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funniest bit in Conclave by far is Cardinal Vincent Benítez, the only normal person in a 5 mile radius, getting up in a room full of Cardinals and going, "you are all petty, mean and a bit weird, and inshallah I shall not return here ever again" and 118 cardinals were like damn, he's right, we can't let him escape

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i forgot i had a discord

so here you go

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NEW FIC ALERT!! Short crack fic about the notes left inside the 501st fridge!!

LINK

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65204152

“Bet it was Kix”      “No bet. I value my soul, thank you”

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🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊

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and speaking of things I read and forgot about, here’s one I was able to identify a while back with the help of Reddit. Paul Jennings is an Australian children’s author who usually writes about weird events with some gross-out humor for the kids, but he does the occasional story that’s just creepy. Granddad’s Gifts is one of them.

A boy and his family visit his grandmother’s farm, I think to help her prepare it for sale, since the grandfather is dead and she can’t manage on her own any more. The boy sleeps in a room with a locked cupboard, which he is instructed not to open, and of course does, finding a fox skin for wearing as a shawl. Apparently the grandfather shot and skinned it for the grandmother but she was upset by the fox’s death and they locked it away, buried the remains of the fox under a lemon tree, and never spoke of it again.

Anyway, the boy works on the farm every day, and is given two lemons from the bigger of two lemon trees on the property after work. Instead of eating them, he puts them in the cupboard, only to hear moving and chewing noises in the middle of the night. He also dreams about his grandfather, who he can’t remember well, but had striking blue eyes. In the morning, the lemons are gone, and when he touches the tail of the fox skin, he can feel two bones that weren’t there before.

So every day, he puts his lemons in the forbidden cupboard, and every night the fox skin regains two parts, and this goes on for his entire stay. Until the last day, when he finds that his grandmother has taken the last two lemons and made a pie for the family. The boy opens the cupboard to find a complete and live fox, with the exception of its eyes, which are still taxidermy glass, blind and stumbling. He locks the cupboard, then goes and sits on the step and cries, at which point his grandmother says that she doesn’t understand what the problem is, but he can have the two lemons off the small tree if he wants them so badly. The boy knows it won’t work, because it isn’t the tree where the fox was buried, but he takes them anyway.

The next day, he sees a fox run into the woods, which turns and looks at him for just long enough to notice that it has blue eyes.

His grandmother mentions that the small tree has rarely grown any lemons, and it is strange that it never grew well, because that’s where his grandfather is buried.

AUSTRALIAN CHILDREN’S LITERATURE, EVERYONE

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So I was on Instagram (again) and saw something that pissed me off (again)

Apparently because I’m neurotypical I don’t care about stuff and I don’t care for injustices? What the fucks going on with the Instagram neurodivergent?

Bro I’m sorry I’m not autistic because you “can’t be friends with neurotypicals as their interests are shallow”??? Terribly sorry about that???

(I’m more bemused than anything else.. like mutuals who know me/been here awhile… would you say my interests are shallow, that I don’t care about stuff or injustices? I doubt it but seriously interested)

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Reminder that Australia is going to the polls this year.

We cannot have a liberal government. 

Independents are not going to be enough, number them last.

Vote 1 Greens or labour.

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Pushing through the American politics to remind everyone that Australia is having their elections this year!!

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Australia liberal party will claim it wants nuclear power for green energy. It does not. Not only has it been proven multiple times that nuclear power is not a viable option in Australia (cost, time, large area etc) but the liberals are DEEPLY in the pockets of people like Gine Rinheart (don’t fucking ask me how to spell it) AKA rich-from-daddy’s-mining-money-and-still-making-more.

They aren’t going green, their delaying the green energy transition

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Not to be political on main (I say, as if being political on main isn’t half my posts)

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Australians. I don’t give a flying fuck who you vote for, but if you vote for the liberals get the hell off my blog! Thank you

(For the non Australia’s who are going to be like “oh so u like trump” in Australia, the liberals are the conservatives. Don’t get it confused, fuck trump.)

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I’m going to say something only Australians (and people who spend to much time in auspol) will know about

Fuck Mr potato head

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Reminder that in Australia there is no law against lying on political ads. Do not believe everything you hear/see in political ads this year!

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WHOS READY TO VOTE!?

