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@yangnoir can i be the evil one

If i had an evil doppelganger i would simply invite it to come live with me. if i can get a wfh job so can it, i'll even let it borrow my resume. Cut our housing costs in half. Double our odds of getting chores done because we each know the other is Watching And Judging if we don't do the thing we said we were gonna do. Way easier to make the bed. Write twice as fast by trading off outlining and drafting. Sure i'd occasionally lose some sleep from holding my bedroom door shut at 3 a.m. while it tries to force its way in to murder me, but what roommate is perfect

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Shh, it's okay tiny little stainless steel nuts, for I shall take good care of you from here on out.

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So mad at how long this took

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Me reading haikyuu: tf u mean daichi dies

the fact that I’ve actually had this happen multiple times when I’ve entered a new fandom is hilarious like what do you MEAN

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im always suuuuper chill when i see that service unavailable page

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Valentines 💖

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Damian: The imbeciles within my class are under the delusion that Santa Claus exists. When I argued otherwise, they assailed me as though I were the fool.

Tim: aha. Yeah. Everyone knows Santa isn’t real.

Also Tim:

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Danny: I like my men how I like my coffee-

Jason: All night long and first thing in the morning?

Steph: With two shots of syrup and whipped cream on top?

Duke: Held up to a very specific high standard that literally only one person in the whole world would meet?

Danny, slowly blinking: ...I was going to say 'giving me a solid reason to stay alive', but you're all not entirely wrong, so.

Tim, two hours later: What did I fucking do to you that warranted syrup and whipped cream in my hair?!

Damian: Thank me later.

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i’m so genuinely lucky to be dumb as hammers. the simplest things bring me joy. i’ve had several fits of passionate laughing out loud today because i can’t stop thinking of the phrase “one william dollars”

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Can i also point out how freaking funny is that Telemachus went on a "diplomatic" mission, only to return cosplaying as Athena to kill the suitors?

Telemachus: "im going to kill those bastards"

Athena: "no not dressed like that"

Telemachus: "ok better?"

Athena: "yes bitch slay"

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hyperfixation please stay with me long enough to complete the project. hyperfixation do not fade. hyperfixation finish what you started for the love of god

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There’s a serial killer in your town. Unfortunately for them you are a necromancer and you have fun driving that maniac insane.

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If ur in the epic discord you've seen this dumb thing already but here it is again

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I'm glad they're on the same page

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Conflicting character development

Alternatively

"When your mom is a better grandma than she was a parent"

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saw a post recently that went smth like this. if u see it pls tag the person i wanna credit them

OKOK THE OG POST IS THIS

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Penelope like you come here after 20 years, I was waiting, and now you have the AUDACITY to imply I wouldn't love you anymore?? Okay then how about you take your bed and get the fuck out of her. Oh what's that, you can't do that? That's what my husband would say you idiot, you don't get to come back here after all this time and say you're not my husband how DARE you do that you think you're the only one who's been waiting you beautiful moron of course you're my husband of course I fucking love you I didn't wait all this time just for you to show up here and say that I don't, now stop asking stupid questions