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[yingyings]

↪       𝑴𝑶𝑵𝑶𝑳𝑶𝑮𝑼𝑬 𝑨𝑻 𝟑 𝑨.𝑴   .    (  a  series  of  sentence  starters  from  sylvia  plath’s  “ the collected poems ” .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary .)

my mendings itch .  there’s nothing to do .

what ceremony of words can patch the havoc ?

stop crying .  open your hand .

it is a terrible thing ,  to be so open .

i am too pure for you or anyone .

it’s easy to blame the dark .

how free it is ,  you have no idea how free .

it must be one or the other of us .

it was a kind of marriage ,  being so close .

nobody sees us .

i couldn’t sleep for a week .

it is comfortable ,  for a change ,  to mean so little.

tell me i’m here .

your room is lousy with flowers .

now i resemble a sort of god .

nobody can tell what i lack .

i suppose it’s pointless to think of you at all .

i can stay awake all night ,  if need be .

this is not what i meant .

i can’t get it out of my mind .

when you kick me out ,  that’s what i’ll remember .

i wasn’t fooled .  i knew you at once .

if the moon smiled ,  she would resemble you .

your clear eye is the one absolutely beautiful thing .

perfection is terrible .

i do not trust the spirit .

one day ,  it won’t come back .

they will wonder if i was important .

oh god ,  i am not like you .

there is no stopping it .

we have come so far ,  it’s over .

tonight will be ,  in every respect ,  like every other night .

that’s how you always talk before we start .

if i didn’t trust you at this ,  i wouldn’t trust myself .

at least i feel less dread of the world beyond ours .

i admit it :  i’m afraid .

don’t be so smart .

i dreamed of doing it ,  and now it’s done .

earth is my haunt .

what manner of business are you on ?

perhaps you’ve late quitted heaven ?

i shall never grow old .

sugar can cure everything .

is there no way out of the mind ?

there are no trees or birds in this world .

this is what i am made of ,  this and terror .

why is it so quiet ,  what are they hiding ?

this is what it is to be complete .

is he wearing pajamas or an evening suit ?

the police love you ,  you confess everything .

is my life so intriguing ?

where are you going that you suck breath like mileage ?

you flicker .  i cannot touch you .

if i could bleed ,  or sleep !  if my mouth could marry a hurt like that !

what did they know that i didn’t ?

you say you can’t stand her .

i’m doped and thick from my last sleeping pill .

you are ill .

you are so exhausted .

i can’t communicate .

we’re here on a visit .

where do you stash your knife ?

what sort of scenery is it ?

you know who you hate .

pure ?  what does it mean ?

i am not subtle .

right now you are dumb ,  and i love your stupidity .

i know why you won’t give it to me .  you’re terrified .

is it impossible for you to let something go and have it whole ?

must you kill what you can ?

there is one thing i want today ,  and only you can give it to me .

it won’t hurt .

do away with it altogether .

are you our sort of person ?

i have always been scared of you .

i didn’t call you .  i didn’t call you at all .

there is nothing between us .

seven hours knocked out of my right mind .

i am myself .  that is not enough .

i dream of someone else entirely .

we should meet in another life .

it was an accident .

you know what lies are for .

dying is an art ,  like everything else .

how far is it now ?

do not accept it .  it’s not genuine .

i am so stupidly happy .

eternity bores me ,  i never wanted it .

[yingyings]

i can never be normal tbh. went from ‘omg a gifset thats so nyy’ to ‘alright so she actually has a lot of complexes and here’s a detailed explanation as 2 why she’s really an open book and later has to nip that in the bud and it’s depressing for everyone’

LIKE AUH there really is a tragedy to be had, a symbolic tragedy here, bc while she is not the victim it must hurt to come to the eventual realization that you were the sole cause for many problems around you (because you refused to grow up, because you never listened, because, because, because) without knowing and internalizing that. having to live with the grief of everyone around you losing things precious to them, important to them, because of your own mistakes-

which also! isn’t necessarily her fault, there’s a lot of depth to it but it ultimately falls under sh.en j.iu’s trauma reverberating onto those around him, but still! she’s going to internalize alllllll of this. there is nothing but misery in both pi.dw AND in s.v.sss

but it’s like a very different misery in both you know. she just cant escape the trauma babey, the grief! it manifests around her and someway or another i think she’ll always have deep regrets even if she’s not entirely sure or has an inkling, they’ll be there. 

[yingyings]

NEW LIFE BEGINS 卿卿日常 (2022) TIAN XI WEI as LI WEI

[yingyings]

fairy ning yingying⭐️

[yingyings]

I have a side muse that is SQH would you be interested?

Sure! As long as u abide w/ my rules ( the main one being I only write w/ people who are over 18 ) then I'd love to!

