yesthattoo - Tumblr blog

[yesthattoo]

plagues history and global epidemiology as an autistic special interest was already a heavy topic but not a day goes by I dont briefly recall drunkenly telling people at the bar in autumn 2019 “yeah the next pandemic will probably be a coronavirus and we’re due for one”

if they remember that i have to wonder if they think they met the devil at the club that night

[yesthattoo]

Instagram: if you like anything other than my latest 3 posts I'm gonna assume you're a stalker or a spammer and block you >:(

Twitter: someone private quote retweeted my post, I guess I have a hater now

Tumblr: I have 24 hours to mass spam the notifications of anyone who crosses my sight, and with god as my witness, I will do just that and they will like it

[yesthattoo]

I hate hate HATE all those 2edgy 4me theories about kids shows. Like Angelica dreaming up the rugrats, or the ed, edd, and eddy children being ghosts, or literally anything that takes a lighthearted and fun kids show and has to turn it into some tragic take of rape or murder or misinformed mental illness. So you know what? From now on I’m gonna do the exact opposite. Every cool grim-dark show is now because of a bunch of children. To get us started: Game of Thrones: A middle-school DnD campaign with the most angry, vindictive DM who has promised to kill everyone’s player characters (and their family) by the end.

[yesthattoo]

I just needed to let you know that there is a Shark Simulator game (along the lines of Goat Simulator, very ridiculous and goofy), and the titular shark, whom the player controls, is named Ed. Wonder where they got that idea from. =)

(chortles) That's hilarious! Thanks for letting me know. :)

[yesthattoo]

[Image of meme; Top text:  "Learn that something else you do is a stim" Bottom text:  " ‘Am I ever not stimming?’ “]

~Mat'thew

[yesthattoo]

[Image of meme; Top text:  "Find a place that uses interaction signal badges"  Bottom text:  " ‘Where have these been all my life!?’ “]

You can read about interaction signal badges here.

~Mat'thew

[yesthattoo]

[Image of meme; Top text:  "One word"  Bottom text:  "Puns"]

[yesthattoo]

occasionally I am struck dumb by the sublime beauty of the world in the small moments, you know?

egg

[yesthattoo]

"Why don't you get your hormones checked?": Thoughts on hypothyroidism and asexuality

This post is for the October Carnival of Aces, which is on the topic of disability.

Author’s note: This post is about a chronic condition I have that is treated with medication. I am able-bodied as long as I maintain ongoing medical treatment. I am writing about it for this carnival because people sometimes try to invalidate asexuality by saying things like, “You should get your hormone levels checked.”

I have a condition called Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism. The thyroid is a gland located in the throat that produces two related hormones (T3 and T4) which regulate how the body uses energy. Hypothyroidism is a condition that results from an underactive thyroid, that is, the thyroid does not produce sufficient T3 and/or T4 for the body’s needs. Hashimoto’s disease is an auto-immune disease in which the body’s immune system attacks and damages the thyroid, causing hypothyroidism. The auto-immune response may become quiescent after this time, but the hypothyroidism it causes remains as a chronic, lifelong condition. Like many other autoimmune diseases, Hashimoto’s disease is significantly more common in cis women than in cis men and commonly occurs during times when cis women experience significant overall hormonal changes, including puberty, pregnancy, and menopause.

Untreated hypothyroidism can have a wide range of effects, including chronic fatigue, weight gain, problems regulating body temperature (always feeling cold), and depression. Severe hypothyroidism can cause heart problems and in rare cases a type of coma called myxedema.This range of symptoms is because the thyroid mediates the body’s metabolism and use of energy on an ongoing basis. Thyroid hormones also affect the body’s response to other hormones including the sex hormones. In cis women, hypothyroidism can cause menstrual irregularity and complications during pregnancy. If Hashimoto’s disease occurs during gestation or puberty, there can be significant effects on growth and development. Hypothyroidism can be treated by a form of hormone replacement therapy, typically the use of synthetic thyroxine (T4).

I developed Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism around age 12. I had just started getting my period, then it stopped again. Over the following months, I experienced other symptoms including weight gain, lethargy, dry skin, and puffiness of the face. At first when I talked to my doctor, they didn’t think there was an underlying issue. This is unfortunately common with auto-immune diseases and I personally believe that the fact that these diseases more commonly affect cis women is part of why our male-dominated medical system tends to disregard and even invalidate them. My mom was extremely concerned about me and kept pushing the doctor to check for underlying causes until finally, after doing a number of hormone tests, they discovered that my thyroid was all but inactive. Thankfully, once I began taking synthetic thyroxine, my symptoms gradually disappeared and after several months I began getting my period again. Compared to the height I had been projected to achieve, it appears that my hypothyroidism caused me to lose out on one to two inches of growth. I was never going to be very tall, but this is part of why I’m very short (5'1").

I have been taking synthetic thyroxine for some 27 years now, and will need to take it all my life. I see my doctor at least once a year just for the purpose of checking on my status and have to blood work done to make sure that my thyroid levels are within the normal range. It’s not unusual for them to adjust my dosage slightly if I go out of range. I am incredibly fortunate that none of this is very expensive because it is absolutely necessary to the functioning of my body and to my well-being.

