yazee13

[yazee13]

Character flaws for non-perfect OCs and how I relate to them in real life

I got this as inspo from @kaylenmesoftly on TikTok who is a writer that talks about how to perfect writing. i'm no writer, but more of a reader

but 1 of her post really resonates and really simplify how I behave or how people around me behave in general and how it can effect themselves as well as the people around them

the post im talking about : Character flaws for non-perfect OCs (she has 2 parts)

Part 1 : https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSkNKp9SJ/

Part 2 : https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSkNKCcxC/

so lets start

1# too much of a good thing is…a bad thing

Trust : A too trusting person is naive and easily deceived

maybe me when I was younger (6-10 years old), kids absorbed stuff like a sponge and I am not a rebellious kid, quite opposite to listen to people older than you to learn more, that's what I did, an obedient kid

but in turn the adults around me at the time (I was under babysitter because my parents were busy working) were exploitative of me. one stole money from me and exploit labour from me like (there is difference between helping and doing chores for them) where everyday my babysitter would make me organize their kids book everyday for their school in the afternoon. due to that, it left me with quite hectic and tiring schedule that left me burnt out since i have 2 types of schooling (primary and religious school) at the age of 10-11 yo

i experienced bullying and cocsa in another babysitter household but realizing cocsa now when i was a teenager makes no point because their is no proof, only word and left me only with the experience to live with

my mom suspected something happened to me but the babysitter said otherwise

why did i not say no? maybe i dont have a spine at the time but for me, i though this was the norm. i never thought of speaking out for some reason

and it took a long time for me to reverse the damage

i realized it fucked me up because my childhood doesn't provide me with basic understanding on healthy bonding with other people whether friendship wise

for example, i attracted people that wants to exploit since in my mind even though it was sucky but i never took it as a sign to end a friendship.

i built bonds with people familial or friendship that i felt i have to be of servitude instead of connection in similar hobbies or manner or mindset

i am relearning that now

me now: very anxious and careful with people, prefer isolation though still think that creating bonds with people is important

lack social skills

Ambition : An overly ambitious person is reckless and overestimates their abilities

I think it can overestimates your ability due to ego

my experience ego is good because it makes you confident about something but for me ego dumbs me down if I get it too far because I don't bother checking anymore

my experience with it due to my background (middle class home, wants to have more in life)

how I see it affects people is their deteriorating relationship whether its your family, spouse or children

I always see it in movies whether in the pov of the ambitious person or the pov of their spouse, family or children, ambition can deteriorate a relationship because it is not focussed on community

usually ambition focuses on prestige, title, wealth and etc, ambitious people would chase their goals to no end

but if their ambition is you (I speculate in marriage perhaps) for example, if a person works hard solely to get money then they have no qualms to divorce their spouse or abandon their kids but if their ambition to work hard is to provide better life for them and their family then the focus would be different because their family well-being is their priority

reminds me of 2 choices whether to marry a rich person but stingy or poor person but generous

if you marry rich person but stingy, they would be stingy with you and your kids and you wont see a penny from the rich person

if you marry a poor person but generous, they would work hard for you and your kids to get the best that you can *maybe not accurate for this concept of ambition but similar manner of pros and cons you have to decide

Selflessness : A selfless character neglects their own needs, leading to burnout

I see this in many women in my life that burnout especially housewives

with toxic patriarchy household where the person who make most amount money (breadwinner)is the decision maker factor but actually in my household experience its fucking gender

when I was younger, my mom makes more but still contributes more to the household (chore wise) (50-50 dating gone wrong)

personally, in todays age, 50-50 is a scam because patriarchy culture does not recognize labour at home as true labour, just labour that makes money

idk but in theory for 50-50 dating style to work out, if you want that type of dating style, you need to be with someone who is aware of women disposition and how the systems disregards women (eg: someone that recognize the invisible labour)

my mom is the most selfless person I yet shes the most exhausted

even when she does not have much monetarily due to business down, she is generous to give in other ways such as her cooking and affection while my dad is currently the breadwinner of the family but is the most cheapest person I know and still want their children to treat them with me being the oldest currently still in college, he still asks me to treat him (I mean its ice cream but its frequent and the way he asks it is pushy and it still about the principle) because i know if he asks me this way know, imagine when i have my own salary

honestly i rather treat my mother and my sister (they need it more) than that stingy ass father

women becomes selfless and exhausted in household duties to numb themselves (not here to blame but its sad that becomes the norm and we are fucking here to change it!)

in toxic patriarchy household, it promotes women to be giving and sacrificial towards the family situation (job, body, mind, identity) whilst usually in these household, the men think that contributing money is the only responsibility that lets them get away from actually raising their child such as they dont even know their own children disposition or allergies and then expects people to respect them like a fucking king

yeah yikes, being a cashcow is not a flex to hold over peoples head just to get their respect

Optimism : Refusing to prepare for potential disasters, believing "everything will work out" or "be fine". Then a crisis hits, their lack of preparation shows

I usually see it with people that have type B personality maybe

usually wants to do things at their own time and pace or have someone type A to handle the leadership which usually for me leads to burnout and not relaxing at any time

Idk if im type A but in work I am, in life not that much

for me, my current work style is to work alone or if I cant help it and have to form group, im not going to be a leader and just let it run its course and choose other people next time since I prefer to work early too

Generosity : A philanthropist gives away so much money that they bankrupt themselves

I guess it depends on why they are generous in a healthy way or unhealthy

I imagine generous people that give in a healthy way or manner would still have boundaries such as they do not let other people push them into giving something, they give when and what they want to in terms of how it can let them carried away is because for example maybe money doesn't really matter much to them

generous people in general if get carried away may not realize that their actions effect other people such as their family such as a situation example I can think of is people that gives too much to the point letting it effect their children development

for example, marmee in little women latest adaptation where she gives to the german mother who has lots of children on Christmas day. for me, I mean I get you want to give to other people in need and teach your children to do so but please let the girls eat first before giving or at least set aside. it ends well with the neighbour giving food but I don't want to give to someone before giving the best to my family first

in my experience, generosity can manifests as a form of social protection. tying back to my bonding ritual to become servitude to other people and be useful to have a bond instead of connection, I realize that giving to other people is way for me to cope of in actuality it gives away my power due to how I use my generosity

I do it so that people don't bother me or call me stingy but doing it in the long run attracts unhealthy dynamics such as my relationship with my father.

someday, he will not have access to me and my resources and I want to give what I want to who I want and when I want

Perfectionism : An artist obsessively reworks their masterpiece, never finishing it and misses the exhibition that could have launched their career

experienced it personally when perfectionism prevents me from doing things that can make me have mistake

anything that I am not good or complete at is not worth pursuing or expressed

I had a hard time to do enjoyable stuff in free time because im not good at it or not good at it anymore

even now, it is a start for me to just ramble

but an epiphany when someone said that successful people make decision quickly due to them can smell opportunity

another epiphany is to start pursuing what I want because it would eventually lead me to my next lesson or blessing. lesson meaning what I want doesn't suit me or blessing because I want it even though its not perfect

so perfectionism hold yourself back from decision making out of fear