yeyomonster-blog

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Musical Memories of Dads & Fatherhood

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“My father was pretty much non-existent after the age of seven. He’d call occasionally, and say things like ‘I’m going to visit more,’ or ‘I’m going to help you with this,’ but he’d never follow through. He started a new family, and I think he convinced himself that he wasn’t needed because my mother would take good care of us. The last time I talked with him was the age of 18. I called him from my freshman dorm room at college, and I said: ‘Either be a father, or leave me alone, and stop holding me back.’ He said: ‘I can’t be that person for you.’ So I never spoke with him after that. I never reached out because I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I’d turned out OK despite his decisions. When he died, I realized that we’d both been too proud to start a relationship. I should have swallowed my pride and been the bigger man.”

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 ~ D E V I L ~ L I K E ~ M E ~  By Rainbow Kitten Surprise

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Jamie xx - Gosh

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The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.

Nassim Nicholas Taleb

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MISOGI  |  Only U

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“I got one more high left in me...” “Well hell, y'all, you all know I'm Walon and I'm an addict. And the fact is that I want to be clean today more than I want to be high. It's good to be here, hell it's good to be anywhere clean, even Baltimore. I been clean a few 24 hours now and I'm still dead certain that my disease still wants me dead. I'm in here with y'all talking shit about how strong I am and how strong I feel but my disease is out there in that parking lot doin' push ups, on steroids, waitin' for the chance to kick my ass up and down the street. Scars on my hands, on my feet, 2 bouts of endocarditis, hep c and whatnot knockin' out walls and kickin out windows in my liver. I lost a good wife, a bad girlfriend, and the respect of anyone that ever tried to loan me money or do me a favor. Pawned my pickup, my bike, my National Steel Guitar, and a stamp collection that my Granddad left me. And when it was almost over for me, and I was out there on them corners, not a pot to piss in, and anyone who ever knew me or loved me cussin' my name, you know what I told myself? I said 'Walon, you're doin' good.' I surely did. I thought I was God's own drug addict, and if God didn't mean for me to get high, he wouldn't have made bein' high so much like perfect. Now I know I've got one more high left in me, but I doubt very seriously I've got one more recovery. So if there's anybody out there who sees that bottom comin' up at em, I'm here to talk sense. I don't care who you are, what you done, or who you done it to.. if you're here, so am I." -Walon, played by Steve Earle, on The Wire [Season 1, Episode 7: One Arrest] The most underrated moment of the whole show. David Simon, creator of The Wire & Generation Kill, has been canonized for his impeccable depictions of law enforcement, the drug trade, the print news media, the school system, and the city government of Baltimore. However, his fantastic picture of the human side of the drug world, mainly through Bubble’s subplot, typically gets neglected. Of everything he covers I feel it most integral to distinguish addicts/addiction from police departments and drug syndicates because I have never seen the feel of a meeting shown so accurately. (Click here to watch the full scene)

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Millions of Flowers Erupting From A Volcano

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Dylan Stark / Shelter The first headstrong harbinger of summer music is upon us. The El Guincho tropicalia influence, the Chrome Sparks deep, billowing vocal samples, the trap ad-libs, the high-pitched Star Slinger screeches, the precise wartime percussion; it’s all welcomed with open arms and a deep breath of fresh air.

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There is no inconsistency in appealing to the requirements of a virtue to criticize a practice.

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Dan Deacon - When I Was Done Dying

