y0u-aint-shit-t0-m3 - Tumblr blog

[y0u-aint-shit-t0-m3]

Mary Oliver, from New & Selected Poems of Mary Oliver; "A Meeting,"

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why do I relate to every line

author: @jing-le-bells

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Parents really do traumatize you and then force you to reparent yourself instead of being a capable human being who can contribute to society like a normal person. Sorry I can't get a well paying job right now I'm trying to learn coping mechanisms.

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Peace be upon the daughter who helped her parents grow up. Accepted their cold shoulder, excused their anger, pardoned their mistakes, taught them how to be human. Peace be upon the sister who paid the price of rebellion. Screaming to her fullest, shaking like a leaf but standing tall, never letting the dictatorship go without a fight, paving the path for her siblings to breathe easier. Peace be upon the first child of an immigrant father. Aching to find their own purpose in life, firm in their own beliefs, contradicting generations and generations of cultural values. Peace be upon the girl who shouldered her mother's trauma. Swindled it into her own, morphed herself into an image of the womb she once resided in, immersed herself into troubles that weren't even hers, covered up scars that she couldn't even recognize. Peace be upon the woman who forgot who she was. So determined to be the savior of everyone, to fix her family, to nurture and love everyone around her. So deeply lost that she forgot she's just as worthy of love. Peace be upon you.

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The eldest daughter urge "to play your mom's therapist after every fight she has with dad"

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You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.

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This is really great in understanding machanism of self sabotage.

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The Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1944–1947

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Richard siken / dave eggers

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break my arms around the one i love

poem: Shauna Barbosa GPS art: @mmelodyj / unknown / Ainslie Hogarth Motherthing / Keaton St. James HISTORY STUDENT FALLS IN LOVE WITH ASTRO PHYSICS STUDENT / @555w4 / unknown / Ada Limón The Good Fight / @sunsbleeding

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I’m jealous of those who can function like a normal human being. They don’t have anxiety holding them back from everything, they don’t struggle to get out of bed or have to put on an act that everything is fine when its not. They don’t struggle to hold friendships and relationships… they don’t feel sad for no fucking reason everyday. Those that can hold jobs and work towards their dreams, the ones who have self esteem and see the beauty in themselves. Those that know what its like to feel safe and secure, not insecure and fearful of it all. 

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Tolerated

All my life I've been tolerated,

Dull eyes and curt responses that I've always hated

Second best daughter, friend and acquaintance

But still I'd allow myself to be tolerated

One day I'd be first I just need patience

That day never came and I remained tolerated

Still experiencing bored eyes, short responses that I've always hated

My sadness marinated

Anger accelerated

All I wanted was to be first, my longing for attention wasn't complicated

Looked inwards to find I was still tolerated

Not by the bitches who wore masks and forced affection

I was tolerated by my own reflection

I begun to contemplate, Meditate on why this was the case

Came to find it was the bitches who were taking up my space

I stopped tolerating

I stopped hating

For it was me giving power to people who hated so tolerated themselves

I choose to go to places where I'm celebrated,

Cause I'd rather be hated then tolerated

By:me

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