yesiac

[yesiac]

#he’s doing his best bonus:

[yesiac]

yknow the more jk rowlings world falls apart in america (race relations, international history, population, etc) the more i like to think that america just straight up doesnt have the statute of secrecy. european countries are falling over themselves hiding magic but come to georgia and theres a drunk redneck wizard wingardium leviosa-ing the shit out of a tractor to the delight of his drunk redneck muggle buddies in a walmart parking lot.

wizard on muggle violence is prevented by virtue of there being like a 50/50 chance that muggle is packing heat. muggle on wizard violence is prevented by knowing that wizard can give you boils spelling LIL BITCH on your forehead if you try to start something.

america is the weird redheaded stepchild of the magic world.

[yesiac]

i guess if skype is going to offer me rpg-style dialogue tree options it’s only right that they include one that gets the player character punched in the face

[yesiac]

most tumblr jokes are utterly embarassing to say in public but today i said to someone “bold of you to assume i have dignity” and i won’t lie it was the most powerful I’ve felt in years

[yesiac]

cooking site, 10th paragraph of page titled “rustic pulled pork recipe”: my grandfather’s childhood was tough. every day he had to work the mines. he was only 6 months old when he held is first pickaxe.  As he crawled into the mine elevator, just a little baby boy of one, he-

me, growing frantic: resippy

[yesiac]

Alright, nerd. You wanna learn something? I’ll teach you something. I’mma teach you the meaning of life. How do you like them apples? Now over the last 2.500 years Western philosphers have formed three main theories on how to live an ethical life…

bonus:

[yesiac]

#when the girl who wrote you a love letter ignores you

[yesiac]

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

[yesiac]

game developers: our world is inhabited by unique creatures the likes of which you’ve never seen before!

game developers: and giant spiders

[yesiac]

An absolute badass

[yesiac]

“This Is Why You’re Always So Tired”

[yesiac]

Correct, and very succinct.

[yesiac]

the knowing eye contact women make when men are talking is the purest human connection possible

[yesiac]

Are you ever reading a super over long pretentious book and just think. Wow. This man. knows a lot of words. but concise. is not one of them.

[yesiac]

Countless studies: hot showers are bad for you!! They dry out and damage your skin!

Me: I Will Boil Myself Like A Lobster If I So Choose

[yesiac]

Do you have recommendations for low stress but still absorbing games? Think Harvest Moon for levels of optional combat and few high-pressure moments, but you can still get lost in it for a few hours. (My girlfriend’s new to games and has wrung every ounce of enjoyment possible out of Stardew Valley - I’m trying to think of where I could steer her next that’s not an atmospheric walking simulator or another farm sim)

Is there any specific reason you’re ruling out atmospheric walking simulators? If that’s her expressed preference, that’s well enough, but if you’re pre-emptively ruling them out of your own initiative because you don’t think they count as real games, I’m judging you so hard right now. =P

That said, in terms of titles with low-stress but mechanically involved gameplay that aren’t about growing vegetables, you could have a look at any of the following. I’m going to try and stay away from visual novels and point-and-click adventure games here, and I suspect that for your purposes they may fall prey to the same issue as atmospheric walking sims; i.e., not having much in the way of mechanical depth. Let me know if that’s a bad assumption on my part!

AER: Memories of Old - An open-world exploration game with light dungeon-crawling elements. You play as a woman who can transform into a bird exploring a world of floating islands. This one verges on “atmospheric walking simulator” territory, as the puzzle-filled dungeons are few and far between, leaving you to spend most of you play time just flying around seeing whatever there is to be seen, but there’s just enough dungeon-crawling action to keep it out of that bucket.

FAR: Lone Sails - This one might be described as a casual engineering sim. You play as an apocalypse survivor of indeterminate gender and species piloting a land-ship across a dry ocean bed in search of other survivors. At fixed intervals, you’ll disembark to solve puzzles to upgrade your vessel or clear obstacles. At first, the only challenge is keeping your ship fuelled; additional complexities such as repairing wear and tear, putting out engine fires, and so forth are introduced gradually so as not to overwhelm.

GRIS - Like AER, above, this one treads the line between a walking simulator and a puzzle-platformer, albeit with a stronger sense of progression; though the game is linear, there’s a Metroidvania-like upgrade system whereby you gradually gain more mobility options throughout the course of play. Occasional tense action sequences, though it isn’t possible to fail them or die – you get achievements if you get through them without getting hit, but play continues regardless.

Recettear: An Item Shop’s Tale - A super-cute (and hilariously translated) game about a girl who’s been obliged to run an item shop to make ends meet after her father runs off to become an adventurer. Imagine a traditional JRPG where you’re the shopkeeper. There’s a stiff learning curve, but failing to hit your targets just time-loops you with no inventory loss, so you can keep trying until you get the hang of it. Dungeon crawling is present but – apart from one quest – optional during the main game, though it plays a bigger role in the postgame.

Regency Solitaire - Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, and I agree that most solitaire games are tedious shovelware, but this one’s the exception to the rule. The puzzles are engaging, well-crafted, and elaborated upon just enough not to overstay their welcome, and the story mode’s writing is exceptional for the genre. (The same folks later developed the same mechanics into a full-featured visual novel/RPG hybrid in the form of Shadowhand, but the latter is very combat-dense, so probably not the best choice here.)

RiME - Basically, if you the aesthetics of AER (above) grabbed you, but you’d prefer something with meatier gameplay, you could check out this one instead. It has much higher puzzle density, as well as occasional action sequences. (Though not combat as such – you’ll occasionally be menaced by monsters, but dealing with them involves avoiding, trapping or pacifying them, not straight up fighting them).

She Remembered Caterpillars - A self-described “fungipunk” logic puzzle game where you guide adorable little spore critters through a series of surreal environments using colour-matching to pass through various gates. Definitely the closest to being a pure puzzle game of anything on this list, though it also has a strong unfolding narrative to help sustain interest.

Yeah, I know that’s a little heavy on the puzzle games; low/no-combat casual simulations that aren’t at least partly about farming is a shamefully underserved genre in the English-speaking world, at least on the PC.

(In terms of upcoming titles, you could also keep an eye on Elsinore – a visual novel/adventure game hybrid about Ophelia Groundhog Day-ing her way through the plot of Hamlet, trying to find the perfect ending where nobody dies – and Mineko’s Night Market – a crafting/shopkeeping sim along largely the same lines as the previously plugged Recettear.)

[yesiac]

Biggest fucking mood.