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[yellowfeaverpainting]

Wisdom i learned from Uta hagen’s respect for acting

 Reading chapter 1

Representational 

Presentational

The representational actor deliberately chooses to imitate or illustrate the characters behavior

The presentational actor attempts to reveal human behavior through a use of himself, through an understanding of himself and consequently an understanding of the character he is portraying

The illustration of a character's behavior at the cost of removing one's own psyche, no matter how brilliant the performance that results, creates an alienation between actor and audience

Formalized, external acting (representational) has a tendency to follow fashion

Internal (presentational) acting rejects fashion and consequently can become as timeless as human experience itself

Talent alone is not enough. Character and ethics, a point of view about the world in which you live and an education, can and must be acquired and developed.

Reach out to others

It is necessary to have a point of view about the world which surrounds you, the society in which you live; a point of view as to how your art can reflect your judgement.

To rebel or revolt against the status quo is in the very nature of an artist

Rebellion or revolt does not necessarily find its expression in violence. A gentle lyric stroke may be just as powerful a means of expression.

To portray things the way they are , to hold up a mirror of expression to the society, can also be a statement of rebellion

To maintain one's ideals in ignorance is easy; to maintain them with the full realization of the existing circumstances is not.

To accept “the way it is” is the opportunistic way out or the way of the ostrich; to attempt to battle it takes knowledge and character.

“I want to be the best actor in America” epitomizes the american disease of ambition for success accompanied by fame and fortune as proof of worth.

One may be the favorite of a certain group, but others have a different preference.

There is nop best each worked to create his own best, not to be the best

Love the art in yourself, not yourself in the art

Chapter 2

You have a tendency to copy what you have seen others do on stage, rather than to search within your own life experience to bring forth a new human being on stage

Why should every lady in waiting move like a ballet dancer? Why should every spare carrier stand as rigid as a cardboard? Why should the king and queen intone like bad opera singers without music? Where are the real human beings in these plays? They are lost behind ready made , fale forms

We look for the ordinary rather than the extraordinary in our daily lives, and so the explorations of ourselves become smaller and less important as we go along

Our sense of reality is limited. We look at our daily lives for convenient, recognizable behaviorisms to transfer to the stage

Water down the truth to make our stage life natural

My own self-image in a given situation, who i think i am, is not always what i really am

For each person you will present a different you

Previous circumstances and existing circumstances will bring about a different you

We must learn to understand and accept the facets of ourselves which we don’t wish to recognize

We must become self-observant enough not only to recognize our needs and define our feelings, but to connect them to the behavior which ensues.

The continuing job of learning to find out who you really are, of learning to pinpoint your responses and even more important, the myriad, consequent behaviorisms with result.

To seem to want or need a mask behind which to bury oneself often comes, not only from an incorrect concept but from a distrust in ourselves

The cat really exists with strong, spontaneous, forward-moving attention, and so it can surpass the actor, who is predictably busy with his stage life.

What is boring is not the real you in action, but the mechanical execution of a task whether it be over dimensional or tiny.

Your own identity and self knowledge are the main sources for any character you may play.

In sections of the country we are shaped by a society which is ashamed of spontaneous emotion.

Keep pace with the present. Take a trip to the moon. Envision the future

When looking at painting, put yourself into them instead of looking at them.

We must overcome the notion that we must become regular. It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre.

Chapter 3

One should reject the desire to show off.

Each object of the thing that I see or come in contact with must be made particular so that it will serve the new me and bring about the psychological and sensory experiences necessary to animate my actions.

I may even use a dozen elements from a dozen different relationships from my past and put them together to build this new relationship with my stage stella.

To do is a synonym for to act,

We are nowhere near the acting; I am still in the process of building a sense of reality and faith in my character.

When the actor has difficulty in finding a substitution for the content of a given scene as a whole, he can usually find the root of the problem in the fact that he's being too literal.

Taking this substituted psychological reality and transferring it to the existing circumstances and events in the play

I have used the past to make the present real

To work for an involvement for its own sake on stage bogs down the movement of the play, disconnects you from the play, makes you blind and eaf to the play. Beware.

There is much in a creative process that is almost intangibly real and mysterious, why compound the felony and make it moreso?

You must find your own substitutions if they are to be real value to you.

That substitution is the aspect of the work which strengthens your faith and your sense of reality in each stage of the total work on character, it is a way of bringing about justified, personal character actions.

Particularizing or to make something particular, as opposed to generalizing or to keep general, is an essential for everything in acting from identification of the character right down to the tiniest physical object you come in contact with.

I have made what is there particular rather than just assuming any ashtray.

Nothing should be allowed to remain general.

Chapter 4

An emotion occurs when something happens to us which momentarily suspends our reasoning control and we are unable to cope with this event logically.

At the moment of the release of the control, plus our adjustment to an attempt at control, we are overcome.

Human beings do not want this loss of control and usually make an attempt to cope with the emotion as it hits them.

Release object, a release of the censor which moves along with us and says, don’t lose control.

The consequence of this discovered procedure is endless.

Avoid the examination of any past experience which you have never talked about or wanted to talk about.

Without an understanding or a degree of objectivity to the experience it is useless to you artistically.

Actions themselves, verbal and physical, can generate strong emotions and can sometimes be as stimulating to an emotional release as any remembered inner object.

Emotion if furthered by the action.

When you claim that an emotion or a recalled object is wearing out for you by repetition, that it has lost freshness, you are failing technically.

Chapter 5

Sense memory, the recall of physical sensations.

Since the body has an innate sense of truth, we must learn some physiological facts to help us avoid the violation of the physical truth.

Bringing about your physical sensations for the characters stage life is fraught with many of the same pitfalls as the reproduction of emotional sensations

In that moment of adjustment, of attempting to overcome the heat, you will have a sensation of heat.

I am emphasizing the adjustments to overcoming the sensations because I believe that the sensations occur most fully at the moment when we are occupied with the attempt to overcome it.

After stimulating the imagination to the remembered feeling, they will bring it into the present for you.

This technique, recalling a localized sensation and finding a physical adjustment to alleviate it- is applicable to and condition you may be called upon to play.

The discovery of the sensations and how they influence you is there toon your action truthfully in the scene.

You are dictating the sensations, they are not dictating you.

Chapter 6

As a nation we have evidently become so desensitized that encounter groups, an essential part of whose programs seems to be learning to touch each other, have sprung up all over the country.

Full human contact employs all the senses, the more intense they are, the more highly they are developed, the more available is the potential of the actor this area of high sensitivity is where true talent lies

What we make of this sensitivity determines whether or not we can call ourselves artists.

A great danger is to take the five senses for granted.

You must also realize that self-involvement deadens the senses, and vanity slaughters them until you end up playing alone.

How the smell and sound of sizzling bacon can produce a feeling of well being. An unpleasant smell can be just as suggestive psychologically.

Taste is not only important but must be fully explored because in most instances on stage you won’t have the real thing.

I want a powerful sense of taste so that when i substitute another object for them on stage i will have similar sensations and adjustments

The visual contact we make with another human being or worth something in nature can act on us like a stroke of lighting

To really receive the nuance of verbal action and tone of voice rather than merely factually clicking it off with our auditory sense makes the difference between an actor and a hack.

Words are sent actively with content. You must listen for the intent of the words in order to receive them.

We also listen with our eyes. We interpret content and intention from an expression or movement which the action has given to the words.

Looking as well as listening, hinges on needs. Seeing is also balanced against expectations, immediate needs, and your past knowledge of the object.

While we talk we look intermittently at the person to whom we’re talking in order to see how they react to what we’re saying, to see if we have their attention, to see if they get the point, ect. What we see in these moments conditions how we continue our tale.

Simulated looking and listening must produce bad acting.

Anything dormant which you might awaken through daily concentrated attention to your senses will add to your growth as an actor.

Give meaning to what you receive when you see, when you heat, when you taste, when you smell, when you touch.

Chapter 7

Thought moves with such lighting rapidity that any attempt to slow it down is inaccurate, and so must bring about false behavior on stage.

Feeling obligated to illustrate thought, bodily or facially, comes from the mistaken notion that the characters thoughts manifest themselves in an organized progression.

Real thinking precedes, is accompanied by, and follows action.

Real thinking is active.

My thoughts spring from the contact with these inner objects (things or people not present in the room only as images in the mind) and bring about an inner action.

By contacting these inner objects, not present in the room, my thoughts flow forward quickly.

I never ask, “what were you thinking?” Instead I ask, “what were your inner objects?” so that you will get out of the habit of even verbally analyzing your thought process.

The actor's thinking depends on the subjective process of weighing the course of action by contact with inner and outer objects.

To act is to do, not to think.

The fight against these intrusions on true thought can be conquered only by strengthening and enlarging the circle of inner objects belonging to the play.

If any inner object in the play is not real to you, it will have no consequence in producing genuine thought.

The thoughts are anchored to the events and to the other characters.

Not only must these people and events and the things which tangibly surround you be clothed in reality for you by particularization and substitution, but everything that has happened connected with the surrounding circumstances as well.

Your objects will channel your attention into the private circle of your character's life.

You cannot dictate the order of your thoughts.

You must keep them fluid for your character's needs.

Chapter 8

Suddenly, the very act of standing became awkward. You became aware of your hands as unnecessary appendages. You lost a sense of character and place, and you became an exposed actor on stage, not a human being in a room. Then, you protected yourself by assuming a stance, a stage pose. This protective pose was probably borrowed from your earliest and most inept stage experience.

The reason for walking is destination.

The movement you create must come from carefully selected action which allows for the organic development of the character and the primary action of the scene

Each movement of true wandering has a destination, and is focused on a relevant object that we deal with in order to further the character and the story.

