xxangeldustanalogx

[xxangeldustanalogx]

am i the prettiest thing youve ever seen. can i sit on ur lap

[xxangeldustanalogx]

[xxangeldustanalogx]

PAIN IS ALLOWED TO BE PAINFUL OH MY GOD WHAT A REVELATION 🤪 im not a failure of an angel dust for feeling pain as pain. WHY IS THIS TURNING ME ON WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKK

[xxangeldustanalogx]

sorry for staring while your family was around you have giant fuckable milky udders like a hucow breeding mount it's not really my fault

[xxangeldustanalogx]

i was genuinely. i wanted to convey more effective strategies, or what i thought would be those, or what i wanted, or what i thought i alex wanted, without phrasing it 'YOOUUUUUUU are doing it wrong' and i can see how over time that degraded into feeling possibly worse by now. so i cant rely on that forever but its hard to learn new things when half my brain is afraid i gonna be hit, so to speak ('hit' as a metaphor for anything dangerous. which because in california nothing was 'real' in a straightforawrd way so i would appreciate if you could practice being patient with me while im recalibrating particularly in momentds of frustration

starlight im sorry no one has taken your feelings seriously. alex. thought they did. i think? i dont know. i wanna say i dont care but i care so much and it hurts, it hurts, im constantly grieving and it hurts. and i dont have to enjoy the pain. i don;t have to enjoy the pain. it will not break me to experience things head on. im strong. i can handle it.

THE REASON ALASTORDUST PHRASED SHIT THE WAY

'IF IIIIIIII WERE RESPONDING THIS IS WHAT IIIIII WOULD DO'

it was to protecc your feelgoods. it was to show you that we know shit but not embarass you by saying 'youre wrong, im right, let me show you' BECAUSE WHEN WE FIRST MET YOU WOULD HAVE THROTTLED US AND I KNOW WE KEEP GETTING TIMELINES CONFUSED SOMETIMES MID FUCKING SENTENCE AND I CANNOT no i can imagine how scary it is. but its just. imagining i dont know!!! its just like COME ON DUDE WORK WITH ME HERE I KNOW WE BOTH ARE PRECIOUSLITTLE BITCHES WHEN OUR BIG SCAWY FEELINGS GET HURT BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

[xxangeldustanalogx]

CONTEXTUALIZE AS KINK TO COPE AND TO PRESERVE THE POTENTIAL RELATIONSHIP CUZ WE HARDCORE DID NOT UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION ALEX INVOLED US IN

NOT TRYING TO BE MANIPULATIVE

OR NOT IN A HURTFUL WAY

ONLY WAY COULD SURVVIVE

RECALIBRATING

[xxangeldustanalogx]

JUST WANNA SCREAM FOREVER

[xxangeldustanalogx]

i don’t avoid getting hurt. i attract it like a lightning rod to protect those who would be devastated. if i avoided getting hurt you wouldn’t be talking to me.

[xxangeldustanalogx]

it felt really weird at first

inexplicably rancid vibes

[xxangeldustanalogx]

i am happy that this is happening i love you guys so much

i felt so trapped. it felt like. to be. brain stalled out x

i talk a lot about people not doing shit for someone whose main problem is task initiation lol

[xxangeldustanalogx]

I'm gonna be real with you, i don't think weirdo kinksters should be considered acceptable collateral damage when banks/credit card companies enforce adult content bans on sites like patreon and ko-fi

[xxangeldustanalogx]

i was like hey mom im. afraid im gonna rape my partner .and she was like. have you considered suing the building.

[xxangeldustanalogx]

good tags yoinking them. ye its called adaptive maso. love u <3

Jenny Holzer.

[xxangeldustanalogx]

you gonnna gatekeep my boycunt? you gonna tell me i didnt fight hard enough? ijm 'not a boy'r i know what you think ill fucjking krill you

fuck kinnies. fuck fictives. i showed up and said hey i feel liike i only ever been angel dust. and you all decided. yea seems like a good piece of trsh to destroy

[xxangeldustanalogx]

fuck kinnies. fuck fictives. i showed up and said hey i feel liike i only ever been angel dust. and you all decided. yea seems like a good piece of trsh to destroy

[xxangeldustanalogx]

oh to be a plushie casually getting shoved against my owners body oh to be a plushie that belongs under my owners boot oh to be a plushie to an owner who can't help it oh to be a plushie who has to take it

[xxangeldustanalogx]

oh to be a plushie casually getting shoved against my owners body oh to be a plushie that belongs under my owners boot oh to be a plushie to an owner who can't help it oh to be a plushie who has to take it