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yochess · 6 years ago

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2) The Power of Habit

My Introduction: The next book I’ve decided to read was The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. According to Duhigg, the reasons why I have bad habits such as 1) procrastinating, 2) being compulsive, 3) not brushing my teeth as often, 4) consuming weed daily, 5) munching on an unholy amount of chocolate (10+ servings somedays), 6) acting out and resenting my parents for my shortcomings, ... 1000) barely exercising is because I have been programmed by my environment to develop those habits. He is claiming these behaviors (bad habits) can be changed. On one hand, I think a lot of my bad habits are formed due to me potentially having ADD. I basically believe it is easier for me than others to develop bad habits. I think I am by nature an instant gratification monkey. I love to procrastinate and I am also very compulsive. Hell, I fucken turned a compulsive addiction that is all about instant gratification into a fucken career. OTOH Duhigg is claiming bad habits are within my control to change. He did not put genetics into the equation. If I can somehow strategize to minimize bad habits and replace bad habits with good habits, then I will not snowball myself into disaster. Even if I do have ADD, with the right knowledge and resources, I can compensate for what my genetics lack by just putting in the extra effort. I mean everything and everyone is just on a spectrum somewhere right? I just happen to be closer to the tail end (the bad side) when it comes to forming habits. For all I know I don’t even have ADD and I’m just looking for excuses on all my shortcomings. Whatever the case, I believe I have the knowledge and resources to improve this area of my life. I have to fucken work on this. Hell... EVERYONE has areas in their life where they are on the bad side of the curve. It would be insanely stupid on every level for me to say I don’t have to work hard on something just because I was born with some kind of deficit. That is self-entitlement. The world owes me shit. If I can fix it then I SHOULD fix it. It is STUPID and IRRATIONAL for me to lay around doing shit and go around blaming genetics. On November 22, I signed up for a 3-day trial at 24 Hour Fitness. On November 25, I applied for a membership. I’ve walked/ran 2-3+ miles at least 5 times already since the free trial. I haven’t done ANY weed in over 3 weeks after daily consumption since it became legalized in California. I barely ate junk food since. I have been brushing my teeth most mornings and nights. I have been making a conscious effort to connect towards my folks. I mean I’m not even sure what empathy is anymore and if it is just some fuzzy wuzzy buzz word. I’ll eventually read about it. There are still a bunch of unfinished tasks on my TODO list, but I have been making a conscious effort to complete them. Lately I feel hopeful. I am motivated. I am trying. I am no longer blaming my genetics. I am no longer blaming others. I am not going to lie to myself and believe I’m the victim. I am no longer making excuses. I’ll continue to look for ways to find solutions instead of blaming a condition. I’ll stop dwelling in the past. I can only be sorry for what has yet to happen yet. I am human. I know I am hard on myself, but I got to be. Otherwise I will not grow. I also need to forgive myself when I fail. Hehe! =) ——————–————— Summary - Part 1: The Habits of Individuals Chapter 1: The Habit Loop In 1993 Eugene Pauly suffered permanent brain damage. He had significantly impaired memory, but surprised scientists with his ability to learn and perform new behaviors. The scientists learned that his basal ganglia (located in the center of the brain) was left unimpaired. This led to experiments on rats, which confirmed that this part of the brain is responsible for storing habits. Duhigg explains that the formation of a habit, known as the Habit Loop consists of three parts: 1) the cue - anticipation (eg. ringing noise from slot machines, smell of cigarettes, sight and noise of people having fun at a party) 2) the routine - an automatic process that can be physical, mental, or emotional (eg. pulling the slot machine, smoking a cigarette, drinking alcohol) 3) the reward - craving (eg. winning some money, the high off nicotine, having fun at a party) Over time, this loop becomes more and more automatic. Duhigg goes on saying habits are very hard to break, because it is an automatic process. He also says this is why it is hard to create exercise habits or change what we eat, because once we develop a routine such as sitting on the couch (instead of running) or snacking whenever we pass a doughnut box, those patterns will always remain in our head. Below is a quote I find inspirational and full of hope: ”We’ve done experiments where we trained rats to run down a maze until it was a habit, and then we extinguished the habit by changing the placement of the reward. Then one day we’ll put the reward in the old place, and put in the rat, and, by golly, the old habit will reemerge right away. Habits never really disappear. They’re encoded into the structure of our brain, and that’s a huge advantage for us, because it would be awful if we had to relearn how to drive after every vacation. The problem is that your brain can’t tell the difference between bad and good habits, and if you have a bad one, it’s always lurking there, waiting for the right cues and rewards.” - Ann Graybiel, a scientist at MIT who’s done many basal ganglia experiments (pg. 20). Chapter 2: The Craving Brain The reward is the craving we seek before performing the routine. It is what initially drives us to perform the routine. Once this Habit Loop is done enough times, the habit is formed, and we will just perform it automatically from just seeing the cue. Scientists have studied this behavior by examining it on monkeys. They would give Julio the monkey blackberry juice (the reward) every time he touches the lever (the routine). This behavior eventually became habitual to the point where Julio’s brain would anticipate the reward by just seeing the monitor (the cue). Scientists then stopped rewarding Julio blackberry juice and not surprisingly, Julio would still touch the lever every time he sees the screen over and over again (pg. 44-49). Duhigg uses numerous examples on how numerous companies capitalized on this aspect of human behavior during the 20th century (eg. smoking, advertising). P&G marketed Fabreze by telling its audience the product adds a nice smell (the reward) after cleaning (the habit). Shockingly this method saved Fabreze, which can be read about here. Chapter 3: The Golden Rule of Habit Change The Golden Rule of habit change is to change the routine, while keeping the same cue and the same reward. This is obviously easier said than done. Perhaps smokers can replace the high from nicotine with coffee. Perhaps they can just exercise instead. When alcoholics initially drank, the cue is probably seeing others socializing, and the reward is to socialize with them. The routine is of course to drink until blackout drink. Perhaps a better way to perform this habit is to go socialize somewhere that does not involve drinking. One example would be to to join a tennis club. The cue and reward is still the same. It will just take some time for the new and better routine to replace the old one. ——————–————— Summary - Part 2: The Habits of Successful Organizations Chapter 4: Keystone Habits The key takeaway is organizations get their members to have one key habit. This habit in turn spirals and snowballs into other good habits, which in turn increases productivity. He uses numerous examples such as Alcoa with safety. Once safety became a priority, productivity soared. Some keystone habits on an individual level would be exercising and writing. For me, reading makes me feel incredibly good about myself. I am not giving a fuck what others are saying. More examples of keystone habits can be found here and here. ”Once a small win has been accomplished, forces are set in motion that favor another small win. Small wins fuel transformative changes by leveraging tiny advantages into patterns that convince people that bigger achievements are within reach.” - Duhigg (pg. 112). Chapter 5: Starbucks and the Habit of Success Starbucks believes that willpower is a learnable skill. Employees are trained the LATTE system. Chapter 6: The Power of a Crisis There are tons of bad habits and rivalry going on within organizations, which results in less productivity. Numerous examples are given in which a crisis is a catalyst for drastic and positive changes. Chapter 7: How Target Knows What You Want Before You do In the past, big companies used small bag of tricks (tactics) to take advantage of its customers. The issue with these tactics is there was no one size fit all. Target used big data to predict who’s pregnant. Once they succeeded in this, they sent out coupons of baby items to the future mothers. This gives them a huge advantage within its competition, because they understand that once a big change happens in one’s life (such as becoming pregnant), then new habits (shopping at target) would emerge. More can be read about Target here. ——————–————— Summary - Part 3: The Habits of Societies Chapter 8: Saddleback Church and the Montgomery Bus Boycott I skimmed through this chapter, because I found it boring. The Montgomery Bus Boycott succeeded, because it tied people together. Even if one did not want to get involved, they would feel the pressure from their community due to mutual ties. More can be read about here. Rick Warren who created the Saddleback Church believes it is important for its followers to have good habits in faith. More of this stuff can be read about here. Chapter 9: The Neurology of Free Will This chapter is more philosophical and focuses on the philosophy behind the autonomy of bad habits. One guy killed his wife due to night terror. He was unconscious when he performed this act. One woman lost millions and owed the casino money because she could not stop gambling. The guy who murdered his wife was not criminally charged, while the woman who owed the casino money was criminally charged. Both actions were pretty much autonomous. The difference is the guy had no idea what the outcome would be (murder), while the woman was clearly aware (owing money). I think this basically implies society holds us responsible for our bad habits if we are aware of its negative outcome. On the final pages, the author gives a passage written by David Foster Wallace: “There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says ‘Morning, boys. How’s the water?’ And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes ‘What the hell is water?’” Duhigg goes on saying that the water is habits, the unthinking choices and invisible decisions that surround us everyday. I think what this means is to be aware of our habits, the things we are automated to do. ——————–————— Final Thoughts Personally I don’t believe in free will and I think our actions are deterministic. So far I see nothing wrong with this statement. The thing is this thinking that I’m destined to a certain doom has led me to not even attempt to do things. I just say stupid shit like “What’s the point if the probability is low.” I make excuses like “I can’t help it, because that’s just the way I am.” “I’m depressed, I can’t help it.” “I have ADD, I can’t control my impulses.” “I am addicted to marijuana, I can’t help it.” “I love sugar too much, I can’t quit.” “I’m bad at this, I should not try it.” The thing is that does not give me a pass to not even fucken try. Trying to change my course of action does not equate to believing in free will. I should not let what I think is my doom control my life. I’ve learned something very valuable here. I have to believe in what I’m doing no matter what.

