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[yesiamyesiamagain-blog]

The Greatest Story Ever Told

Once upon a time, time didn't exist at all, making everything in this story completely irrelevant.

Or did it? Yes it did. No it didn't. Yes it did.

"Indecisiveness!", said the Marshmallow Banana, before getting nuked by a government merge between China and a graham cracker. The graham cracker then went on to buy out Disney because of their arrogance.

But instead of making movies, they sold car insurance which made Geico jealous and made them decide to sue Disney. Before any of the trials could happen, however, McDonalds sued Geico for having soap bars in their bathrooms which vaguely resembled the negative color palate of their logo!

Before any of the trials could get underway, everyone died for no reason. Or did they? No they didn't. Yes they did. No they didn't.

"Who keeps doing this?", the writer asked confusededly. "Muhahahahahahahahahahahhahah!!", someone said. "You're doing this aren't you?!", the writer proclaimed. "Yes, it is I! The evil disembodied voice with unspecified powers! Now, with my evil maliciousness...ness...I will rule the world!"

But alas, before he could do anything, the evil disembodied voice with unspecified powers burst into flames and died because of his cliched dialogue.

Everyone was then revived because the plot required them to be.

Suddenly, Phoenix Wright showed up and instantly won all of the course cases in his favor! Because he is always Wright. And that pun was so terrible, it not only caused World War 64 to happen in a New York cafe called 'the Corndog', but it also caused everyone on earth to get a disease known as fifanven, the disease where those who suffer from its symptoms have the random urge play Final Fantasy VII. But instead of trying to cure it, everyone just sat around and complained about it on the internet (all the while continuously praising the game for its excellence).

Thankfully, Goku gathered the Dragon Balls to cure the disease! But instead of summoning Shenron, it summoned Batman, who punched everyone in the face and forced them to watch the Dark Knight trilogy.

But when the sky started raining baskets of apples and Toyota went bankrupt, Han Solo quickscoped his job resume and became a rich hobo.

Meanwhile in Japan, everyone decided to be racial stereotypes by doing nothing but eating ramen noodles and watching anime all day. That is, until they realized everyone in America already did that, so they all gave up and pursued a real hobby like watching Seinfield all day.

"And they all lived happily ever after", the writer said unenthusiastically. "Wait, I thought I was the narrator!? I'm the one writing this!", said the writer. "I'm afraid this is MY story now...it is I, the evil disembodied voice with unspecified powers's STEP BROTHER!!! Using my evil stuff and such, I will make your story suck!" The writer laughed backwards, "I don't care how evil you are...this story sucks so bad not even you can make it worse!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo....", the evil disemblahblah said fading away.

And thus concludes this epic, action-packed, witty, adventurous, fun, pop-tarts, suspenseful masterpiece which received many award and was very cool. And they all lived happily ever afterly ever happily.

The end.

Suddenly, everyone remembered the first paragraph, 'Once upon a time, time didn't exist at all, making everything in this story completely irrelevant.' But it was heavily discussed on psychological discussion sites like Reddit and 4Chan if it was actually true.

Regardless, no one cared by this point, so it just might as well be irrelevant.