yasmeenblogs

[yasmeenblogs]

Hi lovelies,

I know I've been MIA since last year, idek how to start again! But no worries as we are all strangers here, and I don't fear being judged!! I hope all are doing their absolute best and wish all of you the absolute best. Out of nowhere I'm sharing one of my drafts here after a long time which has been sitting in my notes for quite some time. I kinda miss being active here and all this while life happened like it never happened before. Let's say that I've been through some major issues. Anyways put that all aside, I'm sharing one of my draft letters because I think it deserves to be here.

Whoever's reading, for a context it is for an elder sister who is not related to me, but she is more than just a sister. I think I'll never be able to tell this to her so I just happen to pen it down, I hope you enjoy reading it chicas.

---------------------------------

Dear A. B,

While I'm trying to put together a few words to start this little note, I wish and hope you are doing fine and always wish for your overall well being. I am and will always be your well wisher.

A.b I hope you remember that you once told me "I'm advising you like an elder sister and not someone else's sister." If I tell you that I've craved having an elder sister all my life and hearing that from you was kinda crazy and I was awestruck for a moment. I always wondered how life would be if I were to have a sister. It's wholesome to have someone who'll stick around no matter what. In times of vulnerability and in times of happiness. An elder sister is more like a 2.0 version of your mom haha and looking at you I totally agree with it.

I can never say that to you directly but I totally admire you, the way you are and the person you've become. From all that I've heard about you, it's evident that I totally can relate to you on another level. With that, I'm putting all this down on a paper because I don't know if I'll ever be able to gather the courage to tell this to you.

I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately — about your strength, your resilience, and the quiet battles you fight every day. It’s not easy, and I see that. I see the weight you carry, the silent struggles you endure, and the courage you gather each morning to face the world.

Your journey reminds me so much of my own. You’re the eldest, and I’m the youngest, yet life didn’t spare either of us from its storms. I understand what it feels like to stand strong when there’s no one to lean on, to carry burdens in silence, and to push through the frustration when everything feels too heavy.

But despite it all, you inspire me. Your strength isn’t loud — it’s steady and unyielding. I want you to know how much I respect you, how deeply I wish for your happiness, and how much I look up to you. You're a warrior in every sense, and though the world may not always acknowledge your efforts, I do.

I wish I had the courage to share this with you, but I don’t. So, I’m writing it here — for me, for my heart, for my blog. Maybe one day, or maybe never, you’ll know how much you inspire me.

I don’t know if I’ll ever get to meet you in this lifetime. I don’t know if things will work out the way I hope, but I do have faith — faith that whatever happens, it’s part of a plan greater than mine. Because Allah's plans are always the best, and I’m holding on to that. I’m relying on it.

I pray — oh, how I pray — that my heart’s whispers reach the heavens. That things get better, not just for me, but for everyone. I hope time unravels the knots that have made things appear different than they truly are. I hope that the shadows cast by others' words or actions lose their weight, and what’s real shines through.

I hope you never look at things only for what they seem — because sometimes, there’s more to a story than the page in front of us. I hope the clouds of confusion lift, and everything finds its rightful place.

I hope. I hope. Because having hope is never a mistake.

And maybe one day, if destiny allows, our paths will cross. Or maybe they won’t. But whatever happens, I’ll always wish you well — from afar, in silence, with nothing but sincerity in my heart.

With all my heart,

Yasmeen

[yasmeenblogs]

In December, our conversations become longer; everybody acts surprised by how quickly the year came to an end when we all know how. We talk about being better next year, we write resolutions but never fulfil the ones we wrote the previous year. The season turns extreme, leaves don't fall anymore, they die on their branches. Some people await the holidays while some fear how different or similar their life will be next year (they always fear the latter) In December we realize that life is fickle and death might come uninvited.

[yasmeenblogs]

— Calla Quinn

[yasmeenblogs]

Maybe right now, your journey isn’t about love. Maybe right now, your journey is about being alone.Maybe this is the season you are being challenged to learn how to wake up in the middle of the bed, to finally find hope in the vacancy, hope in the quiet, hope in the way you stretch into your life and give yourself permission to take up space within it. Maybe right now, you are being shown — that you can take care of yourself, that you can depend on the person you have become, that you can be your own home no matter what comes your way.

