your-local-zoe-murphy

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when I TELL you I LOST my motherfuckin MIND

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my boy doesn't haunt the narrative he HUNTS it

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I know you know who I am + A vision in blue

- Next To Normal (2025)

Everyone has been drawing this shot of Gabe, so obviously I wanted to join the club. But I was sad Natalie didn't get the same attention, so that needed to be amended. And then her hair probably took more time than the rest of both of them combined. Still a delight!

I've loved this show since I saw it opening night on Broadway in 2009, and I got to see this production live last year. And now the PBS recording of it is my new hyperfixation. Highly recommend it, but be warned: it tackles very heavy mental health topics. Be safe, take care of yourself. ♥

All my love to Jack Wolfe and Eleanor Worthington-Cox for portraying these characters so wonderfully.

Reference shots:

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Thinking about how unfair Gabe's death was, both within and outside of the narrative. It had no implicit literary significance, no symbolism or parallels to it. It also wasn't caused by anyone in the sense that they had to learn from it, and didn't help them grow or change for the better (trauma itself doesn't make you a better person). In fact, Dan and Diana did everything they could to prevent it, but the doctors still missed his intestinal obstruction, and he died (which happens a lot in real life, giving the story a terrifying sense of closeness to the audience). His death made no sense, and that's the point.

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I don't know what hurts more...Gabe pleading with his eyes or him hesitantly reaching for his father after Dan pulls away.

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NEXT TO NORMAL Eleanor Worthington-Cox as Natalie Goodman

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Teaser for portraits of the Goodman siblings from Next To Normal. Gonna post the full versions whenever INPRNT gets back to me about joining so I can post prints.

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Jack Wolfe as Gabe Goodman Next To Normal (Act I)

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inej and kaz having issues with touch due to trauma. kaz and wylan drowning and being reborn in the ketterdam harbor. wylan and jesper feeling like they have to hide a part of themselves due to their fathers. jesper and nina being grisha with addictions. nina and matthias being raised as a weapon rather than a human. matthias and inej being deeply religious. inej and wylan making themselves smaller because of the abuse they suffered. wylan and matthias being forced into a life of crime. matthias and kaz losing their parents and siblings. kaz and jesper being thrown into the barrel because of reckless behavior involving money. jesper and matthias being taught from childhood to be afraid of grisha power. all of these characters being so different yet so similar and forever interconnected with each other because they know that no one else will understand

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Just remembered that part in ck where Nina wears a revealing outfit and Wylan thinks “wow… I don’t know how she ain’t cold.” dude. We get it. You’re gay. Homosexual. Boy kisser, even.

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me reading six of crows: yes kaz’s perspective i can’t wait to know what the plan is

kaz: lol you and me both anyway let me tell you how beautiful inside out inej is and have i mentioned her laugh because-

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that one scene in crooked kingdom

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welcome back gabe goodman

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i NEED to talk about the fact that Aditi canonically taught Jesper how to shoot (Crooked Kingdom page 257: “And she taught him how to shoot. First with a child’s pellet gun that was little more than a toy, then with pistols and rifle.”)

but Aditi died when Jesper was SEVEN. and he was presumably already pretty damn good if he was advancing from toys to real guns and learning how to use different types. which means that Aditi Hili looked her FIVE YEAR OLD SON dead in the eye and thought “yeah i should hand this hyperactive child a gun and teach him how to shoot it” that is fucking insane

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why the net, kaz?

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Finding a new tenor that has the voice of an angel is like cocaine to me

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Most of the other women in fiction when the love interest is a bad man: its okay, i can fix him. Ill change him <3

Inej Ghafa: no one can change this mf. If he loves me, he'll change himself