On stage, where every second counts, the objects should be selected and dealt with to reveal something new about the character or the circumstances, or both. The seeming illogical objects you have contacted in a strange order must be substantiated by the logic of the play.

[yellowfeaverpainting]

writing portfolio

I suppose something I never realized when I first walked into this class is how much I relied on the teachers guidelines. I consider myself a very creative person and sort of a rebel when it comes to somethings but I was always told that if you want to succeed in school you have to play “their” game. My mom always told me and my brother this anytime we disagreed with how an educational figure controlled their classroom. This class has been a refreshing bit of change from that. I feel as though I have a voice in this class and not only that but my voice is actually heard. I have definitely had my fair share of teachers that tell you that they will listen and try to adjust their course to the class but they never actually listen to their students. I wish i could tell you how much this class has helped me in my other classes but honestly this class, english 2010, is the only class i have this semester that requires me to write papers. This class was’t all good though it has definitely been a struggle to get used to the freeform, organic feeling that this class had. And even now I really have no idea how I am going to write a letter myself but not just any letter to myself, a one thousand word letter to myself.

This class has given me a new perspective on writing. I knew that there were different ways of writing but for the most part I had really on thought about formal and informal writing. Subconsciously I knew that you change your writing for different audiences just like you would change how you act or what you say around different people, but up until this class I feel as if no one had ever really done a specific assignment specifically designed to show you how a different audience can affect your writing. To the point I think that it could sound like you are talking about a completely different topic. That assignment, the opinion series, is one that had the most impact on me for sure. It was the assignment that made me really look at writing differently. 

The assignment that confused me the most would probably be the very first one we had, the project proposal. I feel it was confusing to me because it was the very first assignment of the class and I was definitely still getting used to the atmosphere of the room. I was also confused on the multiple occasions that I was told that “this is not the essay. That comes later”. This confused me because i was already writing the assignment as though it was an essay because i didn't know how else to write it. If it wasn’t the essay then what was it. After I figured out how the class worked and to be honest after i figured out how to translate everything you said in class into a way that i understood then the class went a lot smoother.

I have definitely enjoyed the lecture aspects and sad that it was cut short just close to the end. Even though I am a shy and quiet and pretty reserved person, I very much appreciate a class where I am allowed to have a voice, I am allowed to voice my opinion or question or concern and I know it will be actually heard and taken into consideration. Not just brushed to the side. In high school I took drama and the teacher was very much this way. She thought no matter how old you are, where you came from, who your parents were, everyone has a voice that deserves to be heard and that is how she taught in her class. And to be told at a high school age that I have a voice that deserves to be heard was very empowering and honestly made it spoiled those in her class just a little bit.

I would hope that this class would benefit me in the real world, not just the academic world. I think the most beneficial thing i was taught in this class this semester would be that when using quotes in a paper to not only build off what the quote said, because you end up using just repeating what the author of the quote said but just in your own words. Use the quote as a springboard to sort of jump off of and dive into your own ideas about the subject. As much as I love this philosophy of writing I also don’t think it should be used in every piece of writing that uses a quote. Sadly i have had teachers that don’t want my own ideas in papers because i am not a credible source. I am sure that there is some writing rule to back them up for why they have said this but it does bring up another great thing I learned in this class. Know who your audience is and how to write to them. 

Just like in acting it is important to know who your audience is when writing. You have to change for the audience because in most cases you're not just writing for yourself. you are writing to be heard, you are writing to achieve something. The audience is the entity that will decide if your writing deserves that achievement. In acting the audience is a very important part of the show and in performing in general. If the audience isn’t enjoying the show them what is the point of even being on stage. But just like in a paper you don't want to perform the play The crucible in front of an elementary school. Just the same as you don't really want to write a paper as though you were talking to a six year old but in reality you are writing a speech for a medical board. You have to follow certain edict and understanding in writing when considering who your audience is.

The last thing I have to say is specifically for you, my professor, to help improve this class even more. I am only assuming you have done this for all of your students but i am not sure. My suggestion is to write all of your comments, tips, critiques on the formal drafts so that way we as students can fix those comments on the final draft. That is the whole point of the formal draft. In the instruction you write the paper should be done but not have the polish, this is the point you would take it to the writing center. I also personally feel more motivated to fix a paper before I have turned in the final draft and moved on to other papers. Also most of the time i don’t even know what else to change or add to my paper when going from the formal draft to the final draft so getting the comments ahead of time would be most beneficial.

To conclude, I did really enjoy this class. It is not as easy of a class as it looks and it definitely takes some getting used to but in the end if i had the choice to relive it, i would. It was beneficial to my writing and to me as a person. To teach me new ways to write and think. It answered questions about writing I was supposed to know since middle school but no one else bothered to explain. I appreciate the knowledge this class has taught me and I look forward to seeing how it has benefited my future academic papers.

I chose tumblr to post to and my favorite post is entitled “the chronicles of things i should have told you” and it is actually real text messages i wrote in the notes on my phone just to get my thoughts out but i never actually sent them. I like it because they are raw and real and unfabricated so they reflect who I really am.

[yellowfeaverpainting]

Sound script i wrote for my poem

NARRATOR: too forget

{old project startup}

NARRATOR: Movies are like the burning, bitter taste of bourbon; that scorches your tonge and melts your throat. I drown my sorrows in movie quotes. 

{glass bottles clinking}

NARRATOR: I crawl inside the plot and whach my life waist away. I consume movies every night just to forget the day, one flim after another never stopping till i have to peel my eyes away from the screen. 

{pouring water}

NARRATOR: I never thought i had a problem till the usher told me i think its time to leave.

{old protector end}

NARRATOR: I inhale books as though they were a cigarette. Their words slowly replacing the oxygen i breath.

{inhale, exhale}

NARRATOR: I cain smoke

{page turn}

NARRATOR: series 

{page turn}

NARRATOR: after series, 

{page turn}

NARRATOR: book after

{page turn} 

NARRATOR: book. 

{page turn}

NARRATOR: The only thing that gets me through the day is when i leave my desk, take a step outside, and read a page from Pratchett. 

{foot steps}

NARRATOR: When i return home I sit on my back porch and puff a paragraph of Conan Doyle’s. 

{inhale, exhale}

NARRATOR: My shoulders relax as their words slowly float from my mouth and dissipate in the air. I was told long ago that if i kept this up i would surely die young, to bad i’ve been dead for years. 

{pause}

NARRATOR: Music is the heroine that i shoot into my arm. I can never escape the invedable high that comes from the songs soaring climax but neuton once said that what goes up must come down so here i am laying on the ground waiting for the inevitable crash that always happens as the music fades away. 

{classical piano}

NARRATOR: My dealers are the artists whose melodies seep into my brain. They have me hooked; for somedays i cant think of anything else except for tempting tempos and their enticing beats. 

{beats}

NARRATOR: But the point of being addicted is to forget everything around you and thats exactly what my music does.

{pause}

NARRATOR: Stories are my addiction.

{heart beat}

NARRATOR: I want to forget. To forget, just for a moment, everyone thats abandoned me. 

{door close}

NARRATOR: To forget everyone thats abused me. 

{punch}

NARRATOR: Used me just to throw me away again. I never ment to disappoint you. I never ment to give my heart and soul away so freely. 

{heart beat}

NARRATOR: I just want to forget. 

{heart beat}

NARRATOR: To forget and hide. 

{heart beat}

NARRATOR: Hide away in another life. 

{heart beat}

NARRATOR: Live anothers life 

{heart beat}

NARRATOR: through the movies i whatch, the books i read, the music i listen too. I do it because i’m so afraid to live my life. So afraid to be hurt again, so afraid to remember. So i forget. I whatch,

{projector click}

NARRATOR: i read,

{page turn}

 NARATTOR: i listen, to forget.

{piano note}

[yellowfeaverpainting]

