xwesjames

[xwesjames]

I call that getting your money's worth. Summer's always my favorite time of year around there parts, so I'm not complaining. At this moment, just looking forward to all the happenings around town. Also, typically my time of year to do a little traveling and head home to visit family, so looking forward to that. You?

Who: Open Location: Anchors Away

Now that - that right there just tastes like straight up tequila. I'd say we're starting the summer off right, but damn if that bartender doesn't have a heavy pour. Are you excited for summer? Any fun plans or events you want to crash?

[xwesjames]

I'm real lucky, I've always had something to fall back on for advise or whatever with all my siblings who had kids first. It's some sort of something, as a reference point. Even with all the adjustments and catering you gotta do to figure it out with your own kid. I gotta give some credit there even still figuring it all out with Ary, you know? But thanks. That means a lot. Gotta hand it to you too, not sure how you do it with all the kids you've got. They're all doing well, good kids, too. Has Shawn decided what he's doing after this year, yet? Colton figuring it out, at all? Yeah, I always try and come at it from what did and din't work for me at her age, you know? Thanks, man. You have a good Father's Day? Kids do anything for you?

It's the magical world of parenting, we're in a constant state of figuring things out and we wouldn't have it any other way, you know? You do better than your best with her, you're a great dad, and she's a great kid, and I'm not just saying that because we're friends, either, I mean it. Very, and a very full house -- but Shawn's a senior this year, then we'll be heading off to college, and then Colton not long after, so it'll be a big shift, but an exciting one, too. And thankfully, we've got this big ole house with plenty of room, that helps. Fair, we know what it was like, waking up for school, they deserve those few days to sleep in. Happy Father's Day, by the way!

[xwesjames]

That's the thing about being surrounded by kids. Might make you feel like the most ancient human on earth some days, but overall, keeps you young. Sounds like a good time! How's the summer program going, overall? Yeah, especially at this age. Ary's almost 13. She's got enough freedom in a lot of ways, but, it's better for us to know what she's up to when both her mom and I are busy. I thank my lucky stars every day she's a relatively good, well-behaved, responsible kid.

Oh, for sure, makes me feel a little bit younger, too. Not young, mind you… just younger. But we've started up the summer programs at the state park, too, and that helps keep me going and Cordelia's daughters come to that, which is fun, getting to teach my nieces things. I can understand that, it's better than stopping whatever you're doing once an hour to wonder if she's being good at home, but she does seem like a pretty good kid, all the way around.

[xwesjames]

Always the best way to go about it, especially in your circumstances. It's that whole thing of figuring it out together with your first kid, I guess. Just doing my best with her, you know? Luckily, I don't think I've screwed her up too bad so far. Yeah, man! That's gotta be exciting! Wishing you guys the best time with it all. Can't wait to see that all work out for you. Full house! Oh, same over at my place. I actually think day one was like noon. I always give her a few days to sleep in, enjoy not having much to do, before she jumps into any summer activities and all that.

Yeah, exactly, I just let her come to me when she needs something, remind her that she can always talk to us or her brothers or just go take some time for herself if she needs it. Who doesn't need that now and then? I think that's one of the things we have to keep in mind as parents to teens, is that it's such a big freakin' change for us… but it's even bigger for them, just in different ways, you know? Thank you! We'll see how it goes, we haven't been trying a super long time or anything, but I'm hopeful and excited. Which are two things I didn't think I'd ever say about having more kids. You will, when the time is right, you're too good of a guy to not get that if it's what you want. Oh yeah, I don't think a single kid was out of bed before nine yesterday or today.

[xwesjames]

It works. Hopefully it helps people out some. All there is to it. Keeps the kids entertained, sure it gives you some joy in that too. It's all about having a good time, too. Usually, her mom and I try and encourage her to stay busy. Gives her something to do. Gives us less to worry about with what she's up to, with our work schedules.

Especially with something as sensitive as that, where you never know how people are dealing or reacting, honestly your best is all you really ever can do. True, I'm good at kicking around the ball with my nephews and I guess that means it was all for something, it keeps them entertained for a couple of hours, if nothing else! Does she keep pretty busy in the summertime, or is she the type that wants to just lay low and hang out for most of it?

[xwesjames]

Do my best with it, you know? Just sort of fell into it, but it's worked out. I'm not mad at it. Kind of a perfect fit, in a way. Ah. Well, if that's still your go-to, there's gotta be something to it, yeah? Yeah, it was good! The long weekend was good. But, same here. Jumped right back into work, and that's been it since getting back. Now's just that readjustment for summer with my kid.