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yochess · 6 years ago

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1) Driven to Distraction

My Introduction: The first book I’ve picked up reading is Driven to Distraction by Edward Hallowell, M.D. and John Ratey, M.D. I was feeling unmotivated and depressed before picking up the book. For the few weeks prior, I was spending most of my time just getting high off weed and watching random shit I find off the internet (The Incredible Paco and 3rd Rock From the Sun to name a few). I didn’t watch Mario Maker and reruns of old sitcoms because I enjoyed it. I watched them just so I can waste my time, feel sorry for myself, and wait for the day to end. Initially I was just very hard on myself for failing to get the day trading job I spent a month prepping and interviewing for. Then slowly but surely depression kicked in. I find myself repeating this routine of self-sabotage on and off for the past decade. Every time I enter this phase, I become numb and I just enter the idgaf mode. Inevitably guilt kicks in which makes me feel even worse. I’ll feel incredible guilt on the trouble I impose on my parents due to my incredible selfishness. Of course I blame depression over and over again and to this day, I still don’t know whether it is selfishness or depression. Once I hit season 4 episode 22 of 3rd Rock From the Sun, I had a huge knock on my head and told myself to fucken snap out of it. I decided to finally pick up Driven to Distraction by Edward Hallowell, M.D. and John Ratey, M.D. For years, I’ve been told I may have ADD and asperger (asperger can be crossed off). I can say with absolute sincere confidence that this book offered me a ton of hope and relief. It was very therapeutic to read. The author offers a viewpoint that a good portion of the population are predisposed to ADD. A ton of the descriptions, behaviors, examples, etc offered by Hallowell perfectly described me. I started to believe more and more that I am not at fault for the way I am. I can blame ADD for my shortcoming and depression! Anyways I don’t have the book on me, so I’ll summarize it another day.

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yochess · 6 years ago

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New Hobby: Reading Non-Fiction

So around November of 2019, I’ve picked up reading psychology and self-help books. Guess what? I absolutely LOVE IT. It offers motivation, hope, boost of self-esteem, knowledge, and a realistic+rational view that is not distorted by my own extremely negative biases on myself and the world. Since graduating from college in 2011, I think I’ve read less than a handful of non-poker books. My goal for now is to read more. My current aim is one book per week. This fits perfectly into my schedule, because I can just read while I wait between hands while playing poker (my line of work). So far the books I’ve finished reading are 1) Driven to Distraction by Edward Hallowell, M.D. and John Ratey, M.D. 2) The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg The book I’m currently reading is Mindset by Carol Dweck, Ph.D. I actually might ditch this book, not because I don’t believe in the growth mindset concept, but because I dislike her examples. I have not fact checked her work, but I basically think she is giving faulty examples without concrete evidence / proof. Either way I think she means well and is more focused on offering inspiration rather than hard facts. One thing I’ve come to realize about myself is for the past decade, I’ve been stupidly arrogant and prideful on how I’m naturally smart. I’ve never felt the need to educate myself by spending my time seeking the wisdom, findings, opinions, and advice of those who’s been researching a certain topic for decades onwards towards their whole life. The thing is, I’m only intelligent when it comes to certain topics. I only like to focus on what I excel at. There are tons of topics I am completely ignorant on. This way of life is a very artificial. It doesn’t promote personal growth. The person emotionally suffering once a setback occurs is myself, because I become my own bully. The person receiving a smaller reward in the payoff matrix as a result for choosing not to improve is myself. If I choose to indulge in self-pity after setbacks and never work on areas I need improvement on, then I basically am no different from those who like to mope and blame others for their shortcomings. For now, I am motivated to continue what I’m doing. I’ll just continue to educate myself before I form any hard conclusions. I am only just beginning...

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yochess · 9 years ago

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Blah

I did not get the job. Instead of applying to jobs and staying motivated, I started feeling hopeless and weak the past few days. It’s pretty upsetting to me that the feeling of hopelessness and self pity is the state I decided to get myself into. The reality of the whole fact is I think I kinda enjoy the feeling of being sad. I don’t know why I’m not strong enough to stand back up on my feet. I’m just idling and not wanting to do shit because it is just way easier for my head to release dopamine with me feeling sad. I guess I’m just too spoiled since I probably usually just have shit done for me. as;ldfjqwlkerjqwl;sdfjasldkfkjasl;dkfjewqlrjasldf;kasfjdsalkfdl;kfasjdflk;ejflkasdfasdfcxdxfasfdasdfawesfasefasgagasdf

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yochess · 9 years ago

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September

Some stuff has happened since my last post.

I got into hcak,raec,tor’s 40th cohort in around February and graduated May 30th. I applied to jobs (got like 3 phone calls and a video intro) and decided to goto Vegas on June 20th. I abandoned my job hunt and ignored all incoming phone calls and emails. I stayed there until mid July and came back with some money.

Then I watched 10 seasons worth of the simpsons and a bunch of garfield (pretty much took up my entire time) and did 0 coding and 0 job applying for 2 weeks.

