yastaghr

[yastaghr]

Dear neighbor,

I apologize for scaring you in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, insomnia and hilarious friends are a dangerous combination. I understand that you are in the process of losing your hearing, and for that, you have my sympathies. If I was actively attempting to deafen myself by playing GTA V without headphones, only for someone’s supervillain cackle to reach past my wall of sound and grab the short hairs on my neck? I too would be frightened.

With that being said, I do appreciate you yelling, “What was that?!” and shutting the fuck up.

Sincerely,

The motherfucker next door that (barely) hates cops more than they hate you

P.S. If you turn that back on, I’m gonna watch a try not to laugh challenge—maybe even a marathon of them. Unlike you, I will have headphones in, so any laughs will be a surprise. This is still a hostage situation though. Just like you on CoD, I lose these every time.

[yastaghr]

The head operatives of the GIW create a secure message chat to discuss the future plans after having successfully capturing the menace Phantom… not realizing they added reporter of the Daily Planet Clark Kent to the group chat.

[yastaghr]

I just had an idea. A wonderful, awful idea. Lex Luthor went to the same university that Jack, Maddie, and Vlad did. He, of course, shared a couple of classes with Jack. And Lex develops an unrequited crush on Jack. Jack is oblivious, and Lex knows that it couldn't go anywhere. It would get in the way of his plans. So he locked that possibility away to not be revisited until he meets Dr. Jack Fenton at a science conference where Jack is a keynote speaker...

I dont want to break up Maddie and Jack, but I think it'd be funny to have two evil billionaires trying to woo either Fenton and getting in each other's way.

[yastaghr]

DP xDC folks, here is your prompt:

Couple A is fake breaking up in an ugly, public display. They’re tired of folks being nosy and are very explicitly blaming said loved ones. They know who’s listening in and can visibly see the panic. It’s great.

Meanwhile, couple B is fake dating and, having nothing to do with this bullshit, are eating it up. They just wanted the Valentine’s menu at this restaurant, but who’d say no to dinner and a show? Of course they’re going to talk about it, it’s the golden couple!

What were YOU doing at the devil’s sacrament.exe starts running in the background.

[yastaghr]

Jason wished he could give a fuck beyond the hostage they were here for, but honestly? This latest cult’s lack of originality just pissed him off. Times like this, he wished contacts were an option to hide the glow so Dick would stop it with the puppy dog eyes.

“Stupid fucking corrosive reservoir condition,” he muttered.

“All good, Hood?”

“I’m fine, O. Just being a normal amount of crazy.”

“Chatter,” Batman snapped.

Jason groaned and checked his position for the fifth time. On Batman’s signal, they all dropped.

The plan was simple: neutralize the doomsday cultists trying to summon a creature to protect its daughter. They’d done harder, more complicated extractions with half the manpower and a quarter of the time.

Maybe it was the itch in his bones.

Maybe it was the sudden headache.

Maybe it didn’t matter what distracted him, because the outcome was the same. Jason had been pulling the unconscious hostage out of the summoning circle when he felt something hot against his neck.

Of course someone got a lucky shot.

All Jason could do was fling the girl clear as the green rose around him.

____

“Madam, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to step back,” Alfred said calmly, cocking his shot gun.

“Good thing you’re not gonna need that since it won’t work,” the glowing woman said. She crossed her arms and tapped a spectral foot. “Listen, this is entertaining, but it was a fight just to get here. I know you can help me get to my son.”

“And I believe I asked you to identify yourself.”

“Right, Jason didn’t have any pictures of me…”

“Madam, I will not ask—“

“Catherine Todd, at your service, Mr. Alfred.” The ghost glared. “Some fucker decided to botch summoning a, “nurturing spirit that would burn the world for their child,” so here I am.”

Alfred blinked, which was practically a spit take for him, and the shot gun lowered a fraction.

“Ms. Todd, that is quite the remarkable story. I don’t mean to cast any doubt, but…”

“Did I mention that I beat the shit out of Sheila for the right to be here?” Catherine’s smile was all knives. “The bitch might be blood, but that’s my baby she sold out. The spell didn’t leave much room beyond that.”