Australia goes to the polls this Saturday!! EARLY VOTING IS NOW OPEN

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Reminder to non Aussies

DO NOT PROMOTE THE LIBERAL PARTY OF AUSTRALIA! (also known as the coalition or LNP)

They aren’t “liberals” like yours may be, they’re far right/right wing conservatives!!

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I'm going to climb up on a new hill to die on: I THINK PALPATINE'S PLAGUEIS STORY IS 100% MADE UP BULLSHIT. If you discount supplementary material created by other authors, the only thing we know about Plagueis is that speech Palpatine gives at the bubble opera, one we already know is designed to manipulate Anakin, but watching Revenge of the Sith in the theater again, thinking about how Anakin will later parrot Palpatine's words exactly--I realized, oh, it's not just a story being used to manipulate Anakin, I think it's a story created to manipulate Anakin, right where Palpatine wants him. It's a story about a Sith lord who learns how to make people stop dying. A Sith Lord who wants to stop his loved ones from dying. We know Palpatine doesn't actually know how to do this--the movie seems to imply that Palpatine was Plagueis' apprentice, but I'm not so sure. Palpatine says that Plagueis taught his apprentice everything--which would include the saving people bit--but Palpatine doesn't know how to save people, he says that he and Vader will discover it together and Anakin doesn't go, "Hey, wait, I thought you were supposed to know this!", which throws unreliability onto Palpatine's story already. There's a lot Palpatine is doing in this movie to manipulate Anakin very specifically--he puts Anakin on the Council, knowing they will ask him to spy on the Chancellor and even "guesses" it before Anakin can say anything at the opera, that he suggests Anakin should be the one to go to Utapau knowing that the Council will vote for a more experienced Master, he reveals himself to Anakin knowing that Anakin will tell them and be forced to choose, he tells Anakin the Plagueis story knowing that Anakin fears Padme's death (he is likely aware of Anakin's emotions about this, being an evil psychic space wizard himself) and sets it up so that it's the perfect bait. The conversation in ROTS goes:

Palpatine: "Remember back to your early teachings. All who gain power are afraid to lose it. Even the Jedi." Anakin: "The Jedi use their power for good." Palpatine: "Good is a point of view, Anakin. The Sith and the Jedi are similar in almost every way... including their quest for greater power." Anakin: "The Sith rely on their passion for their strength. They think inwards- only about themselves." Palpatine: "And the Jedi don't?" Anakin: "The Jedi are selfless. They only care about others." Palpatine: "Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a dark lord of the Sith... so powerful and so wise... he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians... to create... life. He had such a knowledge of the dark side... he could even keep the ones he cared about... from dying." Anakin: "He could actually... save people from death?" Palpatine: The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities... some consider to be unnatural." Anakin: "What happened to him?" Palpatine: "He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was... Iosing his power. Which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew. Then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. It's ironic. He could save others from death... but not himself." Anakin: "Is it possible to learn this power?" Palpatine: "Not from a Jedi."

This entire conversation is a set-up to make Anakin think that it's not selfish to change his views, because it's just exactly as Anakin says the Jedi are selfless and only care about others that he starts the Plagueis story about this legendary Sith who just cared so much about his loved ones that he learned how to stop them from dying. But, oh, he couldn't stop himself from dying, he was only thinking of others! Not himself! Throughout the movie Palpatine is manipulating Anakin's thoughts so that Anakin will think in exactly the lines of thought that Sidious wants him to. ("Good is a point of view, Anakin." --> "From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!", "You know I'm not able to rely on the Jedi Council. If they haven't included you in their plot, they soon will." --> "I should have known the Jedi were plotting to take over!" Etc.) So when he wants Anakin to really consider using the dark side, he tells him a story about this mysterious Sith Lord who just wanted to save his loved ones, not himself, just those he cared about. It's the perfect way to give Anakin an excuse to take that first step that doesn't seem so bad, so against everything he knows is right, and think that it's okay if it's for someone else. It's not because he's so scared to lose someone he loves that he'll make a deal with the devil, no, he's just thinking of others, the ones he loves. The story is so perfectly designed to appeal to Anakin at this moment in time and so incongruent with everything else we know about Sith Lords and how the dark side works (the dark side is not a path to anything good), that I think it's 100% made up bullshit, just like everything Palpatine says to Anakin in this movie is a set-up to direct Anakin's thoughts where he wants them.

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Taylor swift has finally been beaten by hilltop hoods