yourrandomaunt - Tumblr blog

[yourrandomaunt]

If I won't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend...

I'd just stick with my guitar then 🎸🎶 #musicspeaks #sapphicsound

[yourrandomaunt]

"I've cried enough tears" - I've washed it all away

Well , that's when I thought I did.

First I thought it was a surface kind of crush

"After a few months I'll get over it", that,  that's what I told myself.

Guess I made myself believe.

"Look straight, don't try to look elsewhere"

But I catch myself doing so - multiple times

- smiling silly and getting red

Yep maybe a couple more months and I'm over it.

Well yes, I'm over it .

Crush no more...

Love is what it is.

Stupid self,

What ifs in my head kept playing on repeat.

Until I don't even know how to sleep and eat

Thoughts of her ate me alive

It devoured me

Until I found myself crying.

Tears I didn't expect to fall, tears I didn't understand what for...

Guess I've given so much of me without really even giving her anything

Guess I've let her into my heart when she didn't even wanna get in

Guess I've opened my arms and welcomed her

Even when she didn't even try to take a step towards it

Guess I've fallen hard to sweet nothings

- To a "not even almost" something

Stupid self, I could have seen it coming

But I guess I gave a blind eye and acted like there's "special something"

Until I felt like our worlds are drifting apart

that thin thread that I unconsciously tied to you started getting loose

I'm losing you

Even when I knew I never really had you.

I lost you...

In my world of what ifs

Letting go -  when I thought I did .

I know until now I didn't...

And I don't know when

But I know, It's not soon

And I know I don't want to, yet.