Off The Air & King Deacon have done it again.  Beautifully animated depiction of Dan Deacon’s emotionally charged single off his recent Domino release, Gliss Riffer.  Never thought I’d see so much new material from some of the greatest animators of this century, let alone Chad Vangaalen and the incomparable Anthony Schepperd. Thank you Dan, Domino, Adult Swim, Brent Busby, Jason DeMarco, Jake Fried, Chad Vangaalen, Dimitri Stankowicz, Colin White, Taras Hrabowsky, Anthony Schepperd, Masanobu Hiraoka, Caleb Wood, & KOKOFreakbean for such an amazing project. Lyrics [Verse 1] When I was done dying my conscience regained So I began my struggle a nothingness strained Out a flash made of time my new form blasted out And it startled me so and I burst out a shout At which my legs ran frantic like birds from a nest And I ran until drained leaving no choice but rest So I fell asleep softly at the edge of a cave But I should have gone in deeper but I'm not so brave And like that I was torn out and thrown in the sky And I said all my prayers because surely I'll die As I crashed down and smashed into earth, into dirt How my skin did explode leaving only my shirt But from shirt grew a tree and then tree grew a fruit And I became the seed and that seed was a brute And I clawed through the ground with my roots and my leaves And I tore up the shirt and I ate up the sleeves And they laughed out at me and said "what is your plan?" But their question was foreign I could not understand When then suddenly I'm ripped up and placed into a mouth And it swallowed me down at which time I head south I said Hey ya ya, Hey ya ya, Hey ya ya, Hey hey hey (4x) Well I woke up to see them, these two mighty steeds With their mouths grinning wildly expressing my needs As they stood there above me, being flanked on each side I felt no need to fear them, no reason to hide So I reached up to touch but they faded too soon Yet their mouths still remained and stacked up towards the moon How that ladder of mouth waved so soft in the night And I looked up in awe at that beautiful sight And I dreamt about climbing into the night sky But I knew had I touched them they'd mouth back 'bye bye' So I got up and walked down the path in the dark And there deep in the distance my eye caught a spark Of a crab twice my size with incredible strength Oh it greeted me kindly and then we all drank And we drooled out together right onto the ground And the ocean grew up quickly right up all around And the earth looked at me and said "wasn't that fun?" And I replied "I'm sorry if I hurt anyone" And without even thinking cast me into space But before she did that she wiped off my own face She said, “Better luck next time don't worry so much” Without ears I couldn't hear I could just feel the touch As I feel asleep softly at the edge of a cave But I should have gone deeper but I'm not so brave I said Hey ya ya, Hey ya ya, Hey ya ya, Hey hey hey (8x)

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TAME IMPALA / ‘CAUSE I’M A MAN [Verse 1] Like the brutal autumn sun It dawns on me, what have I done? Saying sorry ain't as good as saying why But it buys me a little more time Lost in the moment for a second time Each fucking doubt I make, unleash a cry I'm just pathetic, that's the reason why In desperation, all that you can do is ask me why 

[Chorus] Cause I'm a man, woman Don't always think before I do Cause I'm a man, woman That's the only answer I've got for you Cause I'm a man, woman Not often proud of what I choose I'm a human, woman A greater force I answer to 

[Verse 2] Once again, as it takes a hold I am aware I'm not in control You see, I have a conscience and it's never fooled But it's prone to be overruled You wanna know what I always think I'm bind by You never accept defeat or let it slide But I have no voice if I don't speak my mind My weakness is the source of all my pride, I'll tell you why 

[Chorus] Cause I'm a man, woman Don't always think before I do Cause I'm a man, woman That's the only answer I've got for you Cause I'm a man, woman I'll never be as strong as you I'm a human, human A greater force I answer to “"What have I done?" Tame Impala's Kevin Parker knows he's made a mistake. He's not disclosing what's happened—just that he lost control and seems to be pretty torn up in the aftermath. He knows his apologies feel thin, he calls himself "pathetic," and he's generally lingering in the self-loathing portion of the fight. When asked why he did it, he chalks his actions up to human nature—being a "man" who doesn't always think things through. It's not a very strong way to explain why you fucked up, but it beats saying "I don't know." 

"'Cause I'm a Man" hovers in that space just after tempers flare and just before cooler heads (hypothetically) prevail. It's a narrative that Tame Impala navigate beautifully. The song doesn't stomp like Lonerism's "Apocalypse Dreams"; this time, everything's smooth. True to their reputation, it's stuffed with little details—finger snaps and gentle moans are prominent percussive elements. It's probably the closest they've come to writing an R&B ballad. 

At the chorus, Parker repeats the phrase "I'm a man, woman," which could be construed as problematic. Reading those words out of context, it looks like he's using gender as a catch-all archetype. But as he sings in his tender, featherlight falsetto, he's not boasting about his masculinity—he's attempting to acknowledge that sometimes, he messes up just like anybody else. The song's story is about as universal as they come: pretty much everybody knows what it's like to be in an emotionally stilted holding pattern after a big blow-up. It's a vulnerable song—one with regret, sure, but also affection. "I'll never be as strong as you," he sings.” -Evan Minsker, Pitchfork

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© John Holcroft

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Ta-ku ~ Make You Wanna 

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~ Studio K7 Holden DJ Kicks ~

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Action Bronson - Baby Blue (Feat. Chance The Rapper) Mr. Wonderful drops another crucial anthem following the immaculate Actin Crazy. If you didn’t know now you know, jabronis. Respect on that 88′ Coming to America reference, Bronsolino