Comic i will one day write

Two kids meet by chance at a maskerade ball. One is the prince, soon to be king, the other is a simple waitress and powerful witch. The two become friends than lovers as they grow closer. The two talk of a future far from responsibility and poverty, away from the princes family and his birth right. The two plan to run away together but the prince thinks of it as only a foolish game. Days before the corination the prince asks her to be his queen. Stunned the two fight, for she wanted to run away and made a promise to do so while he has betrayed their promise by trying to make her queen. After the huge fight the two storm off. After not talking for days, on the day of the coronation, the girl releases their love for eachother. As she runs to the castle she is kidnapped by royal guardsmen and taken to be thrown to the underworld by order of the new king. After hearing it was her love that sentenced her to death her heart turned black and her eyes grew cold. It was then that she vowed to destroy the prince at all costs. After being found in the underworld the witch is dragged to the lord, a wicked and coldhearted demon. She makes a deal with the demon that if her life is spared she will give anything he desires. He ignores the deal and orders her death but to his surprise she can not die. The theory is tested again and again before the lord smiles and accepts her deal. He tells she will be locked away unless she becomes his wife. She accepts. The two live together but fight constantly because of their equally cold personalities. But after one particularity bad fight she accidentally stabs the lord with her new uncontrollable powers. she starts to panic for she has never taken a life before. But the her surprise the lord gets up and sooths her. Explaining that he can help control her powers and take revenge. Shocked she asks how he knows. He explains that revenge and hate are very powerful and that she or he can not die or be killed until their thirst is satisfied. Their training proves very successful as she learns how to control her powers and on multiple occasions becomes her husband's personal executioner. The whole underground fears her. As news of the lords new executioner reaches the king, news of the kings engagement reaches the lord. The king invites the lord and his executioner to a dinner party. It is the kings plan to gage the executioner to see if the lord possesses a threat of overthrowing the king. The lord tells mara of the dinner but makes her agree that this dinner will be peaceful and a way to gather information about the king, queen, and castle. Mara reluctantly agrees and wears a mask to dinner to hide her face. Present at the dinner are the king and his new fiancee, the uncle, the captain of the guard and his wife, the lord, mara and many palace guards. At the dinner the casual conversation soon turns to quiet, quick-witted jabes between the king, the lord, the uncle, and the captain. The bannter about peace, trust, poverty, punishment, greed. The topic soon becomes the men asking questions about the lords executioner, who has remained quiet the entire dinner. "Why a women" "not a fit job for a proper lady" "why is she quiet" "why a mask" "does she really kill people" "whats her name" "why have you brought her". Having enough of their questions mara quickly stands up and stabs her dinner knife into the table. The room is silent as mara speaks "my name is mara, NOT WOMAN." She says fiercely. No one in the room moves until the queen breaks the atmosphere and askes of the women to move to the parlor with the men go to the study. As the women leave the room the king remembers something, he asks "who is that women" the lord responds with smug smirk "shes my wife". As the women enter the parlor the queen turns around to face mara and say "dont you think you should be somewhere else" before closing the in maras face. Mara becomes enraged and storms to the garden to calm herself and wait for her husband. She reminisces of the king, her past love and betrayal. She becomes enraged again and rips off her mask and smashes it on the ground. As hot tears stream down her face she hears a voice. "Ceally" when she turns she see on old friend that is now a palace maid. Mara feels a dull ache in her chest. As the maid steps forward mara steps back fear is written all over maras face, fear of the pain in her chest that arrives with this maid. Mara runs away and into the lord. The two quickly enter the car before the lord slams his hand into the seat. Mara flinches this is the first time she has been afraid of him, this does not go unnoticed by the lord. He asks where her mask is and why she was in the garden not the parlor. She explains the story and clenches her fists but relaxes when mentioning the maid, he makes a mental note and then rants about how terrible experience they just had and when he becomes king and take his revenge. At the mention of revenge the dull ache in her chest ceases. She then askes about the lords revenge story, it is then that they arrive at the house. He leads mara to the parlor and places a photo album in her lap. It here where we learn the lords home, family, and kingdom were all murdered, burned and taken from him by the humans in the name of conquest and power so from a young age samael grew up on hate and revenge. Wanting to destroy those who took from him. After hearing his story mara simply holds him unable to let go. As the two simpley embrace eachother mara falls asleep. After moving her to the bedroom. The lord goes in search of a book. A book that tells of the curse of revenge and hate. It grants those that have been utterly destroyed a second chance. It gives them immortality until their revenge is carried out, during this time the infecteds heart will turn black and cease all beatings this cause the infected to fell nothing other that loathing, anger, resentment and revenge. There is no known cure other than revenge, This causes the lord to think, how could she have been afraid of me if her heart is black? The next day mara comes down stairs for breakfast, when she enter the dining room she is grabed from behind and her throat is slit. Mara wakes with a gasp and is filled with rage at her attempted murder. Her eyes blaze with fury when she rises off the floor to see, sitting at the other end of the dinning room is her husband wiping blood from his dagger. "You." Mara seathes as her magic forms sharp crystal daggers. She slowly stalks her way over to him while hurling the magic dagger. He only calmly dodges them while explaining "i had to test a theory". Mara launches her self at him and soon a fight between the two breaks out. In the end the dinning room is destroyed and mara is pinned to the ground. The lord hovers above her smirking. "Just because i taught you well doesn't mean i taught you everything" he then passionately kisses mara. When they separate the lord simply says "i just had to make sure you were still you". Mara spits in his face and before he could reply mara flips him over her head. The lord lands on his back chuckling softly. Mara rises from the floor and harshly says "dont ever use me to satisfy your curiositys again". As mara is about to leave the room the lord raises his hand, holding a letter up. "Its from the king, addressed specifically to you." Mara uses her magic to snatch the letter then leaves without another word. The lord, still laying on his back, lowers his hand to rest on his stomach. Its only then that he notices the purple dagger protruding from his abdomen. He realizes then when he was flipped over he was also stabbed. He soon begins laughing. Mara reluctantly opens the letter thinking the maid gave up her identity. But the letter reveals an invitation to the kings maskerade engagement party that night. Mara unenthusiasticly reveals the news to samael. That night the two arrive at the doors two the castle dressed as a crow and a Phoenix. When the doors open to reveal the two outsider from the underground. The whole party stops. Samael gives a charming smile while mara only grips his arm tighter. The king greats them Hartley and the party once again commences. Samael prys from his wifes grip when he sees the uncle and captain sneak off together. Samael is quickly seazed by his wife again. Mara whispers to him "dont leave me, i dont think i can hold it together. I also killed everyone just for stareing". Samael reassured his wife he will be back in just a moment and runs off in the direction of uncle and captain. Samael listen by the door as the uncle asks the captain where she came from. The captain responds that his infomant said she just appeared at his side one day. The uncle asks for the specific date and releases its the same day he ordered for ceallys death. Just then a voice is heard in another part of the castle "guards seize her for assassination"...Mara whatchs as her husband rushes off down a hallway. When mara turns back to the crowd she finds all eyes on her. The Judging, cold eyes of arsostocracy. Maras rage boils as she remembers her time as a servent and how these people treated her. Just before mara could blow she gets pulled away from the crowd and around a corner. Before she can react she is pushed against a wall, her mask torn away. It is in this moment she meets eyes with the king. Their eyes lock and in a split second mara is being passionately kissed. She pushes the king away and draws her gun, pointing it at the kings head. The world seems to stop as mara trembles and the kings face reveal nothing but heart ach, betrayal, and confusion. Then the queen rounds the corner and sees the scene and calls for the gaurds. When mara looks from the queen back to the king her heart thumps. The pain causes her to calapse into the kings arms. Panic ensues after the crowd hears assassination. The crowd floods out the doors and through the gates, samael if swept away with them, locked outside the gates. The next day mara wakes in small room. Chained to the bed. While struggling against the chains the noise wakes the king who was alsleep in a chair. He quickly rushes over to mara but she screams at him DONT TOUCH ME. The king stumbles back. The look of hate, rage and disgust in maras eyes causes the king to look down. He asks mara do you really hate me so much you want to kill me? Mara is shocked by the question and pitiful sight, the dull ache returns. I did what i thought was deserved mara seethed. It was not so long ago that we loved ethother unconditionally the king cried. What happened mara? I GREW UP. Mara screamed. I saw through your confetions and promises and found only betrayal and heartbreak. Mara said. Are you saying this because i wouldn't run away with you? Because i wouldn't abandon my kingdom? You say you grew up yet YOU have been the one holding on to this petty selfish grudge letting in festter and infect you, driving you to attempted murder. At this point mara is enraged. You dont even acknowledge what you did to me. Do you even remember? Was i ever important to you at all or just there to keep you entertained? Mara screamed. You are not the ceally i know the king commanded. The ceally you know is dead and your the one who killed her. mara fearcly said. The king began to storm out of the room but mara screamed after him. YOU DESTROYED MY LIFE YOU BASTERD. I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL AND I HOPE I'M THE ONE WHO PUTS YOU THERE. Door slams shut and mara is left alone. As the king storms down the hall he runs into his uncle. His uncle confronts him on what happened at the ball and who is the girl. The king breaks down infront of his uncle explaining how he has finally found his love, ceally, but she is different, she is kindness and love but vengeance, and hatred toward him. The uncle consoles him and convinces him it was the the lord who filled his loves heart with hatred. The king becomes enraged at this and vows to kill the lord and all demons for tainting his love. He then stoms off to find the captain. The uncle calls he will help him in a moment. The uncle then runns off to maras room. In a hast he frees mara and explains to her that she has to do something about the king, not only has he wronged her but for trying to betray him he has vowed to kill all demons the day after his wedding. As mara is about to storm out of the room to deal with the king the uncle grabs her wrist and pleads her to go and warn the lord. If she dies trying to kill the king now then no one will be able to stop his plan. 

CHARACTER NAMES:

The lord: samael

The witch: mara/maraceal/ceally

The prince/king: lucan

The uncle: Benedict or brutas

The captain:

The queen:

[yellowfeaverpainting]

From when i created a character for my job

After her brothers death she has found comfort in baking and in the small town of evermore. She does not trust anyone or anything outside of her comfort zone.

Her parents were bakers and wanted her and her older brother to take over the family’s bakery. Neither she nor her wanted anything to do with baked goods. Ever since she was a kid she wanted to be a operatic singer. Her brother always urged her to follow her dreams and move to Paris to become a renowned singer, right up until his sudden death when Saoirse was 17. Her brother died of consumption. After the death Saoirse up and left her home town of evermore. She told no one of the sudden move except her closes friend Alice Williams. She moved to Paris and lived there a year before she got word that her parents died due to all the extra work and stress that was placed on them after losing two kids. Saoirse blames herself for the death of her parents, she then decided to grow-up a little so she moved to Ireland and perfect her talent of baking. She lived in Ireland for another 3 years before moving back to Evermore.

As a child Saoirse was raised to never judge on appearances but she always had a hard time trusting strangers and those different from her. Her brother was the one who taught her that the easiest way to trust people is to become friends with them first. She followed her brothers advice and began making friends with everyone in the town but still really struggles with trusting those not from Evermore.

[yellowfeaverpainting]

30 questions to ask your character

30 Character Questions

What motivates you?

Do you know what you want?

What do you want?

How will you get what you want?

What obstacles keep you from getting what you want?

Are you easy to get along with?

What kind of company do you keep?

What is your greatest strength?

How are your relationships?

Do you get along with your parents?

Are you giving or taking?

Do you love power?

What is your greatest weakness?

How would you define yourself?

Would you hold a grudge?

What are you most afraid of?

What is your darkest childhood memory?

Why does your journey matter to you?

What does a perfect world look like to you?

What is your biggest regret?

What do you fear losing the most?

What was your bravest moment?

Who is the person you would never want to see again?