So what does all of this have to do with asexuality? Nothing, actually. Although decreased sex drive may be a complication of hypothyroidism in some cases, asexuality is not about low sex drive! Sex drive and sexual attraction are two separate things. Some asexuals have low arousability (1, 2) as well as lack of sexual attraction, and I appear to be one of them, but if this was caused by atypical hormone levels, it would have been fixed once I started taking synthetic thyroxine, because all the other effects of atypical hormone levels were fixed then. If someone said to me, “You should get your hormones checked,” in regard to my asexuality, I could truthfully say to them, “I get them checked every year and I know they’re normal.”

Because my hypothyroidism started when I had just begun puberty, my sexuality never came into it. However, some people may discover their hypothyroidism later during adolescence and be asked about their sex drive during the process of diagnosis. This could potentially lead to medical or psychiatric invalidation of their asexuality, misdiagnosis as hypoactive sexual desire disorder, or putting them into treatment they don’t need.

Don’t think this is a real concern? It is. Last year, I talked on Tumblr with an ace who has recently been diagnosed with Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism and who was experiencing several of the above issues in dealing with her gynecologist. It is critically important for medical professionals to be aware of asexuality, to understand how it works, and to know what it is and is not. When asexuals are afraid to talk to their doctor about other serious health issues they may have, such as hypothyroidism, because they fear medical invalidation of their asexuality, this is a real problem.

As a final comment, hypothyroidism isn’t what we typically think of as a disability, even though it can have significant effects on mental and physical functioning if untreated. And unlike with many other kinds of disability, there isn’t a stereotype about people with hypothyroidism being non-sexual. Instead, it’s an unusual situation where the condition itself could be mistakenly taken as a “cause” for asexuality. I hope that this post adds something to the larger discussion about intersections of asexuality with disability, and that by sharing my story I might be able to help anybody who is concerned about medical invalidation of their asexuality while seeking treatment for hypothyroidism.

[yesthattoo]

Keladry + gown (please and thank you)

inspired by this quote from tamora pierce: “Sir and Lady Knight are titles granted to individuals by the crown and aren’t passed on. Alanna prefers “Sir” because she was making a point. Kel prefers “Lady Knight” because she’s making a different point. Jon just throws up his hands and tells the Master of Ceremonies to ask the ladies for their preference.” 

Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan smoothed her hands over the fine silk of her skirts for perhaps the hundredth time that evening. The grays and blues of the gown matched Mindelan colors perfectly, while its carefully planned silhouette left plenty of room for movement and a space for a belt and sword at her waist. Only Lalasa could have made a gown that looked so beautiful and fit so perfectly while still creating a garment suited for a knight, rather than a court beauty. After three years in the north, commanding a fort where a tunic without mud constituted formal wear, the fine fabrics, styled hair, and light face paint, carefully applied by Shinko and Yuki with the help of their maids in her rooms that afternoon, felt foreign.

Sir Nealan of Queenscove laughed at her fidgeting from somewhere behind her. “Nervous?” he asked, putting on his most insufferably superior drawl. He knew just as well as she did that she’d squirmed every inch of the ride south from New Hope that fall, terrified both of the court pageantry she’d been able to avoid since she was a squire and of her first reception at court since she’d technically committed light treason.

Kel was preparing to turn, a biting retort on the tip of her tongue, but she could hear Yuki, moving faster than lightning to smack her husband on the shoulder with a fan. “As if you hadn’t spent the last fifteen minutes preening in the mirror like a parakeet,” she chastised him. After three long years of sharing a home with her best friends, who quarreled as an expression of love, she could see clearly in her mind’s eye Yuki smoothing the tunic over the shoulder she’d just tapped, using her other hand to push some stray lock of hair back into place.

The doors in front of her seemed to grow as she stood, trying to make herself stone, timing her breaths against the sounds of her pounding heart in an attempt to control both. She could hear the sounds on the other side, the roar of noble guests socializing, the twang of strings from the musicians in the corner nearest the door, even the clatter as some poor page dropped a tray. On the first night of Midwinter, she’d have given anything to be celebrating quietly in her rooms with their party from New Hope, her family, and her friends among Third Company, who, by some miracle of scheduling--or by some kindness of Raoul, were stationed at the palace for the winter. Her only comfort was that Raoul, who would have given more gold than she possessed to host just that party, was on the other side of the doors she faced, no doubt desperately wishing to hide behind some curtain while Buri kept a firm grip on his arm to keep him beside her.

“Truly, it will be fine,” said a soft voice over by her left ear. Kel started--in her preoccupation with the doors, she hadn’t noticed Yuki’s quiet movement to her side. “Three minutes, a bow you’ve been practicing since you were ten, and then you're free.”

“Free to exchange empty chatter in more finery than I’ve seen in half a decade,” Kel retorted, a touch of Fanche’s wry cynicism working its way into her voice.

“Free to discuss border protection strategy with Lord Raoul in a corner while you both spy on the newest female pages,” Yuki retorted.

