youjustcannotknow

[youjustcannotknow]

Found composition. South Bank, London. August 2012.

[youjustcannotknow]

canis familiaris

for a wolf pup, the comfiest bed is your big sister. wolf wakes her sister with forceful hug, wolf sits on her sister's head.

ache (or strength in isolation)

self-detachment (when can i finally let my guilt go?)

realizing you're built to understand but not to be understood;

i don't know how to talk about this.

i love unrequited love, i love blind devotion, i love guard dogs. i love being desperately obsessed with the object of your affections. i love when devotion rots into cruelty, i love when love doesn't know any better, i love when love is ugly. i love defanging and declawing yourself just to be loved. i love when a character will wait for the next time they will be loved like a bird or a dog at their beloved's door. i love when love is insanity and

i want to be good. (i want you to fear me.) i want to do what's kind, and gentle, and right. (i want to rip it all to pieces with my teeth.) i want to make the world a better place. (i want to shove my suffering down the throat of the world and watch it choke.)

(you are who you choose to be.)

exigency. no way home. the intentions were good. too much, not enough.

-LDG25

[ under the cut- credits & sources (& pictures & artwork!) ]

"for a wolf pup, the comfiest bed is your big sister" "wolf wakes her sister with forceful hug" "wolf sits on her sister's head" "ache (or strength in isolation)" "self-detachment / when can i finally let my guilt go?" "realizing you're built to understand" "i don't know how to talk about this" "i love unrequited love..." "i want to be good..." "you are who you choose to be" - the iron giant "exigency" "no way home" "the intentions were good." "too much // not enough"

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I wrote a poem-thing? today, and I wanna post it here, but I have to compile sources with links and everything (you'll see why once I post it) and aaaghh I'm not doing that on mobile lmao

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the older i get, i completely understand why some people go off the grid and live their lives in private

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i think ultimately you do really have to kill that part of your brain that vividly imagines how you would redo parts of your life.

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I don't know if this is charitable commentary but that “If Not Sex, How About…" excerpt unnerved me. Maybe I'm too wedded to modern understandings of consent but I feel like "no, I don't want to have sex" is the end of the conversation. At least, I'd want it to be with me. Reading the text, I know the writer and her partner came to a greater understanding through that process, and that is good, but I would not want to be with someone who cajoled me into offering some substitute to appease them.

see that’s great.

It made you feel uncomfortable. If you had been in this situation, the conversation would have been over the first time you refused your partner. If your partner felt similarly to how Ellen felt, she would have to stay silent and handle her feelings on her own for fear of pressuring you and making you uncomfortable. The scene where the two of you talk about how the two of you feel and the two of you eat breakfast while listening to the radio wouldn’t happen, and neither of you would get to have that moment of love and understanding with each other because every step that would lead to that moment would be unacceptable— it would mean that Ellen had crossed an unacceptable line by broaching the subject again, and could no longer be trusted.

But that’s you.

These people figured it out fine. Ellen was allowed to keep talking about the role of sex and connection in their relationship. She was allowed to share her feelings about the topic. Her partner was allowed to talk about how she felt about it and share where she was coming from. Ellen wasn’t abusive or cruel. Her partner didn’t punish Ellen for bringing up an uncomfortable subject or pressuring her for sex. The story didn’t even end with sex. The story ended with the two of them getting what both of them really wanted— a moment of safe and loving connection with each other. But to get there they had to talk about it without being triggered into silence, and Ellen’s feelings had to be just as worthy and important as her partner’s even if her partner was coming from a place of trauma— especially when her feelings could be cleared up so easily just by talking without either one of them feeling unacceptably threatened.

It was extremely brave of them. It’s always brave to remind yourself that you trust someone and that you can talk about difficult things with them and neither one of you will be punished for it.

[youjustcannotknow]

Totality

“This is my high definition photo of last night's total lunar eclipse, created by stacking a total of 200 images captured during the totality phase.”

Astronycc

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2024-08-24

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If you see beauty in something don’t wait for others to agree

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If you think having uncomfortable conversations is hard - wait until you see the result of not having them.

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if tumblr shuts down you can find me in everything you see by looking for me there

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Uh oh! The Oracle has killed herself rather than face the future she foresaw. Market analysts are speculating this may be bad for the economy

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this has me in tears btw

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see the THING IS I don't feel like I ever worked hard enough to have "earned" the burnout, which is. probably how we got here.

[youjustcannotknow]

maya c. popa