Is it easy for you to forgive others?

Is it easy to admit when you're wrong/made a mistake?

What's your drink of choice?

Do you find it difficult to praise others?

How do you view other races or cultures?

Do you worry about what the future will bring?

What is your religious belief currently?

[yellowfeaverpainting]

close calls, cannibals, and carnage: short story

Close calls, Cannibals, and Carnage

Once while traversing through the amazon jungle, looking for lost treasure; something to put my name in the history books. It had been a long two months and I had lost half of my team to the jungles natural order. Animals, plants, and weather had all played a part in the deaths of my team. I was ready to call the expedition. There had been no glory for us. No new discoveries only death decay and destruction. Sadly though are luck had run our long before this. We had gotten lost on our way back to the campsite and lost 3 more men. That left only 4 of us including myself. We wandered through the jungle for what felt like hours. If we didn't die from starvation it was gonna be from exhaustion. Just before we collapsed we came to a clearing in the trees. Upon closer inspection we heard voices. After emerging from the trees we see a small village of huts and people carrying baskets filled with food and clothes and weapons. But these were not the type of people the movies depicted, no these were all lost explorers just like myself. One by one slowly finding each other and learning to survive together. It wasn't long before they noticed us and welcomed us with open arms. They asked me where I was from what I had been looking for and how hungry i was. I was so excited to meet and hear these other lost explorers tales that I didn't notice the 3 remaining members of my team taken off in a different direction. I was invited to a feast to welcome me as a lost explorer in the tribe. I gladly accepted. While sitting at the table for the first time I noticed my missing team i was about to ask when large plates of steaming meat were brought out. I took the largest piece i could find and dug in. I was almost finished when I asked what kind of animal this meat came from. A moment that will haunt me for the rest of my life. “Human” was the short reply I got. Then I thought of my team. I was eating the last remains of my 3 team members. I threw up and tried to run but was out numbered. They held me down and grabbed a spoon. They gorged out my eye and tried to sew my mouth shut but by some miracle I escaped. Maybe it was the need to survive. Maybe the sudden crash of lighting. Either way I escaped and found my way home. But that's not the end because i’m writing this story to you to distract myself from my constant need for human flesh.

[yellowfeaverpainting]

i had to write an internal monologue for my job

“I was only recently reawoken, stripped away from the afterlife. Crammed back into my heavily decayed body. It was all so fimiliar at first, like returning to your childhood home, like meeting your best friend that you thought you lost years ago. The longer I stayed in my body the more I heard it. Whisperings in a language I never heard. Always at the back of my mind. They were easy to ignore at first but they grew, they made themselfs heard. They always lead me to people. Constantly making me find people even when people didnt want to find me. It was all my fault when I gave them full control. Thats when I learned their truely evil. They infect by touch. They twist and distort people beyond recognition. I never ment for anything to happen to that poor boy. I didnt know what they were capible of. My purpose was to protect everyone from evil not inflict it upon everyone. I loath them and myself. But all I can do is hide and pray to the cruel gods that no one finds me and the evil inside me.”

Internal character monologue, for a character that has been possessed or a dead character that has now been brought back to life and how they react. They were happy being dead but now forced to do things they don’t agree with and now they’re slowly losing control.

[yellowfeaverpainting]

dialogue prompt

"I love you" he said.

"More than the sun and moon? More than the stars that guide you home? More than the ocean that calls your name? More than the way you long to fly?" Was my reply.

He paused for a moment and raised his hand to his chin, deep in thought about something he knew he couldn't win.

"See" i said "how can you say you love me when you don't even know what love is"

This raised his eyes and they stared into mine

[yellowfeaverpainting]

silly poems i wrote to keep my mind occupied

Masquerade:

Remember i'll be standing in the the center of the room. 

Wearing a dress, a mask, a costume.

Remember underneath the chandelier is where i wait for you.

I pray to god nobody's staring at me, i wonder how i'll make it through. 

You grab my hand, with stars in you eyes and old shoes on your feet. 

You whisk us away and we get lost in the beat.

The melody and tempo swirl all around us.

We're on an adventure only those who dare to dream can discuss.

But after all the passion, the night breaks away to day.

And i am left to hurt with how much i want you to stay.

I'll never tell how much i yearn for you, because i'm afraid the feeling wont last.

So i bury it deep down under memories of the past. 

Music:

Lips that kiss hymns up my side

And a hand that creates music notes to guide

Me away to place we can escape,

A world we can reshape.

A heart that sings 

And a voice that rings

Only the truth

My world has been filled with music 

Since meeting you I've been listening to the acoustics 

Summer days:

Hula hoops 

And loopty loops 

And chasing echother around 

Skateboard tricks 

And trying rip sticks

And never wanting to go

I love you 

Like the color blue

And hope you never change

Little things: 

I told you once before its the little things i love. 

Like tape bracelets and gelato and the future we always talk of. 

I love you to the point where it hurts to say goodnight i want to be with you, 

even if it takes us past midnight. 

It sounds silly in a poem but you have always been my sun, 

my constant bright star that can never be undone. 

Your words have become my oxygen that breathes life into my lungs, 

sort of ironic when you think about it because its your kisses that always finds a way to bind my tongue.

I guess what i am trying to say is that i have never really felt this way

Never wanted someone as much

Never cared about some as much

Never loved someone as much

As i love you

But we need a new word.

Because love is no longer enough to explain my feelings to you

Thats why i've taken to rhyming

To explain that an orange bracelet is only the beginning of an adventure that involves both me and you

Flying into the sun:

My dearest apollo,

I'm flying into the sun.

For i have always loved those summer days filled with endless fun.

You are by far the brightest star that drowns my endless night.

But sometimes when i look at you all i see is bright, bright, bright,

So do not look so worried when i sometimes look away

I'm simply basking in your light that changes my night to day.

You once told me that your not as bright as people like to think

But dear one 

i've only ever seen the dark while standing on the brink.

I once thought that i would melt if stood to long in your rays

But once again you prove me wrong by never letting me stray.

So hear i am writing a poem about the way you make me feel.

Because icarus was never right and the myth was never real.

Though i'd never tell you, i've fallen in love with your light that dissolves my shadows. Your warmth that chases away my cold.

And your fire that only seems to grow.

But dear one 

You are the sun and i am the moon.

You are destined to destroy all nightmares

And me 

I am your icarus slowly getting closer.

Destined only to fall apart at the finish line.

Falling into the ocean on a pair of broken wings.

But for the moment i'll bask in your warm glow

And watch the world faid away

For i'm flying into the sun.

[yellowfeaverpainting]

religious influence

Religious influence in utah

Is the religious influence a good thing? I have lived in Utah my whole life and was once a member of the predominant religion in Utah, The church of Jesus christ of latter day saints. I was raised in this religion and so were many of my friends. I remember not being able to play with my friends on Sundays, and always being at church every sunday. When I got a little older I wasn't allowed to drink coffee or dress a certain way. I was told specific guidelines to follow on dates. I was terrified to screw up or question anything. I remember when i would question the guidelines i was told to follow I would immediately get accusing looks, like I was doing something wrong. I never had a problem with these rules until they started to control who I was becoming. I wondered if this dominant influence in my life was really for the betterment of my life or was it just another social trap, another mold that my community was trying to stuff me into. I eventually left the religion when I began to wonder if this religious influence was really a good thing.

Religious influence has touched all over the world from establishing states and countries such as Utah or Israel. Religion also has an influence in politics. Some politicians let their religious views dictate what law should or shouldn't be made. Some countries run on the views of their predominant religion. Religious influence also stretches all the way back to prehistoric humans and how they lived and explained the world around them. Religion became a means of survival for some. Whole countries depend on religion to govern them and the people within. Religion starts wars and slaughters. It also influences us from a sociological standpoint and how we can or can not act around our social circles, but religion will also offer support and hope in people's time of need. Some religions send out volunteers in times of crisis or even just to volunteer at a local soup kitchen. Religious influence is more predominant in people's lives than they realize.

In 1847, Brigham Young led a company of Mormon pioneers into the Salt Lake Valley and said, “This is the place.” From that day on the area that would eventually become where the state of Utah was established. Young at the time was also the leader of the LDS religion. He had led that company of pioneers across the west in search of freedom from religious persecution. After being run out of other states the pioneers decided to look for and create their own settlement, which would eventually become modern day Utah. 

 At the time of the pioneer's arrival into the Salt Lake valley, the LDS religion had been established for around 25 years and was still establishing rules and guidelines for its members. Some of those rules included avoiding tobacco and alcohol use, as well as avoiding coffee and tea. Some beliefs continue to this day while others (i.e. plural marriage) were abandoned as they were a source of contention with the federal government. As these rules and beliefs were developed and established it begs the question, why? Why not allow the consumption of coffee or tea? Tobacco and alcohol use is understandable given the health risks associated with their use but, coffee? It doesn't have the same health risks that smoking tobacco does nor does it come with the social taboo that plural marriage has. Plus, it wasn’t until the religion had been established for years that these specific rules came about. 

Most rules within religion have been constant such as avoiding sexual relations outside of marriage or avoiding tobacco and alcohol while others have changed with the times such as allowing African American’s to hold the priesthood. These rules influence and dictate how the members are to make decisions and, in some ways, dictate how they live their lives. But is this type of extreme influence good in a person's life. Does it not take away their independence, their individuality, and their agency? All qualities the church encourages but sometimes appears to do its best to influence. 