Maybe right now, your journey is about redemption. Maybe this is the season you are being challenged to make amends with your heart, to stand up for the vast ways in which it loves, and cares, and believes in the goodness of vulnerability, and expression, and being the person who softens even when the world is not gentle. Maybe right now you are getting a second chance to trust in it, and to forgive yourself for giving it away to those who could not value it; but most importantly, maybe right now you are being called to protect it, to find your way back into your tenderness, to find your way back into your soul.

No, maybe right now your journey isn’t about love. Maybe right now your journey is about hope. Maybe this is the season you are being challenged to remind yourself of the beauty life has to offer you. Maybe right now, you are being given the space to discover the kinds of places that leave your bones dripping with feeling, the kinds of people who love you in a way that does not seek to change you. Maybe right now, you are being given a chance to reclaim your joy, to make it the most natural extension of who you are, to let it spill out of your words, and your laughter, and your tears — to let it be something you believe you are worthy of, to let it be something you believe you deserve.

See, maybe right now your journey isn’t about love. Maybe right now your journey is about you. Maybe this is the season you are being challenged to be your own savior, to be your own safe place. Maybe right now you are being reminded — that the people who walked away were only ever leading you back to yourself, were only ever leading you here. And here, you are okay on your own. Here, you are rebuilding. Here, you are adapting, and mending, and reclaiming all of the pieces you let them walk away with. Here, you are being kinder to your soul, you are giving yourself the same kind of love you have always given to others. Here, you are not rushing your heart, you are not depending on another human being to fix it. Instead, here, you are doing that on your own. Here, you are healing.🤍

[yasmeenblogs]

17 Nov 23

These days have been tough. I've been working hard towards my goals, but out of nowhere, life's distractions hit me. I'm feeling all messed up with everything happening.

I grapple with the uncertainty, wondering if this is a test of my patience or a trial of my faith. I want to stay strong, but I'm getting a bit sidetracked. I'm confused and unsure about a lot of things right now.

Life keeps throwing challenges at me, one after another, like stones hitting me. I'm fed up and tired of the world and the people in it. I hope things get better soon, but who knows? Maybe this tough time will pass, and then another challenge will show up.

I'm at a crossroads, unsure of the right path to navigate through the chaos.

I find myself overwhelmed by the pervasive two-faced mentality that seems to plague the people around me. It's disheartening to witness individuals who appear sweet and nice, only to reveal their true, ugly colors beneath the surface. I can't fathom why some find satisfaction in creating facades, meddling in the lives of others.

The constant cycle of encountering these deceptive personas leaves me sick and tired. Their duplicity is like a bitter aftertaste, making me want to throw up both figuratively and, at times, almost literally. It's a challenge not to fall prey to these individuals who, despite their outward charm, reveal a repulsive side in the end.

I yearn for a world where people can live authentically, embracing their true selves and allowing others to do the same. The discrepancy between appearances and reality is a source of frustration, and I can't help but wonder why some individuals can't simply live their own lives without the need for pretense.

As I pen down these thoughts, I hope for a day when authenticity triumphs over deception, and people can coexist without the burden of hidden agendas. Until then, I'll navigate this sea of two-faced individuals with caution, preserving my own authenticity amidst the chaos.

I know I need to be strong and tough it out. Wishing for clarity and strength. Just hoping for some peace.

-Yasmeen

[yasmeenblogs]

31 Oct 2023;

First Salary, Heartfelt Gift:

Today marked a significant milestone in my life as I received my very first official salary. It was a moment filled with excitement and anticipation, and I couldn't help but share my joy with everyone around me.

In conversations with my colleagues, who, like me, had recently joined this organization, were excited to receive their first salary, and I couldn't help but notice how our priorities differed. While they eagerly discussed plans to splurge on personal items and treat themselves or manage their responsibilities, I found myself contemplating something entirely different. My thoughts revolved around the special people in my life, my loved ones. I went on a mission to find the perfect gifts for them, something that would serve as a meaningful token of my affection and a lasting memory of this day.

My intentions were pure, driven by love, as I put my own desires aside and focused on making others happy. I carefully selected gifts, imagining the joy and gratitude on their faces when they receive them. As I presented these tokens of my love, most of them were overjoyed, trying on their new possessions with glee.

However, there was one person whose reaction caught me off guard. I offered her a gift but she declined, uttering the words, "I don't wear something like that." Her response struck a chord, and a hint of disappointment and sadness crept into my heart. I attempted to persuade her to accept the gift, but she remained resolute and, eventually, asked me to return it.