Then I woke up from my natural self and decided to do coding again. I spent 2 weeks brushing up on angular and I have my first job interview onsite (ever) this Thursday.

Yay!

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yochess · 10 years ago

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Been a while

It’s been a while since I actually blogged a post. I’ll start off with a programming thought before going onto how I feel like a failure, lol. I’ve actually gotten back into programming. I applied to Ap,pAca,demy 2 years ago, but was ultimately rejected after being sucked in for a month. I actually dedicated a solid 1.5 months into learning how to code. I failed the final interview when asked to loop. I took the rejection really badly since I should have been able to answer that problem. I ended up returning to poker for the rest of the duration until this August where I enlisted in city college. Some of classes are honestly really shitty since they go at a very slow pace, but I guess I knew to expect that. I plan on applying to hac,kreac,tor (or ap,paca,demy again) which I’m confident I’ll be able to get in. I know I’ll take rejection really badly again if I don’t get in. However I have a backup plan of getting some certifcates (java, web app) by summer or fall 2016 (hopefully summer so I won’t miss the wsop!). The question from ap,pac,adem,y was basically this: You look at the performance of stocks a week later. The stock market updates daily (not by the second in real-time like NASDAQ). You have a time machine and have the ability to go back in time. Make a program which would pick the most profitable day to buy and sell. Suppose the prices for one stock goes like this: Mon: $23 Tues: $21 Wed: $20 Thurs: $25 Fri: $40 Sat: $18 Sun: $39 Days of the stock is represented as an array: [23,21,20,25,40,18,39] From glancing at this, it’s obvious the day to buy is Wed and the day to sell is Fri. However let’s suppose you have hundreds of stocks and you want to automate this process. I don’t remember how I answered this, but I was having some issues breaking the question down. I think my final answer ended up being: Make a function accept an array as an argument. declare and set a variable called profit to 0 declare the best days as buy_day and sell_day iterate through each index as the buy_index iterate through the rest of the index after as the sell_index if array[sell_index] minus array[buy_index] is greater than profit update profit to that value also record the indexes, one as buy_day, one as sell_day end end end # there should be 3 variables to return: # profit represented by a number # buy_date represented by an index # sell_date represented by an index return [buy_date, sell_date, profit] end Implementation in ruby: def max_profit(ary=[23,21,20,25,40,18,39]) profit, buy_day, sell_day = 0 first_index, last_index = 0, ary.length-1 first_index.upto(last_index) do |buy_index| buy_index.upto(last_index) do |sell_index| if ary[sell_index] - ary[buy_index] > profit profit = ary[sell_index] - ary[buy_index] buy_day = buy_index sell_day = sell_index end end end [buy_day, sell_day, profit] end puts max_profit # => [5, 6, 21] That was my logic, but I was using each on the entire array instead of the index of the arrays. That makes it hard to iterate through the remaining subset of the array. eg) my attempt back then: ary.each_with_index do |value, i| # inconsistency here, so each_with_index isn’t a good strategy end After further research, this algorithm can be improved. The implementation above performs at O(n^2). There is actually a way to implement this at linear time. I would have never came up with this algorithm on my own. It does seem very simple after seeing it... Basically you do not have to iterate through the buy day. Instead, you just keep track of: 1) the index with the lowest price, and 2) the maximum profit Make a function which takes an array declare and set min_buy_index to 0 declare and set best_sell_index to 1 declare and set profit to array[1] - array[0] iterate through the rest of the days as sell_index # 1. update profit if you can do better than the previous profit # don’t forget to update the index of the sell date if array[sell_index] minus array[min_buy_index] is greater than profit set profit to that that value update best_sell_index to sell_index end # 2. if the price of the current day is lower than the previous buy price # update the minimum buy index. if array[sell_index] is less than or equal to array[min_buy_index] update min_buy_index to sell_index end end return [min_buy_index, best_sell_index, profit] end Implementation in javascript: var maxProfit = function(ary) { ary = ary || [23,21,20,25,40,18,39]; var minBuyIndex = 0; var bestSellIndex = 1; var profit = ary[1] - ary[0]; var newProfit; ary.forEach(function(sellPrice, sellIndex) { newProfit = sellPrice - ary[minBuyIndex]; if(newProfit > profit) { profit = newProfit; bestSellIndex = sellIndex; } if(sellPrice <= ary[minBuyIndex]) { minBuyIndex = sellIndex; } }); return [minBuyIndex, bestSellIndex, profit]; }; console.log(maxProfit()); // => [5, 6, 21] I’m not 100% certain if I got the logic above right, but I think so. I should probably test these with some arrays, but I don’t want to spend any more time writing this. I am just happy that I was able to implement the two codes above with only 3 very minor syntax errors: * 2 misspelling of a variable in js * ary.length -1 should be ary.length-1 or (ary.length) -1

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yochess · 10 years ago

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80 Bay, Hands 11-20

Seat 1: Ray (black dude) Seat 2: Hero Seat 3: Frank (prop) Seat 4: Asian dude in glasses Seat 5: Doc Seat 6: Doug (dpr) Seat 7: Taylor Seat 8: Sh,awn Ke,ller Seat 9: Q

Hand #11

Preflop: I open 99 in FJ, LJ (Frank) 3bets, I call.

Flop: 87j, two diamonds (7.5 sb) I check, LJ bets, I call.

Turn: 7, two diamonds (4.75 bb) I check, LJ bets, I call.

River: Q, two diamonds (6.75 bb) I check, LJ bets, I call. Frank shows AQo and wins.

Preflop Analysis: Standard

Flop analysis: In the moment, I figured my hand was too weak to k/r. Assigning villain the heuristics of cbetting 100%, I opt to check-call. This hand is the perfect candidate to bucket into my k/c range to protect my weaker hands.

OK, my range is going to highly vary between 17.9% (66+,A4s+,K9s+,QTs+,J9s+,T8s+,98s,87s,ATo+,KTo+,QJo) to 11.5% (77+,A9s+,KTs+,QTs+,JTs,ATo+,KQo). I'd say on average it is 13.9% (77+,A8s+,KTs+,QTs+,J9s+,T8s+,98s,ATo+,KJo+).

Frank's range is pretty standard. I think he views me as taggy, so he might be on the tighter side. Let's assign his 3b at 8.7% (77+,A9s+,KJs+,QJs,AJo+).

Hands that I'm ahead of are AK (16 combos), AQ (16 combos), ATs (4 combos), A9s (2 combos), QKs (4 combos). I'm ahead of 42 combos.

I'm behind AJ (12 combos), KJs (3 combos), QJs (3 combos), 77-88 (6 combos), TT+ (27 combos). In total I'm way behind 51 combos.

I chop with 1 combo of 99.

Just from looking at this, check-raising is suicidal since I'm drawing to 6 outs against most of the 51 combos I'm behind. I'm also going to get outdrawn by a flush or am up against 6 outs as well on the flop.

Now onto stove!! I'm assigning myself 13.9% (77+,A8s+,KTs+,QTs+,J9s+,T8s+,98s,ATo+,KJo+). Range vs. range wise, my equity on this flop is 46.443%. That is standard since his 3b is suppose to be stronger than mine. Hand vs. range wise, I'm still doing poorly at 45.711%.