Last year the lds church sent an email out to the members of its church urging them to vote no to the law legalizing medical marijuana. The Deseret new writes and explains the reasoning behind the church's decision. The question is though would this email be a breach of separation between church and state. No matter the reasoning behind the email it is blatantly telling its members how to vote. “As a member of the coalition, we urge voters of Utah to vote NO on Proposition 2, and join us in a call to state elected officials to promptly work with medical experts, patients, and community leaders to find a solution that will work for all Utahns, without the harmful effects that will come to pass if Proposition 2 becomes law”(Deseret News 2018). The quote I chose is taken directly from an email the lds sent to its members. It is a specific example of separation between church and state. The separation between church and state is the jurisprudential concept for defining political distance in the relationship between religious organizations and the nation state. Religions shouldn't tell people how to vote or what to vote for and politicians should not base their views or how the country should be run on their own personal religious values. Separation between church and state is a way to create balance between everyone's own personal views and morals.

The Scopes Monkey Trials is another example of separation between church and state. In which a teacher was arrested for teaching about evolution in a school in tennessee. Tennessee in 1925 passed a law which prohibits the teaching of darwinism in schools. It was the first law in the United states that banned the teaching of evolution. There are currently 14 states in the United States that use tax dollars to teach creationism within public schools. “The Butler bill, which had been passed in March 1925, made it a misdemeanor punishable by fine to “teach any theory that denies the story of the Divine Creation of man as taught in the Bible, and to teach instead that man has descended from a lower order of animals.” (History.com Editors 2010). I wanted to use the scopes monkey trials as another historical example of religious influence and separation between church and state but the interesting twist about the scopes monkey trials is that the case was lost. The teacher who was convicted had to pay a fee in the end for breaking the law but the verdict was overturned due to a technicality. Even though the verdict was guilty the court recognized the scopes monkey trials raised the public's awareness of teaching theology and/or modoer science in public schools. The trail raises the distinct divide between urban and rural american life in the 1920’s. The scopes monkey trials is used as an emblem on the creationist v. elelutionist controversy.

In the 13th century the puritan church were slaughtering people on the premise that they were witches. The puritain church encouraged its members to condon their neighbors as witches. It was a moment where fear controlled a religion and anything they deemed different or going against their ways was evil and immoral and therefore put to death. The Salem witch trials are an example of religious influence and fear working together to slaughter innocent people. Some people at this time were so brainwashed into thinking that any little thing out of place was because of magic, anything they couldn’t explain through religion or the bible was therefore witchcraft and evil. “Puritan lifestyle was influenced heavily by the church and Christian beliefs. Church was the cornerstone of the mainly Puritan society of the 17th century.”(Blumberg 2007).  Puritan laws were extremely rigid and the members of society were expected to follow a strict moral code. Due to this fact, anything that was believed to go against this code was considered a sin and deserved to be punished. The Puritans also believed strongly in the wrath of God and did everything they could to prevent themselves from receiving it. This is why the witch scare was taken so seriously and the accused were punished harshly. The first women to be accused as witches were those who strayed from the Puritan lifestyle and were considered to be social outcasts. Religion can influence a mass group of people for the worse is what this quote and the entire Salem witch trials show. It's a religious group of people who teach to be different is a sin. The puritan s were scared of God’s wrath and had to quel anything they deemed evil and sin immediately or else god would punish them. They used their religious influence to keep people in line and to accuse neighbors, friends, even family. It is an historical example of fear and religious influence coming together to create the perfect storm to slaughter the falsely accused people.

Every major religion has some kind of crusade. Some kind of purification time period in which a religion tries to purge any other religion. Such is the case in the 13 century when the christian faith lead cursades to take back their holy lands such as jerusalem from other major religions such as muslim or jedaism through war and violence. In modern day Iran the christine population has dropped from 1.5 million to less than 120,000 because of the religious persecution in the middle east. “Throughout the remainder of the 13th century, a variety of Crusades aimed not so much to topple Muslim forces in the Holy Land but to combat any and all of those seen as enemies of the Christian faith. The Crusaders slaughtered hundreds of men, women, and children in their victorious entrance into Jerusalem.”(History.com Editors 2010) I used the crusades as an ancient example to show that religious influence is not a new concept. Religious influence has been around as long as religion has. The crusade are specifically a christion example of a extreme way of converting people to their religion. There are religions that still do this today, it has never gone away.

Why do people need religion in the first place? Why has religion always played a part in influencing people's decisions throughout history. There are as many different theories regarding why humans developed religion as there are religions. There is no definite answer, however. One theory is that religion is to enhance self-control. Another theory would be that religion was created to enhance a sense of cooperation. Another theory being explored by psychologists suggests the religion may be a byproduct of trying to find order in chaos. Humans anthropomorphized their environment to believe the world around them was created for their use; to answer the questions they have about the world around them. The american Psychology Association article entitled A reason to believe talks about the history of how religion was first developed by prehistoric humans. It goes on to explain how religion was first developed as a way to explain the natural phenomenons around them. Before science was able to explain the word around ancient civilizations used legends and stories, those legends and stories were their religion. These stories influenced how they saw the world around them. They created the wrath of gods to explain natural phenomenons. The world influenced their beliefs. They needed to understand the world around them and created religion to compensate for a lack of understanding. “Most researchers don’t believe that the cognitive tendencies that bias us toward religious belief evolved specifically for thinking about religion. Rather, they likely served other adaptive purposes. For example, because people are quick to believe that someone or something is behind even the most benign experiences, they may perceive the sound of the wind rustling leaves as a potential predator. In evolutionary terms it was probably better for us to mistakenly assume that the wind was a lion than to ignore the rustling and risk death.”(Azar 2010). This quote is used to show that there are also physiological reasons for religious influence. That before technology and we had the brain comprehension to understand the world around us, before we had complex thinking religious influence was there even before religion had a name. Religion was a sort of prehistoric thinking that kept us moving and aware of the world around us, it kept us alive before we had the understanding to do it ourselves.

Psychology Today writes an article entitled why do people believe in God. The article talks about how people use religion as a safety net in their everyday lives. How undeveloped countries have a higher religious rate than developed countries. This is because people use God and religion as a safety blanket for their cruel world. They believe in a higher power that will keep them or their family safe. The article talks about how affordable health care can also play a role in the religious rates because the United State has a high religious rate but the article argues that this is because we don’t have affordable health care. We don’t have that assurance that our government will come to our rescue when we are sick or injured so the idea of a higher power that will always be there for us looks more appealing. “There are societal factors that influence the degree of religious belief within societies. As a general rule, religious belief is considerably lower in developed countries compared with the underdeveloped world. The United States, with its high standard of living and high religiosity, is the glaring exception. However, as Mercier and his colleagues point out, Japan and Western European have universal health care and extensive social safety nets, as opposed to the U.S. The Japanese and the Europeans know their governments will come to their aid in their hour of need. But the laissez-faire attitudes of American society make people’s futures less certain and the belief in a benevolent God more attractive.” (Ludden 2018). This quote is to reflex that not only does religion influence the world but outside forces also influence a religion. People turn to God when the world has turned against them so it makes sense that underdeveloped countries have higher religious rates. It's the same when a dying atheist suddenly turns toward religion in his last moments, to have some sort of safety net. Religion is the escape, the light at the end of the tunnel for those who have nothing. Religion gives hope and peace, it brings people comfort in times or anxiety but if you're not worrying about where your next meal will come or if you have a safe place to sleep tonight or how you’ll get clean water then you don’t see God's guiding light as a necessity in your life.

Religion can promote people to be more aware of how others in their community view them. But it also leads to judging your neighbors and the way they live their life. It promotes a sense of community but also a sense of keeping up with the joneses. People have to make themselves look better than their neighbors. They convince themselves that the way they are living their life is more moral than another because they are living in a religious community that encourages this train of thought. This article by the Association for Psychological Science explains how religion influences  a person's self control. How growing up in a religion can influence how a person views themselves in a community. “It’s not entirely clear what cognitive mechanism is at work in religion’s influence on self-control. One possibility is that religion makes people mindful of an ever watchful God, and thus encourages more self-monitoring. Or religious priming may activate concerns of supernatural punishment. A more secular explanation is that religious priming makes people more concerned about their reputation in the community, leading to more careful self-monitoring.”(Ludden 2018). The quote I have chosen shows how religion influences how people act in their social groups. It is another example of how religion can have physiological effects on people. It influences how they see themselves, how they see their neighbors and how they act around their neighbors. Religion influences how people act the same way we would train a pet, through punishment and reward. You do something good and moral, you follow the rules we set for you, you go to Heaven, Nirvana, Paradise, Moksha, you get blessed. If you're bad and break the rules you go to Hell, Hades, Samsara, you get punished. It is the same idea of when people use cautionary tales to scare young children into following the rules and being good.

While religious influence can definitely have a negative effect on the masses it can also have a positive effect as well. The article by the heritage foundation talks about all of the positive things religion does for a person and community. Religion can influence people to become better by not smoking or drinking. It can encourage people to reach out and help those in need. It promotes the necessity of family and also gives young children a support system in case they can’t go to family. Religious influence has negative effects and positive effects just like anything else. Considerable evidence indicates that religious involvement reduces "such problems as sexual permissiveness, teen pregnancy, suicide, drug abuse, alcoholism, and to some extent deviant and delinquent acts, and increases self esteem, family cohesiveness and general well being. Some religious influences have a modest impact whereas another portion seem like the mental equivalent of nuclear energy. More generally, social scientists are discovering the continuing power of religion to protect the family from the forces that would tear it down." (Fagan). This quote is to show the positive effect religion can have on one's life. It can give people hope and provide a strong moral compass for people. It gives young children strong morals to grow up with and a support system they can go to outside of their parents. Religion can provide good life advice and hope to those living in troubling times. It helps people from dark physiological places and even out of dangerous situations. It offers support and love to those with nowhere else to turn.