In that very moment, I struggled to conceal the lump in my throat as I forced a smile. It may seem trivial, but incidents like this have a way of breaking my heart, bit by bit. Despite my efforts to accept people for who they are, I find myself deeply affected by such situations. It's as if my heartache is beyond my control.

At times, I feel like a fool for going out of my way to shower others with love and consideration. Perhaps it's time for me to reconsider how much I invest in caring for others, especially if it begins to take a toll on my own well-being. I need to remind myself that every little heartbreak is a lesson learned. It's time to be kind to myself, acknowledging that I can't control how others respond to my gestures of love.

Today has left me with valuable insights. It has shown me the importance of understanding that people have their unique preferences and ways of receiving love. I've learned that it's essential to balance my caring nature with self-compassion. It's about not only focusing on taking care of others but also taking care of your own well-being and emotional needs.

This day has reinforced that every experience, even those that break my heart a little, is a lesson in its own right. It's a reminder that genuine kindness is not about the reactions it receives but about the love and sincerity we put into our actions. I will carry this lesson with me, cherishing the joy of giving and finding strength in resilience.

Today has been a day of self-discovery and reflection. It's clear to me now that I must learn to keep people in their rightful place, neither becoming too attached to their actions and words nor allowing them to affect me deeply. In summary, today has been a lesson in maintaining a balanced and resilient approach to my relationships with others, understanding that my emotional well-being is just as important as the kindness I share.

-Yasmeen

[yasmeenblogs]

23 oct' 23; Series of uncertainties

Moments pass by

While I'm unable to contain these

overwhelming emotions

This strong sense of desire

The ability to be

And the power to do

The risk of failure

The thrill of success

The excitement of the unknown

And the fear of the same

I sit here thinking

What could go wrong

A hundred possibilities

A hundred things

Yet with faith I proceed

Towards the thing that's calling

Even if hundreds could go wrong

One could go right

Even if I stop

I have faith, it'll still go on

A legacy, a generation, an eternity

I'm not sure what "it" is

And I'm not sure about a lot of things

But with unwavering faith within me I know I can go on

It isn't necessary for things to always go our way

Sometimes, it's necessary not to,

So as to remind us of our imperfections

And to find beauty in it

Tranquility, I believe, is in letting things go

And accepting as they come

Sometimes pain is all we feel

Other times fear and despair

But looking past that you'll realise

There's always something to look forward to

You'll take the things you learned with you

And pass it on forward,

creating a legacy, a generation, and an eternity.

-NZ, notes from a dear friend.

[yasmeenblogs]

09 Oct 23; 09:56pm

Hopeful anticipation crushed by harsh reality:

Today was one of those days when I felt the familiar rollercoaster of emotions that seem to define my life lately.

Why is it that every time I think everything is falling into place, things are working out and life will be a little better soon, there comes a sudden slap from reality right on my face which feels like a gun shot went straight through me.

It's honestly a constant emotional rollercoaster of hope and disappointment. Right when I think that life is on the verge of improvement. It's like the life I've constructed in my mind collapses in an instant, leaving me emotionally wounded.

It's like feeling really hopeful and happy thinking everything is going great, but then, boom, Life happens and it leaves me with nothing but grief.

This emotional rollercoaster has become an all-too-familiar experience. It's like riding high on happiness and hope, only to be brought crashing down by the harshness of life. It's emotionally exhausting, and I find myself wondering if this pattern will ever change.

I need to find a way to maintain a sense of inner resilience, regardless of what life throws at me.

Tomorrow is a new day, and I'll gather the strength to pick myself up, dust off the disappointment, and keep moving forward.

Here's to hoping that someday this rollercoaster ride becomes a little less turbulent.

-Yasmeen

[yasmeenblogs]

[yasmeenblogs]

01 Oct 23;

Do you know what the greatest story is?

It's the comeback story. Imagine yourself: A wounded soul with a broken confidence and having lost it all. But then, you pick yourself up. You rise from the ashes and pits of anxiety and depression. You heal both physically, mentally and emotionally. You get fitter, leaner, faster and more mentally resilient. Against all odds, you vanquish your inner demons. So you must remember,

"The comeback is always stronger than the setback."

- via, Think Like A Boss.

