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horoscope: sometimes you be breathin

me:

me: okay but how did they know that?

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When your blog is running low on memes

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When I find out a fave book is being turned into a film

Me *in a tiny voice*: Please don't ruin my baby...

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sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments 

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*Teacher Voice* I’ll wait

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neil armstrong first guy on the moon

Neil A.

what is that backwards?

WAKE UP AMERICA

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What's your favorite high school memory?

Leaving high school

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*wipes phone screen on breast*

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do you ever like randomly wake up in the middle of the night check your social networks then go back to sleep 

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It’s actually really disturbing that kids falling asleep in school is viewed as them being lazy and not as the school overworking them to the point that they literally can’t stay awake.

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Good news! I just remembered the word I forgot mid sentence nine hours ago

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this is a mosquito hate blog

mosquitos are so stupid they dont fcking even have toes

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me: *does weird things when home alone*

me: I bet there's hidden cameras

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first rule of fight club

no fightin!…shakira shakiraaa

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‘girlfriend’ by avril lavigne came out seven years ago