Definitely not! But we need that -- someone who can handle the gig and do so with the grace and respect that it deserves because it makes everyone else's life a little easier in the long run, you know? There's something for everyone, and it's good that you found your something. Or that it found you, I guess. You get what I mean. I did. Kind of. I actually played a little bit of everything growing up, but stuck with soccer until I realized Kellan was better than me -- we were in the same class -- and I didn't want to be second best and gave up on sports. The course was good! In an exhausting kind of way, but I had work right away on Monday, thankfully I bounced back. How about you?

[xwesjames]

Sounds like you've got a good way of going with it. It's all patience and understanding, at the end of the day. Oh yeah, definitely not. Especially with how different each kid is. It's just another stage of life that's all patience and understanding, just maybe for me as much as for Ary. Hahaha! Congrats on that choice! Can't say that won't be me, eventually, at some point. Hopefully. Gotta meet somebody, but you know what I mean. Hope it all goes well for you guys! You got some time! Summer's officially started for the kids.

Exactly that, and she does her best with it. And we do our best with it, if she's having a hard day, we go outside and let out frustration out on the kick ball, or sit quietly on the couch and watch a movie, or ask her what she wants to do it and just do it. We do, there should be some sort of parental training course that helps you deal with the fact that your little kids aren't little kids anymore… but I don't really think that it's the kind of thing you can teach someone, either. Everyone deals differently. Just have a little bit of grace with yourself, y'know? Or, do what I do, and decide at thirty-nine, with two kids in high school that you want to try to make another baby and prolong the experience, 'cuz why not? Yeah, we've got time to figure it out!

[xwesjames]

Okay, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. That's gotta be a lot of big feelings and not being quite sure about them all, at that age. At least she's got a built in best friend, like that, with Rosalyn. I'm sure that's gotta help ease her, too. Tell me about it. I just gotta accept it. She's not five no more, you know? It's just such a mindfuck. And every parent goes through it, I feel. So, part of me's been mentally preparing, but I feel like every new year's just a new what the fuck moment, with how fast time passes. Just a part of aging myself, I suppose. Hey, any time to get them out and about, get some good family time in. Those sound like great ideas to me.

She's four, just a couple of months older than Rosalyn, so that helps. Two peas in a pod. But we're working with her, she's getting a lot better about knowing she can talk to us when she needs to. Slow and steady. Yeah, I get that. One moment, they're gripping your index finger for dear life, and the next, they're a full fledged teenager, and when they say it happens in the blink of an eye, they're not kidding. No idea. Probably not anywhere too far, Shawn's doing a lot of college visits this summer as it is, but thinking an aquarium, zoo, something everyone can enjoy.

[xwesjames]

Guess you're right, yeah. Practical's probably a better way to put it. It's just such a presence in my life, I'm not sure I give it much thought anymore. My gig's not for everybody, you know? That's why I take it seriously. Gotta make the place welcoming for everybody else. You play soccer, growing up? Haha, how'd the course go for you?

I think realistic can mean different things for different people, too, depending on what death means to them, and how much of it has been dealt their way, it's all very… nuanced, but it's good to go about it practically, especially when it's your job to work in that field. I think that's a good way to go about it: you're making something tough a little easier. Fair! Soccer, for me, but even then, fun's a little more… well, fun. I'm looking forward to it, I think it'll be fun, just don't ask me if I feel the same way afterwards.

[xwesjames]

"Are you doing the course?" he asked, after a pause to take a bite of his food.

Theo offered up Wes a smile and a nod as he sat down. "That's good to hear," settling in to his seat before continuing, "pretty good. Excited for the weekend's adventures."

[xwesjames]

It's just one of those things in life, I tend to come at it in a probably from a more realistic point of view than anything. Sorta just a part of my daily existence. Just make the best of it, to help people out with giving them that space, you know? Makes me feel like I'm contributing something good to people. The community. You know? Nah, I only do all these sports, athlete, competition things for fun. Except maybe a basketball game. That, I might take too seriously.

I completely understand it. There was a period of my life where I was very desensitized to loss and death and all of it, and then I got a little older and moved back home and it hits me a little differently now, but when you deal with it, day in and day out, I can understand it. But they do have a very beautiful place to go and honored their loved ones, you do a great job at being sure of that. Oh, definitely not -- that's one of the things that inspires me the most, is I won't be the oldest or the sorest when everything's said and done! Hopefully, anyway. You're doing it, too, then? For fun, or wanting to kick ass?