“Does that sound plausible?” Alfred said into his comm.

“It’s way more than probable,” Oracle responded. “I’ve lost Hood, RR, Wing and B. Black Bat was closest and is attempting recon.”

“Tell Barbara that Jason falling into the circle probably triggered a strong enough pulse to fry their tech. Ecto doesn’t play well with untreated electronics.” Catherine laughed at the carefully blank look Alfred gave. “Dead men tell no tales is a fucking lie. We’ve gotta pass the time somehow.”

“Well that’s… Hmm.” Barbara groaned. “If she knows, she knows. Bringing her down might be worth it.”

It was finally Alfred’s turn to smirk. He opened the door and lead Catherine towards the cave. Bruce wouldn’t like it, but he could be mollified. Video evidence of Sheila’s loss would be a powerful bribe.

[yastaghr]

Danny, as ghost king, has no actual ruling authority (Since ghosts hate being told what to do). This makes things awkward when magicians or heroes or cultists summon him to ask him to command his "subjects".

"Stop right there!" Spoiler cried, tied up and wriggling. Red Robin and Robin were near her, also similarly tied up and trying to get out. "You won't get away with this!"

One of the cultists laughed. "That's why you're wrong, hero! We will summon our god and he will turn this world into a paradise! Well, for us that is. For you... perhaps it will be hell."

"Can any of you hurry up and escape?!" Robin hissed.

"I don't see you getting out any faster!" Red Robin spat back.

"Shut up and focus!" Spoiler snarled, wriggling even harder.

However, they were too late. The spell was completed and as the world turned dark, the sigils glowing green alongside the candlelight, a young boy appeared in the portal.

"My lord, the Ghost King, High King of the Infinite Realms, Master of Darkness and God of Death! Obey us and heed our instructions!" The cultists said, as Robin started cursing up a storm.

The young teen stared at the cultists. There was an awkward moment of silence where even the three vigilantes paused.

"... right. What did you call me here for?" He eventually asked.

"We command you to call for your army of the undead and take this world under siege!"

The boy blinked several times. Then he said slowly, "Okay." He stood there in the rune circle, unmoving.

Another one of the cultists shouted, "Why are you not calling your undead army?!"

"Hmm? Oh, right, yes. My... undead army. Of course. I'll get right to it."

He still didn't move. Eventually, he turned to look at his wrist, but there was nothing except his gloved wrist. He looked to the other wrist, but there was still nothing. Now all three vigilantes and the other cultists stared at him with baffled expressions as the teen then said in a mutter, "Crap."

Pandemonium erupted as they then realized that whatever being was summoned did not actually know how to call for an army or needed to obey the bidding of the people summoning him.

Later, as Red Robin and Spoiler asked him who he was or why he couldn't do anything (since he seemed really agreeable), he answered with a grumble, "You try to wrangle over a billion ghosts who think you're a superpowered baby who shouldn't be ruling the ghost zone."

[yastaghr]

Danny, as ghost king, has no actual ruling authority (Since ghosts hate being told what to do). This makes things awkward when magicians or heroes or cultists summon him to ask him to command his "subjects".

"Stop right there!" Spoiler cried, tied up and wriggling. Red Robin and Robin were near her, also similarly tied up and trying to get out. "You won't get away with this!"

One of the cultists laughed. "That's why you're wrong, hero! We will summon our god and he will turn this world into a paradise! Well, for us that is. For you... perhaps it will be hell."

"Can any of you hurry up and escape?!" Robin hissed.

"I don't see you getting out any faster!" Red Robin spat back.

"Shut up and focus!" Spoiler snarled, wriggling even harder.

However, they were too late. The spell was completed and as the world turned dark, the sigils glowing green alongside the candlelight, a young boy appeared in the portal.

"My lord, the Ghost King, High King of the Infinite Realms, Master of Darkness and God of Death! Obey us and heed our instructions!" The cultists said, as Robin started cursing up a storm.

The young teen stared at the cultists. There was an awkward moment of silence where even the three vigilantes paused.