[yingyings]

Our best shijie needs more attention.

[yingyings]

do you think you'll be open to rp with a shen jiu ?

absolutely ! i do have thoughts on their relationship, and w/ regard to her influence post marrying binghe & shen jiu’s imprisonment and her feelings on him as a whole bc it's battling those innate feelings of what she thought she knew of shen jiu ( her shizun ) and what she saw of his actions towards binghe.

she can't condone him but damn that's her dad boogie woogie woogie ! anyways yes, ofc we love shen jiu in this house !

[yingyings]

hi is this blog still active 😭😭

it is ! i just rarely ever write on it i'm sorry, not many people are interested in beloved yinger </3 (also i've been on ffxiv haha) but ! please interact with my baby if we're following each other, i'd love to plot something and get writing on here again !

[yingyings]

Huevember Day 1:  Ning Yingying

best girl

[yingyings]

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (2022) dir. Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert

[yingyings]

its so hard i wanan rb cute things but i dont have any bonds on her yet ue ue ue

[yingyings]

&. 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝, 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  you  know  that  dynamic  of  the  emotionally  closed  off  one  &  the  kind  one  they  have  a  soft  spot  for?  yeah,  that’s  the  vibe.  )

said from the lone wolf.

❛ you think you know me, but the truth is, you don’t. ❜

❛ going home isn’t an option anymore. ❜

❛ i’m fine. there’s nothing for you to worry about. ❜ 

❛ do you wish i was different? ❜ 

❛ i just, i don’t want anything bad to happen to you. ❜ 

❛ you deserve better than what you’ve got. ❜

❛ i guess we both lost something we were fond of. ❜ 

❛ i’m not leaving you out here alone. ❜ 

❛ you don’t have to keep me company, i’m fine by myself. ❜ 

❛ coming here to see you is the only place i could go. ❜

❛ i’m afraid of losing you, okay? ❜ 

❛ i know you probably hate me right now, and i get it. ❜

❛ what is with your weird fascination with me? ❜ 

❛ yeah, you keep on telling yourself that bullshit. ❜ 

❛ i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, i just have a lot on my plate. ❜ 

❛ you’re lucky you got away with only a scratch. ❜ 

❛ if i could be a different person, i promise you, i would be. ❜

❛ people like us don’t get to decide when we’re done. ❜

❛ i’ve never had anything good happen to me when i trusted others. ❜

❛ you won’t survive out there. they tear all good things apart. ❜

❛ i don’t know what’s the truth or what’s a lie anymore. ❜ 

❛ you got guts, i’ll give you that. ❜ 

❛ the more you know, the shorter your life will be. ❜ 

❛ for the first time in years, i felt something that i thought had been lost to me. ❜ 

❛ what you think you’re going through is nothing to what i have been through. ❜ 

said from the soft spot. 

❛ you’re not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜

❛ how is it that you’re never scared? ❜

❛ you think i’m weak because i’m not like you. ❜

❛ you wanted to be left alone, right? ❜ 

❛ how do you make the pain go away? ❜

❛ you shouldn’t smoke, you know. ❜

❛ destroy what is destroying you. ❜

❛ i hope you find the peace you’re searching for. ❜

❛ you know my door is always open to you. ❜

❛ i look at you and my heart breaks because all i see is loneliness. ❜

❛ you’re avoiding the subject and you know it. what are you hiding from me? ❜ 

❛ you’re not at war anymore, you can come home. ❜

❛ it feels like you’ve been avoiding me. ❜

❛ what are you so afraid of? ❜

❛ you shouldn’t be out here by yourself. ❜ 

❛ why do you care? you could have just walked away. ❜ 

❛ i know you. how else do you think i found you so easily? ❜

❛ if it was the other way around, would you have come back for me? ❜ 

❛ i just thought you’d like some company. ❜ 

❛ are you jealous? want me all to yourself, do you? ❜

❛ i knew you had a heart. ❜ 

❛ can you look at me? please? ❜

❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜

❛ if you won’t take care of yourself, then who will? ❜

❛ you have something beautiful inside of you. it’s hard for some people to tell, but it’s there. ❜

[yingyings]

𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐒 & 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒.

repost  &  tag  away !  

