳️‍⚧️