[yasmeenblogs]

[yasmeenblogs]

Hey, What was the best compliment you received in your life?

Hi anon! Hope you're doing well.

Thanks for the question, it's interesting to think of an answer.

Well, compliments about appearance are all endearing and stuff but I feel like receiving compliments beyond your external appearance is what matters the most. You know anyone can notice and appreciate someone's physical features but it takes a special person to see beyond that. People are so much deeper and more complex than that.

When I try to think of compliments beyond the surface level, it definitely has to be the ones I got for my personality. To choose the best one among all those, it has to be my high school teacher's compliment for me.

To elaborate, I had a teacher who used to take Telugu language for us. I never really had a deep personal connection with her. This particular compliment coming from a teacher I barely interacted with, was almost nerve wrecking to think that she thought me worthy of the praise. The lines she wrote for me have still stuck with me. One of the line was, "A girl should be like Yasmeen". As simple as it may sound, I can't fathom the fact that she, being a teacher, thought me worthy of being an example. It's been quite a few years since I graduated from my high school but her lines still give me chills down the spine whenever I think about it. I don't know if I will ever be able to live up to that, but I guess it's all about just being myself. I am and will continue to be myself, hopefully.

Sending love and light your way,

-Yasmeen

[yasmeenblogs]

I wanted to be like the girls in the books and I guess in a way I already was because nothing had been going right. I was olive with a hypothesis. Macy with the love for books. January with a writers block and Catalina being more tired than she looks. I was Lily without an atlas. Tate waiting to be loved by Miles. I wasn't on my sister's honeymoon. There was no paintballing in sight. No workplace enemies to lovers, no childhood friends split up by a fight. I was in a brutal reality. No love story to be told, no responsibility to be had. I was already twenty something years old. So, I lived in the books wondering when my time would come as my story kept writing itself, each poetic line one by one.

-Celia Martin

[yasmeenblogs]

ping ponging back and forth between seeing immense beauty everywhere and feeling deeply like i am in hell

[yasmeenblogs]

Life update: currently just one step away from losing my temper and jumping off a cliff.

I'm fairly certain that things will work out in the end but now, in this current moment where the path ahead of me is unclear and uncertain, not knowing what the future awaits. In the process of waiting for things to unfold and work out, I'm just losing it. Maybe this is what the midlife crisis is all about. We grow through situations, sometimes it feels like hurting at first but eventually growth happens.

I'm also officially at an age where now I don't like to step out of my home, my room has become my comfort place. Socialising with people in real life and on social media is draining my energy. I almost feel like crying when I have to go do my tasks as a responsible adult. My solitude and self awareness has become precious to me. I'm heavy on peace right now. I've realised that some people still have a lot of 'growing up' to do. Every now and then some people show me why I'm me and why they're them. Protecting my peace over anything is my top priority. I've grown a big fan of anything that shuts my brain off for a little while when everything turns chaotic. I'm learning to just say lol and move on.

I'll always be there for anyone who needs me. I'm rooting for everyone, wishing success in their pursuits. I'm loving louder, I'm making sure that people I love know how it feels to be loved and appreciated. I just wanna see everyone I love, win in life. I'm learning to be my own cheerleader, I'm rooting for myself and also for the people around me. I'm choosing to believe in myself. Like my teacher said ''if you want to do something, you have to be courageous enough to stand for it".

Above all, I'm choosing to be authentically me. I'm loving the idea of living, loving, learning, healing and growing. And I'm gonna stick to that.

-Yasmeen

[yasmeenblogs]

Raza-e-haq pe razi reh, ye harf-e-Aarzu kaisa

Khuda khaliq, khuda Malik

Khuda ka hukm, tu kaisa?

[yasmeenblogs]

Yeah she's pretty but did you notice? Did you notice how she doesn't like to make eye contact or that she struggles to take a compliment. Did you notice that she's one of those people that enjoys the little things or that she tends to talk a lot when she's happy. Did you notice how hard she is on herself about succeeding when she feels like she's failing everyday.

Anyone can notice someone's physical features but it takes a special person to see beyond that. To notice those little things about you that sometimes you can't see yourself. Seeing someone for just their looks isn't really noticing who they are. People are so much deeper and more complex than that. It's the things we don't say that can be the loudest to someone who wants to know us on a deeper level. People who look beyond the surface hold a special place in my heart and I hope I hold the same in theirs.

-luxedlex