yellowgrapes

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these dark thoughts wont leave my mind

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“I’m often asked what’s your secret to success. The shorter answer, put in that work.” BEYONCÉ | Dear Class of 2020

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G A U D I’S  Barcelona Spain

© K. Albert

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A post shared by A (@misboxie)

🎶bloom baby, bloom 🌸🌼🌺#plusone #latepostasalways😅 #naturalhair https://www.instagram.com/p/B-QCTidpnVv/?igshid=8h6bhxg5hbcg

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Regressing

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Hang in there 💛

💛💛

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today is one of those days. those crawl back in bed and cry days. been trying to keep it together but the last few days have been harder to keep in control. I dont get why i still get back to this place. This roller coaster sucks.

Nobody really uses tumblr so i can post this

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got my provisional license to practice for the UK yesterday *woohoo*

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filter got my face looking far less flawed than it is in real life 😩

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one october sunday morning

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another night of tears. 

fantastycznie. 

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“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.”

— C.S. Lewis

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name change

Just changed the name of this page from CobblestoneEditionMD to misboxieMD.

‘Cobblestone Edition’ referred to the fact that i was living in Poland and the old towns are cobblestone streets (which i love!) and this was the path id be on towards getting my MD.

All my social media handles are misboxie hence the new handle — and it’s also shorter.

When i first started this page i didnt want people to know i got into med school because i was scared about “what if i fail and get kicked out?” So i made it separate from my personal tumblr @yellowgrapes .

I kinda wish i was bold enough to have just posted on my personal page, but it’s also cool to keep this almost strictly medical but with some personal posts.

So yeah, the name’s changed but it’s still me so dont be alarmed if you see this new handle on your tl 🙂

Thanks for the support through this journey 💛

[yellowgrapes]

Last day of my family med rotation.

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my step 2 CS experience

i just took step 2 CS on Friday. yet another 8 hour exam. 

see what had happened wuzz … i kinda didn’t have a date because i had moved my date and the only thing available was a date in like december or so. i knew i was gonna try to move it back to sometime in aug/september but nothing was available. I managed to get a date but it was 1 week before the exam. 

like when i saw the email my heart almost left my body due to the intense anxiety. i didn’t want to pay $400 to move my date (since i was less than 2 weeks away from the date) so i stuck with it. I had to amp up the practice with my sister, my friend in houston and a doctor friend in ghana. it was intense. managed to get through all of the cases (maybe minus 1 or 2). mastered some more than others. 

i took the day before the exam off to study and be relaxed. i ended up panicking and crying after breaking down because i just seemed to be messing up more and more. the anxiety was getting to me. 

on D-day, i was pretty anxious too – i can’t think when I’m anxious. i made some mistakes. i overthought a right diagnosis into a wrong one. i unfortunately didn’t give closure at the end of one encounter. like the announcement saying the encounter was over started right as i was words into my closing :( 

after the exam i realized i should have left 1 or 2 cases at 1-2 differentials instead of trying to force them into 3. 

so I’m just praying that i pass at this point. i cringe everytime i remember something from it. 

on the bright side, it’s one down. 

i still have CK to go.

 then PLAB 1, then SJT and PLAB 2. then LEK. *sigh*

[yellowgrapes]

they were unkind to you. don’t let that make you unkind.