EYES.  blue | green | brown | hazel | gray | gray-blue | other

HAIR.  blonde | sandy | brown | black | auburn | ginger | grey | white | multi-color | other

BODY TYPE.   skinny | slender | slim | built | curvy | athletic | average | muscular | pudgy | overweight | small | tall

SKIN.  pale | light | fair | freckled | tan | olive | medium | dark | discolored | other

GENDER IDENTITY.  male | female | trans | intersex | cis | agender | demigender | genderfluid | other | doesn’t like labels

SEXUAL ORIENTATION.   heterosexual | homosexual | bisexual | pansexual | asexual | demisexual | other | unsure | doesn’t like labels

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION.   homoromantic | heteroromantic | biromantic | panromantic | aromantic | demiromantic | unsure | doesn’t like labels

POSITIVE TRAITS.  affectionate | adventurous | athletic | brave | careful | charming | confident | creative | cunning | determined | forgiving | generous | honest | humorous | loyal | intelligent | modest | patient | selfless | polite | down-to-earth | diligent | optimistic | romantic | moral | fun-loving | charismatic | calm | responsible | takes the lead

NEGATIVE TRAITS.   aggressive | bossy | cynical | envious | shy | fearful | greedy | gullible | jealous | impatient | impulsive | cocky | reckless | insecure | irresponsible | mistrustful | paranoid | possessive | sarcastic | selfish | self-conscious | swears | unstable | clumsy | rebellious | emotional | vengeful | anxious | self-sabotaging | moody | peevish | angry | pessimistic | slacker | thin skinned | overly dramatic | argumentative

SPECIES.  human | undead | shapeshifter | demon | angel | witch | ghost | incubus / succubus | werewolf | alien | mutant | android | other  (  cultivator  /  immortal  )

EDUCATION.  high school | college | university | master’s degree | PhD | other

LIVING SITUATION. lives alone | lives with parent(s) or guardian(s) | lives with significant other | lives with friend(s) | drifter | homeless | lives with children | other

PARENTS/GUARDIAN. mother |  father | adoptive | aunt | uncle | foster | grandmother | grandfather | other

SIBLINGS. sister | brothers | none | other

RELATIONSHIP STATUS.   single | crushing | dating | engaged | married | separated | it’s complicated | verse dependent

[yingyings]

modern yingying & mingyan

*不要用我的画！！

*do not repost!!

[yingyings]

see there’s such a careful balance between n.yy being Aware of what she’s doing, bc a majority of it she wasn’t? she didn’t quite understand, though as she grew up she did start to have more of an idea yknow, and her being Unaware. like i definitely think she’s more emotionally in tune with herself and others than s.qq is, but being as naive as she is, someone who hasn’t gone through the same hardships that l.bh or s.qq (either sy or sj bc theyve both gone thru their own problems, though sy less so definitely) she definitely doesn’t Super get her actions have consequences.

it’s also largely due to a faith in her shizun and likely bc asking questions wouldn’t have gotten her anything more than a fierce scolding and chores. she’s kind of the epitome of childhood hopes, the fragility of it all, but i just HMMM I ALSO THINK she’s cognizant enough to pick up that something IS her fault, even if she doesn’t Quite Get how she’s hurting l.bh (even tho it isnt really her fault to be specific bc she thinks she’s helping but in turn is warranting free punishment from the jealous disciples & s.j who just Doesnt Like Him)

AND YUEAH IDK IT’S A CAREFUL BALANCE IDK IF ANY OF THIS MAKES SENSE LMAOO (im trying to make sense of my own thoughts Myself) but i’m probably gonna make her more canon divergent here just in lieu of character depth bc we don’t get to see much of it in either version and i think it’s fair to say that she does have like... a strong intuition, suspicion of what’s going on, but u know. 

also u will all have to bear with me as i find her voice flips hair

[yingyings]

@junshang​​​  sought:  47﹕ sender  is  found  sobbing  by  receiver  .

❝   a  -  luo  !   ❞

𝚂𝙷𝙴   𝙲𝙰𝙻𝙻𝚂   ‘𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙴  𝚂𝙷𝙴  𝙰𝙿𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙰𝙲𝙷𝙴𝚂,  voice  lilting  soft  and  clear,  a  clarity  bell  in  the  wake  of  her  worry.  footsteps  pad  light  and  quick  against  dark  soil,  lush  greens,  the  shadow  of  summer  hot  on  her  heels  as  warmth  falls  low  in  the  sky;  an  eventful  day,  a  boring  day.  she  was  no  stranger  to  luo  binghe’s  disappearances,  crammed  with  far  more  chores  than  she’d  ever  have  to  experience,  it  was  a  nuisance   —   it  heralded  a  sad  truth,  an  unfairness  she’d  never  known,  and  in  spite  of  it  she’d  tried  !  tried  to  offer  her  hand,  the  friendly  bump  of  her  shoulder  into  his  with  her  ever  quiet  hopes  of  making  him  laugh  (  it  worked  sometimes  !  sometimes,  she  held  onto  them  /  he  wasn’t  smiling  as  much  anymore  ...  ),  but  with  every  secret  virtue  the  pendulum  swung  and  she  was  caught.

