ymaansun

[ymaansun]

Still finding my feet by Marilyn Peddle (CC)

[ymaansun]

i am working towards the life i have always wanted to live

[ymaansun]

Focusing on what’s rooted in reality has reduced so much of my overthinking time. If a friend is already out of my life, there’s no point dissecting our interactions from back when we were friends. If I already broke up w someone, there’s no point thinking about the could-have-beens because they will never happen. If I’m into someone but it wouldn’t work for whatever reason, then it just doesn’t. Something just is or just isn’t. There’s a lesson to take from everything but I also don’t want to use that as a catch-all excuse of getting into the weeds for something when the weeds have already been cut off and it doesn’t even matter anymore

[ymaansun]

[ymaansun]

surely life cant only be the same unresolved thoughts forever

[ymaansun]

You can’t let this stupid ass evil world rob you of your vibe don’t let them do that to u

[ymaansun]

here to love and be loved, not to prove myself

[ymaansun]

tuesday by Alex Dimitrov

[ymaansun]

The amount of time and trial and error that happens between when you realize you need to change and when you actually start digging your heels in and making those changes is often literal years which is so crazy cause we can know something for so long and refuse to let it sink in when we know it will deeply disrupt our lifestyles and comforts/crutches so it just prevails for so much longer than we could ever imagine even when we realized so long ago what was wrong we just back pedal when we are scared until something just cracks and we feel ready

[ymaansun]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[ymaansun]

on my hands and knees begging you to eat food that nourishes u, stay hydrated, dance to feel good music first thing in the morning, give urself grace for mistakes but simultaneously hold urself accountable, give others grace but simultaneously expect them to do better, care about other people even if it doesn’t directly affect you, get a good lash serum, get a lip balm that doesn’t feel too grainy and has the perfect glossy finish, consume poetry in appreciable quantities even on days where life is packed, experience negative emotion without sanitizing it with therapy speak bc ur a human and u were put on this earth to feel feel feel, moisturize every inch of ur body, truly introspect and ask urself if u urself match the standards u have for other people, put perfume on ur pulse points and feel it emanate ur heartbeat, do something challenging to stimulate ur soul, take up a skill based hobby, make lists and stick w them, take an intentional day off ur phone to detox, stop comparing bc no one is u (only u are u), put urself in clothes that make u feel confident in that wonderful miraculous body of urs, tilt ur head towards the sun whenever u step out of the house, clean ur bedroom w the windows open and the breeze fluttering past the curtains, make meaningful connections both with urself and with other people (including ur seniors bc they have so much wisdom to impart)

[ymaansun]

bluetooth headphones dont fuck the headphone jack even a little bit and thats why the sound qualitys bad they dont fuck the music

[ymaansun]

the light that shines when things end – iain thomas

[ymaansun]

sorry my family didn’t teach me that i have a place among others so now i’m weird . sorry

[ymaansun]

Leila Chatti, "Postcard from Gone"

[ymaansun]

[ymaansun]

having short-term memory is like. this book profoundly affected me. that show bared my soul. i don’t remember a single thing about it. but it did