On this flop texture, I'm anticipating a cbet 100%, so checking my whole range seems like a good strategy to employ. I'm receiving 8.5:1 on the 87jdd flop.

I don't think I'm folding anything on this flop texture since I have a gutshot. My peel range is thus going to be very weak and unbalanced. I should therefore delay a lot of value hands to the turn to k/r. Of course most villains aren't capable of knowing this at game speed since this is like a situation within a situation so I should still exploitatively k/r with impunity to avoid having the turn checked through. I should still somewhat balance and Jx seems like the perfect candidate to delay. Jx is better than QQ since it has 5 outs for a 2 pair or better redraw whereas QQ only has 2 outs for the redraw when facing a raise on the turn.

Turn analysis: The board pairs. Since I'm peeling the flop with pretty much my whole range, I think villain should cbet close to 100%. OTOH if I'm known to fold gutshots (I doubt anyone would) then Frank should cbet turn at a lower frequency since his range equity goes significantly down. Anyways, 99 has enough equity and isn't folding.

On the turn, the strongest parts of my range would be Jx, and ace high flush draws. I'm check-raising Jx and a7s, while stationing Ax flush draws. Against people who don't double barrel much, I think check-calling Jx is better. So against Frank, I'd still snap check raise Jx. The next tier would be TT and 99 which are peeling. All my gutshots are folding. All other pairs are peeling. I think the hardest part of my range to play with would be AQ. AK has 33% equity against a 100% barrel so that should probably peel. AQ however only has 21% equity Frank is also not going to fire 100%, so the equity of AQ is even lower. I think with a hand like AQ, I should peel turn and fold river. However I think someone who fires AT or A9 on the turn will probably fire it again on the river. A hand like AQ therefore shouldn't peel the turn and fold river. If I do peel the turn I should probably peel pretty much all rivers. With that said, I think AQ is a dump on the turn. AK OTOH is too strong and should bluffcatch both streets.

River analysis: What a nasty river. Ace would be the nastiest in which case I should fold. On Q, I still have decent equity. If I were to play some GTO strat I'd fold 1/7.75 of my calling range. AK makes up 16 combos out of not so many, so away those go. 99 is probably too strong. Combo-wise, 99 chops with 99, beats ATs/A9s, and beats AK, which is enough for me to call.

Conclusion: I just rushed through as I typed this. Perhaps my range is too wide or too narrow by the river where my alpha ratio is already way off. Either way, I learned something from this. I should not peel turn and fold river on this type of board texture since villain's range is polarized in this narrow range situation. Against a more merged range in a wide range situation, peeling turn and folding river with some hands is a good strategy. Eh, actually this spot is not super polarized, BUT I think since the ranges are so narrow, it's probably very hard to intuit the perfect peel turn/fold river ratio. I should therefore not attempt to pull this strategy off at the cost of making a humanly mistake.

Another thing I learned is I should probably delay monsters against better players on these type of flop textures. I have too many gutshot draws in my hand when I peel the flop. Against weaker opponents check-raising with impunity seems like the best choice. They aren't good enough to double barrel a high %.

Hand #12

Preflop: CO (Shawn) Opens, I defend TJcc in the BB.

Flop: 8c9cKd (4.5 sb) I check, CO bets, I raise.

Turn: 4r (4.25 bb) I bet, CO raises, I call.

River: 6r (8.25 bb) I check, CO bets, I fold.

Preflop Analysis: I think a 55%-60% defense range is plausible here. I don't have a 3b range at this point in time.

Flop Analysis: This seems like a perfect candidate to k/r. Villain is definitely going to cbet (and maybe over cbet) a high portion. If I defend 55% and CO opens 35% then CO's range equity is close to 54% and thus should cbet a very high % of the time. My guess is CO should optimally cbet 65-70% of the time. This heuristics is based off the shortcut I'm told to follow. At 50% range equity to xb 50%, at 55% range equity to xb 70%, and at 60% range equity to cbet 100%. Most villains at bay cbet a higher % than that however, so I should k/r at a high frequency.

Intuitively, it feels like the middle two cards: 8 and 9 is able to connect with my range. However due to villain's tighter preflop range, our range equity is naturally going to be a slight dog.

A defense range of 55% is around 700 hands. Of the 700 hands, I'm check-folding hands that completely bricked (no backdoor, no gutshots, queen highs or worse). I'm check-raising most Kx, AA, sets, queen high or worse flush draws, and some middle pairs (9T, 8T for example), and some backdoor straight-flush draws that's just total banana (TJdd for example). The rest is going into my k/c range. I'm not sure how many combos those make up, but I think it's somewhat balanced. I doubt it's perfectly balanced, but I think my intuition in these spots are slightly better than most people.

Turn analysis: I don't have a k/r and donk check range on a brick turn card. I'm just going to go ahead and fire. Now I get raised on 89k4. This feels rarely like a bluff. I have the TJ suited, so villain has less flush draws. I think with two pair hands (89, K9, k8), I'm going to just peel and delay the k/r on the river. With sets, I'm just going to super fast play them. I have 9 combos of sets and I think I should b/3b those. To balance my sets, intuitively it feels like I should have a little over 1 combos of bluffs. I think TJcc is too strong to turn into a bluff since ten or jack on the river can turn my hand into a weak bluff catcher. Probably the best candidate to b/3b bluff is 67cc and 75cc.

River analysis: The river comes the 6. I'm k/r'ing a bunch of two pairs and straights that got there. I actually have quite a number of 2 pair hands that I can k/r the river. I probably k/r around 40 combos for value. I'm receiving 9.25:1 on the river, so my k/r offers villain 11.25:1. I should have around 3-4 bluffs in my river k/r. I think the best candidates are either blockers or the bottom of my calling range. I think since villain is never free-turn showdowning, the best candidates to bluff raise are blockers since the bottom of my calling range is unlikely going to face a bet on the river. The 3 candidates I should k/r are probably q7cc, j7cc, a7cc, followed by TJcc, and QJcc. Anyways, folding this hand and bluffing this hand is prolly neutral EV following this strategy.

Conclusion: Maybe I should consider k/r bluffing this hand as an option next time. What's sick about this hand is I think most humans will not make big laydowns in monster pots. Therefore I don't have to balance my 2 pair and straight hands with bluffs. I will however throw this bluff in against people who are known to make huge laydowns.

Hand #13: I was pissed and tossed whatever to whatever action in the SB.

*****Time 2 taken*****

Hand #14

Preflop: BTN (Q) opens, SB (Ray) cold calls, I toss 28s in the BB.

Preflop analysis: I actually deviated from my usual strategy in which I flat any two suited. Next time I'll call since a pair of 8s is still pretty good against a late position open.

Conclusion: I prolly was still a little tilted from the TJs and I decided to play a little snug since I was shot taking. Next time I'll call.

Hand #15: I tossed 82o to a HJ open and a BTN 3b. Hand #16: I open AJo in the FJ, BB (Shawn) folds.

Hand #17

Preflop: FJ (Doug) opens, BTN (Q) 3b, I flat KK in the BB, FJ (Doug) caps, we both all.

Flop: 257r (12.5 sb) I check, Doug bets, Q calls, I k/r, Doug calls, Q calls.

Turn: J (9.25 bb) I bet, Doug calls, Q calls.