[xwesjames]

Makes sense. How old is she again? I gotta say, this year's flown by. I'm not so much scared, I don't think, more of shit how did we get here. Part of me's not ready for her to grow up and it just seems to be going faster these last couple years. She does take after her mom though, so I'm not worried about her with getting in trouble and all that. Nice, nice. Any idea on where you're planning on heading out to?

Makes my life a lot easier, and theirs -- and they're the ones I'm mostly worried about. But they have, yeah. Cienna still struggles a bit, but I think it's her age. She's young, she doesn't always know how to talk about her feelings, you know? But she's happy with us. Thank God, yeah. Because getting them dragged out of bed in the morning is a struggle. That sounds like fun! It's not… well, okay, it's scary. But it's not as scary as you think it will be, I promise. I've made it this far with two under one roof, and Ary's a good kid, you won't have any problems. I think we might surprise the kids with a vacation at some point, go old school, load up the car.

[xwesjames]

"Hey Theo," Wes greeted the man with a nod of the head. He made room as Theo said near him. "Going good. You?"

Who: @xwesjames and Theo

Where: The Challenge

When: May 2025

As the day's events had ended and Theo was all changed and showered, he headed on down to grab some dinner with everyone. His stomach grumbled, audible over the din of the crowd or at least audible to him as he waited on line. Thankful it moved quickly, he was able to grab some food and find a place to sit. As his kids and Tam were off somewhere, Theo looked around. Seeing a familiar face nearby, he waved and then joined him. "Hey, hows it going?" He asked Wes before sitting down at an empty seat beside his friend and father to his daughter's best friend

[xwesjames]

Just one of those part of life. I don't know, maybe I'm somewhat desensitized to it these days helping dig graves every day. But all we can do is try to keep the place nice, keep it respectful to everybody buried there, you know? As sad as it is. We do our best. Oh, I'm sure. Now that the sun's out, perfect excuse to be out at the park. Something tells me you're not the only one risking cranky knees and everything else for this thing. Sounds like it'll be a good time, though.

Grim, but true. It's not like you're going to stop it from happening. I've never been by there when it hasn't looked well kept and in top shape, though, so I don't think you have too much to worry about. Yeah, no kidding. But it's been nice, we've been getting busier at the park, and it's been better weather to do a little training for this Challenge thing coming up, which I'm pretty excited for. Me, not my knees, but they'll be okay.

[xwesjames]

That convenience has gotta be some sort of stress relief, even at their age. Sounds like they've all adjusted pretty well to you taking them in, yeah? There's what? A month left of school? Not sure yet on plans. Probably taking a trip out to Arizona to see family, at some point. And Ary's birthday, though that's still months out. Somehow gonna have a teenager by the end of the summer. Shit's crazy, man. But other than that, just seeing how the summer goes. You guys?

Yeah, pretty much. I've lucked out with that. It also helps that Colton and Shawn were best friends before they were brothers, so I don't have to worry as much about 'dad, dad, can I go over to Shawn's house,' when Shawn's house is Colton's house now, you know? Added bonus. Yeah, shit. They'll be done with school before we know it, although I'm pretty excited for that, too. I want to give them a good summer. You guys have any big plans yet?

[xwesjames]

Sounds like you've got a house of good kids. Good for you. Ary's just at that age where friends are her top priority. At least with summer coming up, I don't have to worry about her too much. She's got a bunch of activities she does, all with her friends. Just not sure my own brain's registered it's almost summer though.

Colton and Shawn are pretty outdoorsy on the regular, thankfully, but they're past that age of wanting to play outside in the snow or thinking that it's neat -- it's just cold. But they didn't argue about he barn chores, I'm lucky for that, they always chip in and help as much as they can. No, that's the catch, right? One, two days all cooped up in a house, fine, but eventually, they want a little break rom us, which is fair! They don't have much longer now until school's out, which is hard to believe.

[xwesjames]

People die every day, you know? Folks come out for anniversaries, birthdays too, no avoiding at least one visitor a day. Typically more. But, just all the more reason to keep the place in order, looking nice. Can't ever complain about the weather easing up. The fact it's almost summer though, feeling a bit caught off guard there, not gonna lie.

Kind of makes sense, though. I'm sure a lot of people assume that mourners only come by in the warm months, but grief hits at odd times, and a lot of people take comfort in being able to be there, so I get it. Pretty well, yeah -- can't ever underestimate Mainers, local, or people who decide to call it home. I've been glad for the slightly warmer, a little bit better weather, though, that's for sure.