"... right. What did you call me here for?" He eventually asked.

"We command you to call for your army of the undead and take this world under siege!"

The boy blinked several times. Then he said slowly, "Okay." He stood there in the rune circle, unmoving.

Another one of the cultists shouted, "Why are you not calling your undead army?!"

"Hmm? Oh, right, yes. My... undead army. Of course. I'll get right to it."

He still didn't move. Eventually, he turned to look at his wrist, but there was nothing except his gloved wrist. He looked to the other wrist, but there was still nothing. Now all three vigilantes and the other cultists stared at him with baffled expressions as the teen then said in a mutter, "Crap."

Pandemonium erupted as they then realized that whatever being was summoned did not actually know how to call for an army or needed to obey the bidding of the people summoning him.

Later, as Red Robin and Spoiler asked him who he was or why he couldn't do anything (since he seemed really agreeable), he answered with a grumble, "You try to wrangle over a billion ghosts who think you're a superpowered baby who shouldn't be ruling the ghost zone."

[yastaghr]

more doodles for @nocturn02 from “Phantom at Pride” by @tourettesdog on ao3 :D

[yastaghr]

Imagine Danny walking down the street with this on a t-shirt

video under the cut

[yastaghr]

Happy Belated Father’s Day

[yastaghr]

Shock Delivered

[ continuation 1 / 2 / 3 ]

I gotta say, ever since @eva-dragon wrote this fic inspired by my previous posts, i’ve been itching to continue drawing this. but like,,,if i inspired them which then in turn inspired me… who is making fanwork of who??? i guess we’ll never know.

[yastaghr]

“Oracle, are you getting this?”

“Negative, visuals cut out the second you entered. I’m assuming you’ve found this mysterious Project Phantom?”

[continuation 1 / 2 / 3 ]

Just a little doodle I did in my spare time!!! Can’t stop thinking abt these guys lol. the idea of them just stumbling on him in a lab is too good.

[yastaghr]

“Oracle, I pulled this guy out of containment, but I’m not getting any vitals!”

“Then it’s a good thing you know what to do, and how fast you have to do it”

[ continuation: 1 / 2 / 3 ]

lol tim his heart isn’t supposed to beat and ur abt to retraumatize this boy w that shock

[yastaghr]

I like the idea of a Vulcan character who constantly does very reckless things so her human crewmates think she's strange but then she always has a logical explanation she delivers with absolute confidence.

"No, it was perfectly logical for me to jump out of the shuttle at that time. I had a breathing apparatus, and I was certain I could seal the subspace rift by hand before the Romulans opened fire. This was the only solution that would result in zero casualties. I might have died, but giving up is illogical."

She's known as one of the most fearless members of the crew.

Other Vulcans try not to acknowledge her.

[yastaghr]

Today's Seals Are: Soaking Weaners

[yastaghr]

Fic prompt #28

Dpxdc

Danny Phantom and everyone in Amity Park hated the Justice League with a passion. They had pleaded for help countless times, but the League never once responded. Now that peace had finally been restored—thanks to Phantom—the League had the nerve to show up and offer their support.

Everyone wanted to scream at them, but with the Anti-Ecto Acts still in effect, they didn’t dare take the risk. Every single resident was heavily ecto-contaminated, and they had all heard the stories about Batman’s contingency plans for his own teammates. They knew better than to stir up trouble.

So instead, they pleaded with Phantom to accept the League’s offer to join them—just to keep an eye on things. They needed someone they trusted in a position of power. And Phantom agreed.

What no one knew, however, was that Phantom wasn’t an adult—he was only 17. While incredibly smart, he was also mischievous. He decided to be a little shit about the whole thing: constantly lying about his species’ biology, weaknesses, and “life cycle,” even going so far as to pass new ghost laws—thanks to his position as Ghost King—that forced other ghosts to back him up.

[yastaghr]

here’s a hot take: giftwrap is dumb, 95% of the time you can just hand someone the thing and accomplish the same task. Society has conditioned us to love wrapping shit up for no reason, probably by gift wrap industry people.