River: 5 (12.25 bb) I bet, Doug calls. I win.

Preflop Analysis: Not sure what my range here is. As I'm typing this, I think I should still cold call my whole range here. The only merit to capping is if my range is ridiculously tight and if I think the FJ might fold a decent portion of his range. I don't think capping is a good strategy since I think I'm up against a <20% and a <10% range. If I were to cold cap, I think my range would be like top 4-5%. By just cold calling I think I can merge a lot more hands into my range. I think roughly speaking I'm playing like 10%-15% of my range here. ALSO I can just k/r on favorable flops by just flatting pre. Flatting pre is just a dominating strategy here imo.

Flop Analysis: Seems super standard to k/r and fast play. There's no point to delay and balance other hands that needs 6 outs to hit. Also those hands are balanced by weaker midpairs in my range (88,99).

Turn Analysis: Standard River Analysis: Standard Conclusion: Super Standard

Hand #18

Preflop: I open a4dd in the sb, BB (Frank) calls.

Flop: j83r (4 sb) I cbet, BB calls.

Turn: k (3 bb) I check, he checks

River: 5 (3 bb) I check, he bets, I call. I lose to a5o.

Preflop Analysis: I've varied a ton in my preflop strategy. I use to limp my whole range (strategy from phli newlal's 2nd book). I think this strategy is very strong against loose villains. Then for some reason I reverted back to the raise/fold-fit strategy. My range in this spot is 66% against strong players. tprianah's RFI from the sb is anywhere from 70% to 100% (shockers to me), so I have a lot of adjustment to make.

I don't remember as I'm typing this whether or not BB has a 3b range preflop. Anyways going on to PPT: a4dd has 59.03% equity against a 100% defense range, and 58.26% equity against a 92% defense.

If the BB has a 30% 3b range then a4dd has 63.56% equity against a 30%-70% defense range, and 63.06% equityagainst a 30%-92% defense.

Flop Analysis: a4 specifically has around 45%-46% equity against someone who flats their whole range pre and 50.8%-51.3% equity against someone who has a 3b range pre.

rangewise, I'm a 53%-54.3% favorite against someone who flats their whole range pre and 58.3%-59.3% favorite against someone who has a 3b range pre.

This is where I play pretty poorly. I don't think I have a donk check on this board texture, especially since it's dry and unconnecting. I don't think it's a huge leak though... I think this is where strategies among even the very best highly varies. DonJaun noted to me that tprainah has a high flop aggression level, but he k/f a lot on the turn. I think this is a highly exploitative concept since most people probably incorrectly fold too much on the flop.

nweall's book suggested to xb 25% on low connecting boards, xb 10% if factors are intermediate, and cbet 100% if the flop's favorable. This board has a neutral HLM and the DLM is low. I think based off that my cbet range is between 0% to 10%. if i xb 5% of my 66% open (1326*0.66*0.05) then that's 44 hands I'm xb'ing. I think nweall suggested a 20% xr range, 15% xf range, and 65% xc range. sets make the best candidate to xc xr, absolute trash makes the best candidate to xf (able to bluff later streets if checked through), and ace high like hands make the best candidate to xc. anyways im not going to try and figure out the optimal solution to a situation within a situation.

Solving this probably adds <0.01 BB to my WR while misapplying this probably will lower my WR by slightly more.

I'll cbet 100% since my range equity is anywhere from 53% to 59% and my hand equity is at worst 45%.

Turn Analysis: In the moment I thought turning my hand into a bluff catcher was the best thing to do. The pot has 3 BB. If I assume Frank is going to bet turn and river then I only need 28.5% (2/7) equity to call two streets. According to stove, I don't have 28.5% equity.

If he delays his whole range until the turn, I'd still imagine him holding onto 2/3 to 3/4th of his range. In that case my hand has 21% equity and should be a fold.

If he fast plays his monsters on the flop, his range still on the turn still consists of 55% of hands. a4 only has around 24% equity.

If he fast both preflop and on the flop then my hand is still only at 25%.

Wow, I think this means my hand is a fold! Another strategy to adapt is probably k/c and k/c safe rivers. Well, luckily it went check/check.

River Analysis: River came the 5. I check, he bets, and I call... At 4:1, my hand only needs 20% to showdown. If he has any backdoor draws or straight draws that bricked then I need to call this river. I think my hand is a call to avoid being exploited. If I am sure he'll bluff 100% on the turn then perhaps I can make an exploitative fold. That read however is too unreliable to make and I think just showdowning ace high at 4:1 prevents me from being exploited. If I have more reliable read on his game then perhaps I can find a fold.

To proofcheck calling, I'd do this exercise roughly in my head at game speed... I'd imagine 22, 3x, 44, Ax, and some Qx are hands I take this line to the river. These are specifically bluffcatchers that can beat backdoor draws and gutshots. Frequency-wise I should be calling around 1/4th of them to avoid being exploited. A4 is in the bottom 25% to 50th percentile. I'm sure this method is horribly flawed or I'm misapplying the concept of alpha, and really "it depends", but I think it serves as a good rough guide to double check my decision to station. If my decision to call ends up being in the bottom 25th percentile in this spot then I'd have to re-evaluate and go into tank mode.

Conclusion: Wow, I didn't know turn was that close. The equity of my hand is in the gutters assuming his flop peel range isn't with any two.

Hand #19: I open a7o in the co, BB (Doc) folds.

Bonus Hand B

Preflop: UTG1 (Ray) opens, I fold 77 in the FJ

Preflop Analysis: Super standard. Ray has been playing tight. 77 is also ranked 10.3% on stove, so it's not even close to a 3b. 88 OTOH at top 5.3 is a closer decision.

Conclusion: Super Standard. At the time I thought it was close... lol I was bad.

Hand #20

Preflop: SB (Ray) open limps, I raise TT in the BB.

Flop: JQ3 (4 sb) He checks, I bet, he calls

Turn: K (3 bb) He checks, I check

River: 4 (3 bb) He checks, I check. Ray wins with j9o

Preflop Analysis: In a sample size of 20 hands, I really have no info on Ray. This is also the first BvB situation and he open limps. I take open limping as a sign of weakness and raise probably 50% of my range.

Flop Analysis: This flop smacks me, although TT is probably the best candidate to xb (WA/WB) concept. I think cbetting is right.

Turn Analysis: Once called, I started to worry. I think K is a card that smacks him. I had to eliminate midpairs from his range since I expect most unknowns to open raise those. He has also been behaving in the 20 hand sample size (which means nothing), but it wasn't like he was going ape shit crazy in any of those hands. The only hands I really beat are low pairs (which he might raise to begin with) and maybe low ace high hands. Regardless, checking seemed like the best option.

River Analysis: I think I played this street bad. When he checked again (which I didn't anticipate, since I was already ready to call what I thought was a likely bet), I think I have a very easy value bet. I don't think I'm ever getting check raised and I get value from ace high hands and low pairs. Just ace highs themselves make up enough combos for me to value bet. Anyways I tanked, figured I tanked too long, and then decided to xb to just gain some info.

Conclusion: Don't play like a tagfish! *****Time 3 taken*****

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yochess · 10 years ago

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80 Bay, Hands 1-10

Here's a session I played of LHE at bay 101 on December 15, 2014. I recorded a bunch of hands I played and will go over them one by one.