Gretchen Ely is a proffessor and assosiate dean at the university of buffalo writes an artical about the abortion policies in other contries and what those countries predominant religion is. She writes about how strict laws are purposly put into effect to create it harder for a person to afford an abortion. She talks about how such laws and acts are advocated specifically by christian politicians in the United states. “Title X funds have never been used to pay for abortion services. But by eliminating funding for facilities that offer abortions in addition to other reproductive services, the Trump administration rule may leave millions of low-income Planned Parenthood patients without family planning care. The new rule is part of an old American effort, promoted by Christian activists and lawmakers, to make legal abortions as difficult as possible to obtain”(Ely 2020). The quote i have choosen supports my reasearch because it gives an example of how religouse influence can affect reproductive health, specifically abortion and how abortion can be a nessecity to women all over the world but due to some out dated laws influenced by certian belifs abortion are hard to get in certian areas of the world. 

Huffpost published an article entitled A Detrimental Influence: The Effect Religion has on Laws. The article goes on to explain the influence religion has on laws. It gives example such as how same-sex marrige used to be illegal in some states. It talks about certain forms of contraception are illegal because the predominant religion has placed a large importance on procreation. Not to long ago same-sex marrige was illegale until suprime court ruled against it. The laws against same-sex amrrige where all completly based on religion and personal befeifs. In no way was it causing any harm to anyone and yet it was still illegal. “Religion should remain what it truly is — a voluntary belief, not science and not law. One of the main issues in the world today is the fact that to some people, religion and the Bible or the Torah or the Qur’an is science and the law. This belief has, and still is, causing fatal problems throughout the world. In many places, forms of contraception are illegal. Even if these women are extremely impoverished, and cannot feed themselves (let alone a child), and have a large chance of dying due to unsafe birth conditions, they have no choice but to have the baby. Even more controversial is the issue of abortion. 52 of the world’s 196 countries only allow abortions to save the mother’s life. That is 26 percent of the world. This prevents family planning worldwide and can be extremely detrimental to a woman’s mental and physical health.”(Veselka 2012). The quote i chose from the huffpost article is important because it explains why religion should not be in lawmaking. It gives examples of how religion can influence people's personal lives by changing laws such as who they can or can not marry. Religion in many ways is a person's opinion. While it is important to have an opinion they shouldn’t be the determining factor in law making. If you decide to create a law based purely on your opinion you force everyone to follow something they don’t agree with. You're forcing your opinion on other people. Religion Is good to give people a moral compass. Don’t steal, don’t murder, don’t lie, all good advice from a moral stand point.

Religious influence has touched all across history, from ancient Greeks writing stories of gods on mountains to modern day religious persecution and wars. Religion has had influence in law making and reproductive health policies. Religion gives people a safety net and a place to fall back on in times of crisis. But religious influence has also caused great harm to others in extreme cases when fear and hate controls a religion. It helped ancient people explain the world around them and this does this for others today. People don’t realize how much religion influences everything around them and sometimes for the worse. In some cases religious influence does not belong in society, when it causes fear and hate, when it tries to control its members. But there is no denying that without religion the society and world we live in would be a much different place.

[yellowfeaverpainting]

the Chronicles of things i should have told you

You know one thing about you that pisses me off alittle.... i hate how you always make me conform to you when it comes to speaking.... you always make me talk about things i don't want to talk about or you always make me talk when i have nothing to say... i know you don't like silence but that's my safe space, i like quiet i don't mind quiet. I don't like word vomit and meaninglessly talking about things... conversations are draining to me so i only speak when i have something to say.... you cant keep forcing me to talk

Did you know that sometimes you make me feel so.... stupid

I hate that you smoke weed and do drugs but i would never tell you that because i have some of it with you and you find comfort or something in it and i can't take that away from you

Umm i want you to know that i don't ever think your boring and i'm never bored with you. Your an adventure and a breath of fresh air

Umm i want you to know that i don't ever think your boring and i'm never bored with you. Your an adventure and a breath of fresh air, your an unexpected surprise and a loveable mess. Your anything but ordinary and i love it. Your everything i wanted in a partner and friend and nothing i expected.... your my heart and soul and the love of my life how can i ever get bored of that. Emotions are just really hard for my sometimes and even harder for me to talk about.... you know you one out of three people who ask me if I'm ok and genuinely want to help.... I'm not use to it i'm use to someone else's problems always being top priority thats how i grew up..... there's lots of things about me that are fucked up because of my childhood and I'm trying my best to fix them you just have to be patient with me…

I was planning on eating the pizza with you... it just freaks me out when i think we've planned something and then you ask if we're actually

Heres the thing i dont want to go out, i don't want to have to drive all the way to salt lake and back but here's the fucked up thing i know i'll regret it and beat myself up if i dont go. I'm just so fucking sick of my fucked up contradicting feelings and my parents are no fucking help right now, i'm tired... i'm tired of emotions.... but its fucked up of me to tell you this before your family dinner.... just... i dont know i really dont know right now

Hey, i'm not trying to be needy or clingy or desperate, if you want space right now i totally get it but could you just let me know so i dont think you just wanted to fuck me and thats it now you run off... or even if thats was your intention from the beginning could you please just tell me... sorry for bothering you

It's easy to think about how you feel but it becomes harder when you try to put it into words. It's like all the words you wanted to say just get stuck in your. Like there is an invisible wall blocking your voice from escaping. I desperately try to break this wall everytime i look at you… everytime i stare into your red and green eyes i want to tell you everything… how much it hurts to leave you, how desperate i am to be around, how annoyed i get that you haven't fallen in love with silence the same way i have. I have gotten so use to my quiet, silent world that when you entered my story you were like a clap of lighting. My ears are still ringing. You came into my life unexpectedly and unapologetically. I want to tell you everything that comes to my mind but i get scared and i don't know why… i don't know why I'm so scared of you… i don't know why my words to you get caught in my throat. I don't know how to explain to you that i want to be so desperately close to you and yet so far away, so distant at the same time. I only wish that i could somehow find the words to explain all this to you. I can only hope that one day when you stare into my eyes you will understand.

[yellowfeaverpainting]

opinion series

Why do people need religion? Religion has a substantial influence on our psyche. Religion has been with us since the beginning of man, since prehistoric humans started exploring the world around them. Since they started to question why the moon changed shape and why the seasons changed. Religion also has an influence on how we view ourselves inside communities and social situations. Religion is another force that gives society social norms to follow. Social status also has an influence on our religious beliefs. Whether we are rich and comfortable or poor and in need of help, our social status influences the way we believe.

Before science was able to explain the word around them ancient civilizations used legends and stories, those legends and stories were their religion. These stories influenced how they saw the world around them, they created the wrath of gods to explain natural phenomenons. The world influenced their beliefs. The american Psychology Association entitled A reason to believe talks about how religion was first developed as a way to explain the world around us. “most researchers don’t believe that the cognitive tendencies that bias us toward religious belief evolved specifically for thinking about religion. Rather, they likely served other adaptive purposes. For example, because people are quick to believe that someone or something is behind even the most benign experiences, they may perceive the sound of the wind rustling leaves as a potential predator. In evolutionary terms, says Atran, it was probably better for us to mistakenly assume that the wind was a lion than to ignore the rustling and risk death.”(Azar 2010). This quote shows some physiological reason for religious influence, that before technology and complex thinking religious influence was there even before religion had a name. It was this sort of prehistoric thinking that kept us moving and aware of the world around us, it kept us alive before we had the understanding to do it ourselves.

 Religion can promote people to be more aware of how others in their community view them. It promotes a sense of community but also a sense of keeping up with the joneses. People have to make themselves look better than their neighbors. They convince themselves that the way they are living their life is more moral than another. This article by the Association for Psychological Science explains how religion influences  a person's self control. How a religion can influence how a person views themselves in a community. “It’s not entirely clear what cognitive mechanism is at work in religion’s influence on self-control. One possibility is that religion makes people mindful of an ever watchful God, and thus encourages more self-monitoring. Or religious priming may activate concerns of supernatural punishment. A more secular explanation is that religious priming makes people more concerned about their reputation in the community, leading to more careful self-monitoring.”(Ludden 2018). The quote chosen shows how religion influences how people act in their social groups. It influences how they see themselves, how they see their neighbors and how they act around their neighbors. Religion influences how people act the same way we would train a pet, through punishment and reward. You do something good and moral, you follow the rules we set for you, you go to Heaven. If you're bad and break the rules you go to Hell. 

People use God and religion as a safety blanket for their cruel world. They believe in a higher power that will keep them or their family safe. Affordable health care can also play a role in the religious rates. The United States has a high religious rate but the argument could be made that this is because we don’t have affordable health care. Psychology Today writes an article entitled why do people believe in God. The article talks about how undeveloped countries have a higher religious rate than developed countries. “Finally, there are societal factors that influence the degree of religious belief within societies. As a general rule, religious belief is considerably lower in developed countries compared with the underdeveloped world. The United States, with its high standard of living and high religiosity, is the glaring exception. However, as Mercier and his colleagues point out, Japan and Western European have universal health care and extensive social safety nets, as opposed to the U.S. The Japanese and the Europeans know their governments will come to their aid in their hour of need.” (2011). This quote is to reflex that not only does religion influence the world but outside forces also influence a religion. People turn to God when the world has turned against them so it makes sense that underdeveloped countries have higher religious rates. It's the same when a dying atheist suddenly turns toward religion in his last moments, to have some sort of safety net. Religion is the escape, the light at the end of the tunnel for those who have nothing. 

Azar, beth. “A Reason to Believe.” Monitor on Psychology, American Psychological Association, Dec. 2010, www.apa.org/monitor/2010/12/believe.

Ludden, David. “Why Do People Believe in God?” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 21 Aug. 2018, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-apes/201808/why-do-people-believe-in-god.

“Why Do We Have Religion Anyway?” Association for Psychological Science - APS, 9 Nov. 2011,www.psychologicalscience.org/news/were-only-human/why-do-we-have-religion-anyway.html.