“Plus, there’ll be crab cakes, with crabs fresh from Port Caynn,” Neal chimed in, walking over to join his wife at Kel’s side.

“I’d trade the crab for a good border patrol any day.”

“Liar.”

Yuki chuckled as Kel reached behind her to pinch Neal’s arm instead of attempting to deny the accusation.

All three started when the smaller doors at their backs opened, letting the Master of Ceremonies into the robing chambers where they’d been waiting for their formal reintroductions to court.

“Their majesties and their highnesses are ready to receive you,” he informed them, the formality in his voice standing in sharp contrast to their giggles over crabs from only a few seconds before.

“We’re ready,” Yuki replied. Her suddenly courtly tones were belied by the small glimpse of motion Kel caught by their feet, where Yuki was using the disguise of her skirts to stomp on Neal’s toe, prompting him into the correct standing position.

“Excellent. Sir Nealan of Queenscove?”

Neal nodded, confirming his title with the herald.

“Lady Yukimi noh Daiomoru of Queenscove?”

When he received a nod in response from Yuki, he turned last to Kel. “And Sir Keladry of Mindelan?”

Kel paused for a moment to debate the necessity of her response. “Actually, I prefer Lady Knight.”

“Absolutely, my lady,” he acquiesced with a slight bow. “Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan.”

Kel nodded, and the herald moved to one side, checking his tunic and hose in the full-length mirror on one side of the room once more before he opened those intimidating doors.

Neal took the opportunity to ask, his voice low, “Why the correction? Alanna’s always been Sir.”

Kel replied quickly and without thinking, her voice just as low. “Because I’m a lady knight. I’ve got the dress, don’t I?”

Neal quirked a corner of his lips at her, a hidden smile over his wife’s head. She saw understanding in his green eyes, and the relief that even in this new context her oldest friend could grasp her meaning in so few words calmed her nerves.

The Master of Ceremonies bustled back over, placing them in order, with Neal in the front as the heir to a major duchy and Yuki at his right, Kel two steps behind them for her own introduction.

With a tap from the herald on the doors, they swung wide, the guards stationed on the other side pulling them open to admit the guests from New Hope. Neal and Yuki’s introduction was a blur that left applause ringing in her ears long after the room had quieted for King Jonathan’s and Prince Roald’s welcome to the couple. Then, all too soon, it was her turn, and the herald nudged her forward, a flash of sympathy on his face.

She focused on Yuki and Neal kneeling before the dais at the end of the long aisle and on Roald's kind face in front of them. The Master of Ceremonies' voice rang out as she stepped into the light of the room: “Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan!” 

[yesthattoo]

Neal, Merric, Cleon, Roald, Owen: We don't need Kel's permission to do things we can do them on our own! Right, Kel?

Kel: *arms crossed, thinking*

Kel: *nods slowly*

Neal, Merric, Cleon, Roald, Owen: See!

[yesthattoo]

[Image of meme; Top text:  "Find a place that uses interaction signal badges"  Bottom text:  " ‘Where have these been all my life!?’ “]

You can read about interaction signal badges here.

~Mat'thew

[yesthattoo]

[Image of meme; Top text:  "Get touched by bug"  Bottom text:  "Have uncontrollable desire to wash body area"]

Submission by dolbyunloco

[yesthattoo]

[Image of meme; Top text:  "One word"  Bottom text:  "Puns"]

[yesthattoo]

Do you know if there's any links between chronic pain and hrt [testosterone] usage?

My chronic pain seems to get much better when I use testosterone reliably/regularly which fascinates me because I can't think of a reason it should be doing that. Have been wondering if I just got lucky or if it's part of a broader pattern :0

[No pressure to answer this if you don't want to! 👍]

Hmmmmmm I don't know! @grison-in-space, if you have time, do you have ideas? I know you know stuff.

[yesthattoo]

Anyways, I feel like eugenics would be more likely to result in the human equivalent of snub-nosed pugs who can't breathe anymore than it would be to result in Khan Noonien Singh.

[yesthattoo]

For anyone who thinks the Wattpad purge isn't actually happening or isn't all that bad because it's "only" deleting the "really gross stuff" (I saw a few different comments in different places, at least one on your post), I want them to compare it to what's happening with trans women here on Tumblr.

Trans women aren't being targeted with unevenly applied TOS violations, Tumblr insists, they just get flagged as mature and have their posts deleted and accounts blocked far more often than other users for mysterious and definitely honest reasons! Surely, it's because trans women are a hundred times more likely to post sexually explicit photos and violent threats than any other demographic! It's definitely not because human moderators and moderation algorithms think a post is more explicit or violent if a trans woman posts it, and it definitely has nothing to do with any targeted harassment campaigns at all!

Yeah, that's bullshit. Everyone on Tumblr knows that trans women are disporportionately hit with TOS violations because they stand out as more unsuitable for mixed company than "normal" people and because they're a favoured target of anti-queer harassment campaigns right now.

And no, your fluffy wholesome m/m romance isn't any better than a trans girl's selfie. It's just not as fashionable to target gay men and gay male sexuality right now as it was when AO3 was founded.

--