ylluek - Tumblr blog

[ylluek]

was finally able to hug him 😭

[ylluek]

gonna be back to office later. I am not entirely sure if im ready. i dont know what to react of hes there or if hes no longer there.

i hate myself. 😭 why am i like this. haha

[ylluek]

May 1st, the last time I saw him. i think will also gonna be the very last.

😂🥹

[ylluek]

naa koy gimanifest karong day. piste di mana tinoud hahahaha 😂

pero naa pako until by end of the day. hoping hahahaha 😭❤️‍🔥

[ylluek]

sign na ba ni?

mao na ba ni?

sakitaa uie hahahahahaha 😂

[ylluek]

yawaaaaaaaaa kasakit ma ignore pistee

🥹😭

[ylluek]

anyways, i actually am more confident and idgaf attitude right now, thats why i am so happy.

i think i can now move forward.

i also already talked to God.

he knows everything, and i think he is the one who gave me this feeling ang strength.

i love GOD

hes always there.

[ylluek]

i actually am more glad because i am now in a place where i don’t really make him my entire world.

one time we went home not together

he goes first then

i go by myself too

that is because he have something to attend or go.

[ylluek]

Hi its been so long since i have been here lol

i miss this hahaha 😝

btw, we are still talking, still close but more like i am now the one who is controlling the ship.

[ylluek]

i talked to my friend and asked for advice about this situation with him.

finally i was a able to let my feelings out.

turns out i think im right that i will just stop this.

though it hurts i know. but this is whats in real life.

we just have to be real.

[ylluek]

I’m just gonna keep this, I will let time come to let me tell you i was once head over hells on you.

💗💗💗

thank you dong.

[ylluek]

but anyway inspite of those things that happened, though it slightly stings hahaha 😂

i am still happy seeing him, talking to him, teasing him and honestly one of the reason why i still go to work. hes one of my motivation.

thank you dong. ive never felt like this in the longest time. let me just feel it. i know this will hurt in the end, but since im thinking and im already expecting it, i think its not gonna hurt that much in the end.

you were the cure to my depression, thank you at least i can still go and move forward. i was really struggling before you came, and have never ever smiled like this before. Thank you.

I honestly am concerned as well about your mental health, coz sometimes when I look into your eyes i see myself, i see sadness, i see the same feeling that i am feeling. i honestly wanna talked to you about that, coz i think we will understand each other, but maybe im not seeing it right, maybe im just assuming, im really not sure, but i do hope your okay.

lastly, since i think im starting to accept it, you know just like the usual. i not sure if im ever gonna find love. ever. i hope youll find your woman. ill be happy.

[ylluek]

Another moment again that i was hurt but just pretended i did not hear anything.

So at work we had our breaktime together but we just stayed at our stations and talked,

and then our workmate asked us, “are you guys on break?”

we nod.

and I dont know what came up to my mind, and blurted our this joke.

“so your saying were breaking up?” somthing like that, while smiling, of course its just a joke. lol 😂😭

he laughed and then said “there was never an us” like the one in the movie.

The FUCCKKKKERRR! that hurts me. but we just laughed. 😭😂😭😂

or am i just hurting myself in this case hahaha 🤪 im such a joke. i dont know what to do anymore.

[ylluek]

we also went to eat mcdonalds again and before that i ask jokingly ‘are you sure this not a date’

he answered ‘dont be too assuming’

💔

i pretended i did not hear that, 😭 and turned my attention to a friend coming our way.

it hurts hahahaha 😂

but we still did eat mcdonalds. but that not it, so i was already down and the.he comes again teasing me when we ordered our food, after i finised ordering my food, he asked “are you done? should i get going?”

fucker, i was left speechless, i thought hes gonna leave me after he broke my heart, but he just laughed and proceed to order his food.

he is such a walking red flag huhuhuhuhu

i could still gotta say, I was so very happy that day.

😍💗

[ylluek]

btw i attempted to ask who is his type of girlfriend, i failed hahahahaha lol

[ylluek]

i feel like he is just like a very sweet and a very friendly person who you can be comfortable easily, nothing more. maybe because thats how he attract people to be drawn to him so he can pick who he feel the spark with? and then he’ll go and pursue that person.

omg why did i not think about this.

🥺

[ylluek]

last week was full of roller coaster, i am feeling kike im in heaven.

I was always with him.

We go home together.

We had lunch together.

We talked, laughed, we quarrel, i had a lot of fun.

one time, we had a mis understanding. i know he felt it too. coz i ask him to do something for me but he won’t, so i pushed him away, i did not talked to him like, i litterally ask him when he came my way, ‘what are you doing here? you should go back.’ harsh right? and then he head back and wont talk to me anymore, I know we both are feeling the tension, whenever he passed through me i feel like saying sorry to him but i cant, my pride is saying no, my mind is saying, you have to wait first, he should be the one who should approach you first, i almost run to him because i can’t take it that we have this tension and we are not talking, and our shift is ending, we should settle this. but you know what? i was shocked when he first approached me, and talked to me, but I can see it in his eyes that he did felt the tension and wanted to end our misunderstanding and felt uncomfortable about what is happening. so after he talked to me though not directly talking about what us happening between us, i just felt like that was the sign for me to stop being stubborn. so i approached him and talked to him, like nothing happened, i saw his eyes gloom, i talked to him about our work but stared at him and let my eyes communicate that i wanted to end our mis understanding. coz i dont like it and it felt like hell to me. i think it lasted for 3 hours but it was hell. i actually almost wanna cry. then after that were all good, back to being us. i was afraid were gonna go home mad at each other. i will not be able to sleep the fuck. so that was sweet.