xxxlost-onesxxx - Tumblr blog

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

At this point. I'm trying to force myself to recover. I know lower than this point is absolutely not okay. I need to be aware of the people around me. And in reality this isn't beautiful. Sure there is beauty in our bones but but not in that way but more of in the way they function and carry us. I am 99 pounds. With my mental state I already sometimes can't fully recognize myself, I look all blurry but now I really don't.

But then there is this other side. A more messed up side. I know she's bad and everyone who looks for profiles like this probably knows her name. She says that being that skinny is correct and that if I keep changing, dropping everything will fix itself.

But I keep almost passing out at work and while playing with my daughter and I'm constantly switching from freezing (it's fricken summer) and hot from getting anxious and moving too fast.

I am fighting myself. And I want to fix it. But then randomly I'm not thinking in a rational way or I think too much about hard situations and my brain goes "let's control this" and then suddenly I've "forgotten" to eat for a few more days. It seems like I'm getting better than bam there I go dropping a few more lbs.

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

Honestly. How I feel

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

I am sorry for the content I reblog sometimes. Content that might make me seem pro. I don’t really think when I scroll through the thinspo tag and reblog things. I don’t think about who is going to see them and I know that I should do that more but this is an outlet for me. I am genuinely sorry if I ever triggered you with the content I post on here and I hope you get better soon because you deserve to feel better and none of the mean things were directed towards you. You are amazing, beautiful and you deserve to eat.

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

trying to get back to a weight you were already at is just so fucking depressing

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

Wish

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

18 and I'm a mother

Pls tell me there are other anorexics out there that are relapsing at 19+ I feel so weird and misplaced right now (not pro ana, I just want to know I'm not alone :( )

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

I hate it. I got better. I had a baby. I'm still breastfeeding but I have the hardest time eating so I remind myself she is more important so I have to eat because formula cost money. But I miss the body I was getting before. I hate my body.

I drank tonight which means not only did I have all the alcohols calories but lots of food. I was celebrating for my borthday which waso n Tuesday but in the end I was just mad at myself.

I got better. I dont fully want to go back.. But i do.

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

September will be filled with happiness.

September will be filled with blessings.

September will be filled with positivity.

September will be filled with progress.

September will be filled with kindness.

September will be filled with love.

September will be filled with opportunities.

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

I want my mom pooch to go away

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

I havent been on here in a really long time because it makes me feel awful. The biggest set back ever, I got pregnant and decuded to keep my little girl. I am so happy she is coming in 2 months but at the same time once shes born I know I'll be back and I feel awful.

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

Do it for the..

“You got skinny!”

“Wow I can fit my hand all the way around your wrist”

Jealous stares

Size XXS and 00

“You can sit on my lap since you’re obviously the lightest”

Beautiful in anything

“You’re so light!”

“I’ll give you a piggyback ride”

Confidence in dressing rooms

Bikini body

Dainty wrists

Hip bones

Collarbones that dip for days

Slender legs

Thigh gaps

“You look like a model!”

“How did you do it?”

ability to feel confident in your own skin

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

[xxxlost-onesxxx]

Mood daily