The line up was

Seat 1: Ray (black dude) Seat 2: Hero Seat 3: Frank (prop) Seat 4: Asian dude in glasses Seat 5: Doc Seat 6: Doug (DPR) Seat 7: Taylor Seat 8: Sh,awn Ke,ller (i think) Seat 9: Q

Based on what I know as of that date through mostly stereotyping, a few hours of history, and 2nd hand information, seat 3, 6, 7, 8, 9 are grinders and seat 1, 4, 5 are probably recreational players.

Hand #1

Preflop: I post in between the button and the blinds for 4 chips. BTN (Ray) opens, I 3b 89s, SB (Frank) caps. BTN and I both call

Flop: AAT (13 sb) I check, SB cbets, BTN calls, and I threw my hand into the muck.

Preflop Analysis: My 3b range against the BTN open is usually around 60% of their range. I think against an unknown, I should be 3betting tighter since most unknowns at this level probably err to the tighter side if anything. If the BTN opens 50% then I should be 3betting 30%.

I think I have a lot of leeway to 3b 98s here. 98s is ranked 26.8% on pokerstove's default range settings. I also value suited connectors more when OOP against unknowns. Against showdown-bound/bluffy/sticky opponents I'd value a hand like K5s slightly more than 89s.

Flop Analysis: I completely bricked. At 15:1, my intuition strongly suggests that I can't peel the lower end of a bd straight draw. I think the bottom end of my peeling range would be pairs, Tx, and broadways. I should be bluffing 0% in this big multiway pot on this flop texture since it smacks SB's range.

Conclusion: I think against an unknown, I'm going to 3b 24% (60% of 40%) instead of 30% next time. I know this seems tight, but live recreational players probably open very tight as opposed to the population that actually wins.

My range is going to look like (66+,A2s+,K7s+,Q8s+,J9s+,T9s,98s,87s,A8o+,K9o+,QTo+,JTo), give or take a few combos.

Hand #2

Preflop: EP'ish (Shawn) opens, I 3b 88 in the HJ, CO (Frank) caps. EP and I both call.

Flop: aj9, two diamonds (13.5 sb) EP donks and I snap fold.

Preflop Analysis: 88 is ranked 5.3% on pokerstove. EP's range is probably between 9% to 12%. I normally 3b 50% of villain's range in this spot so my hand is towards the lower distribution of my range. Now that I look back, I definitely way over estimated the strength of my hand.

88 has 42.96% equity against a 9% open and 46.872% equity against a 12% open. I think in spots like this, it is better to err to the side of caution (fold if unsure) since the equity of my hand is very elastic. If we misread villain's pfr as too tight then 3betting becomes a big mistake whereas if we misread villain's pfr as too loose then folding is only a slight mistake.

Flop Analysis: I think my fold is very easy on this board. If I'm closing the action and the board was dryer then I'd peel for set outs. Pot odds suggest I hit 2 out of 47 turns. Implied odds suggest I'll gain 6 extra bets the times I do hit my set. The final pot size has to end up around 11.75 bb (47/4) for me to call to breakeven. The pot size therefore has to end being 5.75 bb. I need 10.5:1 to set mine assuming villain stations and my outs are not dirty.

I've actually been told of the heuristics to peel for set outs when receiving around 14:1 on the flop. However since I'm not closing (and likely facing a raise) and 1 of my out isn't even that clean, I chose to fold.

Conclusion: Standard. If I feel risk-averse I should fold pre next time. 3betting from late position is not bad, but it will be a lot of variance and require expert post flop play.

Hand #3: I fold K9o in the BB to EP (Seat 4)'s open. Hand #4: I fold 24s in the SB to BTN (Ray)'s open. Hand #5: I open JTs in the FJ. Q folds his BB. Hand #6: I fold 72o in the BB to a CO (Doug) raise and a SB 3b. *****Time 1 taken*****

Hand #7: I fold 97o in the sb to EP (Doug)'s open. Hand #8: I open ATs in the LJ. Shawn folds his BB.

Hand #9

Preflop: CO (Shawn) opens, I fold K4o in the BB.

Preflop Analysis: The CO is probably opening around 30%-35%. I just realize I've never actually done work on my defense range in these situations. Probably because it rarely comes up since most pots I play go either multiway or villains just play too tight. Whenever they do open the CO, their range is probably tight enough for me to fold most hands. For the most part I just play by feel. If villain is solid then I play less hands. If villain is on my mark then I defend wider.

Here's an estimation of my default range: (22+,A2s+,K2s+,Q4s+,J5s+,T6s+,95s+,85s+,75s+,64s+,54s,A2o+,K4o+,Q6o+,J7o+,T7o+,97o+,87o,76o), which turns up to be 56.3% of my range. I'm sure my actual range varies a lot as I realize it is extremely unstructured and based on my mood (such as this case). If I wasn't shot taking, I'd probably be peeling this hand. on stove... Against a 50% open, K4o has 42.525% equity Against a 45% open, K4o has 41.157% equity Against a 40% open, K4o has 39.992% equity Against a 35% open, K4o has 38.712% equity Against a 30% open, K4o has 38.313% equity Against a 25% open, K4o has 36.15% equity Against a 20% open, K4o has 35.475% equity Against a 15% open, K4o has 32.252% equity Against a 10% open, K4o has 29.724% equity

I think I can defend this hand next time. WITHG suggests defending hands with good implied odds and 35%+ equity, which adds up to a defense range of roughly 60% against a BTN or CO open. K4o does have 38% equity, but its implied odds is horrible (even K2o has 38% equity, but it won't reach showdown every time). 56s has worse equity than K4o, but its implied odds is much better.

Tprinaha tried to answer tehsilvrebail on http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showpost.php?p=45505854&postcount=262 on a similar question. His answer was basically "it depends"... I'm glad to see him considering Q6o and T7o as his cutoff points, which means my defense isn't too far off from his.

Conclusion: meh, I don't regret folding. K5o I definitely defend and K7o I'd 100% defend.

Hand #10: FJ (Doug) opens, I fold 79o in the sb.

Bonus Hand A

Preflop: UTG1 opens, I fold TJs in the HJ.

Preflop Analysis: JTs is ranked 11.5% on stove. Obviously this is a very easy toss. Even QKs and 88 are close. In the past, I have gotten fancy and 3b JTs. The thing is against both a 10% and a 15% open, JTs has only 35% equity. Putting more money in is suicidal. QKs (ranked 4.8% on stove) OTOH improves from 42.118% to 48.905%.

It's kinda interesting how QKs is a dog, but nevertheless a marginal 3b since we have to merge our 3b range. If we're only 3betting nut hands then our 3b range is too tight and thus we lose value.

Conclusion: As ranges become narrower, 3betting too light becomes a heavier mistake. Never ever 3b an early open with JTs!

However 3betting against a late position open with JTs is ok (as a bluff). Even though JTs has only 43.549% equity against a 30% open, the late opener is going to see less showdowns as opposed to when opening in EP because many hands are not showdown-able from late position (ten high) whereas many hands are showdown-able from early position (ace high).

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yochess · 11 years ago

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what is Consciousness?

What is consciousness? I have no idea... This has been bugging me for quite some while.

Is it matter? Is it a soul? Well, I don't really believe in souls, but I can't just seem to believe all the complexity of life is created by just matter. The feeling I have of me being me, self-awareness or personal identity, if you will, just seems so surreal.