𝙰  𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙵𝙵  𝙻𝙸𝙿𝙿𝙴𝙳   𝚁𝙴𝙿𝚁𝙸𝙼𝙰𝙽𝙳  from  her  shizun,  a  sharp  warning,  and  in  the  wake  of  her  subdued  pleas,  a  lesser  punishment  (  surely  shizun  had  reasons  for  this,  he  was  shizun,  didn’t  he  care  ?  she  wanted  to  have  faith,  held  onto  it  childishly  ).  she  hadn’t  seen  luo  binghe  in  the  following  hours,  the  following  day,  only  brief  slithers  of  ever  familiar  curly  hair,  scuffed  uniform  a  stark  difference  from  her  own  shining  representation  of  qing  jing  peak,  and  the  dark  brown  of  wooden  logs   —   heavy,  she  remembered  the  last  time  she’d  helped,  they  hurt  her  arms  but  she  had  less  than  his.  

𝙸𝚃  𝚆𝙰𝚂  𝙰𝙽  𝙸𝙽𝙳𝙸𝙶𝙽𝙰𝙽𝚃  𝚂𝙰𝙳𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚂,  she’d  huffed  in  ming  fan’s  face  the  next  he  approached  her,  stomped  off  with  an  annoyed  ‘  humph  ‘,  he’d  been  doing  that  a  lot,  she  didn’t  want  to  see  him  !  a  cloying  guilt  coats  her  chest,  loneliness  she  rarely  felt,  and  sadness  was  far  and  few  between,  as  the  prized  shijie  of  qing  jing  peak  she  was  beloved  by  many   —   but  many  was  near  nothing  when  she’d  seen  hide  nor  hair  of  her  best  friend,  and  for  a  brief  moment  she  wondered  if  it  was  her  fault.  where  are  you  a  -  luo  ?

𝚂𝚆𝙸𝙵𝚃  𝚃𝙾  𝙰𝙿𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙰𝙲𝙷  𝙸𝙽  𝙷𝙴𝚁  𝙴𝚇𝙲𝙸𝚃𝙴𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃  she  barely  catches  the  panic  and  jerky  movements  as  she  slows  to  a  stumbling  stop.  joy  all  but  torn  from  her  at  the  sliver  of  red  rimming  his  eyes,  stiff  arms  jerkily  rubbing  at  his  eyes,  and  she  wants  to  pretend.  wants  to  act  as  if  she  hadn’t  seen  him  crying,  considers  it  for  a  moment,  but  she  can’t  help  herself;  she  never  had  been  great  at  control  (  when  was  the  last  time  she’d  seen  him  cry  ?  it  cuts  through  her  in  a  way  she’d  rarely  felt,  and  quietly  ...  she  wishes  he’d  hide  less  ).  with  a  trembling  lip  and  shy  fingers  she  leans  down,  stretches  out  an  arm  toward  him  just  shy  of  touching  him,  the  tips  of  her  fingers  barely  brushing  the  tattered  sleeve  of  his  arm.

❝   a  -  luo  ...   ❞

𝙷𝙴𝚁  𝚅𝙾𝙸𝙲𝙴  𝙸𝚂  𝙰  𝚀𝚄𝙸𝙴𝚃  𝙱𝙸𝚁𝙳  𝙲𝙰𝙻𝙻,  tender  somberness  envelops  his  name,  and  she  wants  to  cry  (  but  she  doesn’t,  for  a  -  luo  she’d  be  strong  ).  without  waiting  for  an  invitation  she’s  careful  to  lower  herself,  back  pressed  against  an  ever  familiar  woodshed  cold  and  hard,  with  feet  tucked  under  her  and  delicate  fingers  tugging  at  the  edge  of  his  clothes.  hardly  pressing  but  she  wished  he’d  look  at  her  !  she  was  more  than  used  to  how  quick  his  attention  slipped  away  now,  so  lost  in  his  thoughts,  and  a  small  guilt  filled  her  every  time  she  nagged  at  him  to  notice  her  but  ...  she  could  take  being  ignored,  she  could  try  (  a  bittersweet  lie  ),  if  he  never  looked  at  her  again  though  ...  if  she  lost  her  best  friend,  what  would  she  do  ?

❝   ...  was  it  something  this  shijie  did  ?  i  missed  you,  a  -  luo  ...  can  we  fix  this  ?  this  shijie  will  try  to  be  better  ...  this  shijie  is  sorry,  a  -  luo  ...   ❞

[yingyings]

ok claps my hands together. i have like... 2 main verses for this babey! novel canon & pidw canon bc i just think even tho she can be pretty sad in both, she’s definitely sadder in pidw and i love pain so

oh ill also probably have an about page up but. tbh. of the followers i have yall know who she is should i even bother OBHSKMANJKMSAM,KAS