  Every major religion has some kind of crusade. Some kind of purification time period in which a religion tries to purge any other religion. Such is the case in the 13 century when the christian faith lead cursades to take back their holy lands such as jerusalem from other major religions such as muslim or jedaism through war and violence. In modern day Iran the christine population has dropped from 1.5 million to less than 120,000 because of religious persecution in the middle east. “Throughout the remainder of the 13th century, a variety of Crusades aimed not so much to topple Muslim forces in the Holy Land but to combat any and all of those seen as enemies of the Christian faith. The Crusaders slaughtered hundreds of men, women, and children in their victorious entrance into Jerusalem.”(History.com Editors 2010) religious influence is not a new concept. Religious influence has been around as long as religion has. The crusade are specifically a christion example of a extreme way of converting people to their religion. There are religions that still do this today, it has never gone away.

In the 13th century the puritan church were slaughtering people on the premise that they were witches.  The Salem witch trials are an example of religious influence and fear working together to slaughter innocent people. Some people at this time were so brainwashed into thinking that any little thing out of place was because of magic, anything they couldn’t explain through religion or the bible was thoroughfare witchcraft and evil. It was a moment where fear controlled a religion and anything they deemed different or going against their ways was evil and immoral and therefore put to death. Puritan lifestyle was influenced heavily by the church and Christian beliefs. According to Discovery Education, “Church was the cornerstone of the mainly Puritan society of the 17th century.”  Puritan laws were extremely rigid and the members of society were expected to follow a strict moral code. Due to this fact, anything that was believed to go against this code was considered a sin and deserved to be punished. The Puritans also believed strongly in the wrath of God and did everything they could to prevent themselves from receiving it. This is why the witch scare was taken so seriously and the accused were punished harshly. The first women to be accused as witches were those who strayed from the Puritan lifestyle and were considered to be social outcasts. Religion can influence a mass group of people for the worse is what Salem witch trials show. It's a religious group of people who teach to be different is a sin. The puritan s were scared of God’s wrath and had to quel anything they deemed evil and sin immediately or else god would punish them. They used their religious influence to keep people in line and to accuse neighbors, friends, even family. It is an historical example of fear and religious influence coming together to create the perfect storm to slaughter the falsely accused people. 

The Scopes Monkey Trials is an example of separation between church and state. In which a teacher was arrested for teaching about evolution in a school in tennessee. Tennessee in 1925 passed a law which prohibits the teaching of darwinism in schools. It was the first law in the United states that banned the teaching of evolution. There are currently 14 states in the United States that use tax dollars to teach creationism within public schools. “The Butler bill, which had been passed in March 1925, made it a misdemeanor punishable by fine to “teach any theory that denies the story of the Divine Creation of man as taught in the Bible, and to teach instead that man has descended from a lower order of animals.” 

I wanted to use the scopes monkey trials as another historical example of religious influence and separation between church and state but the interesting twist about the scopes monkey trials is that the case was lost. The teacher who was convicted had to pay a fee in the end for breaking the law but the verdict was overturned due to a technicality. Even though the verdict was guilty the public recognized  The scopes monkey trials raised the public's awareness of teaching theology and/or modoer science in public schools. The trail raises the distinct divide between urban and rural american life in the 1920’s. The scopes monkey trials is used as an emblem on the creationist v. elelutionist controversy. 

History.com Editors. “Crusades.” History.com, A&E Television Networks, 7 June 2010, www.history.com/topics/middle-ages/crusades.

 Religious Aspects, msu.edu/~shahfaiz/Salem/religion.html.

“Scopes Monkey Trial Begins.” History.com, A&E Television Networks, 29 July 2019, www.history.com/this-day-in-history/monkey-trial-begins.

  Is the religious influence within Utah a good thing? I was raised in religion and so were many of my friends. I remember not being able to play with my friends on Sundays, and always being at church every sunday. When I got a little older I wasn't allowed to drink coffee or dress a certain way. I was told specific guidelines to follow on dates. I never had a problem with these rules until they started to control who I was becoming. I wondered if this dominant influence in my life was really for the betterment of my life or was it just another social trap, another mold that my community was trying to stuff me into. I eventually left the religion when I began to wonder if this religious influence was really a good thing.

An artical I read talks about the abortion policies in other contries and what those countries predominant religion is. it writes about how strict laws are purposly put into effect to create it harder for a person to afford an abortion. Such laws and acts are advocated specifically by christian politicians in the United states. “Title X funds have never been used to pay for abortion services. But by eliminating funding for facilities that offer abortions in addition to other reproductive services, the Trump administration rule may leave millions of low-income Planned Parenthood patients without family planning care. The new rule is part of an old American effort, promoted by Christian activists and lawmakers, to make legal abortions as difficult as possible to obtain”(Ely 2020). This quote gives an example of how religouse influence can affect reproductive health, specifically abortion and how abortion can be a nessecity to women all over the world but due to some out dated laws influenced by certian belifs abortion are hard to get in certian areas of the world. 

Certain forms of contraception are illegal because the predominant religion has placed a large importance on procreation. Not to long ago same-sex marrige was illegale until suprime court ruled against it. The laws against same-sex amrrige where all completly based on religion and personal befeifs. In no way was it causing any harm to anyone and yet it was still illegal. “Religion should remain what it truly is — a voluntary belief, not science and not law. One of the main issues in the world today is the fact that to some people, religion and the Bible or the Torah or the Qur’an is science and the law.”(Veselka 2012). This quote I chose from the huffpost article explains why religion should not be in lawmaking. Religion in many ways is a person's opinion. While it is important to have an opinion they shouldn’t be the determining factor in law making. If you decide to create a law based purely on your opinion you force everyone to follow something they don’t agree with. You're forcing your opinion on other people. Religion Is good to give people a moral compass. Don’t steal, don’t murder, don’t lie, all good advice from a moral stand point.

Last year the lds church sent an email out to the members of its church urging them to vote no to the law legalizing medical marijuana. Many people defend the church and try to explain the reasoning behind the church's decision. The question is thought would this email be a breach of separation between church and state. No matter the reasoning behind the email it is blatantly telling its members how to vote. “As a member of the coalition, we urge voters of Utah to vote NO on Proposition 2, and join us in a call to state elected officials to promptly work with medical experts, patients, and community leaders to find a solution that will work for all Utahns, without the harmful effects that will come to pass if Proposition 2 becomes law”(Deseret News 2018). It is a specific example of separation between church and state. Religions shouldn't tell people how to vote or what to vote for and politicians should not base their views or how the country should be run on their own personal religious values. Separation between church and state is a way to create balance between everyone's own personal views and morals.

Deseret News. “Church Sends Email to Utah Latter-Day Saints Urging Them to Vote No on Marijuana Initiative.” Deseret News, Deseret News, 24 Aug. 2018, www.deseret.com/2018/8/23/20651840/church-sends-email-to-utah-latter-day-saints-urging-them-to-vote-no-on-marijuana-initiative.

Ely, Gretchen E. “When Religious Ideology Drives Abortion Policy, Poor Women Suffer the Consequences.” The Conversation, 4 Jan. 2020, 

 Veselka, Camille. “A Detrimental Influence: The Effect Religion Has on Laws.” HuffPost, HuffPost, 4 Feb. 2012, www.huffpost.com/entry/a-detrimental-influence-t_b_1106045.

[yellowfeaverpainting]

opinion series 3

Every major religion has some kind of crusade. Some kind of purification time period in which a religion tries to purge any other religion. Such is the case in the 13 century when the christian faith lead cursades to take back their holy lands such as jerusalem from other major religions such as muslim or jedaism through war and violence. In modern day Iran the christine population has dropped from 1.5 million to less than 120,000 because of religious persecution in the middle east. “Throughout the remainder of the 13th century, a variety of Crusades aimed not so much to topple Muslim forces in the Holy Land but to combat any and all of those seen as enemies of the Christian faith. The Crusaders slaughtered hundreds of men, women, and children in their victorious entrance into Jerusalem.”(History.com Editors 2010) religious influence is not a new concept. Religious influence has been around as long as religion has. The crusade are specifically a christion example of a extreme way of converting people to their religion. There are religions that still do this today, it has never gone away.

In the 13th century the puritan church were slaughtering people on the premise that they were witches.  The Salem witch trials are an example of religious influence and fear working together to slaughter innocent people. Some people at this time were so brainwashed into thinking that any little thing out of place was because of magic, anything they couldn’t explain through religion or the bible was thoroughfare witchcraft and evil. It was a moment where fear controlled a religion and anything they deemed different or going against their ways was evil and immoral and therefore put to death. Puritan lifestyle was influenced heavily by the church and Christian beliefs. According to Discovery Education, “Church was the cornerstone of the mainly Puritan society of the 17th century.”  Puritan laws were extremely rigid and the members of society were expected to follow a strict moral code. Due to this fact, anything that was believed to go against this code was considered a sin and deserved to be punished. The Puritans also believed strongly in the wrath of God and did everything they could to prevent themselves from receiving it. This is why the witch scare was taken so seriously and the accused were punished harshly. The first women to be accused as witches were those who strayed from the Puritan lifestyle and were considered to be social outcasts. Religion can influence a mass group of people for the worse is what Salem witch trials show. It's a religious group of people who teach to be different is a sin. The puritan s were scared of God’s wrath and had to quel anything they deemed evil and sin immediately or else god would punish them. They used their religious influence to keep people in line and to accuse neighbors, friends, even family. It is an historical example of fear and religious influence coming together to create the perfect storm to slaughter the falsely accused people. 

The Scopes Monkey Trials is an example of separation between church and state. In which a teacher was arrested for teaching about evolution in a school in tennessee. Tennessee in 1925 passed a law which prohibits the teaching of darwinism in schools. It was the first law in the United states that banned the teaching of evolution. There are currently 14 states in the United States that use tax dollars to teach creationism within public schools. “The Butler bill, which had been passed in March 1925, made it a misdemeanor punishable by fine to “teach any theory that denies the story of the Divine Creation of man as taught in the Bible, and to teach instead that man has descended from a lower order of animals.” 