So what is it? Did we just spawn out of total randomness? Did abiogenesis just occur after endless trials, creating life, which eventually evolved into what we are today after billion of years? If so, it is just so surreal to feel alive. Is evolution soooo creative and unthinkable that it somehow created individualism within life? Does that mean we are insignificant? If we did come from total randomness, then it probably took a long long time for it to occur. The probability of some other unimaginable thing probably has a higher shot of occurring, but didn't. The probability of something like this happening relatively speaking is so low that existence must have been around for a very long time. This means what we are feeling is literally a tiny fraction of time and space.

Well, I know I'm just rambling now, but another possibility I suppose is there is some kind of unknown element creating all this 'reality'. Does a tree make a noise when it falls in the forest with no one to hear?? Perhaps stuff isn't just waves and matter simultaneously. Perhaps stuff is pretty much everything imaginable, except we with our limited sense, have no way of comprehending it.

It's sad to think that the experience we experience now will all go away when we die and nothing really mattered... I guess, relative to us, in this short time span relative to the universe, it is of some significance. I just can't feel that the feeling we have now will be gone. poof, total oblivion.

Once we're gone, does the universe still exist in a sense? We won't experience it, but there will still be people on this planet relative to our consciousness. We won't even have a single memory or even have the an idea of what it is like to be human, let alone being alive... Will what occur on earth be useless since we're gone? Is it even in existence? How far would we be from this existence? Perhaps space is just some concept to the conscious world, but to the unconscious world, it may just all be connected.

Another thing I can't seem to ponder about is... we're a living proof that our personal identity exists. Well, I know I exist, and for all I know the other 7 billion are just zombies. However the evidence against that is overwhelming that I can just neglect that possibility. Anyways since we exist, that means the probability of our personal identity is 1. If that's true, does that mean this feeling of me being me will ever come back? Will it come back in another form? Will I just live over and over again after some 10^1000 years? Will I experience something other than life where personal identity somehow exists as well?

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yochess · 12 years ago

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Out of the World Experience

So I've been in LA since January 15th and would like to share the following high story.

A few days ago a kid from poker wanted to smoke with me and Josh. I thought to myself it'd be cool to play poker under the influence, so I smoked wax for the first time and it hit me real hard. It was the most interesting highs I've ever had.

My first reaction was just coughing and going oh shit, this shit is strong. I had to get out of the car and walk around the parking lot for a few seconds.

The next few minutes were still within conscience and I told Josh, "Dude, I can't do anything." We decided to get a hotel room and walking out of the car to the hotel was one of the freakish experience of my life. I literally forgot who I was or what my purpose of living on this planet was. I thought I was going through an infinite time continuum. Every few seconds, I seemed to go through a new phase and became a whole new entity or being. Every now and then, I'd remember Josh and it'd freak me out just to see him. I forgot who he was and every few seconds that he was out of sight, he became someone else in my mind. I also forgot the reason why I was put on this planet and it drove me insane. Every living second was torture. It seemed like an unsolvable puzzle where I was trapped in an infinite loop. I thought I was everything, everyone, every era, every dimension, and even god. I came to the conclusion I was everything and everyone and that this is how god feels like. I was no longer human and reality became a whole new dimension.

Anyways I don't know how I made it to the lobby, but this was literally the first time I lost my mind. Josh later told me I was walking in circles and he had to direct me to the lobby. I remember vaguely checking in at the lobby. The lady had to repeat questions several times and I didn't know how to answer them. When she asked me for my number, I'm pretty sure I gave my social security number. Anyways I'm sure she knew I was high on something...

When we made it to the room, the first thing I did was sleep. Wow, it was the most bizarre experience I had. My thoughts and reality became one. Every thought I had and every time I opened my eyes, both worlds became one. I kept thinking I changed every few seconds. I was a number from 40-50, then I was at that age... I tried to remember the purpose of living and it just brought back the experience I was going through while walking to the hotel lobby. I just kept thinking I was everything from mummies to vampires, from a chick to another person, from another dimension to things unimaginable. It was kind of painful and a huge mindfuck, because every transition was repetitive. I felt I was stuck in an infinite never-ending loop. Towards the end, the mindfuck became extremely pleasurable. It was a somewhat perverted feeling and I'm not even sure why. Every random thought I had made me happier and more pleasurable. I think I was imagining myself to be 50 or something and my brain somehow released a lot of dopamine. It was no longer torture and I thought I reached nirvana. The eternal never-ending loop was no longer a torturous trap, but heaven! The interesting part is I felt I was getting happier and happier by the second. Then of course I fell asleep!!

Looking back, I now know how people in asylums think. Holy shit I want to smoke wax again.

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yochess · 13 years ago

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August Outlook

I have some interests I'd like to tackle on this month...

1) I'm looking forward to working with the start up company. The person in charge of everything is very credible, but busy. It's taking a while for us to communicate, but hopefully the process quickens up in the weeks to follow. I have a feeling I won't actively be starting until mid to late August.

2) I will also be coaching chess to young kids within a month so I'm going to start preparing lesson plans and understanding how the child's mind work.

3) Dennis wants me to help out with our friend's video production. It's gone to the point where his talent is very obvious and I feel there's many opportunities for him (and maybe me) if I were to contribute.

4) Legends of poker is taking place in the LA area as I'm blogging this. If I have the time (which I'm sure I will), I'll go visit and play a few events around mid August. I also miss the 20/40 OE and 40/80 O8 game that runs in Hollywood Park.

5) I really want to start a blackjack team. Now that I've learned my mistakes and banned from pretty much half of all Vegas, I'm pretty sure I can teach people on how to beat the casino for a larger sum of money. I'm going to create a 2 unit course titled Blackjack 101. Anyone that passes the course will make the team. Haha, this is a maybe!! I actually have quite a bit of friends asking me about blackjack, because they want the comps... Anyways I'm really bad at organizing things, but I really do want to do this for the sake of Vegas!! I'll see how the timing goes.

6) JavaScript. Just something I realize I should have picked up years ago. I was introduced to this site http://codeacademy.com/ It seems like a really great way to learn.

7) Starting a poker website: Josh and I realize there is so much money to be made if we were to create a poker community of a specific type of game. It is ridiculous not to create a website. Then again, this sort of thing takes a lot of time and dedication, which I'm not sure if I have at the moment. I want to at least begin creating an outline though. Maybe September!

8) Dad's stamp collection. He claims to have five figures worth of stamps and wants me to sell it on ebay. I'll see what I can do for him, lol...

This is probably it for now. August is going to be a money motivating month! I will be updating my progress.

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yochess · 13 years ago

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2012 so far

January to April

After arriving home from Taiwan, I took a big break from card counting. I hit a rough patch and wasn't feeling too well overall. The biggest lesson I've learned from this experience was not to act on impulse, one of the biggest sin there is to professional gambling. I honestly had no respect for money and took on every +EV money making situation there was regardless of the risk. The variance in blackjack was so sick that I really did feel like it drove me insane. Anyways I left the horror behind me and started applying to jobs. I would get lucky if I receive a polite rejection, only because the other 90% wouldn't even bother to reply. Partially it was my fault because I wasn't too motivated and proactive about my career path. For the next few months I did nothing but watch movies. I felt my life withering away as my friends were progressing with their future.

