you-got-tree-fiddy

[you-got-tree-fiddy]

@recipes-yummy @whitepeacock-arts @boycottmilk @timberlinelodge @fabgb13 @hillycrashin-blog @drneounisex @gaylien-prince @dadbodadl @planetsingneptunes @gabrielaaasays @pureaudacity @eat-squat-love @nubia1985 @amazingjewels @cullen-is-not-a-vampire @southfromhere 

Ray-Ban Sunglasses

[you-got-tree-fiddy]

@recipes-yummy @whitepeacock-arts @boycottmilk @timberlinelodge @fabgb13 @suckmydickface @hillycrashin-blog @drneounisex @gaylien-prince @dadbodadl @planetsingneptunes @gabrielaaasays @pureaudacity @eat-squat-love @nubia1985 @amazingjewels @cullen-is-not-a-vampire @southfromhere 

Ray-Ban Sunglasses

[you-got-tree-fiddy]

@recipes-yummy @whitepeacock-arts @boycottmilk @timberlinelodge @fabgb13 @suckmydickface @hillycrashin-blog @drneounisex @gaylien-prince @dadbodadl @planetsingneptunes @gabrielaaasays @pureaudacity @eat-squat-love @nubia1985 @amazingjewels @cullen-is-not-a-vampire @southfromhere 

Ray-Ban Sunglasses

[you-got-tree-fiddy]

Billy shuts off Infowars. Billy says no to the normalization of fascism. Be like Billy

[you-got-tree-fiddy]

[you-got-tree-fiddy]

My buddy used to know this guy in high school that would watch porn before every wrestling match he was in. He didn’t beat the meat. Didn’t even play with it. Sat fully clothed and watched violent ass hardcore for like half an hour.

He won almost every match.

Turns out being sexually aroused with no satisfaction makes your testosterone go into overdrive and turns you into a fuckin beast for like 15 minutes.

I do it now everytime I go to the gym. Never had better workouts.

[you-got-tree-fiddy]

Polish fishermen have caught an old, huge wels catfish, which had eaten a bit of an SS soldier in the 1940s.

O.O

And by “a bit” I mean his head and a bit of his upper torso, since a fragmented skull, two buttons and the insignia were found inside the gigantic fish.

o.O

How does one even…? Brrr!

( @biszumletzten )

[you-got-tree-fiddy]

every year around christmas me and my grandma play this fun family game called “maybe you want to put jesus in your room instead, sweetie? :)”. now, it’s important to note that the jesus referred to in our game is not actually the real jesus christ, but instead a wooden figure i made in 2011 that has an uncanny resemblance to the lord and savior himself

so what happens is that i place jesus in our living room, and my grandma smiles and asks me if i don’t want to decorate my room with him instead. i ask her in return if she thinks my jesus figure is ugly (which he is), but she reassures me that this is not the case. however, a couple of days later jesus mysteriously disappears from our living room, and appear in my room instead

now, the real jesus christ might have been able to perform a miracle like this, but please remember that the jesus in our story is only a figure made out of wood. he can not move on his own, so i think we can safely say that my grandma is the prime suspect here

the first year i would often confront my grandma about this, but she would always make up an excuse and never straight up tell me she moved him because he’s so ugly it’s an embarrassment to the family

eventually i grew tired of her lies, so now we only move jesus around in silence. one second he’s in the living room, the next he’s back in my room. in a way i think this adds an extra element of excitement to the holiday season, because you never know for sure when jesus is going to be moved again

[you-got-tree-fiddy]

any spanish speaker: cojer

méxico and argentina:

[you-got-tree-fiddy]

There’s certain people that you cannot speak on specific topics with because they don’t have the range, the knowledge, the empathy or the depth, to even understand where the fuck you’re coming from.

[you-got-tree-fiddy]

New piece I just finished

[you-got-tree-fiddy]

[you-got-tree-fiddy]

Thinks about how a guy got paid to say nothing but radda radda for the entire run of chowder

[you-got-tree-fiddy]

I can’t stop laughing, somebody send help.