I wanted to use the scopes monkey trials as another historical example of religious influence and separation between church and state but the interesting twist about the scopes monkey trials is that the case was lost. The teacher who was convicted had to pay a fee in the end for breaking the law but the verdict was overturned due to a technicality. Even though the verdict was guilty the public recognized  The scopes monkey trials raised the public's awareness of teaching theology and/or modoer science in public schools. The trail raises the distinct divide between urban and rural american life in the 1920’s. The scopes monkey trials is used as an emblem on the creationist v. elelutionist controversy. 

History.com Editors. “Crusades.” History.com, A&E Television Networks, 7 June 2010, www.history.com/topics/middle-ages/crusades.

 Religious Aspects, msu.edu/~shahfaiz/Salem/religion.html.

“Scopes Monkey Trial Begins.” History.com, A&E Television Networks, 29 July 2019, www.history.com/this-day-in-history/monkey-trial-begins.

[yellowfeaverpainting]

opinion series 2

Is the religious influence within Utah a good thing? I was raised in religion and so were many of my friends. I remember not being able to play with my friends on Sundays, and always being at church every sunday. When I got a little older I wasn't allowed to drink coffee or dress a certain way. I was told specific guidelines to follow on dates. I never had a problem with these rules until they started to control who I was becoming. I wondered if this dominant influence in my life was really for the betterment of my life or was it just another social trap, another mold that my community was trying to stuff me into. I eventually left the religion when I began to wonder if this religious influence was really a good thing.

An artical I read talks about the abortion policies in other contries and what those countries predominant religion is. it writes about how strict laws are purposly put into effect to create it harder for a person to afford an abortion. Such laws and acts are advocated specifically by christian politicians in the United states. “Title X funds have never been used to pay for abortion services. But by eliminating funding for facilities that offer abortions in addition to other reproductive services, the Trump administration rule may leave millions of low-income Planned Parenthood patients without family planning care. The new rule is part of an old American effort, promoted by Christian activists and lawmakers, to make legal abortions as difficult as possible to obtain”(Ely 2020). This quote gives an example of how religouse influence can affect reproductive health, specifically abortion and how abortion can be a nessecity to women all over the world but due to some out dated laws influenced by certian belifs abortion are hard to get in certian areas of the world. 

Certain forms of contraception are illegal because the predominant religion has placed a large importance on procreation. Not to long ago same-sex marrige was illegale until suprime court ruled against it. The laws against same-sex amrrige where all completly based on religion and personal befeifs. In no way was it causing any harm to anyone and yet it was still illegal. “Religion should remain what it truly is — a voluntary belief, not science and not law. One of the main issues in the world today is the fact that to some people, religion and the Bible or the Torah or the Qur’an is science and the law.”(Veselka 2012). This quote I chose from the huffpost article explains why religion should not be in lawmaking. Religion in many ways is a person's opinion. While it is important to have an opinion they shouldn’t be the determining factor in law making. If you decide to create a law based purely on your opinion you force everyone to follow something they don’t agree with. You're forcing your opinion on other people. Religion Is good to give people a moral compass. Don’t steal, don’t murder, don’t lie, all good advice from a moral stand point.

Last year the lds church sent an email out to the members of its church urging them to vote no to the law legalizing medical marijuana. Many people defend the church and try to explain the reasoning behind the church's decision. The question is thought would this email be a breach of separation between church and state. No matter the reasoning behind the email it is blatantly telling its members how to vote. “As a member of the coalition, we urge voters of Utah to vote NO on Proposition 2, and join us in a call to state elected officials to promptly work with medical experts, patients, and community leaders to find a solution that will work for all Utahns, without the harmful effects that will come to pass if Proposition 2 becomes law”(Deseret News 2018). It is a specific example of separation between church and state. Religions shouldn't tell people how to vote or what to vote for and politicians should not base their views or how the country should be run on their own personal religious values. Separation between church and state is a way to create balance between everyone's own personal views and morals.

Deseret News. “Church Sends Email to Utah Latter-Day Saints Urging Them to Vote No on Marijuana Initiative.” Deseret News, Deseret News, 24 Aug. 2018, www.deseret.com/2018/8/23/20651840/church-sends-email-to-utah-latter-day-saints-urging-them-to-vote-no-on-marijuana-initiative.

Ely, Gretchen E. “When Religious Ideology Drives Abortion Policy, Poor Women Suffer the Consequences.” The Conversation, 4 Jan. 2020, 

Veselka, Camille. “A Detrimental Influence: The Effect Religion Has on Laws.” HuffPost, HuffPost, 4 Feb. 2012, www.huffpost.com/entry/a-detrimental-influence-t_b_1106045.

[yellowfeaverpainting]

opinion series 1

Why do people need religion? Religion has a substantial influence on our psyche. Religion has been with us since the beginning of man, since prehistoric humans started exploring the world around them. Since they started to question why the moon changed shape and why the seasons changed. Religion also has an influence on how we view ourselves inside communities and social situations. Religion is another force that gives society social norms to follow. Social status also has an influence on our religious beliefs. Whether we are rich and comfortable or poor and in need of help, our social status influences the way we believe.

Before science was able to explain the word around them ancient civilizations used legends and stories, those legends and stories were their religion. These stories influenced how they saw the world around them, they created the wrath of gods to explain natural phenomenons. The world influenced their beliefs. The american Psychology Association entitled A reason to believe talks about how religion was first developed as a way to explain the world around us. “most researchers don’t believe that the cognitive tendencies that bias us toward religious belief evolved specifically for thinking about religion. Rather, they likely served other adaptive purposes. For example, because people are quick to believe that someone or something is behind even the most benign experiences, they may perceive the sound of the wind rustling leaves as a potential predator. In evolutionary terms, says Atran, it was probably better for us to mistakenly assume that the wind was a lion than to ignore the rustling and risk death.”(Azar 2010). This quote shows some physiological reason for religious influence, that before technology and complex thinking religious influence was there even before religion had a name. It was this sort of prehistoric thinking that kept us moving and aware of the world around us, it kept us alive before we had the understanding to do it ourselves.

 Religion can promote people to be more aware of how others in their community view them. It promotes a sense of community but also a sense of keeping up with the joneses. People have to make themselves look better than their neighbors. They convince themselves that the way they are living their life is more moral than another. This article by the Association for Psychological Science explains how religion influences  a person's self control. How a religion can influence how a person views themselves in a community. “It’s not entirely clear what cognitive mechanism is at work in religion’s influence on self-control. One possibility is that religion makes people mindful of an ever watchful God, and thus encourages more self-monitoring. Or religious priming may activate concerns of supernatural punishment. A more secular explanation is that religious priming makes people more concerned about their reputation in the community, leading to more careful self-monitoring.”(Ludden 2018). The quote chosen shows how religion influences how people act in their social groups. It influences how they see themselves, how they see their neighbors and how they act around their neighbors. Religion influences how people act the same way we would train a pet, through punishment and reward. You do something good and moral, you follow the rules we set for you, you go to Heaven. If you're bad and break the rules you go to Hell. 

People use God and religion as a safety blanket for their cruel world. They believe in a higher power that will keep them or their family safe. Affordable health care can also play a role in the religious rates. The United States has a high religious rate but the argument could be made that this is because we don’t have affordable health care. Psychology Today writes an article entitled why do people believe in God. The article talks about how undeveloped countries have a higher religious rate than developed countries. “Finally, there are societal factors that influence the degree of religious belief within societies. As a general rule, religious belief is considerably lower in developed countries compared with the underdeveloped world. The United States, with its high standard of living and high religiosity, is the glaring exception. However, as Mercier and his colleagues point out, Japan and Western European have universal health care and extensive social safety nets, as opposed to the U.S. The Japanese and the Europeans know their governments will come to their aid in their hour of need.” (2011). This quote is to reflex that not only does religion influence the world but outside forces also influence a religion. People turn to God when the world has turned against them so it makes sense that underdeveloped countries have higher religious rates. It's the same when a dying atheist suddenly turns toward religion in his last moments, to have some sort of safety net. Religion is the escape, the light at the end of the tunnel for those who have nothing. 

Azar, beth. “A Reason to Believe.” Monitor on Psychology, American Psychological Association, Dec. 2010, www.apa.org/monitor/2010/12/believe.

Ludden, David. “Why Do People Believe in God?” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 21 Aug. 2018, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-apes/201808/why-do-people-believe-in-god.

“Why Do We Have Religion Anyway?” Association for Psychological Science - APS, 9 Nov. 2011,www.psychologicalscience.org/news/were-only-human/why-do-we-have-religion-anyway.html.

[yellowfeaverpainting]

The words i wanted to say but never did

It's easy to think about how you feel but it becomes harder when you try to put it into words. It's like all the words you wanted to say just get stuck in your. Like there is an invisible wall blocking your voice from escaping. I desperately try to break this wall everytime i look at you… everytime i stare into your red and green eyes i want to tell you everything… how much it hurts to leave you, how desperate i am to be around, how annoyed i get that you haven't fallen in love with silence the same way i have. I have gotten so use to my quiet, silent world that when you entered my story you were like a clap of lighting. My ears are still ringing. You came into my life unexpectedly and unapologetically. I want to tell you everything that comes to my mind but i get scared and i don't know why… i don't know why I'm so scared of you… i don't know why my words to you get caught in my throat. I don't know how to explain to you that i want to be so desperately close to you and yet so far away, so distant at the same time. I only wish that i could somehow find the words to explain all this to you. I can only hope that one day when you stare into my eyes you will understand.