Fast forward to May...

May

It really started off with boredom. Being the lazy fuck I was (and still am), I became upset at myself for doing nothing productive. I wasn't too sure at this point if I was depressed, angry, upset, a pathological gambler, a loser, or a mix of the above. I've always strongly (and still do) believed in my statistical and analytical abilities when it comes to gambling and I felt that they were all going to a waste. I realized at that point that something had to be done before I lost all confidence and there were only two options left. The first was to see a shrink and get treated for depression and the second was to do what I do best... gamble. Despite the negative stigma behind gambling and the continuous effort my parents put on me into finding that "9-5 grind", I understood that this was something I just couldn't ignore.

Before I knew it, I was down in the LA area. Mason was nice enough to allow me to crash at his apartment. I don't know why, but I was actually a little afraid in meeting him again and his roommates. I guess it was due to the fact that I had little social contact for almost a year at that point... Anyways, I literally came down with only $4,000 in my pocket with dreams of crushing the $20/$40 OE game at Hollywood Park in Inglewood for the next few weeks. I made my debut at Hollywood Park the next day. The card room was just as I imagined it to be: a big room filled with poker tables but nothing luxurious compared to the casinos in Las Vegas. I immediately looked for seating to the $20/$40 OE game and I was instantly granted a spot. My results for the first week were disastrous. I became very unmotivated and even packed up my bags ready to drive back up North to the bay. Despite the horrible feelings, I smoked my pain away. For the next few weeks, I did nothing but play. Mason and his roommates were witnesses to this as I was barely in the apartment. Whenever I was in the apartment, I was either asleep or high.

Casino life really is as degenerate as one would expect. You see the same characters day in day out. Some play for as long as 3 days and 3 nights straight, while others lose thousands of dollars day after day. Many thoughts pondered my head as to what these people do for a living. Anyways about a week into my grind, a white guy seemed to recognize me and introduced himself to me as Danny, in which I naturally accept his handshake and replied, "Drake". To my surprise he asked "chess"? Immediately I recognized him as one of the stud 8 regulars from pokerstars. I became better acquainted with him and his friend for the weeks to come and I am very grateful for the numerous advice they offered me in live poker and omaha 8.

I played on until the end of May and left up a slight amount. I wasn't too happy with my results, but I cherished the experience I had. At this point, I knew the grind I was about to make in Vegas wasn't going to be dull. I realized I really enjoy poker. Anyways I took a quick stop in SLO to meet up with a few friends, then a quick stop to Reno to take advantage of the comps. We drove back the next day and immediately I went straight to the airport and flew off to Vegas. The $1,500 Stud 8 event was about to start...

June

I busted the $1,500 Stud 8 event on day 1 and was really bummed out. I came with approximately 100 big bets for the $50/$100 stud 8 cash game and after busting the tournament, I had about only $8,500 left. What got sick was I dropped another $3,000 within the first three days of playing and at that point, I really felt like packing up my bags and going straight home once again. I had barely enough to pay for the $5,000 Stud 8 main event, not to mention the $1,500 Horse and the $2,500 OE. I set my gambling limit at $10,000 and had no intentions of withdrawing more money from the bank...

Anyways the next few days got a little better. My image of being young was actually a good trait to have. Most stud 8 experts are old since it is pretty much a game popular in the 1980s. No way in anyone's mind would a 22 year old specialize in a game like this. Anyways I started having big upswings and before I knew it, I was doing way better than I expected. One fond moment I'd like to share was having this old guy sit to the immediate left of me every game, because he perceived me as a fish (a bad player). He was recognized by the poker community as a professional player his whole life, living off coupons and cheap motels. Anyways there was this one paricular hand I had against him where I hit trips on 4th street and a fullhouse on 5th street. I checked to him on 4th, 5th, 6th, and the river and his reply to every check was a bet. I was able to check-raise him every street and after that hand, he never sat down in the same game as me again. TAKE THAT YOU GREEDY MOTHER@#$%ER.

Josh came in town for the $5,000 Stud 8 main event. We both busted on day 1 and we both felt like shit. That was the most money I've ever blown on one tournament. Anyways he left a few days later recouping most of the entry fee. I continued the grind, while I enjoyed comped rooms at the Rio. I was able to supply myself with free rooms by playing a little blackjack everyday with the intention of only breaking even. I was able to do this for four weeks until the pit came down to me one day to tell me "I am too skillful at blackjack and am no longer welcomed to play on any Caesars Property or I will get trespassed". I took the back-off gracefully, since I know I can still hit up any Caesars Property and play unrated. I was also thankful for the free month of rent I received from them.

Rewind a bit...

A few weeks before the back-off, I had a few friends come down for EDC weekend. I was very money-motivated at this point that I had to skip EDC. I knew for a fact that going to EDC meant mollys, which would in turn bring nasty hangovers. I did not want this to affect my play in poker, so I sadly sold my EDC ticket. Then another few days later, I had some more friends come over to Vegas. I actually took time off poker for the next 5 days and I would thank Steph for an awesome weekend, despite the huge drama that surfaced among our friends. To be honest, I didn't know what the whole mess was about and why drama would even escalate. Anyways it was probably none of my business, so I tried my very best to ensure no one was hurt... By Sunday night, the only person left out of the entire crowd was Clifton. I was planning to hit up every big hotel that night for comps. First stop: Wynn. Within an hour of playing with an image of being an idiot, while trying to maintain a slightly positive edge, I had a host walk up to me offering me free rooms. Success!! Then a few minutes later, I spotted an obvious card counter who got backed from the game. Worst of all, he pointed at me to the bosses, "What about him?" The bosses looked over at Clifton and told him he is no longer welcomed to play blackjack on their property. I LOL'ed so hard in my mind until he looked back at me and said "You too". I was swirling in disbelief and left in anger at the counter who couldn't keep his idiot mouth shut... My next stop, Bellagio, was put on hold, as I realize at this point my face could potentially be flyered around every major property. I went back to the Rio and slept in disappointment. Coincidentally I was backed from blackjack in all Caesars Properties a few days later.

Josh took time off once more to play the $2,500 OE. We both busted again on day 1 and ended up grinding cash games for the rest of his stay. He left shortly after and I was on my own for the remainder of the trip until the beginning of July.

(Intermission: Sorry if my writing is becoming sloppy. I haven't written this much in a while)

I continued playing and had many interesting moments with an assorted group of poker players. I was pissed on one time by a drunk girl after we took 2 jager bombs together. I think that was probably her 11th or 12th shot of the day. I also made many friends and heard many interesting tales they had to share. Believe me, these tales were interesting. If you've gotten this far in reading this post, then you must have a really boring life or you must like me a lot.

July

I ended up leaving Vegas on July 4th with a healthy profit. I didn't make as much as I planned to, but it was enough to keep me content. I was so burnt out by the time I got home that I pretty much slept whenever possible. I left for Mexico on the 6th and came back on the 10th. Then I made one last gambling trip to Reno on the 11th and came back on the 17th. Now the post-modern event is stirring up. I am excited for the job opportunity I recently just received from a start-up company and I'm also going to be paid for teaching chess to young kids. As for gambling, it is still a passion. But for now, I guess I'll focus on my career path.

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